Wedding Blog
Next month will mark one year since our engagement, and I am tired people. I am tired. Just a few weeks ago I was writing about all the little decisions driving me bananas and suddenly, I don’t care anymore. I think I’ve lost the will to plan.
It must be some sort of phenomenon that work gets exponentially busier as your wedding gets closer. I am swamped, I am exhausted, and therefore all the little things just don’t matter as much anymore. It’s not that I just don’t care, it’s more that the importance I placed on all of it is starting to fade a little. I am just ready to get on with this thing. I am ready to be married.
What if the flowers aren’t the same shade of green as the ties? As long as everyone dresses themselves and shows up, we’ll be fine. Those linens you picked out, what if we don’t have them anymore? Find me a close alternative and call it a day. We have to move the rehearsal dinner to another room, is that alright? As long as there is still food and booze, we’ll be fine. What if I put potato chips in your hair and charge you for two bobby pins worth of work? Then I’ll just do my hair myself, thank you 
At the end of the day, as long as everyone makes it there safely and I am able to say “I do” I am a happy girl. Are any of you experiencing this? Is it easier for you to just let things go as the wedding gets closer? Or do I just need a really long nap?
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Sorry you’re feeling burnt out Miss Sundae. You said it best, as long as everyone gets to your wedding safely and you say “I do” to the man of your dreams, that’s all that will matter. Wedding planning can be a bit stressful especially because the bride is usually the one planning out the details. Take some time out for yourself to unwind. Perhaps a massage, silly girls night out, yoga anything non-wedding related will hopefully restore some peace of mind. Everything will be great and you will look amazing!
I am glad to know I’m not alone! I feel the same way and there are still so many details to confirm. I feel like every time I make one decision five more pop up to take its place.
Hang in there.
I’m definitely feeling the same way. We’re 3 weeks away from our wedding and instead of feeling last minute panic, mostly I’m like “the big stuff is in place, and everything else is insignificant.” It’s so liberating!
I’m right there with you! The closer it gets, I don’t want to do anymore work, I just want to be married and celebrate. It’s almost here though, just remember that! We are THISCLOSE to our wedding days!
That is EXACTLY how I have been feeling for a while now, don’t feel bad! I am about 3 weeks away from my wedding and I am just over it…I can’t think about all the little details anymore, I am unwilling to take on new projects. I am just ready to be done with it and be married. I am still excited, because I know that day will be the best one of my life, even if some of the details don’t work out, because I will get to marry my man that day. I’ve adopted this relaxed attitude and I refuse to let it go, because I do not need to be any more stressed out than I naturally am. I totally feel you, girl!
We’re at T-113 days, and while I’m dutifully rounding corners on cardstock and embossing swirlies onto shiny envelopes, my heart isn’t in it. And it’s not that I’m worried about the marriage! Sure, a large part of my reticence is because I feel like I’ve been let down my my Church - it’s like I’ve got my wonderful fiance, but without (the Catholic presence of) God, something is still missing. The worst part is, now that I don’t want to plan any more, there are more responsibilities on my list.
I feel EXACTLY the same way. At first I felt guilty and nervous that it was the sign of something bad.. But I’ve realized that I never really LOVED the planning to start with (though I tried to convince myself that I did in fact love every little detail) and now I’m just getting more comfortable with what the day is REALLY about: Getting to marry my best friend. I can suddenly see the beauty of eloping and small simple weddings. Hang in there!
Although I have not yet lost the will to plan, I just want to take a nap! Like you, my priorities at work have taken over my life, and I am just plain tired. Hang in there! The wedding will be here before you know it!
I know what you mean. I just don’t feel like it anymore! We’ve been engaged for almost a year and half and the wedding is still a month away. I keep finding myself rolling my eyes when people try to talk to me about the wedding or ask about the plans for “the big day”!
i can definitely empathize with that! at least congrats on the wedding almost being there and have fun!! and here’s a tiny bit of advice for those not yet engaged or have been shortly… i would suggest an engagement of 6-9 months. Weddings are so exciting and a lot to plan, but it really isn’t that hard to do in less than a year (unless you DIY on everything it’d be a little tougher I suppose!) My fiance and I will have been engaged for just over 6 months when we get married, and for me going longer would be tough. I got so excited about planning and getting married that waiting any longer would be tooo long and just wear me out! we’re both in college, too, and it really isn’t that hard to balance with schoolwork. trust me. Anyway, I certainly understand reasons for having a longer engagement, but I encourage couples to consider shorter as it is easier emotionally and a bit more exciting! any other opinions on that?
yes, we’ll be engaged about 7 mos…after reading the average engagement was 16 mos, and seeing most ladies on here, I was starting to worry about the short time…I know myself though, and TOO MANY options would present themselves and take over my life if I had a long engagement…thanks for the encouragement, love, and hand in there Miss Sundae!
This happened to me right before the wedding and it was actually good because (1) it helped me from feeling burned out and (2) it kept me from obsessing about little details right up until the last minute. So sometimes it can be a good thing– especially when it puts the event in perspective and reminds you that people are there to celebrate you two and probably won’t notice if there are monogrammed napkins and/or the table linens should have been a brighter color.
Ha! So funny I was telling my parents the same thing last night. We’ve been engaged for 15 months now and all details I was obsessing about are starting to get really overwhelming/annoying.
I think I agree with Mrs. Jasmine - its probably a blessing in disguise to just relax and go with the flow. you are so close, hang in there 
Yeah, I’ve lost the will to plan too. I’m kind of bored of planning, I just want the wedding now!
I think for some of us there is just a maximum of wedding stuff we can do and then we reach our fill.
Ohhh boy!!! I’m not the only one!!!! I guess its normal to feel this way. Thats exactly how I feel except, I don’t want anything anymore. Well then, lets just think of it as a big party and hang in there! Good luck and Congrats!
Haha, so true! We recently made up our to-do list for all the details for our wedding in 6 weeks. We took one look at it and started taking things off. We don’t want to spend all our free time planning the wedding! There are just all kinds of little things that just don’t matter enough to make the cut when you’re looking at a realistic schedule.
I am right there with you on this one. I have hit various stages of ‘ready for it just happen already’ though out the engagement but as I am now just over a month out I really really am ready for the wedding to just happen… so I can get on to married life! As much as I love the details- I am tired of thinking about them and fretting if everything will pull together.
Amen! I know how it is, after a almost 2 years of planning and 10 months to go. But, a nap is always recommended, regardless. 
I totally got the exact same way at my one year mark. After that point it just didn’t matter any more if the bridesmaids gowns were slightly different shades of brown or if the table linens weren’t *exactly* what we ordered.
Talk with your FI and pick a day of the week to be declared Wedding Free (we did Wedding Free Wednesdays) and then stick to it. Watch TV, read a book, go to an art gallery or just cuddle up on the couch and don’t talk or think about the wedding all day. It was a HUGE stress reliever for me and I found it a lot easier to get stuff done the rest of the week when I had WFW to look forward to.
I feel exactly the same way! And our wedding is also in September… I think it’s because all the excitement & newness has worn off, and the remaining planning just seems like details & work.
But I keep telling myself the same thing you do. That and no guest is going to pour over the details like I do, so don’t sweat the small things
The planning process is so full of little details that seem beyond infinite. I laughed at your post, and yes, take as many naps as you can! Just a bit of advice…make sure you have everything that’s super important to you taken care of. I got so burned out with all of the little details, that I missed some things that I really wished I wouldn’t have and now three months later I cringe when I see certain pictures!
LOL @ What if I put potato chips in your hair and charge you for two bobby pins worth of work? Then I’ll just do my hair myself, thank you = giggle @ work
Yes, I had the same thing. I didn’t want to plan about 2 months ago. Now with a month left I’m in hyper mode. Take a nap. This will pass. It never does. it’s no big deal.
I feel you on that hon. I mean, honestly, it’s all going to turn out fabulous - so losing the will to plan is just fine. You deserve a break. Hang in there!
You’re all the best! This makes me feel so much better, and so much less of a “bad bride” since I am not the only one. Hope you all have a great weekend
The funny thing is - thats the way i’ve been since the beginning! We have enough to time really be laid back. Since we have the time, i’ve done a lot of searching for things I’d like best (the right color company for my BMs etc), but the reality has been - if I woke up tomorrow and they said - you have to decide this NOW - ok - whatever - pick something pretty please. Tablecloths? Whats wrong with white? We’ll have some pretty flowers in the middle right? (To which my mother almost had a conniption fit.) Here’s the annoying thing - everyone keeps saying that IM being picky! HA! I know what I’ll be wearing - He will be in his uniform - we know the priest whos presiding, and have picked a cool location - and we’ve booked a rockin photographer (www.raelaytham.com) - other than that - nothing is going to make or break the wedding. If the mom’s match or clash - not my issue. If the cake aint grand - dont care as long as it tastes good. yet still - “michelle’s so picky!” - ha.
Maybe it’s because we have the same wedding date, or maybe it’s because the last few weeks have been especially hectic/stressful for me, but I am definitely feeling the same way. I am EXHAUSTED and I can’t seem to feel caught up with all the stuff on my growing to-do list. We have been engaged for 16 months and I keep wondering — what have I been DOING this whole time if I have so much left to do????
Two weeks to go and I definitely have WEDDING OVERLOAD!! I’m totally sick of thinking of all the little details. I keep thinking about past weddings I’ve been to and realize I barely remember what the table looked like, what the favors were, the program, was there one? blah, blah, blah….. let it be july, 5th already!
It’ll come back… you probably just need to take a step back for a couple of days.
But the perspective it’s giving you is great so I’d just go with it!
I’m feeling the same way, but I’m further away than ever from our wedding day. After 8mos of planning, we had to postpone by a year. We were supposed to be married Sept 08 and have now put it off to Sept 09. For various reasons, we’ve also had to spend nearly all of our wedding money (which wasn’t loads to begin with) and now have a miniscule ‘budget’ left. It’s pretty hard to get excited about planning again when I can’t afford to do anything I’d originally wanted to, but I know I need to get on booking stuff if we actually DO want to have a wedding next fall! Now I go back and forth between delaying further so we can save enough to replenish our original budget or just skipping everything but the piece of paper so that we can get on with our lives!!
[...] my occasional feelings of burnout, I am still crazy enough to take on tasks like this. I just can’t help myself! A few weeks ago, I [...]
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Mrs. Sundae, Chicago/Lake Geneva, WI
Age and Occupation: 28, Knowledge Manager
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Investment Advisor
Engagement Date: July 20, 2007
Wedding Date: September 2008
Blogging Since: February 5, 2008
Venue: The Abbey Resort
About Me: It’s hard to believe that by the time Mr. Sundae and I get married we will have been together for almost ten years. When we first met in college we split dollar pitchers and now we share the mortgage payments. Despite our love for the city we are looking forward to tying the knot in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin.
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