Has it already been one year since our wedding? I can’t believe how time flies and imagine how life was so different back in my wedding planning days. Reflecting back I can’t imagine the countless hours I spent planning out all the details for one of the most special day of our lives. I’m quite grateful our wedding day was awesome, thanks to the support of my family, friends, and of course all the weddingbee readers!
Well, since our wedding, Mr Bell Pepper and I have been quite busy with work and recently Mr. Bell Pepper graduated from residency. You would think residency is the final stretch of education needed to become a physician, but the road keeps going if you want to specialize even further within your specialty. Mr. Bell Pepper took the longer route and in a few months he’ll be doing a one year fellowship 2 hours away from Philadelphia. The news is great because it definitely opens up a tremendous amount of job opportunities for Mr. Bell Pepper; the downside is that we have to go through the pain of a long distance relationship.. again.
I’m trying my best to think optimistically about our long distance relationship this time around. We survived a one year long distance relationship from Chicago to Philadelphia and this time the distance wouldn’t be as bad knowing that Mr. Bell Pepper and I can spend time together on weekends.
Something we’d love to look forward to is an anniversary trip to a romantic destination in the Carribean, South America or Europe. This year we celebrated our 1st anniversary in Funchal, Madeira, which is a tiny island located between Portugal and the northern region of Africa.
Our experience there was quite wonderful and so different from our honeymoon in Paris, and many thanks to all of our weddingbee readers, we chose the ultimate resort hotel to stay at during our trip. I’ll post about all the details of our trip next week. In the meantime here’s an Ameliesque (or Travelocitesque) highlight of our experience.
Has anyone experienced or is currently going through a long distance relationship? How are you handling the situation and do you plan anything to look forward to, such as spending time together over the weekends or a romantic destination?
Sorry to hear that you will be living apart again! I know we’ll be going through the same thing — we’re living apart now for his residency, and as I’m able to move where he is for a post-doc, he’ll be moving away for a fellowship. I feel like I’ll be playing catch-up for our entire married life. My goal is at some point, before our 5 year anniversary, to spend more than 6 months living under the same roof!
Happy anniversary!
the Boy and I did it for a year when I started grad school, and will probably have to do it again at some point once I finish 
I think that we did ok the first time, but I would definitely have set aside more time that was specifically ‘our’ time, whether that was a nightly/weekly phone call or weekends that we planned to meet up with each other. As it happened, we saw each other almost every six weeks, but that was more by circumstance (cousin’s wedding, Xmas, another wedding…) than us planning to do so.
Also.. Funchal! We went around mainland Portugal in ‘05 and I loved it. Have always planned on going to Madeira. Can’t wait to read more!
Hubby and I had to deal with my travel schedule (90% travel) for over a year when we first started dating. It was awful because I was often internationally & the time change made it so difficult to talk on the phone. (thank goodness for skype though - so cheap to call over the internet!)
I’m sure the time will fly by.
Becky
p.s. that last picture is amazing!
Hi Mrs. Bell Pepper!
I feel like I know you because I’m getting married at PAFA this November and I’ve mined all of your Weddingbee entries for their fabulous ideas.
I actually wrote a book about how to survive a long-distance relationship. I’ve been in three–#3 is my fiance :).
Here’s the link to the book:
http://www.quirkbooks.com/Book.aspx?BID=247
E-mail me your address offlist and I’m happy to send you a copy. It’s the least I can do in exchange for all the great ideas you’ve given me.
Caroline
FI and I have been doing the distance thing for the past four years and will finally be in the same city once we get hitched! However, we’re both going into medicine so we might have to face that again in the future.
We make sure to talk every night before bed and luckily see each other every weekend (we were 1.5 hrs apart for 3 years and now it’s 3 hrs). It also helps to send emails/texts throughout the day so you’re still a part of each other’s daily lives.
Good luck! The year will be over before you know it.
That Groom and I went through a year of long distance together, and 2 months before the wedding we will do it all over again when I move home to finish up loose ends. I bought some really adorable cards on Etsy, and I am planning on writing in them and labeling them for him to open each week while I am gone. Hopefully they help him get excited about passing the time away from each other!
Happy anniversary!
FH and I have been together for 5.5 years and 4 of those were long distance. We visited each other as often as possible, and made it a priority to talk to each other every day, even if only by text message or a 5 minute phone call. It was tough, but it really proved that we were each in this for the long haul.
@Julieulie: I love your “Diary of a Doctor’s Wife Episode 1″ post, are you planning to move to Philly? Depending on his residency, there’s a lot of fellowships in this area. Areas like NYC, Chicago, Texas have a lot of options. I’m considering a fellowship too but I’m afraid that might lead to another long distance relationship situation. My parents went through severals years being apart. My mom went through most of her pregnancy on her own and finally everything worked out in Chicago, right in time for my delivery. They stayed together in Chicago and they haven’t been separated since then.
@design-phan: The book looks awesome, I smirked when I read “Spotting (and avoiding) “serial” long-distance daters”. I’m definitely interested in reading this book, sounds like your advice will be valuable for us. You should definitely come to the meetup on July 27th, we’ll post more details soon about the event.
@Jenna: Very cute blog, I love how you featured your bridesmaids.
I actually found that the 1 year LD improved our relationship. Has anyone found that to be true? We started to appreciate each other more and we had less arguments about trivial things.
@marianneinvan: Wow, 4 years, I don’t know how you guys did it!
The first 18 months of my relationship with my FI were spent 6000 miles apart! 6 time zones!! oof! But because of where we were in life, and because of how we grew and changed together and really cherished every moment, I wouldn’t change a thing about it. With him only being a few hours away, this might not be so critical, but for us, it was key to spend time on the phone which meant planning a little and really knowing each other’s schedules.
@Mrs. Bell Pepper: Eventually, I’ll wind up in Philadelphia. He’ll definitely be there — intern year here in DC, and then radiology residency in Philly. I’m doing my Ph.D. in oncology in DC — probably 3-ish (hopefully?) years left to go, and then I hope to find a post-doc position somewhere in Philly (fingers crossed for Fox Chase — I have heard nothing but wonderful things). He’s hoping to stay in Philly for fellowship too — I think Penn has a strong radiology fellowship program — but who knows where I will wind up — with money so tight in research, nobody is hiring post-docs these days, so it wouldn’t surprise me if I wind up doing at least my first year of two in my current lab and just staying in DC and continuing our long-distance marriage.
The whole pregnancy thing really scares me, it will be tough enough with us each working such long hours, but to have to do it on my own — yikes! While obviously it is very person, should you do decide to post about living apart, I will of course be anxious to hear about how it works out and reading for any tips!
(And glad you liked the “Diary of a Doctor’s Wife.” I enjoy getting to run all his errands and manage his life just because I made the stupid decision to do the research side of things instead of clinical!)
@Julieulie: We live really close to Fox Chase, it’s one of the best cancer centers in the area. I’ve worked with attendings who completed their residency there and they nothing but good things to say about FC. Re: pregnancy, I honestly don’t know how she did it. I couldn’t do it on my own, definitely. I say that we might have to wait a few years until we finally settle down in a semi-permanent location.
We are currently doing it and I hate hate hate it. It doesn’t help that we lived together for 5 years ( in NYC) before I relocated to Chicago last year ( for work). We talked about getting married sometimes next year, so the engagement is probably coming up in the next couple of months. I can’t wait to leave Chicago. I would never do this again, there is no work worth the separation. Period.
@Mrs. Bell Pepper: Yup, can you believe some people actually seek out long-distance relationships? Anyway, unfortunately LDRs are a fact of life for doctors, academics, and people in the military. It’s hard work but relationships can continue to thrive when two people are apart. It helps a lot if you have a light at the end of the tunnel, i.e. a time to look forward to when you will again be living together.
Anyway, happy anniversary and good luck with the distance. Looking forward to hearing about the meet-up. Let me know if you change your mind about the book!
Cheers,
Caroline
Hey Miss BP,
Thanks for the 1 year update!
Mrs. BP, you are so lucky! My FI and I are both Portuguese and would love to spend our honeymoon in Madeira, but with the way the economy is it just looks like it will unfortunately cost too much. Your photos make me want to go there even more! We aren’t doing the long distance thing, but I just had to say what a lovely place to spend some time together.
Mrs. Bell Pepper, Philadelphia
Age and Occupation: 28, Resident Physician
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Resident Physician
Engagement Date: May 30, 2006
Wedding Date: June 2007
Venue: Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Arts
About Me: I love whimsical details and design, everything that *sparkles*, sipping on hazelnut lattes, pugs, shopping for antiques and second-hand goods, scenic photography, delicate flowers, and checking out new restaurants in the city with my fianc??. We are planning our wedding at a unique city venue for about 75 close family members and friends. I have a lot of DIY ideas and I like to blog about ways to save money on your wedding.
Oh wow, we went to Madeira for our honeymoon! We were only briefly in Funchal, though, so I can’t wait to hear about your experience.