This weekend was a big wedding extravaganza at the Cookie household. On Friday we picked out Mr. Cookie’s tux and on Saturday my FFIL, FMIL, FSIL, my mom, Mr. Cookie, and myself went up to Breckenridge to look at Ten Mile. When Mr. Cookie and I toured the venue in November it was ski season – not only was the patio where we would get married buried under snow, but the dinning room was converted into a café for skiers. Now that all the snow had melted and ski session was over, we could get a better picture of what the location would look like on our wedding day. Also, none of our families had seen the location, so we made a nice little morning/afternoon out of the trek up to Breck.
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My to-do list grew exponentially during the trip, and I learned a lot about the venue as I watched them set-up for a wedding later that evening. Needless-to-say, I have a lot to blog about, but this post isn’t about our wedding weekend. Oh, no! This is a post about my realization that Mr. Cookie and I are getting married and what the wedding is doing to our relationship.
OMG, I am going to marry my best friend in 90 days! It’s really happening, I am getting married! I feel like a little, giddy girl filled with excitement and awe as my wedding is just t-minus 90 days away! That little girl that played dress-up in old bridesmaid’s dresses is now the bride!
But as my to-do list continues to grow, so has my anxiety about getting everything done. This anxiety of perfection has spilled into Mr. Cookie and my relationship, and the hard and sadder realization I made over the weekend was that I am getting lost in the details and losing sight of our relationship. Instead of the day being about the love that Mr. Cookie and I share, the day has become all about the creases in the linens, the number of candles, the perfect shade of blue, and a silver bow-tie. Suddenly, the love and laughter we shared is being replaced with fights over bow ties. Instead of our day it has become my day, and that makes me really sad!
So, I had to make a choice to let go of my grip on this wedding for the sake of our relationship. Although, I still need to buy more candles and coordinate better linens, I am making a commitment to put the day into perspective. Although a very important day, it is just a day. And I further realized that the most important thing about our wedding is not the details, but the commitment that we are making to one another — to spend the rest of my life with Mr. Cookie, and that is really what this day is really all about!
Cookie - I feel you! You said it perfectly — it was so sad when I started to realize that our day was turning into my day. I have a little over 90 days left and like you, I’m making a conscious effort to let go of the details (no one with notice or remember) and to focus on those things that make us happy, which is starting our life together as husband and wife…not what the flowers will look like, etc 
Add to your to-do list a periodic “non-wedding-related” day/evening/lunch with Mr. Cookie, like, once a week if you can swing it. Wedding talk is banned. Chatting about the honeymoon may be allowed, however.
We did this during the last two months before our wedding, and it was very, very valuable for both of us… we kept being reminded why we were planning the whole party in the first place.
Good luck!
Hang in there!
Beautifully put, Cookie. Brava!
I had no idea you were a Denver bride!! I’m a Denver bride as well!! I wish I could tie the knot in Breck, its beautiful up there!
Youre totally right. Trying to make it a joint effort and letting go of the small details will help!
Do u have a makeup artist yet? I do brides & wedding makeup as well as work for MAC Cosmetics. Let me know if you need anyone!
@tosha: Thank you for the offer Tosha, but I am doing my own make-up using MAC cosmetics. Due to my hairstylists schedule, pictures, and getting up to Breck I am on a tight schedule, so I decided to do it myself. Thanks!
Keep me updated on your wedding details!
[...] we decided to take a little trek up into the mountain to Breckenridge on Saturday. Like I said in yesterday’s post, when Mr. Cookie and I toured the venue in November it was ski season – not only was the patio [...]
Mrs. Cookie, Denver
Age and Occupation: 25, Nonprofit Fundraiser/Theatre Designer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Financial Analyst
Engagement Date: September 2007
Wedding Date: September 2008
Blogging Since: May 8, 2008
Venue: Ten Mile Station
About Me: With a degree in Theatre I never realized that planning a wedding was a lot like Theatre Management, until I started planning my own. I am a coffee addict, especially Starbucks' Grande Mochas, yummy! I love to cook (especially chocolate chip cookies for my honey), travel to exotic places, and be creative. As a couple, Mr. Cookie and I are extremely practical, down to earth, and children at heart. We live in a cozy abode with our adorable Pomeranian, and love to play board games and watch movies into the evening.
Yipee! How exciting!
I hope you’re to-do list has a few lines for “enjoy the moment”