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Mrs. Cream Puff, San Francisco Bay Area Age and Occupation: 25, Illustrator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 31, Merchandise Planner Engagement Date: May 27, 2007 Wedding Date: August, 2008 Blogging Since: February 7, 2008 Venue: Ceremony at Crissy Field and Reception at the Green Room About Me: I never dreamed about my wedding as a little girl because I was too busy playing in the mud or pretending to be Martha Stewart–but now that it's here, I'm having a fabulous time DIYing everything in sight! We’re planning a very fun multicultural wedding (I'm Jewish and Mr. Cream Puff is Chinese), filled with as many personal details as I can muster.
About Mrs. Cream Puff

A Puffy-Eyed Meltdown

July 14th, 2008 @ 6:03 pm by Mrs. Cream Puff

Wow, I am totally mortified.

Friday was, overall, a horrible day.

It started out in the morning. I was facing a packed day, with work and wedding things to accomplish. I was driving down a busy street in San Francisco, on my way to have my eyebrows done (very important, haha), when I’m hit by another car. Yay. I get out and look at the side of my car, and it is messed up on three different panels. Luckily the woman who hit me (she tried to change lanes without looking) pulled over, but I really do not want to be dealing with this right now–especially since she specifically didn’t admit fault at the scene. Now we get to pay a $500 deductible which we may or may not get back (pending our insurance’s investigation), 3 weeks before the wedding.

After I spent an hour on the phone with our insurance agent, I came home to find an ominous email from one of my bridesmaids. When I was finally able to talk to her on the phone, she told me that she has to drop out of our wedding for health and monetary reasons. I was totally understanding about this and didn’t get upset with her. It would have been nice to know this earlier than three weeks before the wedding, but I am trying to take things in stride these days. I had to take FMIL Puff on an errand, so I tried to forget about it (sort of).

Then, about an hour later, I realized that the programs I’d slaved over are now printed with the wrong information. I’d dropped them off at the shoe place in our town about a week earlier to be bound, so I decided to stop by to see if they were done. I was hoping they weren’t, but had a feeling they were. As a preface (I was planning to post about this eventually), I made a few concessions by having the programs bound at the shoe shop. First off, they only had a straight stitch, and secondly, the machine they used left some little grooves on the paper. At that point, I was over it and just wanted them done.

I went into the shoe shop with FMIL Puff, and the super nice wife of the shoe guy was very excited to tell me that they were done. My heart dropped a little, but I decided not to care. She goes to get the programs and shows them to me, and they are bound with tan thread. I said, “oh no, they’re the wrong color,” really calmly. So she calls the shoe guy over, and he’s a little bit argumentative with me at first, telling me that I never told him I wanted black (which I soooo did). Obviously it was a miscommunication.

I realized that there was nothing to be done about it, and that it really didn’t matter. So I said, “you know, it’s not that big of a deal, I’d just like to pay for them.” He obviously felt bad about it, which in turn made me feel bad about making him feel bad.

I could feel myself getting a little bit emotional and really wanted to leave the store. I took out my credit card and asked him how much I owed him. He said something like, “is it really a big deal?” He didn’t say it in a confrontational way–more like a concerned way. I said, “you know, it’s not. It’s just that I’ve had a really bad day.”

And at the end of that sentence, I start to cry. Oh yes, that’s right. I start to cry in the middle of the shoe shop. Which of course makes him feel even worse, which only makes me cry harder. FMIL Puff, standing beside me, looks at me and says, “Hmm. You easy to cry.” I say to her, through snot (lovely, huh?), “I am not easy to cry. I have been planning this entire wedding by myself for a year and a half, and no one understands why I am stressed out.” Snot. I am trying to gather myself, but I totally can’t. I keep trying to give the guy my credit card to get out of there, but he won’t take it.

So there I am, crying in the middle of the shoe shop. A full-on Ugly Cry. And I can’t stop. I have been trying to handle the stress of my life for the past however-many-weeks, and it all came pouring out in the middle of the shoe shop, in front of the shoe guy, his wife, and apparently his whole family. I. was. mortified.

Suddenly I am surrounded by people. A girl about my age asks me if she can give me a hug. She tells me that she got married two years ago, so she knows exactly what I’m going through. Another woman in the store says her daughter was recently married and that it’s really hard. They were so nice to me. The girl even got me a kleenex.

I turned back to the shoe guy and asked him once again if I could pay. I tell him that they look nice and that it doesn’t matter. I hope I told him how appreciative I was (I will definitely go back and thank them when I’m not a total mess). He took my credit card and barely charged me anything for all the work he had done. He was so nice. I was finally able to leave the store with FMIL Puff, who was totally bewildered and still could not figure out why I was crying.

I went home and cried some more and it felt SO GOOD. So good. I called Momma Puff, who laughed at me and made me feel even better. Then I went out to dinner with Mr. Cream Puff, and he bought me a gigantic margarita, which also helped. It was blue. And then the next night, we went camping, which helped even more.

I am now over it. The only thing that is still bothering me is the unknown of the car accident. I’m also a little perturbed that my bridesmaid couldn’t have told me earlier that she wasn’t planning to come. But alas, there’s nothing to do about it at this point. :-/ I’ll tell you this: there is no way in HELL I intend to reprint any of those programs! Those suckers are done.

I can tell that I am getting to the end of this process now, because I’m having meltdowns (apparently I don’t handle prolonged stress very well!) and I have no desire to fix any of my DIY projects. It’s a good thing I didn’t leave any of them to the last minute, or I would have let it all go. At this point, the only part of wedding planning I’m going to miss is checking the mail!

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58 Responses to “A Puffy-Eyed Meltdown”

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1.
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Guest
Jenniferb

hugs, hugs all around. more hugs. And more blue margaritas. sheesh. I’ll come to SF to hug you and drink blue drinks with you.

 
2.
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Bee
Miss Pomegranate (message)  957 posts, Busy bee

Ooh. I know the woes of crying in front of a random audience due to wedding stress. I’m so sorry sweets! I hate that! Big hugs to you - one day after the wedding you’ll look back and simply shake your head. Until then, hang in there!

 
3.
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Member
l3r0wnEyedGurL (message)  129 posts, Blushing bee

A big hug for you and good thoughts coming your way. I hope all the car stuff works out in your favor (and soon!)

Just hang in there, b/c in the after glow of your FABULOUS the wedding, you’ll probably be able to laugh and tell the dramatic story of your day gone wrong.

 
4.
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Bee
Miss Gingerbread (message)  644 posts, Busy bee

Aww, Cream Puff, big hugs! Poor you. That’s the sucky part about stress build up. You can’t control when the dam is gonna burst. Sometimes crying is the best remedy when one thing piles on top of another and another. It’s like the body’s way of releasing stress. I’m sorry about the car accident. They always seem to happen at the worst time (though when is a good time, really?) We got hit when we were in DC for my graduation and my whole family was in the minivan. It totally sucked. Thankfully, no one was hurt and we even had a witness who came in real handy when the driver tried to deny she was at fault to the insurance company. Anyway, they say bad things happen in threes, so I think you are in the clear now :)

 
5.
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Guest
Inna

Hey Miss Cream Puff,

HUGS. I’m sorry you have to deal with a car accident in the midst of this stress! I’m a full time wedding planner in San Francisco (and a bride to be!) so if there is anything I can help you with (even a hug or a drinking pal) please let me know - I would be so happy to take some of that stress off of you!

*Just to be clear this is a friendly offer to help - I’m not trying to charge you for anything!!

Just email me at inna at outofthewoodsevents.com and I’ll be another shoulder for you!

 
6.
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skm

awww….thinking of you, you poor thing. I hope you took a little comfort that a few girls around you knew just what you were going through…aww. I hope you had fun camping. Where did you guys decide to go? I can’t wait to see your wedding pictures, CP. You’ve worked so hard, it’s going to be beautiful. And booooo (!) to your BM. You deserve better friends than that. :( Good luck these next couple of weeks…we’re pulling for you :)

 
7.
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Mrs. Caramel

oh my gosh!!! you poor thing… that is a LOT to handle in such short amount of time!! Don’t worry… 3 weeks is still a good amount of time away for you to fix things and make things right. But I totally feel for you!! Go to the spa! Spend 1 minute just staring at a point and breathing… It really does help.

 
8.
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Member
emmyleeee (message)  64 posts, Worker bee

god, i just want to give you a big hug and a drink. i’m in a similar spot … just with 8 months to go.

but in just a few weeks, you’ll have such a beautiful day, and i can’t wait to see pictures!! :)

 
9.
KateMW
Hostess
KateMW (message)  2,704 posts, Sugar bee

Oh hun, I’m so sorry. Have some spray whip cream, that really seems to make you very happy! ;) I know how you feel. I get like that with every event I plan. I have a freak out very close to the day and then I feel better. {{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}

 
10.
tea
Member
tea (message)  7,263 posts, Bee Keeper

oh no! i’m sorry friday wasn’t a very good day. and you know, i think almost anyone would break down like that even if they didn’t have a wedding to plan! so take heart.

 
11.
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Laura

You poor girl. FMIL can be irritating. but atleast you future hubby is understanding * hug*

 
12.
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Mrs.W to-be

Big hugs to you! I am right in the same freakin boat with you right now. I had a huge meltdown and totally lost it while I was shopping with my mom this weekend, too much stress for to long. The way I look at it is 16 months of planning and one meltdown, that is a good average. :) Stay strong, and just remember in a short while you will be married to the person you love.

 
13.
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stefiv (message)  57 posts, Worker bee

Oh man, I feel for you. But reading your post made ME feel better because I thought I was alone in having random crying breakdowns from the stress of wedding planning. Hope everything works out for you.

 
14.
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Guest
Tara

Oh, you poor thing! I would have cried too. I’m glad you had such nice people around :) And that you got the rest of the tears out and a big blue margarita — I bet that was the best margarita ever.

Feel better!

 
15.
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Guest
Julieulie

Aww, hugs. But you know what the BEST part is? In three weeks, you will be ALL DONE! And you will get to look back, and laugh, and NEVER HAVE TO PLAN ANOTHER WEDDING AGAIN!
And maybe, someday, you’ll even miss all the planning (apparently, some people do. I, for one, got married almost 2 months ago, and do not miss the DIY insanity.)

 
16.
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indecisivebride (message)  338 posts, Helper bee

I’m so sorry you had a rough day…that is a lot to handle in one day! I don’t have anything to say except that you have already done so much for your wedding with so many creative, unique, and personalized touches that you deserve a break! I honestly think no one will notice the little imperfections…they will just be in awe of all the creative ideas you incorporated into your wedding. Your wedding is already so awesome!

Sorry about your bridesmaid…it’s hard to give advice on this. If she’s a really dear friend then I’d give her the benefit of the doubt…maybe she had some really serious financial and health problems that she isn’t going into detail with you because she doesn’t want to give you additional stress so close to the wedding. If she’s a constantly flakely friend, then that just sucks and it’s her loss for being a bad friend.

It’s hard to do, but I’d be thankful for all the other remaining bridesmaids who are excited to stand by your side and be part of your wedding day…some people don’t even have any close girlfriends they can count on and ask to stand up there with them…you, on the other hand, have an entire color pallet full of close girlfriends :)

 
17.
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Bee
Miss Avocado (message)  1,543 posts, Bumble bee

I LOVE big fat ugly cries like that. Not because I look hot when it happens, but because I feel so relieved when it is all over. I don’t think you are easy to cry, the best of us would break down over this whole situation!

 
18.
frenchbulldog
Bee
frenchbulldog (message)  7,730 posts, Bee Keeper

MORE big hugs for you! I could read the cry coming b/c that is EXACTLY what I would have done.
Congrats on 3 MORE WEEKS! HOW EXCITING!!!

 
19.
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Mary

Oh no! So sorry about the wreck and all the rest….I am cheering for you and hope that everything gets better soon. (hugs)

 
20.
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McG (message)  117 posts, Blushing bee

@Miss Avocado:

I concur Miss Avocado… ugly crys are the best. Miss cream Puff I know exactly how you feel… I had my ugly cry moment last month when things just kept building up and I just started crying to a complete stranger over the phone (I was speaking to my jeweller, they had to re-cast my ring 4 times). Big hugs to you :)

 
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Mrs. Cream Puff
Mrs. Cream Puff

Mrs. Cream Puff, San Francisco Bay Area Age and Occupation: 25, Illustrator Fiance's Age and Occupation: 31, Merchandise Planner Engagement Date: May 27, 2007 Wedding Date: August, 2008 Blogging Since: February 7, 2008 Venue: Ceremony at Crissy Field and Reception at the Green Room About Me: I never dreamed about my wedding as a little girl because I was too busy playing in the mud or pretending to be Martha Stewart–but now that it's here, I'm having a fabulous time DIYing everything in sight! We’re planning a very fun multicultural wedding (I'm Jewish and Mr. Cream Puff is Chinese), filled with as many personal details as I can muster.

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