Weddingbee

Yes, that’s right, after Parts 1 and 2, we now come to the riveting conclusion! The final chapter begins now:

(Joined in progress. Read the prior 244 reasons here and here)

“245. You look good in a suit.
246. You smile a lot when you’re drunk.
247. You will not eat clam chowder.
248. Your last name is cool.
249. You were born on Beltane.
250. You do not say the word “irregardless.”
251. You eat catfish, but not cats.
252. You can wear the colour orange.
253. You are part Finnish.
254. You wrote a book.
255. You dedicated your book to your old dog.256. You always make sure I have olives.
257. You made suicidal gingerbread people with me.
258. You are a much better cook than me.
259. You check to make sure I have my mittens when we’re going out in cold weather.
260. You surprised me with Guitar Hero.
261. You miss me when I go away on trips.
262. You like going to see the Christmas Village at the Bay every year.
263. You bought a cool hat at Goodwill but are afraid to wear it because you don’t want to look like “one of those hipster douchebags who thinks he can wear a hat.”
264. You always check to make sure how I’m doing blood sugar-wise.
265. You got really excited when we bought the Ninja Turtles Arcade Game on 360.
266. You wear sunglasses.
267. You dig the way it smells after it rains.
268. You don’t really know how to swim that well but you come with me anyway.
269. You are very ticklish.
270. You always pay for drinks when we go out to a bar night.
271. You finally threw out those creepy old slippers you had and let me buy you new ones.
272. You were stoked to get your own lightsabre.
273. You love Wolverine (he’s sarcastic, he’s got adamantium claws and he’s Canadian!).
274. You cave and laugh at me when I do something silly to make you smile.
275. Your hair is a nice colour.
276. You enjoy bacon.
277. You think graveyards are pretty.
278. You threw up in Fran’s.
279. You brought me to one of your favourite spots in Toronto (the one at U of T).
280. You lent me your copy of Good Omens to read.
281. You hold my hand on the street.
282. You talk to squirrels.
283. You introduced me to Mystery Science Theatre.
284. You refuse to admit that Patrick Grey is really just you in cartoon form.
285. You like badminton.
286. You are still bashful about your teenage years.
287. You have a birthmark on your finger.
288. Your hair sticks up first thing in the morning.
289. You love a nice art pencil or marker.
290. You bought me Kerplunk after my aunt died.
291. You respect my fangirl crushes on John Krasinski and George Stoumboulopoulos.
292. You are so sweet, even your teeth are sensitive (hahaha).
293. You tell me that I smell nice, even when I sweat.
294. You are very methodical in comparison to emotional little me.
295. You have two computer screens for maximum capacity geekiness.
296. You always share a Dairy Queen Blizzard with me on the GO train.
297. You help me play through the hard parts of video games.
298. You scratch my back when I have an itch between my shoulder blades.
299. You spy on our neighbours, the Bitchersons, through the mail slot.
300. You put the groceries away.
301. You told me to quit that admin job that was making me miserable.
302. You watch shows about war on the History Channel and tell me the interesting bits.
303. You are so cute, one of my cousins thought you were on TV.
304. You notice if I do something to my hair or am wearing a new outfit.
305. You snore sometimes.
306. You don’t mind if I snore.
307. You always need my help figuring out the tip.
308. You tickle me until I cry laughing.
309. You always drink a full carton of orange juice when you feel yourself getting sick.
310. You are self-conscious about your morning breath.
311. You never leave the seat up.
312. You love Oreos.
313. You poke me in the bum when we’re walking down the hallway of our building (and then feign innocence).
314. You love finding little things for crafts at Active Surplus.
315. You talk about writing a musical about the Active Surplus man.
316. Your earring is cute.
317. You made fun of me for accidentally shoplifting.
318. You are always very careful about playing your video games with the sound on mute so I can sleep.
319. You ate the second spiciest meal at Salad King and didn’t die or have massive stomach problems.
320. You are careful to trim your beard so I don’t get beard burn from kissing you.
321. You wait in line with me while I get my birth control pills at the pharmacy.
322. You always open the door to the bathroom while I’m in the tub so Beebs can get in.
323. You sit through What Not To Wear marathons with me.
324. You always drink out of the same green Renaissance Festival mug.
325. You say Please and Thank You when I refill your coffee cup.
326. You were brave and attempted to teach me how to fish.
327. You took me out on my first canoe ride.
328. You enjoy the absurd.
329. You rubbed your teacher’s head when you graduated high school.
330. You send me funny little e-mails with links you think I might like.
331. You always make sure I get the flavours I like when we split a pack of freezies.
332. You swing on swing sets with me.
333. You ate too much custard that time we went for Indian food.
334. You like Beeswax candles.
335. You think old school Offspring is awesome.
336. You loathe “The DaVinci Code” and all other Dan Brown titles with a passion.
337. You always save the last of the milk so I can have tea.
338. You run your fingers through my hair when I’m not feeling well.
339. You have an awesome nose.
340. You eat Chef Boyardee Ravioli.
341. You know how to sew.
342. You don’t like mushrooms.
343. You don’t mind when sometimes after I buy juice, I make us walk all over the place so I can find a recycling bin to put the bottle in.
344. You like going for long walks in the park.
345. You aren’t weird about admitting other guys are attractive.
346. You watch zombie flicks with me even though you hate horror movies.
347. You honour your commitments.
348. You have a nice voice.
349. You don’t hold a grudge.
350. You love your family and want to live close to them.
351. You pursued and achieved your goal of working in the games industry.
352. You sometimes pretend to be a robot and respond to me in crazy beeping language.
353. You don’t smoke.
354. You paint beautifully.
355. You randomly quote Clone High.
356. You think I have nice legs.
357. You like playing Frisbee.
358. You never have to try on clothes and you always look good. (Well okay, this one kind of burns me . . . j/k).
359. You get a little scared when you play Doom with the lights off.
360. You make Beebs do little dances to cheer me up.
361. You sold your watch to buy me combs for my hair (no, wait that wasn’t you, that was Gift of the Magi . . .).
362. You, in the words of Fleetwood Mac, make lovin’ fun.
363. You make my life make sense.
364. You are my best friend.
365. You are the only person I have ever been in a relationship with whom I have said “I love you” to.
366. You are the only person I will ever say “I love you” to.

See you tomorrow at the end of the aisle.
Yours for now and for always,
Miss (soon to be Mrs.) Hummingbird.”

And finally, the last sneak peek before I start going into the serious wedding recaps . . .

Us at the top of the aisle smiling like idiots at each other while our minister reads the welcome/introduction to our seated guests. We’re finally here and ready to go!

• Make My Decisions For Me
• Bridal Diseases