Mrs. Cupcake, Philadelphia
Age and Occupation: 27, Graphic Designer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Construction Project Manager
Engagement Date: February 10, 2007
Wedding Date: September, 2008
Blogging Since: December 7, 2007
Venue: The Desmond Hotel in Malvern, PA
About Me: Mr. Cupcake and I hit it off at a Halloween party and immediately began a long-distance relationship. After two years, he moved to my neck of the woods, and a year and a half after that, he proposed at the “place we fell in love.” I am a true perfectionist who enjoys designing and creating more work for myself, so wedding planning is my perfect outlet. Mr. Cupcake and I are both old souls, and we hope to weave that aspect of our personalities into our wedding day.
Handing Over the Reigns
July 17th, 2008 @ 9:30 am by Mrs. Cupcake
Yesterday was a jam-packed day of wedding appointments for Momma Cupcake and me. I took the day off of work so we could have meetings with the florist at 11 a.m., the baker at 1:30 p.m., and the catering manager at our venue at 3:00 p.m. In a matter of 6 hours, I feel like we got so much accomplished!
Although a little chaotic, I am really glad that I arranged things this way. With about two months left until the wedding, having all of these big meetings on the same day forced me to get organized with all of my final ideas a little earlier than I may have otherwise, since, aside from the catering manager at our venue, I likely won’t meet with the florist and baker again before the wedding. It was also really helpful to have vendor conversations fresh in my mind while meeting with the catering manager, so no detail goes overlooked.
I am not going to lie — I was definitely up until 1:30 in the morning the night before, making sure I printed all of the right photos and wrote down all of the questions I needed to ask. But, the feeling of having handed over the reigns to at least two of my vendors does feel somewhat blissful, albeit a little scary!
One thing about wedding planning that has been a little difficult for me has been putting trust in others to make my visions a reality. I am a detail-obsessed perfectionist who would usually rather slave over a project for hours by myself than ask someone for help and risk that it won’t be done “my” way. But at this point, ladies, let’s face it: I am exhausted. It is time to not only start asking for help and delegating, but it’s time to trust that our vendors will pull through and pull off a beautiful wedding that is uniquely ours. I have given them every ounce of information that I could possibly give them, so it’s time to take a deep breath, take a step back, and leave the rest to the professionals.
Have you had a hard time handing over the reigns to your vendors?
8 Responses to “Handing Over the Reigns”
I completely understand your anxiety. I told my mom a few months ago that I did not realize how controlling I really was until I planned my own wedding. I have this feeling that if I don’t personally do a task that it will not be done correctly but then I end up like you… exhausted and nerves shot. You’re not alone in this area, I guess we all just need to learn to have faith in people. Good Luck!
I watched an episode of “Who’s wedding is it anyway” and there was a bride on there who had a hard time delegating some tasks to the vendors/wedding planner. Everything will work out, try not to stress. 
I’m definitely a “if you want something done right, do it yourself” kind of person. While IMO this attitude gives me a powerful work ethic, sometimes I really wish that I could turn it off. With the wedding planning, it’s been compounded with the fact that we’re geographically isolated from the people I would ask for help. But as the time crunch hits (2 weeks!), I’m handing out jobs left and right. Seeing examples - like Mrs Penguin’s helpers - has given me confidence to pass jobs onto others.
No matter what - it will all be okay. And not just okay - but AMAZING because you will be getting married! Just remember that cupcake!
Ugh, YES. I have major problems with letting other people do things. Even in school, I HATED group projects because I always had to pull the weight. I am NEVER confident in others’ (even professionals’) ability to get things done until they have proven to me multiple times that they will do things to my specifications.
Call me gunshy, but I have been disappointed one too many times and NOTHING makes me more frustrated (livid even) than the incompetence of others.
@Miss Cherry Pie: I was the same way in school… but I usually volunteered
Cupcake don’t put any more worries into the baker and florist. They’re professionals and they are going to make your day absolutely stunning!
i think you may have meant “reins” instead of “reigns”
I feel you! With our date approaching as well (late September), I feel we’ve really transitioned from planning to getting things done and I’ve let go of a lot of details. The baker has been confirmed and we’re going to let the florist do her thing - as long as there are the proper number of bouts, coursages, bouquets and arrangements, i’m a happy camper.
Just keep in mind that you hired these people for a reason and, at some point, you just have to trust them. In the case that the vision isn’t executed 100%, it is likely that only you, Momma Cupcake and your FI will know.
