RSVPs By The Numbers
July 9th, 2008 @ 9:30 am by Mrs. Tiramisu
I know I was desperate for this information when I was trying to figure out the guest list, so I hope this helps someone!
We invited 252 people to our wedding. One week after our RSVPs were due, we have 184 attending, 64 not attending, and 4 that we still haven’t heard from (and at this point we assume aren’t coming). So that’s a yes rate of 73%. If you break it down by in-state versus out-of-state, 63/74 Mainers will be coming (85%), and 121/178 out-of-staters will be coming (68%). And yes, if you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m a big dork.
We offered an email address option for RSVP’ing, but only 14 people took us up on it- 11 to say they were coming, 3 to say they weren’t, and one second cousin to say “thank you very much but actually my husband and I are divorcing and won’t be attending” (eeek).
Out of the 184, exactly 92 are my guests, and 92 are Mr. Tiramisu’s! We’ll be filling the church up nice and evenly 
Oh, and if you’re still on the fence about numbering your RSVP cards, or think it’s just something nice to do and not really necessary, take it from me:
I thought I was keeping it simple with “Name(s)” and not that ever-confusing “M” business!
We were expecting right around the number we got, but budgeted for 225 just in case (and to hopefully set ourselves up for a little extra honeymoon cash!). We expected a lot of our no responses, but were each disappointed and surprised by a few (Mr. T’s Godfather, and a couple of my good friends from grad school).
Were you surprised by what you found in your RSVP envelopes?
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25 Responses to “RSVPs By The Numbers”
We’re working on our invitations right now, and I asked FI if we should number them. We also have lines for “Names.” He said no, it shouldn’t be a problem. I just told him about your post and he said, “How do they miss that???” Good question. Looks like I’ll be numbering!
This is totally off topic, but I like your RSVP cards! Very cute.
I am ALWAYS surprised by the people who come to things and the people who don’t. You got a great number! Have fun!
You are SO not a dork. I did the exact math you did, but to try to estimate the number of people coming! (Invites go out next month.)
This post was great, thanks!
You HAVE to number the response cards! I also thought maybe I wouldn’t because it seemed to just add another step to the envelope stuffing process. But I’ve only gotten about 20 RSVPs back so far and I’ve used the numbers a few times already! If nothing else, it takes out the guess work and detective work of deciphering handwriting.
So far I’ve had a couple of disappointments. First a bridesmaid decided she couldn’t make it after being sent to a foreign office for work, then a cousin that I’m very close to decided to go abroad right before the wedding, some close family friends won’t be coming, which has disappointed my family. Even though I am disappointed, I just try to remember that while the wedding is MY focus and the most important thing in MY life right now, that’s not the case for everyone else. So I feel disappointed, then think about all of the tons and tons of other people that love me that WILL be there and the fact that I will be getting MARRIED! and then I move on. That’s all you can do, I think.
Love the breakdown! I sent my invitations about a month ago and I still have until the end of the month until the RSVP deadline. We just sent a blank card that had “RSVP” on top and then at the very bottom we had “kindly reply by the 31st of July” on the bottom, so it left room for people’s comments which some people took advantage of, some didn’t. DEFINTELY number your cards if you haven’t yet. I totally second (or third) that motion. Even if you don’t have blanks, handwritting can be hard to read. Some of my “favorite responses have been just “Mr. & Mrs. Smith.” That’s it… no, “will attend” no, “can’t make it.” Just the names… I assume that means they are coming but still…. I gave you so much space… can you write yes or no at least! Geesh!
Ahhh. I cannot wait to find out who says no. I hope quite a few people do. I’d say over half are out-of-towners and our date is so close to Christmas, so we guestimated a higher number wouldn’t attend. Well, every time FMIL talks to some of her O-O-Ts they say, “Oh we can’t wait, we’ll be there!” I just want to say, “NO! Please don’t!” If they all come, there will be no place to sit and eat. Haha…
Thanks for the tip on numbering RSVPs! I will file that one away.
Great post! Thanks!
I am also planning for some no’s in terms of budgeting. I have so many other areas I would like to distribute that money towards!
We’ve gotten 2 with no names too. I even mentioned to my mom when we were stuffing the invites that we should number them, but we both agreed we hope people are smart enough to put their name on it. Not so much!
I think you are safe to assume those with no names are men though A woman would not do that.
My invites are coming today (HURRAY!). Thank you for reminding me to number them!
THANK YOU for sharing your numbers! We’re in a very similar situation, and it helps a ton!!!
love, a fellow nerd 
this is so helpful! I’m planning an OOT wedding in california from philly. as we’re finalizing the guest list, we really don’t nkow how many people is a reasonable amount to invite since we don’t nkow how many to expect, esp since most of our guests are OOT guests also. you are amazing!
I appreciate your numbers. I’ve been trying to guess-timate mine. I took # invited, and made three excel columns. One for definitely not coming, one for definitely coming, one for could go either way. I added the definitely coming and 80% of the could go either ways…should be interesting to see what happens (ps…my fiance and i are BOTH engineers…can’t get much more dork than that!) Thanks for the post!
Thanks so much for sharing this; I really appreciate it and it helps put my disappointment in perspective. We invited 438 and it looks like we’ll have about 200 or so (with a minimum of 250). We have lots of OOT folks too but I’m still surprised about the number of regrets. And about how many people (130 or so!) haven’t responded yet.
I wonder if part of the issue is your stylized “swoosh” after the Name(s). It’s really pretty, but doesn’t really catch the eye as a blank that needs to be filled in. I numbered each and every one of our 120 RSVP cards (on the back with the invisible pen) but not one came back without a name. We are right at 70% acceptance, although I had not thought to break it down by in and out of state. We had a lot of out of state invites, so it would be interesting to look at those numbers.
I love that you broke down the numbers for us- I’ve been struggling with numbers since my engagement. Funny how no one put their names in the space! How funny. M_________ always confused my fiance. I have taken to filling out response cards addressed to him because of it…
Shoot, I just sent my invites yesterday and didn’t number the RSVPs. I hope people write their name. Any suggestions on what to do when RSVPs come back with no name? \
haha…and my stepmom thought I was crazy for numbering my RSVP cards 
I appreciate your stats dorkdom as well Miss Tiramisu - I would be curious to get a bunch of different people’s stats and figure out % likely for different circumstances (% likely to attend destination wedding; different sizes of weddings; etc.)
I actually numbered my rsvp ENVELOPES (the inside flap) so as to not mar my invites. I wanted to go the invisible ink route, but didn’t want to fork over more money for the pen and black light, heh heh.
Becc80908 We have about the same numbers that you do, and sadly I think it is because it costs so much to travel right now! We’ve found that if our friends can make it, many are opting to not bring their significant other. Stupid economy!
@Heather: I agree, that’s a huge part of it. We’re also getting married on Long Island and while we negotiated accommodations, they’re not cheap by any means. Folks who were pretty sure they would be able to make it wound up not being able to afford it.
Well, I’ve been living under a rock! I would have never thought of numbering the RSVP cards (and I’ve never noticed invites we’ve received being numbered). I’ll be adding that to my “To do” list pronto!
funny because a few months ago i got an invite and was wondering what the heck the little number 6 on the back ment, and I asked FI and he knew…
definately a good idea to number cause I have NO IDEA what those little M__ still means 
thank you for this reminder!! I just about sent my rsvp’s out without numbers. I’m now pulling them out of their envelopes and numbering them. You just saved me!!!
Mrs. Tiramisu, Annapolis, MD/Maine
Age and Occupation: 26, Eye Doctor
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Project Manager/Real Estate Management grad student
Engagement Date: May 15, 2007
Wedding Date: July, 2008
Blogging Since: March 4, 2008
Venue: Oceanfront lawn and tent
About Me: I was born and raised in Maine, now living in Annapolis, Maryland and planning a hometown wedding from afar. I’m nothing short of obsessed with wedding planning, and am loving the do-it-yourself madness that has now taken over my life! As for me, I’m a craft-loving, martini-drinking, girly-girl who loves traveling, photography, my schnauzer, and above all, spending time with Mr. Tiramisu.
I had planned on numbering my RSVP cards and then tottaly forgot when the time came. We already received one RSVP card with no name! I agree with you Miss T, the numbering would have been worth the extra effort!