Rules of Engagement

June 12th, 2008 @ 1:09 pm by Mrs. Candy Corn

My family has always been deep-rooted with traditions, but they are “our” traditions. Sometimes when I tell people the stories about our family traditions, they give me this “Are you making this up or ripping it off of some David Sedaris book?” face. As an example, I’d like to share the following photo taken during this past Christmas of my brother (dressed as Jesus) and Mr. CC, who was alternating between being a gangsta elf and a man-loving elf (not that there’s anything wrong with that!):

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This image is not meant to offend, but is merely here to offer a glimpse into our family’s bizarro traditions.

As far as wedding traditions go, Mr. Candy Corn and I have made the following decisions…

There will be:No garter or bouquet toss
No cake-smashing
No veil
No something old, something new, something borrowed (ok, maybe something blue)
No engagement party or photos (I take way too many photos of us as it is)
No typical “let’s get drunk and wear necklaces with naked bits on them!” bachelor/bachelorette parties (although I fully support those tasteless necklaces and own many a peenie bracelets)
No ringbearers or flower girls (although if someone is willing to train Betty White not to drop a deuce on the aisle runner, I may have to rethink that!)
Non-traditional ceremony music & humorous, lighthearted vows and readings (with no mention of religion, just a whole lotta love)
No receiving line
No limo
No dollar dance, for the love of all things holy!
No macarena (which just so happens to be the name of our dj)

Some of the traditions we are taking part in include:

My uber sentimental dad walking me down the aisle (but we’re skipping the whole “hey, do you give your daughter away?” bit)
Me wearing a white dress
Mr. CC not seeing my dress until I’m trying my best not to trip down the aisle
The engagement ring
Ring exchange
First dance and mother/son, father/daughter dance
Me taking Mr. CC’s last name
The cake-cutting ceremony
Spending the night before apart, mostly because we are never apart and Mr. CC wants it to be that much more special when he sees me for the first time during our ceremony

These are just some of the traditions we’ve decided we’re either “for” or “against.”

How did you and your significant other choose which traditions you would or wouldn’t be incorporating into your wedding day?

Tags: philadelphia, traditions |

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15 Responses to “Rules of Engagement”

Member

frenchiegirl (message) 5 posts, Newbee

Ok,

I NEVER leave comments, though I love to read all the blogs on this site, but you just made my day. Your wedding looks like it was a marvelous event and you looked beautiful in your gown.

The ‘ugly face photo’ and the comments leading up to it, are the funniest things ever! I can’t stop laughing. I LOVE this website, thank you for contributing to my joy.

6/12/08 @ 1:24 pm (reply)

Member

frenchiegirl (message) 5 posts, Newbee

Oh my gosh, so sorry, I meant to leave this comment for the post below.

Excuse me

6/12/08 @ 1:25 pm (reply)

Guest

mhb

I just have to throw this out - we were anti-receiving line, too, because I always hated waiting in that line at weddings, but then there were people I didn’t really get to say hi to at our wedding - bummer! Just make sure you have a receiving line alternative so you can talk to/thank/hug everybody, that’s all.

6/12/08 @ 1:26 pm (reply)

Hostess

suzanno (message) 2,694 posts, Sugar bee

You’re right - I think maybe you need to invite David Sedaris to the wedding. I love the picture!

We included everything that meant something to us… which turned out to be very little of the very long traditional list. Of your NO list, had a simple engagement portrait done - mostly because my sister still says she regrets not having done that, and because FI is a portrait junkie. Our YES list also looks a lot like yours, except that we are spending the night before the wedding together. We had a lot of discussion on that, mostly because his family normally stays with him when they come to town, but we’re now living in my house (with his two teenaged kids) and I am adamant that I’m not getting ready for my own wedding in an excessive bathroom-sharing situation. So it was either his family stays in a hotel, or I do (and not in a bad way - I would have been fine with a hotel room). He says that we are family now, and he prefers that we stay together, in our own house. And so we are.

6/12/08 @ 1:28 pm (reply)

Guest

whoa

he’s not flashing a “gangsta” sign, he’s flashing the shocker. not appropriate.

6/12/08 @ 1:28 pm (reply)

Guest

Erin

We’ve been feeling out what’s important to us (and what’s not) as we plan. For example, I only discovered that having a formal procession into the ceremony was a big deal to me when we discovered that it was difficult to make an aisle at our site. And FI figured out that having a first dance was important to him when we started discussing music, floor space, etc.

Overall, we’re having a pretty non-traditional wedding. So I think we’ve unconsciously held onto some really traditional elements so that it would still seem like a “wedding.”

6/12/08 @ 1:37 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Candy Corn (message) 516 posts, Busy bee

@mhb:
Thanks for the heads up!

@suzanno:
Hahah I’m glad I didn’t offend at least one person! That’s sweet about you guys staying together the night before.

@whoa:
Mmm I didn’t even catch that because I’m not up to date with my hand signs. After the peace and rock and roll sign, anything else is too complicated. No worries, Mr. Candy Corn meant no harm with his shocker symbol, he’s all talk (or gestures, I should say!).

6/12/08 @ 1:38 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Pomegranate (message) 956 posts, Busy bee

Well, I think it’s all in good fun! I love you and your family’s sense of humor and I know you didn’t mean to offend.

I love your choices of tradition and non-tradition - you’ve definitely given me some food for thought in regards to things like the receiving line. Thanks CC!

6/12/08 @ 1:46 pm (reply)

Guest

Christine

Our list is a lot like yours, but we’re also skipping the “don’t see each other” bit… Mainly cause I assumed we were, so I asked him where he’d sleep the night before. He said “I just assumed where ever you’d be, I’d be next to you,” and my heart melted and I replyed “Sounds good!”

Otherwise, veils creep me out and I couldn’t just pick one kid over others to be part of our ceremony, so aspects like that helped us decide.

6/12/08 @ 1:57 pm (reply)

10.

Member

gnp (message) 12 posts, Newbee

Ms. CC, I am with you on alot of what you have to say. Just about everything you’ve mentioned you aren’t doing, we are not either. (Except the religion part. Will be a part of ours.)
Our ceremony will be an intimate, outdoor affair. Music for general seating is light hearted (one fo my favs is “Anyone Else But You” from the movie “Juno”) and I am walking down the aisle to our song.
At the reception there will be a first dance and the rest is celebration with friends and family.

6/12/08 @ 2:53 pm (reply)

11.

Bee

Miss Candy Corn (message) 516 posts, Busy bee

@whoa:
I’m being told by Mr. CC that he is flashing the East Coast sign (backwards because he’s not very coordinated), not the shocker. Phew, no need to be grossed out!

6/12/08 @ 3:02 pm (reply)

12.

Guest

Erin

I have to say, the thought of dressing up like Jesus at Christmas is freaking awesome, that pic just made my day.
Thank you.

6/12/08 @ 3:02 pm (reply)

13.

Guest

sunflowers

So, we know what traditional things you will not be doing and what traditional things you will be doing. What I want to know is: What zany family traditions will you be incorporating that are not part of mainstream culture’s traditions? (Since no religion, I’m assuming your brother won’t be dressing up as Jesus at your ceremony - but I’m imagining there are some Gooooood CC family traditions.)

6/12/08 @ 3:08 pm (reply)

14.

Guest

Melina

Ah, Miss CC I love your style… I think we have the same exact YES/NO list, except I’m not taking his last name… other than that we’re on the same page, sista. And I LOVE the costumes, shocker and all

6/12/08 @ 4:14 pm (reply)

15.

Guest

Tiffany

I can tell you that I plan on skipping the receiving line as well. Instead, I would like to either greet people (with champagne in hand) as they’re leaving cocktail hour and going to the reception or I would like to simply mingle during the reception to thank each person for coming. That just seems more relaxed to me. Who wants to stand in a rigid line for a half an hour after their wedding?

6/13/08 @ 9:20 am (reply)