Weddingbee

As promised, here is the continuation of 365 reasons why I love Mr. Candy Corn…

(dun dun dun!)

122. When you come home to a freshly-painted neon green apartment, you don’t get mad at me, you smile and laugh.
123. In college, you’d wait until 10pm to eat dinner with me when I was supposed to be back from class by 6pm.
124. You aren’t afraid of your feminine side (ie: you wear eyeliner for attention when you’re bored at home).
125. You are also notorious for wearing my dresses as your “laundry clothes” since there’s nothing else to wear.
126. When you Q-tip your ears, you make a scrunched-up face and put a Q-tip in each ear with both hands. Somehow it’s adorable.
127. You went through a phase where your tooth cap fell out at every meal.
128. You have a missing tooth that you let me make fun of as often as possible.
129. Little kids make you smile and play peek-a-boo.
130. Your voice is filled with love when you’re talking to your little brothers.
131. You’re always standing up for people because you know there’s good in them.
132. It’s funny seeing you try to get into a “meditation” pose when you meditate because you are the least flexible person ever.
133. You like the way I smell, even if I feel like I smell like sweaty ass.
134. You are the only person who can calm me down when I’m overwhelmed with stress.
135. You give amazing advice and help me see that people shouldn’t walk all over me at work.
136. Whenever I compliment you, you say “Shucks, bitch.”
137. You always capitalize when you’re on AIM because you get excited to talk to me and accidentally press the caps lock key.
138. You mix up “your” and “you’re” a lot. With anyone else that would greatly annoy me, but somehow I find it to be charming when you do it.
139. You’re a sci-fi geek.
140. We always cheer together when our favorite Top Model wins.
141. You never tire of “your mom” jokes. Even if they aren’t funny. They are usually just factual statements with “your mom” inserted in the front. For instance, “Your mom reads Weddingbee.” See? It’s factual AND not funny.
142. You like studying vocabulary.
143. You served gray hot dogs in the Costco food court for over a year to help pay the bills.
144. You put up streamers and made me a cake for my birthday.
145. You draw angsty Superbad-tastic doodles in your notebooks at school.
146. You aren’t annoyed by my music, even if I’m in a Little Shop of Horrors Soundtrack mood.
147. You get giddy when I tell stories from my past.
148. You talk in funny voices, one of them being your “cornbread” voice. It’s special, in a paste-eating kind of way.
149. You stand outside after concerts with me, just so I can give my favorite band members cheesy Dollar Tree gifts.
150. You get so excited about wearing your wedding band and it makes you make this really grateful expression that I love.
151. You’re equally as bitter as me about emo kids who wear tight pants and get cantaloupe ass.
152. You usually play guitar with at least two strings missing.
153. You watch romantic movies that I love (ie: Before Sunrise), even if they bore you to tears.
154. You always tell really bad stories that are pointless and have no ending, but I love them anyway.
155. You know me better than I know myself.
156. You always use the same password for things and it makes me giggle.
157. You let me eat the entire gallon of Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream before you even get a chance to grab a spoon and take a bite.
158. You clean the bunny cages when I’ve had a bad day (the last thing I want to deal with is hundreds of little bunny poo pellets when I come home).
159. You love when I tuck you in every night.
160. You don’t make fun of me (too much) when I have to obsessively make sure the alarm clock hasn’t magically messed up the wake-up time every night.
161. You always share your blue raspberry ICEE with me at the movie theaters, even though I act like I don’t want any at first.
162. You eat three-day old movie theater popcorn. Eek.
163. You’re incredibly affectionate to homeless people.
164. I love the way you move your hands when you’re explaining things. It’s super Italiantastic.
165. You like to read with me.
166. You feel the need to inform me when your balls itch.
167. The way we both interrupt each other and I tell you to tell me what you were going to say and you do the same and we both forget what we were going to say.
168. The way you purposely drive me crazy, then giggle.
169. The smell of your shirts.
170. The curve of your scoliosis back.
171. You made me go see Alien vs. Predator in theaters.
171. You watched Alien vs. Predator II online illegally.
172. You didn’t make fun of me for buying a Blythe doll.
173. When we slept in the same bed together at college, you always stained the one side of the foam mattress a nasty gross yellow ochre color…wait, why is that one of the things I love??
174. You cried for hours when your mom wouldn’t let you watch Nirvana Unplugged in your junior high years.
175. You make me feel really lucky that I had a happy childhood.
176. You insist on having the fan on in the winter because you like the noise (hello: noise machines exist!).
177. You let me use you as a model for tons of my art projects.
178. You buy me ugly Cosby sweaters to support my sweater addiction.
179. You share my ugly Cosby sweaters with me.
180. You wore my super tight, striped red and white pants at a Journey concert and women in their late 40s hit on you all night.
181. You are a bitter jazz junkie at heart.
182. You have spurts of puberty voice attacks and then get mad afterwards.
183. You’re tone deaf when you try to sing and have the balls to tape it and share your terrible singing with our friends.
184. You always do any favor I ask of you.
185. You make fun of our upstairs neighbors with me when they have boring sex.
186. You like doing laundry together.
187. You kept old Gatorade just to watch its molding process.
188. You randomly use the Bowie-impersonating-Warhol voice and confuse anyone else that’s around.
189. You announce whenever you’ve farted.
190. You always misspell love via AIM and say “lvoe” because you’re the worst typer evah!
191. The dog episode of Futurama makes you cry.
192. You appreciate Jackson 5 outfits almost as much as I do.
193. You love coming home from work at the same time and asking how my day was.
194. When you get really into a television show, you always mouth along to it like Will Smith used to do on the early episodes of Fresh Prince haha.
195. You draw the funniest doodles on mix cds.
196. Behind the Music makes you WAY too happy.
197. You pee out your parent’s basement door and have no shame.
198. You love to hear when people are talking about you (and saying nice things, hopefully).
199. You see local bands with me a million times because you know how happy it makes me.
200. You love my Jesus action finger as much as I do.
201. You watch dodgeball on tv with me.
202. You give yourself a goal and force yourself forward.
203. You deal with my constant nagging (I’m a good nagger, it’s true!).
204. You get really worried when you can’t find your stuffed monkey Ronaldo because he’s fallen in the crack.
205. You go out no matter the hour to buy me medicine if I’m sick.
206. You nurture me when I need you to.
207. How excited you get to read music autobiographies, like Frank Zappa’s or Miles Davis’.
208. How you used to spend all of the money you’d save from working at KFC to visit me at school when you were away for a semester.
209. How you wouldn’t speak French to me until we were together for a few years because it makes you really self conscious.
210. How you hug people at work if they look like they’re having a bad day.
211. How you love to scrub things and clean (in the kitchen, not the shower).
212. When we had to go months without seeing each other, you’d put your deodorant on a t-shirt so I wouldn’t miss your smell.
213. How Giovanni Ribisi is your Hollywood twin.
214. You loudly play didgeridoo at the upstairs neighbors when they start to vacuum at 7 A.M. on a Saturday.
215. How I remind you of Clementine (as neurotic as she is) from Eternal Sunshine.
216. How you see through my stupid mood swings.
217. How much Mountain Dew you used to drink when playing Magic the Gathering with your fellow goobery friends.
218. How you don’t mind me constantly taking photos of you.
219. Your crazy dance outbursts.
220. How we order pretzel pizza for special occasions.
221. How we went to see Joey from Full House do his comedy show at school and it was AWFULLLLL.
222. How our first date was to see Stephen Lynch perform and got our photo taken with him and our new freshmen friends.
223. How you took the final of my most-hated professor, even though you weren’t in his class (just to make me smile during it).
224. How you notice me noticing things.
225. The way you can’t keep it a secret if you’ve done something nice for me.
226. The way you say “hey” before you say “I love you.”
227. The way you worry yourself over nothing almost as much as I do.
228. The way you carefully watch sugar pour into tea.
229. The way you hold your lack of belly fat when you try to convince me you need to lose weight.
230. The way you breathe heavy when you sleep.
231. How you always lose socks in the bed.
232. The way you say “yeeeeeeah” after I remind you about something you should do (aka nag you).
233. How you love doing math. For fun. Which also sort of freaks me out.
234. You’re civil to your ex-girlfriends and don’t have terrible “I hate them so much!” stories.
235. How you “aw!” at the most ridiculously non-cute things I do.
236. You came to an R.E.M. concert with my mom and I.
237. The way you say “water” like “wooder.”
238. How forgetful you are, which is good, just in case I repeat any of these.
239. How you didn’t know what my freshman roommate looked like because you were too scared to look at her (she was a total PRINCESS hottie eeeeeeek).
240. How you laughed your arse off when you witnessed my freshman roommate’s boyfriend hide her stapler because they had just gotten into a fight and he wanted to “pay her back” and knew if she couldn’t find her stapler she’d be “super pissed.” It was nice to exchange totally confused glances with you.
241. How you helped me gain the confidence to tell an ex-friend how I felt about her when she was awful to me.
242. How you told our hippie friend in college that he smelled like chili whenever you saw him. And it was true.
243. You make fun of me when I dress like a blind bag lady.*Proof of #243:

So how about you bee readers out there, what are some of the weird things you love about your significant other?

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