Mrs. Gingerbread, Vancouver
Age and Occupation: 32, Psychologist
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Software Engineer
Engagement Date: Sometime in the fall of 2004
Wedding Date: July, 2008
Blogging Since: March 24, 2008
Venue: Rainforest wedding, beachfront restaurant reception
About Me: I recently moved to Canada from Southern California. Trying to plan a wedding in a new city, not to mention a new country, is tough, but the fact that we can get legally married here more than makes up for it! The wedding will be an opportunity for most of our family and friends to see our new city for the first time so it will be both a wedding and a reunion. Besides my future wife, I am also madly in love with a good bargain, Swedish pastries, Tivo, and my two dogs and calico cat (in no particular order).
Don’t Forget to Pack Your Marriage Certificate
June 27th, 2008 @ 1:50 pm by Mrs. Gingerbread
A while back I posted about wanting to be considered married on our honeymoon. This follow story is a frightening reminder of why this is so important. It’s also a good reminder to me to carry a copy of our marriage certificate when we travel abroad, including to the U.S.
A lesbian couple from WA, who were a couple for 18 years, were in Miami on vacation with their three children. Thirty-nine year old Lisa Pond collapsed suddenly and was admitted to an area hospital. Her partner, Janice Langbehn, and their three children were denied access to her for eight hours, because they were not considered family. Lisa died without her family and the state wouldn’t release the death certificate to them either because they were not recognized as a family.
You can click here to read more about the story and see Janice Langbehn talk about her experience.
23 Responses to “Don’t Forget to Pack Your Marriage Certificate”
That is heartbreaking 
but it will definitely remind me to pack our marriage license.
that made me cry.
not even the kids? wouldn’t they at least have been considered family?
Truly tragic. Can not even imagine how horrific that was to deal with.
That is such a sad story. It is hard to believe ppl still believe this stuff.
I say go on your HM with the certificate and enjoy yourselves.
That makes me so mad!!!! And its heartbreaking. Seriously, how can that doctor or nurse live with themselves!??! There is something to “following the rules” but sometimes you have to HAVE A HEART and look beyond the black and white!
How dreadful. I am glad that things seem to be changing, at least in some regions.
That just breaks my heart.
Wow- that just leaves me speechless and beyond sad. My heart goes out to that family…
horrific.
I wept when I first heard this story and I am angry all over again now.
Garnett Frederick, the “social” worker and the rest of the hospital staff members that perpetrated this OUTRAGE deserve to die alone and afraid. They are SCUM.
I second what beanchar said!!
hi all, this is janice from the story, thanks for posting it. the more the word gets out the better. for nearly 8hrs they didn’t recognize me as Lisa’s guardian even with a legal medical power of attorney or our jointly adopted kids after seeing their birth certificates. i am still grieving so much as so are our kids. I just hope that by telling this that I can help make some change. Lambda Legal saw the wisdom in taking on this case and I am so fortunate to have an amazing pro-bono legal team - everyone donating their time to right this wrong. it happened read my blog I have said this happened since day one http://www.theLPkids.com peace all
@jan: I am practically speechless. I am seething at reading your story. Outraged and heartbroken. You’re absolutely right - nobody should have to die scared and alone. No child should ever have to lose a parent and have the chance to say goodbye taken away from them because of ignorance and prejudice! No person should have to face that kind of craziness at a time when they are facing the loss of their loved one. Losing my FI suddenly is one of my biggest fears, to be honest. That kind of thing should transcend race, gender and, yes, sexuality. It’s called humanity - where the hell is their compassion!
But, I digress. You and your children are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you find a little comfort in knowing that not all of us are ignorant oafs like those who treated you so horribly. Give them hell!
So, maybe I wasn’t so speechless after all.
This is exactly why same sex marriage should be recognized and legalized! It makes me so angry that people will stand in judgment in situations like this. I can’t imagine not being able to see my fiance in a situation like this and find it reprehensible that they denied this family such a right.
Though this was heartbreaking to read, thank you for posting this story. Hopefully Jan is right and the more people that hear about this the more likely the necessary changes will be made.
I am, however, so thrilled for you, Miss Gingerbread and love reading your entries!
@jan: I am so very sorry that you and your family had to go through such tragedy. People find it so shocking and don’t want to believe such a thing could happen. People should be outraged, but at least now they can’t say, “Oh, that would never happen.” I want to thank you for telling your story. It is so important and your courage to speak about your experience and pain moves us closer to equality.
As a lesbian who just finished signing all of those documents with my partner, a social worker *and* a former trauma patient at Ryder (my former partner was out-of-state when I had my accident) — this story is just kind of stunning. I can picture it, feel it. I know a situation like this is one in a million, but it really makes you feel like nothing you do makes a difference. I hope the family is able to send all of their children to Harvard 16 times on Jackson Memorial’s dime.
I know this is at the bottom of the barrel in terms of priorities, but I hope someone has made a complaint against that social worker’s license not only with licensing board in Florida, but with the ethics board of NASW (if the social worker was a member). That man should not be practicing social work.
yes as a NASW member.. i initially just asked for an apology for 6 months.. contacted NASW about Mr. Frederick but his is not a member, he let it lapse.. he has an ACSW (and so do I).. which just makes it that much harder b/c I think of the many many traumas in the Children’s trauma I worked at.. and I can’t fathom how we were treated.. and not seeing lisa is just the tip of the iceberg so to speak. no quiet room for us to begin grieving, no access to food, no phone sitting a waiting room with all our luggage bound for the bahamas.. and the kids.. oh our poor kids.
so yes I complained and complained with not thinking of suing for months and it went on deaf ears .. then LAMBDA put JMH on notice and they still did nothing. sad
peace all
jan
