Wedding Blog
When my hair stylist and “friend” of five years double-booked my wedding day (with a more lucrative wedding offer several hundred miles away, no less), I was crushed. It felt like a slap in the face, especially because he told me only a couple of days before my only trip to Vancouver.
Because this was the only trip we would be taking before the wedding, it left me scrambling to find a replacement hairdresser that was available not only for a trial on short notice, but was also available to do 6+ updos on the morning of the wedding.
My mother booked a trial with a salon and spa near her house, and armed with the following images and a faint hope that everything would be alright, I set off yesterday morning.
(miscellaneous images from knotties kayrose and others, weddingbee, dancing with the stars)
I thought I knew what I wanted: an updo, with a side part and ’sweep,’ volume on top, maybe a chignon, maybe a higher updo. Something pretty, elegant, vintage-inspired, and above all, something that flattered my features.
Like many people, I am very insecure about my looks. Mr. Shortcake can tell me I’m beautiful a million times over, but if I’m having a fugly-feeling day, ain’t nothin’ gonna help.
Unfortunately, today was a fugly day. To me, my teeth looked like horse teeth, my nose was too big, my eyes uneven, my chin weak…I could go on and on. Armed with an arsenal of insults aimed at myself, it was no wonder that I was unimpressed and depressed with my hair trial. However, my mother (who thinks I’m pretty good-looking), made a disgusted face when I walked in the door.
“How much did you pay for that? I could do that myself, for free!”
…and I paid more for the trial at this spa then I would have for the trial and hair combined at my ex-stylist’s salon!
Ignoring that my hair is largely the same texture as the fuzzy, un-ironed mess that I came with (hair product? What’s that?), I think the back of the hair is quite pretty. Harder to ignore is the fact that the curls began falling out less than an hour after the trial…
…and even harder to ignore is the fact that the front is exactly the same as how I wear my hair everyday:
The hair is nice, but the overall feeling (despite my Miss Congeniality smile) I had and have about this hair-don’t is
“meh.”
Here’s the side view. Um, where is the volume I asked for? The hairdresser explained that because my hair was thick, she couldn’t do as nice as an up-do as she wanted…
And the side-sweep? I couldn’t have one, she said, because of my “hairline.”
The front is just SO boring to me - and with my (short, reception) drop veil on, the only cool part of this up-do is covered, so it looks like I’m wearing a bun.
I’m just so disappointed. I didn’t expect to pay a hefty chunk of change for such unimpressive hair and service - I even had to supply my own hair elastics! After three hours, it was already all loose….we’re thinking of not bothering with trying to find other salons in Langley and just doing my hair at home!
What do you think?
|
Share this post: A Hair-Don’t For Shortcake
I actually like it but you’re right, it’s missing the side sweep. I think you can pull it off, just have them comb your hair that way and use hairspray!
I think the stylist’s excuse of you having thick hair is pretty lame for not being able to have volume. As a person who has lots of thick hair I know this can be done w/ someone who knows what they are doing. My stylist uses curlers to set my hair and then back combs the front to create “volume”. Your hair looks nice but I feel you on the “not spectacular” and not wanting to spend so much on it. Oh, and BTW you look gorgeous.
Well I think you look absolutely beautiful, but it is a very classic and, aside from the cool “bun”, it’s pretty plain. I think you’re looking for more dramatic, more glam, yes? I would try someone else! I have thick hair and my hairdresser has no problem creating volume–she uses velcro curlers, teasing, mousse, hairspray–voila! Try someone else. Oh, and for the front/side sweep–I don’t know how it is created but would you consider cutting layers in the front? I am thinking of nicole richie’s hair and she usually has the side sweep by just brushing her very long bangs off to the side.
you can do better. The stylist making excuses for her inability or unwillingness to do what you requested is simply… inexcusable. Don’t go back to her. Your hair should be the way you want it.
first of all I am with Mr. Shortie and think you are stunningly beautiful. Secondly, I think you may be right, the stylist didn’t do you justice. It is pretty, but not what you asked for. It seems a little backward that she said you couldn’t have volume because your hair is thick. Wouldn’t that make it easier? I am always trying to create less volume with my thick hair…
I would go with your gut, try a few things at home or look for someone else who will make you happy.
i went to a good salon in new west many years ago, they used great product, and my hair didn’t budge. lemme know if new west is somewhere you want to venture on your wedding day
You had to supply your own hair elastics? You’re joking, right?
Honestly, I love the way the updo looks from the back, but if it starts falling out so quickly that’s not a good thing, and I agree that it looks a bit plain in front. My suggestion would be to ask your ex-stylist for a list of recommended replacements. It’s the least he can do after bailing on you like that.
Wow, “hairline”? That’s almost as good as the hairstylist who told me she couldn’t do any sort of layers in the front of my hair because of my “cowlick”. Umm, in 24 years of haircuts, no one ever mentioned this “cowlick”…and like you, that hair cut cost more than I had ever paid in my life! That being said, my fall-back strategy for special occasion styling (because I am pretty much hopeless with a curling iron) is to have my hair roller-set at a Haircuttery or SuperCuts for about $20, then do minimal brushing before pulling it back into a twist/bun/whatever. This way, you get volume/texture on top without having to fuss too much with teasing or pinning.
First of all, you are gorgeous Shortie! Hang in there. 
I do agree with the others that your hairstyle is a wee bit plain. I think it might not be a bad idea to consider MissChickie’s idea to cut layers in the front like Nicole Ritchie. I wear my hair in a side part every day, and I find that it lacks oomph when I try to style it for a side-parted updo because it naturally falls that way. Layers might help, and it might also help to request that your stylist really go for volume in the front. When I blow dry my hair with my head upside-down, for example, the front has a lot more volume (in a good non 80s way) than if I just blow dry it regularly. A deeper side part might also help?
No worries, though — you’ll be lovely!
If it makes you feel better, my first hair trial went horribly too — and it was during one of our only trips back to the wedding destination. The good news is, i think this is salvagable. As others said, you can do the side sweep yourself — just go in that day with the part where you want it. And perhaps it wasn’t as smooth/didn’t stay as long because she didn’t use as much product as would on the big day? During my trial, this is what my gal said she was doing.
All that said, it might ultimately be less stressful for you to DIY since you don’t have another opportunity for a trial.
Shortie, given that Mr. Shortcake tells you that you are gorgeous a million times a day, I am sure that me saying that I agree with him is just going to bounce right off of you. But I’ll say it anyway. You are gorgeous and even if you wear your hair exactly as shown here on your wedding day, when you are in your gown and veil, you will not be able to not be gorgeous
Maybe you should try to find someone who is used to working with thick hair. Perhaps a place in South Van that has more South Asian clientele might do the trick? A lot of women with thick hair wear up dos. That stylist sounds like she was just playing on your insecurities to support her excuses.
I know that you are having a hard time finding a place to do your hair trial in short notice and can accommodate 6 additional updos on your wedding day. Can you consider getting rid of your second requirement and let your bridal party go somewhere else if need be? They will have time to continue scouting whereas you don’t. Just a thought.
Good luck! Sorry I don’t know anything about salons that do updos in Vancouver.
You are gorgeous! You are such a natural beauty, that you can honestly do anything with your hair and you would still be so pretty!
Although i really like simple, natural hairstyles- i do think your hairstyle needs a litte more Oomph!
Is it possible that this was just a rough trial, and that the hairstylist will make sure there is more volume and hold on the wedding day? I know a lot of hairstylists don’t want to spray the heck out of someone’s hair because they want to play around with it to show you differnt looks.
I personally think the fron just needs a little more somethin somethin- Kayrose’s picture that you have in the inspiration picture is gorgeous and i think you should try to do the front like that- can you cut your hair a bit shorter in the front? There is no excuse to get a nice side swept in the front of your hair- perhaps tell your stylist that you were a little dissapointed with the front and see if she can have you come in again before your wedding to do something with the front- she should not charge for that, but if she does it should be really cheap since she is just working with the front of your hair- not doing the updo again. Perhaps a short trim at the front will help you achieve the look.
Good luck with everything. Like i said, you are such a beauty that there is no way possible you can look bad
my first hair trial was a disaster. the stylist hardly touched my hair, and i walked out with the same pony tail that i walked in with because he said that he’d need to “go home and practice” to get what i wanted. (I didn’t ask for anything elaborate either!)… and then he had the nerve to charge me AN INSANE AMOUNT for a hair trial that he didn’t even DO?!
long story short, I found a different stylist who did exactly what I wanted, no excuses, no practicing required. I’d recommend you find someone else who is committed to doing their very best to leave you feeling beautiful and ready for your wedding day
Miss Shortie - you are absolutely beautiful.
It’s rather irritating that when you walked into the salon asking for some completely reasonable hair requests, you were bombarded with reasons why you wouldn’t be able to have have them met! RIDICULOUS! People with thick hair can have volume. People with hairlines like yours have have side-swept parts (HELLO - just make the part slightly more to the side). People pay for extensions to get hair like yours and the woman should have been no less than grateful to work with you!
With that said, I think your hair looked gorgeous - but I didn’t see it in person and if YOU are not happy with it, I recommend going with another salon or doing it yourself. Let’s see a hair trial done by YOU!
You look very pretty, but you need to find another hairstylist with a better attitude. I had to do three hair trials, each with a different stylist, and each costing $$$. I’m still not 100% happy, but at least the last stylist was eager to please.
Miss Shortie,
I feel for you, I really do. I have the same problem you do, frizzy and thick hair, and I found a hairdresser that knows her stuff, and does my hair exactly what I want, and also gives me what I need.
She is at a hair Salon in South Surrey, if you would like to get in touch with her, PM me. She is so nice, professional, and will make you feel beautiful.
Let me know.
I agree with the others - you look gorgeous, but your concerns make sense. “Hairline”? What a pathetic excuse from the hairdresser.
That’s BS. I also have thick coarse hair, and I think a similar forehead to yours. I agree my hair looks best side swept. (I’m saving your inspiration boards!) I’ve never had the lift in the back, but I really think it is possible, you just may have to do some backcombing. Just be aware that if you want a do w/ backcombing, you will spend a lot of time on your wedding night “unratting it”. Maybe there is a way for them to just pull up your sides and clip with a barrette, then do the bottom separately. I have had the best luck when they do my updos in sections.
Good luck!
I also agree- you are STUNNING no doubt, but if you don’t feel it, then move on. I have very thick hair as well, and my stylist made no excuses about not being able to do the type of updo I wanted. And what’s this nonsense of providing your own elastics??
Miss Shortcake, I’m not sure how far you want to venture but I have a fabulous hair dresser who just left her salon and opened her own in Maple Ridge! For our wedding (which we cancelled for a DW) she was going to come to our house where all the girls were getting ready. I’m not sure if that’s something she offers for everyone but you could definitely try!
i can not believe she blamed her lack of creativity/know how on your hair!
i don’t see how on earth your hairline kept her from doign side swept bangs….and i definitely don’t understand how having thick hair prevents you from giving a person the volume they request!
this is ridiculous! (can’ you tell i’m mad??? i’m taking my defense stance)
i really wish i knew that area and could suggest stylists. i refuse to believe that you can’t have the wonderful retro ‘do of your dreams.
and you had to bring your own elastics????
harumph…..
first of all, you’re gorgeous! and i love the back of your hair in these updo pictures! don’t take the excuse that your hair is too thick for volume. i have massive amounts of hair and my stylist had no problem giving me volume on top of my wedding updo. she backcombed, sprayed, teased, and combed over until it was as high as it needed to be. your stylist is being lame with that excuse. that being said, if you don’t like your hair, go with your get and get searching for someone else!
Well, I certainly hear you on the fugly days, I certainly have those myself. But you really are gorgeous! And you have such a beautiful smile! And this not me trying to make you feel better, it’s just the truth!
As for the hair, I think the back is really pretty, but the veil does cover it up. Are you planning on wearing the veil for the ceremony and reception? The front is a bit plain, which is rather inexcusable given that that’s in no way what you asked for and they came up with totally lame excuses for why they couldn’t do what you wanted them to do. I’d say practice some diy looks, and maybe also look around for recommended places, OR tell them that they didn’t do what you asked them to do and offer them another chance to get your business, give you another trial (free), and do what you actually asked for. I don’t know how well that last one will go over if they made you bring your own hair elastics. At the very least, you should leave them an honest review online so others don’t end up in the same boat . Good luck!!!
oh…and i’m completely with you on those fugly days. lately, what i find is that by doing my makeup anyway (instead of skipping bc i feel like it wont help anyway) really helps me turn that feeling around.
that and food…but thats another issue, lol…
I just had the EXACT SAME EXPERIENCE. I am still not over the diappointment of loving the back and hating the fact that I looked the same front on - I haven’t decided what to do yet. Read and see more here: http://www.xanga.com/FromMs2Mrs/661116931/hair-trial.html
I hate to see my favorite bee sad. I know you have so much going on during this trip that you don’t really have time for things like this to go wrong. Is there someone who lives in the area that you can delegate to do some research. Maybe a friend/sister can spend a few hours online and can find someone else for you to do a trial with - maybe right before your engagement party so you can have your hair done for it?! Thick hair is a beautiful blessing - don’t listen to that hairdresser. You can and will find someone better, and I don’t think you should have that stress (of doing your hair yourself) the day of the wedding. If $$ is an issue, have your sister suggest to a close aunt or something that instead of getting you a gravy boat, paying for the hair would be a lovely gift. I’m just brainstorming for you - wish I knew some people to call for recommendations. Chin up - you looked beautiful in the pictures - but you are right, your hair can (and will) be much fuller, more vintagey - than what the unimaginative stylist did.
You’re CLEARLY not convinced that you like it and it sounds to me like you’re trying to find excuses to say it’s sufficient. But find another stylist. I think s/he’s making lame excuses for not being skilled at updos and working with various hair textures and types. Keep searching. You’ll be happier about it come wedding day!
Hello!
First of all, you look gorgeous with that style but falling-out styles a couple of hour later is so not acceptable.
I know time is short BUT I have a suggestion. I have recently found a hairstylist (I live in Vancouver) who is so amazing. She is doing my hair for my wedding, is incredibly sweet (and talented!) and she travels to wherever you need her for no charge as she works for herself.
Her website is: http://www.campbeautysalon.com/
Just a thought…good luck!
Get a new salon and stylist. I had a similar experience with the first place I had a trial at - the woman wouldn’t consider my “first choice” style, and she didn’t listen to what I wanted (no big-time curls, just waves). I ended up with huge cascading curls and a frown on my face when I left. She also made a lot excuses as to why I couldn’t have my first choice style. Needless to say, I went elsewhere and found a willing stylist who actually listened!
Any salon that won’t listen, or tries to deter you from what *you* want does not deserve your business on such an important day. Good luck!
I had a similar hair style that was beautiful in the back but if you couldnt see it under the veil it lost a lot. What my hair stylist ended up doing to avoid that was attaching my veil underneath the bun/gathered part in back, so that it then hung down below my hair so you could see all the beautiful work she had done. It worked great since I didnt have a blusher (which I am not sure if you have or not). So that might be something to consider if you are not loving the veil over the hair idea.
I would say at all costs avoid going back to that salon, you do look very nice they could have done a much better job for you and made you much happier. See if you can have another hair trial somewhere else, I know it’s tempting to say maybe I will just do my own hair, but I would say give it one more shot with a different salon so that you dont have the added stress on the wedding day of trying to do your own hair, that is time for you to sit back and relax and drink Mimosas.
hi! i think if you don’t like the hair, you should try something else… I have a list of hairstylists in vancouver that my photographer recommended to me. msg me if you want the list!
“because my hair was thick, she couldn’t do as nice as an up-do as she wanted”
WTH??? That’s the LAMEST excuse I’ve ever heard! As Pom pointed out above, thin-haired peeps (like yours truly) have to ADD hair to make it THICK enough to style!
Looks like the ladies upthread have offered you some good suggestions. Find a stylist that will make you FEEL as pretty as you ARE.
And just my two cents, but think about putting your reception veil UNDER your updo b/c you may find you want to remove it as the night goes on— people hugging you will tend to catch it and jerk your head back in the process— and that way your updo wouldn’t be mussed by the veil.
Also…. check out yelp.com to see reviews of hairstylists in the area!
Here’s how to get the sidesweep!
I have the same hair line as you and I do the side sweep everytime I pull my hair back.
Step One: Part your (dry) hair normal
Step Two: Use your right hand and use your fingers as a comb at the top of your head over your left eye
Step Three: Pull the hair straight forward (like a bad combover) covering your nose and right eye
Step Four: Brush only the hair that is actually in your face (and not the roots)
Steps Five: Tuck it behind your ear and the secure all hair into a pony tail making sure never to touch the roots of the “comb over”
It looks silly the first few times you try but once you get the hang of it you can do it lickity split. For a good example of what I mean by pulling the hair forward look at pictures of Nicole Richie because she too has a similar hairline!
You are beautiful, but that hair is just kinda blah… and she blamed your HAIR?! WTH? The back is really neat, but you’re right that nobody would see it. I’m sorry that you spent so much money, but I’m sure you can find somebody to make it look just the way you want it to. GOOD LUCK!
I love it! I only hope my hair looks as great as yours on my wedding day! Honestly.
Oh, Miss Shortie, you are beautiful! Man, I wish I had your facial structure. And skin tone.
The hair does look nice, but… I agree with you, it’s definitely a little meh. It seems you got saddled with a lazy stylist! I hope you have luck finding somewhere new that will do your hair the way you want it, sans excuses.
On a side note, did you notice in one of the pictures there is a poster next to you that says “Cheer Up” - how fitting, and too bad the spa couldn’t do that for you!
Good luck! I’m thinking “good hair thoughts” for you!
First off, you are very pretty so stop feeling “fugly”!
Second, I agree the hair is nice but not “wedding special”. The whole your hair is thick so can’t have volume is a joke, I have the thickest hair imaginable and I get lots of volume. I’d keep looking, you want a stylist that will make you feel like a Queen on your special day.
Good luck! 
Awww…don’t feel bad. Your story is exactly the same as mine. Worse, not only did my mom react the exact same way as yours, but so did my fiance. Not the reaction I was going for! Also, my hair, which looked very similar to yours, came out within an hour. I had the trial on the same day as my engagement shots. My wedding day, I just winged it with a different hair style which lasted and looked perfect! Maybe a trial is overrated?
That hairstylist doesn’t know what she’s doing! Find somebody that actually likes their job!
Other than that…please…you look GREAT! don’t put yourself down.
I prefer you with your hair down. From your pics in past blogs, I think it is a shame to hide your beautiful dark hair up in some over-done “uber” bun. Even considering your theme, there are ways to do you hair in that preppy 50’s style you are going for. Maybe half-up, half-down would be better? Sorry to play devil’s advocate here and I’m sorry your first hair trial didn’t go as well as you hoped.
Thanks everyone! You sure know how to make a girl feel boo-ti-ful! :D@Mrs. SKI: I like my hair better down as well - but it’s only shoulder length right now and curls would shorten it further. As well, I want to dance like a crazy maniac, and I’ve seen too many down-dos that deflate super early! Thank you though, I’ll definitely try out a half up half down do!
I had a hair trial with my youngest sister, who works in a hair salon, and even her first updo on my was seven million times better! I think I might just stick with her - but if not, I’ll definitely using all of your recommendations, ladies! Thank you so so so much!!
I think we have pretty similar hair texture, judging from the pictures — and I have THICK hair, and LOTS of it. I was able to get some poof on top for my wedding without any problems, and get all my hair up. If you want a picture of how mine was done (and it LASTED — the day of my trial, I was exhausted so I slept on it — it looked EXACTLY THE SAME the next morning, so I just wore it to my shower!), let me know.
Hey just get your hair thinned out a bit. I have super thick hair and I always get mine thinned. Less weight and works wonders with styling.
Oh man! If you have thick hair and can’t have volume, then me and my thin hair have been lied to for several years! I have thin hair and ZERO volume, BECAUSE I have thin hair. This lady you went to was clearly smoking something. Find someone else… but of course you look gorgeous, but if you’re not happy, and not getting what you want, then that’s all that matters. And your own elastics? Come on!
Firstly, I think you’re beautiful too.
Secondly, blaming your hair for her incompetence? Seriously?
Please don’t be put off by one bad experience. A professional will be able to do a lot with your hair… this chick was a cowboy!
My hairdresser once told me that saying “your hair is too thick” is like saying “you can have too much money” hee! In other words, it’s never too much!
When I get a stylist or hair dresser that complains about the thickness of my hair, I never return. Sounds like she doesn’t know how to work with your type of hair, so maybe you should look elsewhere.
I just had my trial this past weekend too and it came out beautiful but it all fell out within two hours as well!!! wtf… gotta figure out what to do myself, now.
Ditto, you’re GORG!
But as for the up-do I think you’re right to be disappointed, I think the girl either half-arsed it or has no business doing up-dos. I know this doesn’t help b/c you are still no closer to finding someone to do your hair, but perhaps you could call the salon and tell them about your diappointment and have someone else do your hair for your wedding… and then when you go in there, don’t take no for an answer and spray the crwap out of it when she is finished!
| Visit our sister sites | Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Fertile Thoughts Infertility Support |
Mrs. Shortcake, Vancouver
Age and Occupation: 24, Marketing Manager/Children's Lit Writer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Master's Student/Personal Trainer
Engagement Date: August 7, 2007
Wedding Date: October 2008
Blogging Since:
Venue: Ceremony in a historic church, tented lawn reception at a golf and country club
About Me: 1950's housewife sent to the future, reborn as crafting-obsessed, jill of all trades. I enjoy decorating, writing, baking sweet things, singing show tunes/dancing in public, wearing pearls, and knitting sweaters for my furbaby, Harvey, to chew upon. I heart pink, and believe that sparkles are the new black.
| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
| 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |
| 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 |
| 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |
| 29 | 30 |
Latest Gallery Pics