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Dress shopping as an LDS bride is, in many ways, a different experience. When married in the temple you make certain promises concerning modesty, and they dictate the type of gown you are able to wear. It must have sleeves of a certain length, and it must cover part of your chest and shoulders. I am very excited to make these promises and I wouldn’t want to be married anywhere else and so I’m happy to find a gown that fits these requirements.
An example of the dress selection in the Utah stores I visited.
Unfortunately, finding a dress that meets these requirements can be really hard. As you can see from the dresses shown above, they tend to look exactly the same. A little bit of a 90’s style, mixed with a square neckline and the same short sleeve on each. I am not being manipulative in what I am showing you, most of the styles look just like this. I did find a very pretty all lace dress with a nice v-neck, but it cost close to $1000 and I knew I could find something I liked more somewhere else. I wanted to find something different that would never feel out of style. Three out of the five stores I visited carried dresses just like this, and I was feeling pretty discouraged about my options.
Another round of dress shopping in a store that caters to LDS brides.
Up next: I decide to branch out and try on some gowns that are little more mainstream, the tradeoff being that they would have to be altered.
Anyone else have “modesty” requirements they have to meet? If so, how did you find your dress?
Would you consider a non-modest dress that you could wear with a bolero or cape?
Adding… my FSIL really loved the look of strapless but hated that most strapless dresses were low-cut. She happened to find one that came up to about the same place on her chest as the dresses you are modeling. She added a little bolero and if you even used brooches to pin the sides/lapel area to the dress you’d get the same silouhette as the dresses in your picture! Just thinking of ways to offer you more variety…
I actually like that lower-left dress (from the top set of photos) on you. From what I can tell - the neck and waistline were very flattering on you. Can’t wait to see what you chose!
I’m so glad we have an LDS bee! I was married in May in the San Antonio Temple, and yes, dress shopping is not fun, reminded me of the horrors of trying to find a modest prom dress.
I actually found my wedding dress on the SLC craigslist, bought it from another LDS bride, and I loved it. It was the Maggie Sottero Grace Kelly (http://www.maggiesottero.com/dress.aspx?showAll=1&style=J135) and it was so gorgeous and different from most modest dresses. If you want to wear your dress in the temple (I don’t recommend it at all, but its totally a personal thing), you have to be really careful, mine was too sparkly, and some of the beading was silver, rather than white. Just keep that in mind!
wow…tricky problem…looking forward to seeing what you decided to go with! 
Agreed with Miss P - I like the lower left dress from the top set a lot!
I live in Phoenix, which has a huge LDS population, and all of the photos I see of LDS brides look exactly the same. I always feel badly for them - it’s like they are wearing The Official Mormon Wedding Costume.
Perhaps something sort of retro would be a modest yet stylish choice? I don’t know all the requirements, but you could do a boatneck with 3/4 sleeves and a full tea-length skirt, which is modest and 50’s stylish. It would be stunning in a plain fabric.
I also like the one the other girls like…
Other idea: Can you or someone you know make a dress?
Just throwing this out as an idea for a dress with full length sleeves:
isn’t there a mainstream designer who offers additions and stuff to their dresses? i can’t think of the name but i think one of the bees mentioned that option briefly…maybe it was mrs. pearl?
What a shame that they don’t play more with the type of dress you are looking for.
I have to say that the first thing that came to my mind was like misschickie: How about a bolero or an additional piece to cover your shoulders and follow the promise of modesty.
Or get it made, or find a cheap one that can be worked from…
Good luck though, it doesn’t seem easy.
I actually think lots (even most) strapless gowns look the same too - especially within the price range that most LDS brides are in. Its not the designers fault either. I think most people want to look like a traditional bride on their big day, and not make a huge fashion statement or follow a big trend.
Having said that I can agree that LDS dresses can tend to look alike. But getting a strapless gown and putting a jacket on it or sewing on sleeves doesn’t always work either - the alterations have to perfectly match the style of the dress. And it bothers me that some LDS brides look like they’re trying to get as close to the “normal” strapless dress as possible (you know, the 1/2 an inch sleeve syndrome). Its so personal though, I don’t want to judge! I went with elbow length sleeves on my dress so it didn’t look like everyone else’s (I got married in January though!) Its such an interesting topic - thanks for the blog!
On an other note, maybe you could look for a Victorian or even medieval style dress… I like the idea of a long sleeves (like on the link from sandy) if they allow that, it adds a certain style to it…
I like CarolineG’s suggestion. A vintage feel could be great!
I think the reason the lower left one looks the best (the one everyone else is referring to, too) is that the sleeves are kind of cap-like, so it adds a bit of romance/interest to the neckline. The tops of the other ones all kind of look like a t-shirt in shape, which comes out a little too square/boxy.
So if you continue to try short sleeves, I would definitely look for bodices that have a little more interest around the shoulders, to curve things up a bit!
Agreed with MTYF - I think it’s the boxiness of the other necklines that makes them look so similar, whereas the one we’re referring to is softer.
definitely check out bolero options for more standard dresses. another thing to try would be to see if sleeves can be added to a style - at the stop i went to, they had a whole hangar of sleeves that you could add to certain styles.
also love the idea of a tea length boat neck in a vintage style.
J Crew has nice cheaper dresses that cover you up. Mine is the daphne… it was sold out, but I got a dressmaker to custom make it for even cheaper than the original price!
Hi! Although I am not an LDS bride, my religion does require quite modest attire, even at functions such as weddings. I have purchased gowns through beautifullymodest.com but found a salon willing to help me when it came to my wedding dress. They ordered a stapless dress I picked out, but requested extra fabric be sent in order to make a bolero/sleeves, whichever I decide when the dress comes in. They also gave me names of designers that are willing to modify their dresses to make them “temple-ready”. Good luck in your search!
Hmm…have you looked at Stephanie James Couture? I’m not sure what the LDS requirements are, but would the Josephine work? It has sleeves, and is adorable! She also has gorgeous suits that are very “Carrie Bradshaw at the Courthouse”
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Mrs. Avocado, Seattle Age and Occupation: 23, Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Consultant Engagement Date: July 27, 2008 Wedding Date: October, 2008 Blogging Since: June 30, 2008 Venue: LDS Seattle Temple & Hotel 1000 About Me: Somehow this little farm girl found herself a genuine Pole to fall in love and eventually move away to Poland with. I am an LDS bride attempting to plan a private religious ceremony, ring ceremony, seated reception for 100, and an open house while coordinating for guests flying in from across the United States and as far away as Poland. I try to avoid fads, excess waste, and saturated fat. I strongly endorse photography, DDR, calorie counting, rss feeds, cooking, and utilizing your resources.
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