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Mrs. Corn, Newport, RI Age and Occupation in '07: 31, HR for public accounting firm Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Consultant for public accounting firm Engagement Date: October 7, 2006 Wedding Date: September, 2007 Blogging Since: June 1, 2007 Venue: North Lawn of Fort Adams State Park About Me: I am a lazy scrapbooker who loves the instant gratification of making cards and I am very easily distracted by all things shiny. In honor of my childhood nights spent hibachi BBQing on the beach with my family, we are hosting a traditional New England Clambake for our reception.
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The Alternate To Being Given Away

June 16th, 2008 @ 1:18 pm by Mrs. Corn

It doesn’t surprise me that many people think that the whole ‘who gives this woman to this man’ part of the ceremony is antiquated and chauvinistic. But there are other alternatives.

Below is the wording from our ceremony supplemented by the choreography we worked out. Hopefully it will help someone out there…

*Processional (everyone walked down the aisle, the last of which was me escorted by my dad who remained standing with us at the ‘altar’)
*Statement of the Gift of Marriage
*Prayer (the ‘congregation’ sat at this point)

Declarations of Intent
Davis, understanding that God has created, ordered and blessed the covenant of marriage,
do you affirm your desire and intention to enter this covenant. I do.

Miriam, understanding that God has created, ordered and blessed the covenant of marriage, do you affirm your desire and intention to enter this covenant. I do.

Affirmation of the Family & Friends
Guy and Karen (Davis’ parents), do you give your blessing to Davis and Miriam, and promise to do everything in your power to uphold them in their marriage? I do.

Marty and Peg (my parents), do you give your blessing to Davis and Miriam, and promise to do everything in your power to uphold them in their marriage? I do. (my dad was still standing with us at this point, so my mom stood up at her seat and they both said, individually, ‘I do’.)

And do you, the witnesses to this union, give your blessing to Davis and Miriam, and promise to do everything in your power to uphold them in their marriage? We do. (at this point, my dad joined Davis’ and my hands together, gave me a quick peck on the cheek, sat down next to my mom and the ceremony continued)

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5 Responses to “The Alternate To Being Given Away”

1.
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Miss Cookie (message)  784 posts, Busy bee

Mr. Cookie and I are doing the exact same “giving away” wording. I felt very uncomfortable about the notion of being “given away,” so this was a perfect alternative for us!

 
2.
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jenniferb (message)  168 posts, Blushing bee

I am leaving in the given away part, but having my parents answer with this: “she gives of herself freely, with our love and support.” I really love the sentiment of support in your parents blessings though!

 
3.
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SRH

mhmm, don’t get me started about this part of the ceremony. . . it was my least favorite part ;).

 
4.
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yiska (message)  176 posts, Blushing bee

It is common in Jewish weddings for both parents to walk their children down the aisle. It’s still a sort of “giving away” but words like that are not said. I think when you see a father walking down the aisle, “delivering” his daughter to another man.. it smacks much more heavily of the idea of the transfer of property, etc…

 
5.
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Mar

Mrs. Corn, I have a few questions, could I email you? Or would you email me???

 


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Mrs. Corn
Mrs. Corn Mrs. Corn, Newport, RI Age and Occupation in '07: 31, HR for public accounting firm Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Consultant for public accounting firm Engagement Date: October 7, 2006 Wedding Date: September, 2007 Blogging Since: June 1, 2007 Venue: North Lawn of Fort Adams State Park About Me: I am a lazy scrapbooker who loves the instant gratification of making cards and I am very easily distracted by all things shiny. In honor of my childhood nights spent hibachi BBQing on the beach with my family, we are hosting a traditional New England Clambake for our reception.
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