Weddingbee

Ok, maybe not. But that would be an interesting twist on things, you have to admit.

Magnificent moment though it is, slicing into your perfectly pretty wedding cake is painful, people. Forget freezing the top layer. I wanted to smuggle the whole thing out under my dress. Alas, we had to do it. We had to commit pastricide:

Once the piece was safely on its plate, however, there was nary a fork to be seen. Mob mentality being what it is, we were urged to just use our fingers. This took us dangerously close to the land of the cake smash, but Mr. LB had been thoroughly schooled in my opinions on that:

Sometime after the cake cutting, after all the toasts and special dances - after a round of Washington apple shots - one of my girlfriends approached me. “When are you doing the bouquet toss?” she asked. “I’m not,” I replied.

Her look of horror was priceless. “I’m not into it,” I said, naming my reasons (none of which are new to Weddingbee toss-or-not-toss discussions). No longer horrified, my girlfriend then just looked crestfallen. “Oh, alright,” I laughed. “I’ll do it. But I’m telling the DJ to call only the pretty girls to the dance floor. None of this singling out the singletons baloney.”

And that’s exactly what he did. Being that there happened to be only pretty girls at our wedding, it worked out well. I didn’t have a toss bouquet (this was an entirely unplanned event), but I didn’t mind tossing mine at all. I was having such a blast, and everyone was so caught up in the moment, it didn’t faze me in the slightest:

From your end, it’s all about the fake out, really:

And from their end, it’s all about the starting position:

Of course, there’s ultimately no way of knowing how the petals are going to fall:

The girl on the far left wanted absolutely nothing to do with the toss (she’s staunchly anti-marriage), even though I explained that this was not about that next-in-line nonsense - so now we have this priceless photo of a girl doing a wedding bouquet block. Awesome!

One of the things we loved about our photographer is that if he took a particularly great shot of someone, he’d stop and show it to them. It was like we just had another friend there, partying with us: one who happened to be a wiz behind the lens:

Sarah’s victory was sweet. Note her expressions of triumph and evil gloating, respectively:

The best part of the toss was that all the boyfriends/husbands were on the sidelines, cheering the girls on with calls of “Use your elbows!” and the like. Sarah’s boyfriend was so very proud:

“Good job snatching!” “Good job thwarting!”

It’s a good thing I’m a secure woman. Look at all these hotties:

Day-um!

Next up, things get freaky:

- Mr. LB takes a pomander to the nether regions
- Shortie gets low - so low, in fact, that I disappear into my gown
- Parlor tricks, dance floor naughtiness, and maybe, just maybe I’ll post the ugliest cry face photo you’ve ever seen IN YOUR LIFE. Maybe.

All photos by a man who should really be canonized, the incredible Chris Richards.

• Wedding Backlash?
• It’s All In The Det...