Wedding Blog
After dating for a good 6 months, we were in love. Mr. Pomegranate and I were in that giddy state of mind where we JUST KNEW that we’d be together forever. But, marriage? It hadn’t even crossed my mind.
On occasion, we’d entertain our friends at Mr. Pom’s fantastic apartment, complete with a barbecue on the patio overlooking a grand cityscape. This particular party included my best friend (who is now my MOH), one of Mr. Pom’s best friends and his current girlfriend (who I will refer to as Girlfriend), and one of Mr. Pom’s co-workers. We were all having a great time, with Mr. Pom’s co-worker cooking us a fabulous meal of steak and asparagus, drinks mixed by Mr. Pom’s best friend and lots of joking and laughing.
At one point, MOH, the Girlfriend and I all headed out to the patio for some girl talk and privacy. The Girlfriend proceeded to tell me all of the wonderful things Mr. Pom had said about me during a recent lunch she had attended. I was all blushing and awww’s in my embarrassment - until she stammered that she, “wasn’t sure if she should say something.” To which my MOH annoyedly added, “If you’re not sure if you should say something, then you probably shouldn’t say it.”
The Girlfriend, ignoring my MOH’s remarks, continued on to tell me the elaborate plans that Mr. Pom had conceived to ask my hand in marriage. I was in complete shock! His plans were incredible: a balloon ride in wine country where suddenly a plane would fly by with the banner stating, “Will you marry me, Miss Pomegranate?” How could anyone think of anything so over-the-top and just for ME?!
An example airplane banner from Mr. Pom’s first too-perfect proposal plan.
The Girlfriend continued again, stating that she was telling me this because she, “wanted to be sure I had my dream proposal.” She stated that she had told Mr. Pomegranate that his idea was “just alright” so that she could come back to me and ask me what my dream proposal would be - and that she would tell him. I was in shock - both excited and heartbroken. To be honest, my dream proposal simply involved one thing: a surprise. My MOH left in a mad storm, I oblivious in my buzzed stupor, while the subject changed to something else and we chit-chatted throughout the night.
I woke up the next morning filled with dread. I could NOT let Mr. Pom continue on with his elaborate plans without knowing his surprise engagement had been spoiled. After speaking with my MOH regarding the whole situation, I found out that she already knew of the proposal as he had involved her in some of the pre-planning. She was livid at Girlfriend for spoiling everything. I knew at that moment that Mr. Pom needed to be told what had happened - there was only one person to tell him and that was me.
I called him right up and sheepishly told him what had happened the night before. It broke his heart. He was so incredibly upset that he couldn’t talk to me on the phone for a few hours. He called up his best friend and explained to him the horrible act that Girlfriend had committed. She apologized profusely, but at this point nothing could be done.
It took months for this to resolve in our relationship. Before, I had no expectations or “bar” to hold Mr. Pom to. Now, I felt as though he didn’t love me or want to be with me if he didn’t propose. This was, of course, horrible for Mr. Pom as he now could never follow through on the previous plans - and could never “out do” himself with a better proposal.
I beg to differ. Over a year later from the failed proposal plans, he tried again. His proposal was perfect in every way and I wouldn’t have had him change a thing. In fact, I’m glad we waited another year - it cemented in my heart that he was, in fact, the one. This final engagement story will be shared at a later time.
How about you, readers? Have any of you spoiled a friend’s engagement - or possibly even your own proposal plans?
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Share this post: The Spoil
Whoa, SUCH a teaser! I’m on the edge of my seat, Pom-pom. 
I spoiled my own proposal. After 6 years all I could think about was being engaged so I talked about it nonstop. Apparently there were several occasions where FI was about to propose but I opened my big mouth and started giving him tips/ideas/suggestions so he didn’t do it. That drew out the process by an extra 6 months. BUT–I learned my lesson and now FI is ready for babies and I never had to say a word!
I cannot believe some people. She obviously knew she shouldn’t say anything. Who does that? Honestly. I am glad it all worked out in the end!
Our proposal was nearly spoiled by a certain someone who is now a former friend. He was the only person to know about Mr. P’s plans. Because of this man, who is thankfully no longer part of our lives, the magic of the moment was still there but just a bit different than it would have been. Neither Mr. P nor myself have ever told anyone what happened, and we never will. Hopefully, I will forget about him someday.
In the end, Mr. P’s proposal was still wonderful because he asked me to be his wife.
My Dad spoiled my proposal!! Long story, but basically my boyfriend called and asked my dad for his blessing but somehow forgot to remind him that it would be a surprise. My Dad then proceeds to leave a message on my phone saying “B called, and he tells me something really romantic is going to happen this weekend, congratulations.” Uh hello??!?! I was devastated, but knew I had to tell him if I didn’t want all the fun sucked out of it. So I did, and in the end, my guy and my roommate conspired to effect a true surprise proposal (and didn’t tell my Dad this time)! It was actually within the same weekend, so I didn’t have to wait very long, but I’m glad that your story worked out in the end!
our waiter spoiled the proposal. he was so nervous that it was obvious. it was funny though.
I almost spoiled my own proposal — but it totally wasn’t my fault! My FI and I had planned for a few months to go to our favorite B&B, and he was planning to propose while we were there. But shortly after our arrival, I came down with a case of food poisoning. I’ll spare the gross details, suffice it to say I was violently ill all night, and shaky and weak and not at all myself the next morning.
My poor FI was wondering if he should postpone the proposals, but he had managed to sneak 2 dozen roses and a bottle of champagne along on the trip without me noticing, and decided to go for it that afternoon when I showed signs of perking up. My stomach still felt a little funny, but I’m so glad he didn’t wait!! Besides, as one of my bridesmaids said when she heard our story, him tending me during the night while I was sick is actually pretty romantic.
Is Girlfriend invited to the wedding? Best to keep surprises away from her. Can’t wait to hear about the proposal!
Wow, what a dumb cow. Fancy CHOOSING to ruin someone’s surprise plans like that. If it just slips out, that’s one thing, but actually going, “I’ve thought about this, and I’m going to tell Miss Pom and ruin Mr Pom’s surprise”…that is not cool.
A friend of mine was waiting ages for her husband to propose. One night at dinner she got fed up and said, “Shall I just propose to you, then?” He got all agitated and said, “Just give me time!” and ten minutes later the waiter arrived with the drinks and he proposed - he had planned it all along. Talk about bad timing on her part!
What a WENCH!!!!! (Choice of word to “bee” clean cause I can come up with a few more!!!) I hope that there is an “ex” in front of her “Girlfriend” title because not only is that a horrid thing to do, it also shows that she is SO desperate to be liked and attention greedy that no one’s secrets would ever be safe.
Ok, well now I am dying to hear how he outdid himself!
Wow that is awful!! I can never imagine, the nerve of some people!! That is so blatently disrespectful!
FI didn’t tell anyone for that reason, he was worried it would somehow slip out–he even asked my dad at the last minute, since he’s been known to be bad at secrets!
Im happy it all worked out for you in the end, my FI had an “elaborate” plan at first–but that fell thru, but I love my proposal just the same–I think what matters is that its the person you want to spend the rest of your life with asking you to spend there life with them–nothign gets better than that You and i have the same engagment day, a special thursday I can’t wait to hear your story!!!
@misschickie: & @Katharine: It’s great to hear these stories, as someone on the brink of being prosposed to (FH and I are talking about the where and when of the wedding, but it’s not official yet) I need to be patient and not ruin it
I can’t believe the nerve of Girlfriend!
I almost spoiled ours, because I am too curious for my own good! 
We were out running errands, and instead of turning in the direction of home, FH turned out to my old university, and I was all “but whyyyy are we going out there?” Then I tried to get him to tell me where on campus we were going so I could give him directions when he got lost. It ended up being totally unlike anything I would have guessed, and very “us”. I’m glad I eventually shut up and listened, and let HIM ask a question or two!
yes, trying to be patient and not ruin it, too!
My college roomie had her mom spoil it. The BF called the mom to ask permission. He was going to propose the next day on their vacation, but the mom instantly called my roomie to “start planning”…UGH! I think my roomie played along, though, which in some ways I think is nicer if you know it won’t get back to him…
My dad spilled the beans too.
We were at my parent’s house to see their new puppy. I went to take the puppy for a walk. While I was gone my FI took the opportunity to my dad for his blessing. When I came back in from the walk I didn’t even have a chance to take my coat off before my dad yelled from across the house “I hear you’re getting engaged soon. Congratulations.” Followed by a embarrassed moan from my mom.
I responded “I don’t think you were supposed to tell me that.” My dad responded with “it’s just too exciting to keep quiet.” My FI was upset and so was I at first but in the end it was kind of cute that he was so excited about us getting married.
My FI and I had bought a house together and moved in a year before, so I knew it was coming. He still made me wait though and did end up being able to surprise me with a breakfast in bed proposal a few months later.
My husband slightly spoiled ours! About a month before we got engaged, we were out in Colorado visting some friends. Hubby had a little too much to drink that night. At some point the conversation turned to being “grown ups” (we were all still in college at the time) and the things it came with, marriage, kids, careers. Hubby let it slip that he was planning to propose to me by my birthday, only a month and a half away. I knew it was coming, but the actual event was still a surprise.
I almost spoiled ours when I saw an email between FH and my sister. I asked what in the world was he emailing her for and it turns out that he needed her phone number so he could call and ask HER permission to marry me, in addition to my parents.
And I cannot IMAGINE someone doing something like Girlfriend. I honestly don’t think I could ever see her in the same light again. Common sense people!!
I’m glad you ended up getting what you wanted. If you want revenge still, however, we’re in the same town and I know people who know people who can ‘take care’ of GIRLFRIEND for you.
I also spoiled my initial proposal by saying “the way you’re behaving makes me think you might be proposing”…this delayed the process for a couple of months. BOO! it’s really tough to surprise me because i can read him like a book. my final proposal wasn’t AS romantic, but he surprised the crap out of me…which is he best gift ever!
OH. MY GOD.
I seriously CANNOT believe this girlfriend. HOLY CRAP.
This has got to be why Mr. HB led everyone to believe the proposal would be many months in the making - and completely surprised me. I knew he had talked with my folks, but I also know he takes his time to do things “just right,” so when he popped the Q about 2 weeks after talking to my parents, I was totally not expecting it - and neither was anyone else!
I can’t believe Girlfriend’s nerve. Did she have some kind of beef with Mr. Pom? Or was she jealous? Why would she do that?
I can’t believe that! I would have been soooo upset if someone spoiled my proposal! My fiance was very cautious of who he told..which was really only my dad..then my dad told my mom once we were on the plane (which he suprised me with a trip to NYC!) So, i was totally suprised and all my friends were just as suprised and excited…it was fun!
This is the second time I’ve heard this story from you and it still makes me livid.
What. A. Presumptuous. BEYOTCH.
CHERRY PIE SMAAAASHHHH.
Wow! I had no idea there were so many of you out there who’ve experienced the now infamous “spoiled proposal.”
@Mrs. Bee: Too funny Bee! I bet that makes for some funny fond memories.
@jen: More on the topic of “Girlfriend coming to the wedding” later.
@AliCherri1: Yes, this is definitely encouragement for those of you out there who are waiting for the big moment. Be patient - it’s worth the wait.
@Miss Green Tea: BUAHAHAA! Silly GT.
@mhb: I think she knew better - but who knows?
This sounds sort of silly and overdramatic. It’s about a MARRIAGE, not a proposal. Priorities.
And that is why women invented the b**** slap.
@Katharine: That is TOOOOO FUNNY!!!
My fiance did not ask my dad before proposing, and I thought it was kind of odd. But now that I’m reading everyone’s “my dad spoiled the surprise” posts I completely understand why. My dad would have DEFINITELY let the cat out of the bag, and it would have made me VERY angry. I love surprises, and FI tried really hard to surprise me (and he did!)
My dad spoiled it for me. We don’t live near my family, so FH took the one opportunity he’d have to ask my dad in person, my sister’s wedding day.
Five minutes after he asked my dad’s permission, I get a call from my dad and he sounds like he’s weepy. “congratulations honey. i’m so happy for you.” i thought he meant to call my sister. I asked FH about it and he denied and denied but I was suspicious. Then, in the limo on the way to church my stepmom tells me that FH had asked my dad’s permission that morning.
Seriously. If I had been the one to spoil my sister’s proposal I would have been outcast. But it was okay for them to ruin mine.
(My dad also called my mom to say “Hey he asked my permission!” To which my mom replied, “Yeah, he asked me two weeks ago but I know how to keep my mouth shut.”)
FH ended up waiting 9 months after that debacle to propose so I would get caught off guard.
Please tell me she’s no longer your friend. That is beyond messed up.
what a BEYOTCH!! I would have been livid! Is she still in the pic? I hope not!
@Angela: The thing is, a proposal is supposed to be a romantic gesture. If you take the surprise out of it, then the romance is all but lost. Although I think that it’s a mistake for people to focus all of their energy on wedding planning without ever thinking of the actual marriage, you can’t get married unless you get engaged first, and that moment when the person you love most in the world asks you to spend the rest of your life with them? That’s SUPPOSED to be romantic. I would’ve been crushed if this happened to me.
Ugh, the nerve!! What kinda friend does that???
@Angela- I think this also has to do with principal and trust issues. If a friend tells you a secret - you keep it that way. He obviously told Girlfriend because he trustED her not to say a world to Miss POM.. And this wasn’t like a teeny weeny secret… this was about an event that happens only once in your life…
I almost ruined my proposal by not showing up! Later that night, I burst into tears multiple times thinking of what I would have missed out on if I’d stayed late at work instead of meeting up with then-boyfriend.
PS. My dad kept the secret for months!
@ Miss Pom - sounds to me like she either wanted the spotlight or she was jealous and wanted to ruin it. If she really had your best interests at heart, she would have kept her mouth shut. I mean, who WOULDN’T have been thrilled with that kind of set-up??? Duh.
As for me… one day I told my boy that I was going down to Seattle with a guy from work to go shopping. He kept saying, what, you don’t want to go with ME? And I laughed and said, oh what a liar you are, you love that you don’t have to go and get dragged around from store to store! Which normally would have been the case… except that weekend he had planned an elaborate romantic getaway to Seattle to pop the question. I totally spoiled his plans without even knowing.
I ALMOST spoiled mine for myself.
My fiance and I had been talking about if for months but he kept telling me he just didn’t have any money saved and so I was thinking it was going to be pretty far off. I would tell him when I would go look at rings with my girlfriends and he’d roll his eyes… little did I know he had already picked out and purchased my ring!!!
I am kinda nosey by nature. I especially love to read people’s text messages. So one day he left his cell phone on the coffee table while he was changing in the other room, and I picked it up and started perusing his recent texts. I didn’t find anything of interest other than questions from his employees of when they were scheduled to work, so I was setting it down when my FI walked back in the room and FREAKED OUT. I quickly set the phone down, and he asked me what I had read. I told him nothing of interest, b/c I honestly hadn’t found anything I thought was interesting! He immediately grabbed the phone and started pressing buttons.
I later found out there was a text in there between he and his sister saying he had bought the ring and when he was going to ask me!
SO glad I didn’t read it- I totally could have ruined the whole thing! I’ve learned not to be nosey anymore…
on the Girlfriend note: seriously. i would scream at her. i’m easily annoyed but hardly angry but that would have constituted some very un-christian-like behavior from me. i’m in awe of your “oblivious in my buzzed stupor” because i would have just been MAD. oh, it makes me MAD just thinking of it.
oh, but the irony of this. it makes me want to give boyfriend another proposal instruction, something along the lines of: “please, do not under any circumstance tell a single soul before you actually do it”. thus far that list inclusdes “suprise me! suprise me!” and “don’t you dare take me somplace in front of any other soul and embarass me. you know me better than that, right? yes, duh. ok then” i’ve got to stop or my nosey/controlling tendencies will ruin it if the day (ever… ever…) comes.
oh and at jessica.. .i too, am guilty of text purusing.
*someplace
*perusing
damn my tired eyes.
WOW, I would have beat the living cr*p out of her! Your best friend should’ve stopped her…but’s all in the past now…I bet your engagement story is sweet!
Since GIRLFRIEND does not know you well she shouldn’t have said anything. It was not her place to tell you PLUS it was meant to be a surprise. I totally understand if you got mad. I can’t wait to hear your story though.
Just like Sam (above) my FI surprised me with a trip to NYC. Everybody knew he was taking me their for my birthday but only my immediate family and his knew about the proposal. He even told the sister who has a hard time keeping a secret! I would’ve been mad at her if she told me.
Umm..okay, I guess I can see those points. I just thought all the “beeyotch”es and “cherry pies to the face” seemed a little much.
Great post - can’t wait to hear about the real proposal!
I kinda spoiled my proposal… I was pretty sure one day he’d been out to pick up my engagement ring, so I checked his pockets and sure enough there it was. Oops!
He doesn’t know, though, and I acted surprised when he asked me
What a brat! I’m sorry that happened to you! It sounds like you handled it with grace and charm, though, so good for you! I can’t wait to hear how the new proposal went!
UGH THIS STORY MAKES ME SO MAD!! What was WRONG with Girlfriend?!?! What a jerk!
I spoiled mine a little bit too - one morning I was doing laundry, he was still sleeping, I emptied out his pockets and found the receipt for the ring. The delivery date was two weeks away, two days AFTER we were scheduled to leave for a 3 week vacation, so I convinced myself that it clearly wouldn’t be happening on the trip and put it out of my head. Two weeks later on our first night in Portugal I was looking through his backpack for something and found the box (I’ve never actually admitted this part of the story to him). So actually I kind of spoiled it twice. Even after all that, though, I was still surprised when he actually proposed, so that was nice.
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Mrs. Pomegranate, Sacramento
Age and Occupation: 27, Technical Specialist
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Software Engineer
Engagement Date: August 23, 2007
Wedding Date: October, 2008
Blogging Since: June 5, 2008
Venue: R.H. Phillips Winery
About Me: Hi, I'm Miss Pomegranate and I'm a shopaholic. I have a weak spot for the chic cheap - especially anything I can re-create on the DIY. Shoes are my vice, music is my passion in life and technology is the medium by which I live and work. When I'm not scoping out a sale, I'm spending my quality time training for a marathon, playing Wii with my fiance and snuggling with my Silver Labrador and Teacup Panther - and oh yeah, planning my wedding!
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