Getting Everything in Writing
July 2nd, 2008 @ 11:00 am by Mrs. Tulip
Background
We Tulips are the most easy-going lawyers you could hope to meet. Additionally, we only had 3 wedding vendors — our photographer and two venues. So, when our reception venue said that they didn’t have a standard contract to detail the terms of our rental, we didn’t insist.
When we first looked into the venue, they gave us the option of reserving their lower level for a certain minimum food/drink purchase, or taking over the whole place for a larger minimum. We wanted extra space and didn’t want to share the space with restaurant diners, so we went with the larger minimum. It meant ordering more food than we actually needed, and maybe filling in the difference if the bar tab didn’t take us to the minimum, but we felt the trade-off was worth it.
Cut to the week of our wedding, when we got an email from the event coordinator. She said that, “in light of the small number of guests,” they felt it would be “much more intimate” if we all stayed on the lower level. Translation: they wanted to keep the restaurant open upstairs during our reception. Although the owners had set the terms in the first place, they now decided the minimum was too low. Of course, we objected on principle to this shockingly bad business practice, but we also had guests arriving in a couple of days. Cue many emails back and forth, tears by the event coordinator (who was put in an uncomfortable spot between the owners’ position and our own anger), and finally a meeting between Mr. T and the owners, in which we agreed to allow them to stay open while we decorated, and also to push the reception back an hour. It wasn’t ideal, but it did find a compromise between the two positions. We just announced the time change at our ceremony.
Lesson Learned
Under most circumstances, an agreement does not need to be written down to become a valid contract. It’s enough that the parties reach an agreement and then take action on that agreement. The lack of a written contract did not give our reception site any authority to change our rental terms.
But “legal authority” is one thing…real-world practice is another. If anything goes wrong, you have a stronger position if you can wave around a piece of paper, with the vendor’s signature, on which she agreed to the exact terms of your deal. This is in part because the vendor must confront her own promises, and in part because, if all else fails, it’s easier to take legal action on a written document because it offers convenient proof of the agreed-upon terms and both parties’ acceptance of those terms (as shown by their signatures).
For the same reasons, you should put everything significant into that written agreement. Your photographer agreed to give you a DVD of images within two months? Be sure it’s in the contract. Your florist agreed on light-pink peonies? Be sure it’s in the contract. Your restaurant venue agreed to close from 4-10 p.m. based on a certain minimum purchase? Be sure it’s in the contract. Heaven forbid you ever have a dispute, but “an ounce of prevention” is by far the best.
Anyone else have a vendor dispute to share? Were the key terms in your contract, and did it make a difference?
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9 Responses to “Getting Everything in Writing”
I’ve been known to completely re-write a vendor’s contract JUST to make sure I’ve got it all in writing. Fortunately, they just roll their eyes and sign.
I totally feel you on this one!
You are completely right you must have EVERYTHING in writing. I had two vendors who also they didnt do line item contracts, my florist and my baker. I insisted that we have everything they were to deliver, colors and sizes in writing and Thank God I did! The day of our wedding our cake was the wrong colors and decorated incorrectly, however since I had my contract that clearly stated what colors our cake was supposed to be I got half my money back. Would I have rather have had the right cake YES but believe me getting back 225 bucks did A LOT to sooth my anger. On our bakers part it was an honest mistake but again the contract protected me.
More importantly and not suprisingly the one who fough giving me a detailed contract was my florist. She just wanted to lump everything together under one bulk price and not break down what types of flowers were supposed to be in each arrangment and what each one would cost. (This should have been a red flag for me, and if you get this attitude RUN). The day of our wedding she dropped off our flowers making sure I didnt see them and literally bolted out the back door when one of my bridemaids tried to ask her about the flowers. (Red Flag!!) They brought me my bouquet and it was literally 1/2 the size it was supposed to be, we were short boutineers, the ring bearer pillow was frankly a joke, the alter pieces were clearly not what was in our contract, and the girls flowers were awful. All in all I WAS PISSED. But again because we had a contract I was able to get half of our money back without having to go to court and if I had gone to court based on the contract we had outline I can guarette I would have won.
The thing is no matter how well you think you know your vendors mistakes will happen (such as our cake) and sometime they just decide to cheap out because prices went up for them so they skimp in places if they can. Contracts are there for the protection of both sides and not having one is never a good idea. Believe me if they dont want to sign one there is probably a good reason and chances are it’s not one that will benefit you!
As a lawyer I know I should get EVERYTHING in writing, so why this week did I book a florist with no contract? Ummm yeah. That was dumb. Luckily the deposit was minute. So if I lose it no biggie. Before I give her anymore money there will be a contract.
One of our DJ’s big offers in our initial meeting was that if they didn’t do everything we had asked them to do, or if they did anything we had asked them not to do, we would get our money back. We didn’t get it in the contract. A year later, after they only played 3 of the 10 songs on our Must Play list, didn’t play any of the music (or even the TYPE of music) we’d requested for dinner, and did have a limbo competition despite repeated orders to NOT play any games, that was no longer their policy and they stopped returning phone calls. Lesson learned.
“an ounce of prevention”. Having a good contract is ALWAYS a great idea. However, “prevention” it is not. The only thing a contract is… is a piece of paper. If something actually did go wrong, YOU would have to take legal action. You have to ask yourself the question, “Am I really prepared to get an attorney and spend a bunch of money and time on taking something to court?” If your answer is “no”, then it doesn’t matter what the contract says. So just be prepared to take action.
Wil that is true to a degree, yes the contract may not always prevent the problems (as in my case) but for most vendors the mere threat of legal action or BBB complaint is usually enough for them to either fix the situation or to get you back some of your cash. However without that contract good luck getting the BBB to take your complaint seriously or getting any of your money back from a vendor, they are as likely to give you the finger as they are to give you your money at that point.
The fact is you have to be willing to stand up for yourself as a customer and not just say oh well it’s over with I guess I’ll just deal (as my family tried to get me to do). One of my friend’s florists also screwed up her flowers and despite having a very good contract my friend didn’t bother to follow up and let the florist know she was displeased and willing to take action if necessary so no she never got a penny. All too often people think “Well if they don’t follow through then I will have to get a lawyer, so what’s the point?” However in most cases these sorts of issues are resolved long before lawyers and courts are involved, but it means being able to stand up for yourself and saying “No it’s not ok and here is the contract you signed saying so!” So yes Wil you are correct that you have to be willing to take action but it may not have to be the legal kind.
I have been having problems in this department….I live in the US but am planning a destination wedding in Scotland. My fiance and I went there a few months ago to view venues and meet vendors. Now that we have made our decisions and are trying to book the venue and vendors, I am running into problems with getting contracts. Apparently it is a very American thing to do and the florist, venue, and hairdresser have not been very accommodating. I haven’t given a deposit to anyone because I’m scared to do so without a contract. Any advice from UK brides, or other destination brides?
Almost the same thing as with you: we reserved the bigger of two ballrooms on a verbal agreement, and then when a bigger wedding came up six months later, the venue tried to make us take the smaller (much less adequate) ballroom by saying that we HAD to have a certain amount of people, and if we didn’t we would get moved over anyway. It was truly a practice in me sticking to my guns for once and not giving up, but in the end, it worked out and I got it (finally!) in writing that we would have the large ballroom UNLESS we had a headcount of less than 200 guests (given to them 2 weeks before the wedding) AND they booked a larger party than ours. I truly think they were expecting me to give in, and when I didn’t, they freaked out. Now, all I have to do is wait until October to see how it all actually turns out. Wish us luck! 
Mrs. Tulip, DC
Age and Occupation: 36, Retired
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Counsel/DOO for Small Gov't Contractor
Engagement Date: August 8, 2007
Wedding Date: March, 2008
Venue: Still Looking!
About Me: In all my dreams of the man I'd someday marry, I never pictured anyone as perfect for me as Mr. Tulip. So now we just have to make it through the craziness of the wedding and the moving in together! I love crafts, sewing, jewelry making, and photography, so am looking forward to this chance for DIY fun. When not wedding planning, I'm playing with our dog and 4 cats, Ebay shopping, or watching too much TV (often simultaneously!).
Oh, this is great advice! Honestly, a lot of wedding vendors just aren’t business savvy. I booked our photog at a bridal fair (I already knew I wanted him and they offer cool deals at fairs to get bookings) and my older sister got him to verbally agree to some additional bonuses.
(she rocks)
Anyway, I made sure to get it in writing because, sure enough, 7 months later of course he didn’t remember adding those extras in because it wasn’t the ‘norm.’ He was awesome and just checked the contract, so it’s a good thing I had it in writing!
Becky