Mrs. Green Tea, Sacramento
Age and Occupation: 30, Tea Analyst
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 31, Coffee Critic
Engagement Date: November 17, 2006
Wedding Date: August 23, 2008
Blogging Since: June 10, 2008
Venue: Vineyard on the Delta
About Me: I'm just your average obsessive compulsive, arts & crafts loving, funky-on-the-inside/boring-on-the-outside girl, who dares to say 'Hey! I can make that!' Nerdy professional by day, goofy won-ton by night. The won-ton sometimes comes out during the day when I'm fed the dollar breakfast at Ikea. Since our engagement, wedding planning has put me on high alert for bargains and I've been pushing my nimble fingers through callous building experiments!
Gummy, Bacon, and American
July 4th, 2008 @ 4:30 pm by Mrs. Green Tea
One of the most interesting results of the union between the mister and I is our integration into each other’s families. We are fortunate that even though it took a bit of warming up from both sides at the beginning, we do get along with each other’s supporting casts rather well.
We’re both sort of a novelty to the other’s circles, with neither of our families having members outside our own race. For him, the challenge was getting used to the food and all the fingers pointing at him amongst the Chinese conversation. He got lucky, however, since his quick pick up of the game of mahjong won over just about everyone in a snap.
The mister’s friends and family are fairly accommodating. They are an educated and understanding group, comprehending the idea that people are just people, and that Americans include folks from many races. Somehow though, perhaps due to the lack of diversity in their smaller town, recognizing that I am as American as them proves to be difficult.
I call it the gummy bacon theory - the package reads gummy, your friends tell you it’s gummy, reviews even rave ‘yummy!’…but the concept can be difficult for you if you have only had gummy in the shapes of bears and worms. Understandably, when you put it in your mouth, you swear you taste bacon for a split second until reality takes over. The gummy bacon, no matter how good, will somehow always lack the authenticity of the bear or worm shaped gummy.
It doesn’t look like gummy, just as I don’t look American, according to some people’s image libraries. Because of this, I get explanations that start with ‘well even if you were American…’ or my FMIL tells me that taking pictures is ‘an American thing’ when I react with my usual camera shyness. When I tell that I am American, her reaction is ‘I know that… well, you know what I mean.’
I do know what they mean - that I am Chinese-American, with all the rights and privileges of the regular American that I am not. Though this sounds rather negative, I do also recognize that within ‘what they mean,’ that there are no intentions of put downs nor are there negative associations. It’s not that they have anything against gummy or bacon, it’s just hard for them to instinctively accept one looking like the other.
They will adjust more to me as time goes by, as I will to them, and as we already have. I do not need to prove to anyone that I am an American, and that I’m proud to be one. On this fourth of July, I will once again celebrate how far this wonderful country of mine has come, and have faith that it will go much further in this long road ahead.
Happy Independence Day All!
P.S. Totally unrelated, but here are the earrings I made for this 4th of July. I love them. 
9 Responses to “Gummy, Bacon, and American”
Touching and beautifully written, Miss GT. Thanks for writing this.
Great post that brings up issues I think many of us must be dealing with. Mr. Avocado didn’t have a car all through college because he was paying for it himself and he wanted to save money (and honestly, he didn’t need one) and sometimes when I would tell people he was car-less, they would say “Oh, can he even drive?” Like Poland is in the middle of a deserted land where they are completely uncivilized.
I am probably a little sensitives, but it makes me so mad sometimes when people make assumptions because someone is a little bit different than them. I am sure I do it all the time, and I hope that this post will remind me to be better about it.
Excellent post for fourth of July… hope you have a great time celebrating
Great post! FI and I are lucky - neither of us have ever really experienced any ignorance from the other’s camp (I’m Australian, he’s Brazilian). Our families are more excited and intrigued by the other. I’m very grateful for it.
Although, whenever I tell any woman who hasn’t met him that my FI is Brazilian their eyes automatically light up. I think they imagine an olive skin Ronaldo look-alike and get all excited. I then quickly explain that he’s of 100% German ancestry and watch their faces fall, and I know they’re thinking, “Well that’s not exotic.” Haha!
Thank you for writing such a sensitive post. I think a lot of us “Americans” are dealing w/our multi-cultural or interracial marriages and it gets tricky. your fiance is lucky to have such a insightful and generous bride as you.
Uhm, in all honesty - unless you are Native American, a diverse group of races IS American. I think it’s rather silly that people have some concept that Caucasians are more American than any other race - that’s just silly.
Honey - you are 100% just as American as the rest of us and that’s what makes America so amazing and awesome! That we can all live together in harmony.
Great post!
I loved your post Miss G.T! I’m very much in a similar boat to yours, and I felt that this post was so personal to me. I think your openness with such topics is what makes Weddingbee such a great blog to read. Happy 4th!
miss gt, you have an amazing amount of patience and understanding! i don’t think i’d be as nice to my future in laws about their… insensitivity? ingornance? not sure what to call it.
anyway, whatever it is, if you and mr. gt are planning on having kids, you may want to really work on adjusting their attitudes before hand. it won’t be as harmless when they say inappropriate things around small children who are just starting to create their own identities!
