After Wedding Blues…
July 8th, 2008 @ 3:30 pm by Mrs. Flamingo
Hey everyone, I’m back…well to be honest I’ve been back for quite some time now (I’ve been married for a good 3 weeks) but the after-wedding blues kicked in and the desire to blog has basically been a huge flatline. Even though I will be blogging about my wedding and how wonderful, perfect and magical it was, the planning is over and it makes me extremely sad.
While I was shopping over the weekend, I happened to find the latest issue of Martha Stewart Weddings. I love MS weddings and I would buy them before I even got engaged. But with our wedding being officially over… it hit me. The after wedding nostalgia kicked in. I literally stayed at the magazine counter holding the magazine for a good five minutes, debating whether I should buy it or not. I didn’t buy it, and symbolically, it’s like turning the page, sorta. (Although I think I just might go back and buy it -I’m a Martha addict!)
Now that I’m married I feel the urge to start my own wedding related business in order to satisfy my thirst for weddings…this is a big debate for me now. I love weddings and would love to work in weddings somehow… so I feel that on top of the after-wedding blues, I am questioning my new life and what I want to do with it, career-wise.
Am I the only one feeling like this? Please say it isn’t so.
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30 Responses to “After Wedding Blues…”
I haven’t even gotten married, yet, and I just know that I’m going to be depressed and bored after the honeymoon.
In the beginning of wedding planning, I thought, “I should totally be a wedding planner!” But after a few extremely frustrating weeks of people not doing what I asked them to do (you know, something basic like giving me their guest list in a timely manner… ahem, FMIL!), I realized that I couldn’t handle managing other people. I definitely like to plan, but when I have to count on other people to get things done, that’s when I become a micromanaging ogre.
But I still like coming up with creative solutions for table cards and programs and guest favors ~ I just don’t know where there is a need for the service of brainstorming fun/unique/crazy wedding ideas! I like June Bride’s suggestion about dabbling in wedding stuff on the side ~ that’s probably what I’ll have to do to get my fix.
I felt that way after our wedding….trust me, it will get better. I have been married for almost 4 months now and well settled into the next phase of life. I put so much thought and time into planning, that it seemed weird not to have to do it anymore, like I had so much extra time on my hands! In fact, it was like I couldn’t remember what the hell I was doing before I started the planning process. If this is your niche, then you should do what you can to get out there and make it happen. It’s not often that we are able to make a career out of something that we love and are passionate about.
Mrs. Flamingo, I just got married on June 28th, and I did the exact same thing with the latest Martha Stewart in the grocery store!!! I just barely managed to put it down. I don’t have a post-wedding blues cure yet, but it helps to know that others feel the same way. Interestingly enough, I think my whole immediate family misses the planning! We all had so much fun planning together, and now that it’s over, we don’t know what to do with ourselves!
I got married the same day you did and I thought I would feel the same. Instead, I’m sorry to say I suddenly could care less about anything wedding-related. It’s so strange because I’ve been fascinated by these events my whole life it seems and now I’m like, “who cares about your stupid florist?”
Woah! Freaky!
I’m hoping that this feeling, and your Wedding Blues, subside soon.
Oh yes. I’ve even thought of going back and getting a BFA in digital photography to be a wedding photog!!! (I can get it free too! but I’m kind of waiting for it to go to an evening/weekend model). It’s crazy but yes, I know what you mean about wanting to get into the business. I could do it in a heartbeat but am reluctant as I’m on a very stable career path right now. I guess I could start out on the side and see where it goes, but I’d have to take all of the classes first…
Don’t worry, you’re NOT alone by any means!!
I felt the exact same way, and still do seven weeks after our wedding. I didn’t miss all the stressing about vendors and seating arrangements, but I missed planning the creative elements of the wedding or having a wedding-related project to do. Wedding planning also opened up tons of new sources of inspiration beyond normal wedding stuff and into areas of graphic design, interior design and textiles, and so much more. I’ve enjoyed those things so much that I’ve been wondering if I should also consider a career change. My husband says I’m going through a “quarter-life crisis” and has encouraged me to look into options for projects on the side while I try to decide what I want to do. So, I haven’t figured it out just yet, but right now I’m working with a bride to help design her wedding programs, which has helped a lot. I would agree that wedding-related projects on the side are a good idea. You’re so talented that I’m sure you’d be successful if you decided to give it a go, but undertaking a few side projects in the meantime might help you figure out if this is really what you want to do.
I definitely miss a lot of aspects of planning the wedding, but am also glad to have my time back. I get to just hang out with the hubby, rather than thinking about colors of ribbon and floral supplies. When we watch TV, I am sitting on the couch, not on the floor with my paper cutter or gocco in front of me (unless I’m doing a fun project).
Best of all, we are more at peace now. We have rarely fought over the course of our 12 years together, but in the 6 months leading to the wedding we had several little planning-related tiffs that I can definitely do without!
I understand the urge to want to do something wedding-related as career choice. After life-long hobbying that culminated in my making jewelry and stationery for my bridesmaids and myself, I will probably start making jewelry and paper goods to sell on etsy soon. But I would give it a little more time before jumping ship from your current career - unless you have been unhappy or stuck for a while.
Most of all, I think I miss the anticipation of my wedding - being able to look forward to it, and knowing that the biggest party I will ever throw is in front of me, rather than behind me. Luckily, it was the best day of my life so far, so I can turn the looking forward eagerly into looking back very, very fondly.
I’ve been married a little over a week, and while I’m psyched the wedding went beautifully and that I had an amazing time (and that I’m MARRIED), I too am feeling rather blue. It’s hard to anticipate something that long with that much excitement and for it to be over. Luckily we’re planning a trip to South Africa in a few months.
Wow! So glad to know I’m not the only one! We’ve been married for almost 4 months and I’m still dealing with it. Truthfully I feel lost. For the last couple of years I had a very strong focus to my life. For the first year my DH and I were separated so his homecoming from deployment and my move to be with him was the driving force in my life. Shortly there after we got engaged and the driving force became the wedding. Now I feel kind of like I’m floating without some direction. I’m really hoping that starting some volunteer activities will really help. This board has also helped me! For the first couple of weeks I didn’t want to have anything to do with it because it made me sad. But now I feel like I’m giving back. I try to watch the boards and help out brides who I feel I can. It feels good to be able to share information from this side of the isle. Good luck! I can’t offer much help, but it is certainly nice to know I’m not alone.
Well you can always set up an etsy shop and sell some wedding stuff there. This way you can try it out and decide if it is for you.
Oh I’ll come work for you FOR FREE, because of my post wedding blues. wedding was almost 3 months ago, and I’m still pouring over the magazines, sites, etc. 
I feel that way too! My favorite wedding magazine was InStyle and when I saw it in the store I wanted to buy it but felt like I shouldn’t since I’m done planning. I have been seriously thinking about becoming a wedding planner since I planned my entire wedding by myself and enjoyed the planning so much.
Don’t think you are alone there are lots of us out there feeling the after wedding blues.
i feel you 100% i’ve been trying to find my niche in the wedding business. but you have talent. i’m working towards mines. i love anything wedding related. stationery, party planning/coordinating, and photography. its a tough industry. you have to have a lot of drive to keep going even when you’re told to stop.
Yeah i am not alone!!!! We got married on June 8th, and while everything was amazing and i love being married i def. got the blues.
And i have def. been shamed for it. : (
I am actually trying to start up my own wedding paperie as a fun side thing since i made all my own invites, menus, etc. 
I seriously have to live vicariously through my brides now! woot!
You are definitely not alone! I’ve always loved weddings and help out wherever I can during my friends’ weddings. However, after my own, I definitely have PTWS (Post Traumatic Wedding Syndrome via Mr. Monkey).
http://www.weddingbee.com/2007/10/22/ptws/
Like you, I wanted to maybe continue doing something related to the weddings. Unlike most people though, I am not that creative. What I like doing is the organization and execution of a wedding to ensure that all the details are perfect on the day of! Luckily, I met a fellow weddingbee reader on the boards and will be coordinating her wedding. Yea!!! If it goes well, I may continue to hire myself out for a few weddings a year to try to get over the PTWS.
I had *exactly* the same moment with that MS Weddings on Sunday (but mine happened in the magazine aisle at the supermarket). I bought a home decorating magazine instead, because we are buying a new house, and I figure that will give me something to focus on, but it wasn’t the same.
Due to unforseen circumstances, I spent an extra year planning my wedding, so it was two years total. I keep thinking about how things turned out (good and bad), like I can actually do something about it at this point. That is a long time to spend thinking about one thing, and I think it is going to be really hard to let go of. I actually considered removing all of my wedding blogs from Google reader and going cold turkey, but haven’t gotten up the nerve.
On the bright side, I am MOH for my best friend’s wedding next March, so I think I can justify going back and buying that magazine!
THANK YOU for this post, Mrs. Flamingo! I am not yet married, but friends of mine told me to prepare myself now for the weeks after as the come down can be hard. I, for one, think you are a beautifully talented graphic designer and absolutely loved your invitations and other printed materials that you designed for your own wedding. Ever think of getting in to that aspect of wedding planning? Maybe you can set up an etsy shop like mentioned above and try it out for a bit, make some cash, and see how you feel later. Never know- it may open some other doors for you. In the meantime- send us some more pictures. I am DYING to see how your big day turned out! This three weeks in waiting has been oh so long.
Oooh, flamingo, first of all, I don’t think I’ve gotten to say this yet - CONGRATULATIONS!
Now, I must say, I TOTALLY AGREE. I have been spending a ton of free time editing pictures and working on albums, so thats helped… but it will only last so long. Also, Mr. BG’s brother got engaged, and I am HOPING so badly that his fiance will want me to help. I’m itching.
Anyway, point being, I hear you. I think you’re normal.
I’ve been thinking about getting into wedding photography. I love taking/editing photos, and I love weddings, so why not?
I think the bridal industry is probably litered with the corpses of brides who enjoyed their weddings so much that they wanted to get into the wedding business. It is a HARD business and most people don’t make money in it…at least not for a while…don’t make any rash decisions.
I’d say try to limit your exposure to wedding related stuff (no magazines, limit blog exposure), get yourself a project that is design related or creative in some aspect like that but not wedding related. And give yourself a year before you decide to enter the wedding business. If after one year of limiting your wedding exposure you still feel a strong desire to enter the field then maybe it is something you should do and not just a post-wedding whim.
We just returned from our honeymoon today after getting married on June 21st (yippee!) and I admit I was checking in with Wedding Bee while in Hawaii. After catching me in the middle of the night, on our honeymoon, reading wedding blogs (jet lag, or my mind still in wedding mode!!) my husband firmly suggested that I can stop reading wedding blogs now… I’m married! But like most things, it’s really hard to quit cold turkey, so here I am checking in while he’s sleeping. I think it might be a gradual phase out to the next happy stage of life. Good luck… and you are so not alone!!
Oh, I’m so there! It’s been almost a year since my wedding, and hey, I’m still reading this site! Never again will it be acceptable to obsess over paper goods and ribbon to quite the same extent as I did over the wedding… (sigh) I’m still kind of tempted to start making wedding hair jewelry, or start designing invitations, but I know it’ll never be a career, only a hobby. (double sigh)
Hi Mrs. Flamingo,
ohhhhh, i hear ya, honey. it seemed to flash by–a gorgeous flash, but still a quickly-fleeting one. now i’ve taken it upon myself to pass along as much useful information to friends who have recently gotten engaged or who are closer to their wedding dates. there are phases of info. i’ve also toyed with the idea of helping as a wedding coordinator, but haven’t really come to any conclusions about that.
OHHH my.. im totally with you on this one.. i was actually secretly wishing that someone was going to spill the beans on what i call POST WEDDING BLUES.. it hit me really hard and is still hitting me. i barely had 6 months to prepare for the wedding and at first i thought i was crazy.. during the preparations, i wished that it would all be over very soon and now im catching myself very sad about the fact that ITS DONE - can not be repeated! and oh my.. i have to say- im in a middle of career crisis.i have always wanted to do something related to weddings. now im thinking to myself… should i now actually act on it now that i have gone through my very own?
you are absolutely not alone on this…
but hey, the greatest part about all of this is that– when you wake up in the morning and the when you fall asleep at night, the first and last person you see is the man you promised and vowed to spend the rest of your life with. its so awesome.. isn’t it?
There is a sort of withdrawal after planning a wedding, I totally agree. However, I have heard SO many brides (myself included) who voice that they want to switch careers to do something with the wedding industry right after her wedding. While I think this is so great (think of the creativity!), I would hesitate, wait a few months, and not do anything rash. The wedding industry is extremely competetive. Maybe start something small on the side? Maybe help with another friend’s wedding?
Like June Bride (comment #1) said, it would be easiest to plan a party or a party for a friend and see how you feel after that. (my practical side is totally transparent here, but i’m just worried for you.
I have the Post Wedding Blues too - but not the kind you have… so many regrets about our wedding… so many things I planned beautifully that were not carried out properly by the people I hired.:’( Thank goodness I have a loving HUSBAND (tee hee! I love that word.) who will humor me and join in on my b*tch sessions about the wedding.
By the way, Mrs. Flamingo, our Montreal honeymoon was FANTASTIC!! Your city is overwhelmingly beautiful!! Even the poutine is pretty tasty (We thought we would hate it)! Our last night in Montreal, we saw a bride and groom on a carriage ride down Rue de la Commune. Was that you and your husband?
You should start some kind of wedding business since I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your wedding invitations. You definitely have a talent when it comes to design. Your invitations inspired me to make my own invitations.
I’m so glad this is a normal feeling. I was worried. It never even occurred to me I would feel sad after. I feel so warm about how my family came together and worked so hard to make our day special. I keep looking at pictures just so I can relive the day. My journey looking for a husband is over and I feel happy I waited for someone special. This is real and exciting. It had never crossed my mind to become a wedding planner. I think if this is something you think you’d love…explore it. I just want to have big anniversary party every year.:) Honeymoon in Montreal???? Hmmmm…I think I might explore that idea as well.
I got married over month ago and I totally relate to most of you all. I have the post-wedding blues!! Its so ironic because during the planning I was stressed and having arguments with my mother and my FI. I was so looking forward to the wedding being over. But then once it was all done I missed it so much. It truly was the best day of my life and my husband’s life. I planned for about 14 months, so most of my free time was focused on the wedding. Just like bonniebell101 I want to fill my time with some volunteer activities. I’m glad I’m not the only one who has the blues!
Mrs. Flamingo, Montreal, Canada
Age and Occupation: 25, Graphic Designer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Nursing Student
Engagement Date: December 2004
Wedding Date: June 21, 2008
Venue: Imperia Hotel (modern chic hotel)
About Me: I am a passionate designer who loves anything pretty. I heart all paper products (eco-friendly of course). My passion revolves around anything considered glamour; vintage and modern. In my free time, I love reading Martha mags, designing jewelry and making a pit-stop at Starbucks for a chai latte. I'm also a chocoholic at heart and my family drools over my homemade truffles.
I feel the same way, to a degree. Know what’s helped? Planning a new party just for fun! It’s helped replace the “I need something to do” feeling.
Any way you can dabble in wedding stuff on the side to “get your fix?” To see if it’s right for you?