Mrs. Cream Puff, San Francisco Bay Area
Age and Occupation: 25, Illustrator
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 31, Merchandise Planner
Engagement Date: May 27, 2007
Wedding Date: August, 2008
Blogging Since: February 7, 2008
Venue: Ceremony at Crissy Field and Reception at the Green Room
About Me: I never dreamed about my wedding as a little girl because I was too busy playing in the mud or pretending to be Martha Stewart–but now that it's here, I'm having a fabulous time DIYing everything in sight! We’re planning a very fun multicultural wedding (I'm Jewish and Mr. Cream Puff is Chinese), filled with as many personal details as I can muster.
Program Contents: Jewish Traditions
July 16th, 2008 @ 2:59 pm by Mrs. Cream Puff
Wow, you guys, thank you SO much for all of your support the other day. I feel significantly better after having a meltdown (hahaha) and now things are back to being all business. 
The programs are finished (pictures to come a bit later), and even though they are printed with the wrong information, I’m just going to leave it. I obviously can’t un-sew them, and I’m definitely not willing to start from scratch. I don’t even feel like putting little pieces of paper inside to correct the error. My friend Amanda is going to step into my other bridesmaid’s place (thank you Amanda!), so no one is going to wonder why there are only four instead of five. I am really excited to have Amanda in my bridal party–she’s such a great friend.
Anyway, to follow the intro and Chinese Traditions for the program wording, here’s the Jewish Traditions wording. I hope some of you find it helpful!
Jewish Traditions
A traditional Jewish wedding is full of meaningful rituals, symbolizing the beauty of the relationship of husband and wife,
as well as their obligations to each other and to the Jewish people. During the ceremony, please take note of the following traditions:
The wedding ceremony takes place under the chuppah (or canopy), which symbolizes the home to be built and shared by the couple. We have asked our parents to hold the four poles of the chuppah as a symbol of their support and joy in the life we have chosen to build together. Sara’s mother and Aunt Maggie have created this very personal chuppah, which includes the Jewish Star of David and the Chinese symbol for double happiness. Under the chuppah the bride and groom wear no jewelry; their mutual commitment is based on who they are as people, not on any material possessions. The groom wears a yarmulke (skull cap), symbolizing Jewish identity and loyalty; for our wedding, this signifies Yorkey’s support of Sara’s history and family.
Two blessings are recited over the wine, which is served in a Kiddush cup (wine cup). The kiddush cup used in Yorkey and Sara’s ceremony belonged to Sara’s paternal grandparents, Anne and Jacob Olsher. A second cup of wine is poured, and the ’Seven Blessings’ are recited. These blessings praise God for creating human beings, and for making the groom and bride as happy as Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden. The blessings declare, ’The sound of joy, the sound of celebration, the voice of the groom, the voice of the bride.’ The Seven Blessings will be recited by Sara’s uncle, Dr. Robert ___. After the blessings, the bride and groom drink the wine.
The bride and groom place wedding rings on one another’s index fingers, rather than ring fingers. The Jewish people believe that the index finger is the most direct route to the heart.
In addition to a marriage license, the couple signs a Jewish marriage contract called a ketubah. Traditionally this is done in private; however, Yorkey and Sara signed it earlier in the day, directly after the Chinese tea ceremony. The ketubah, a piece of art created by Sara, will hang in their home as a reminder of their love and commitment to one another. If you are curious, it will be displayed at the reception.
The ceremony ends with the groom breaking a glass, which is wrapped in cloth. This serves to remind us of two very important aspects of a marriage. First, the bride and groom should consider these marriage vows as permanent and final as the breaking of this glass is unchangeable. It is also a warning of the fragility of marriage. Sometimes a single thoughtless act or breach of trust can damage a marriage in ways that are very difficult to undo—just as it would be so difficult to undo the breaking of the glass. Knowing that this marriage is permanent, the bride and groom should strive to
show each other the love and respect befitting their spouse and the love of their life.
Join us in wishing the bride and groom your congratulations by shouting ’Mazel Tov!’ when the glass is broken!
18 Responses to “Program Contents: Jewish Traditions”
Wow! I have learned something new today! I’ve never ever heard that you’re not supposed to wear jewelry under a chuppah. My husband and I were both raised conservative and never heard this; my mother was raised Orthodox and I called her and she didn’t even know about it. I just went and poked through wedding pictures of my cousins and sure enough — they were all wearing jewelery standing under their chuppahs. Now I feel like a sham!
Thanks for teaching me something new — I only wish I had known about it 6 weeks ago!!
Wow - so interesting! I’m not Jewish, but the traditions and celebrations you’re describing make me want to have a Jewish wedding!
I love how you have explained the traditions of both cultures you and your fiance bring to your marriage.
I really like how you arranged this, like it tells the story of the ceremony. I had arranged ours like FAQs, but I think doing it in prose is much more effective. I’m going to be doing some program editing when I get home tonight!
So - will you continue to wear the ring on your index finger? Or does it get moved after the ceremony?
@Starry-Eyed Barefoot Bride: It gets moved after the ceremony to the left hand ring finger, just like normal.
What a great description of your ceremony!
PS - Glad you’re feeling better!
Question. Did your future hubby agree right away to wear a yarmulke or was there coaxing involved? I’m jewish and my future hubby is catholic. the ceremony will be a mix of jewish and catholic traditions. We will have yarmulkes for the guests to wear, (if they chose). The grooms mean are a mix of jewish and non jewish. I really want my hubby to wear a yarmulke to make everything look more cohesive, (and that way all the groomsmen will wear one too). He doesn’t want to because he’s not the one who’s Jewish. But I think if he doesn’t then that just opens the door for the non jewish groomsmen not to wear one either and then it all looks sloppy. I think i’ve tried to say everything i can to convince him to wear one but he’s not budging. Any suggestions? this means a lot to me.
@MissEsq: @MissEsq: Perhaps you could explain to him something similar to what Miss CP put in her program; that even though he is not Jewish you would like him to wear a yarmulke as a sign of support for your history and family. Maybe in return you could also include a cross or rosary around your bouquet as a symbol of your support for his Catholic family and history? Something like what Mrs. Bird of Paradise put on her bouquet:
http://www.weddingbee.com/2006/12/06/november-eighteenth/
http://www.weddingbee.com/2006/12/04/something/
MissEsq — have you tried asking the groomsmen themselves if they will wear one? Even the non-Jewish ones may be happy to wear one during the ceremony if you ask, and then your husband may agree to go along, if he is the only one who will not be wearing one.
Also, do you knit or crochet? If so, what about making him a yarmulke yourself? That way, rather than just a yarmulke with no significance to him, as he isn’t Jewish, it’s something that was hand made just FOR him by you (or your mother, or someone else of importance, if you don’t knit/crochet but know someone who does). I crocheted the yarmulkes for ALL 95 male guests at my wedding and while I would absolute NOT recommend that for anyone, you could certainly make one special one just for your husband! I just kind of figured out a pattern on my own, but if you’re interested I could try to write it down and send it to you.
thank you for the advice ladies. I don’t knit but I definitely know people who do and that sounds like a fabulous idea.
In an effort to not alienate either side of the family we’re keeping things non religious and just incorporating traditions, (cultural and religious). We’ve cut out a lot of Catholic and Jewish traditions that are just a little too religious for us. I really didn’t think THIS would be the point we cannot agree on. He went for the chuppah why wouldn’t he go for this? haha
julieulie : major props to you for knitting all those yarmulkes. I can’t even begin to fathon how much time and effort went into that.
@MissEsq: It’s always the little things that you don’t THINK will be a huge deal that wind up being major. I’m a scientist — none of the women I work with changed their name. We wound up arguing for MONTHS over the point, because in his eyes, not changing my name meant that I didn’t love him. Ugh.
Send me an email at julie.barber at gmail if you’d like some more information on the yarmulkes!
@MissEsq: Is your venue non-religious? If so, yarmulkes aren’t required.
I actually see where your FI is coming from — asking someone to wear something is really different than asking someone to participate in a tradition (like getting married under a chuppah). Imagine how you would feel if he asked you to wear a cross? I know that would make me uncomfortable.
I guess you just have to decide what’s more important to you: making sure everything is cohesive or making sure everyone is comfortable.
I didn’t realize there were so many Jewish traditions in a wedding. I guess we just cut to the breaking of the glass.
Rebecca: I definitely see where my FI, and you are coming from about comfort. He’s never expressed that he would be uncomfortable with it he just always says “but i”m not jewish”. If he asked me to incorporate a cross of significant meaning into my bouquet i definitely would. However, I think wearing a cross or star of david, which are explicitely religious, (and very much not our style) is very different than showing reverance and respect for another religion. I know that in the few instances that FI cam to a jewish religious service with me he has worn one…not as a sign of his alignment with the religion, but out of respect. In fact I know that every jewish or half jewish wedding I’ve been to, non jewish men have worn a yarmulke and not even thought twice about it.
Here’s an exerpt from Wikipedia about yarmulkes/kippahs:
In modern contexts, it is also common for non-religious Jews or even non-Jews to wear a simple kippah, or to cover their heads as a sign of respect, when present at Jewish religious services or at ostensibly Jewish sites, such as Yad Vashem and the Western Wall. Male Jews and non-Jews alike are asked to don a skullcap in the vicinity of the Western Wall, and returnable skullcaps are provided for this use.
@MissEsq: I guess I don’t really understand then. If he has worn one out of respect before, what’s stopping him now?
rebecca: i think the difference to him is that the previous times were at an actual temple/religious services whereas this is a social situation.
Thanks for sharing, Miss CP! I really like your explanation of the glass breaking tradition. I’ve read others that explain it as a commemoration of an ancient temple that was destroyed. FI and I were a little wary of incorporating this tradition with a sad overtone. But your with your explanation, it is much more fitting!
