Weddingbee

Previously in this series:

A Jasmine Wedding Story: Beauty and the Bride
A Jasmine Wedding Story: The Mehndi
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Fidgeting nervously with the beaded trim of my lehnga, I made small talk with our wedding coordinator’s assistant (and sister), Anna. She talked animatedly about clothes and tattoos, doing her best to keep the conversation light and bubbly. I tried to be equally responsive, but my nerves were getting the better of me. I’m sorry to say I wasn’t the best conversationalist at that moment!

Finally, Angel gave us word that it was time. Anna and I made our way downstairs to the lobby. My brother, who would be walking me down the aisle, was waiting for me. He grinned broadly and we exchanged a few big sister-little brother compliments about how great the other looked. Meanwhile, hotel guests stopped to congratulate me and even take photographs. It was as close as I was ever going to get to being a celebrity.

My brother and I passed the remaining time by debating whether I was supposed to stand to the left or the right of him- I said right because that’s my good side and he said left just to be contrary. Turns out, he was right.

Just as we put the “where do I stand” discussion to rest, the strains of Ek Ladki Ko Dekha** began to play. We knew it was time to begin. I gripped my brother’s arm as we slowly made our way into the brilliant sunlight of the garden.

The beautiful programs our wedding coordinator, Angel, created for us.


The incredible ceremony canopy by our florist, Commerce Flowers. I was completely unprepared for how stunning it was.

The aisle was lined with white chiffon and beautiful arrangements of roses, hydrangea, dahlia, and orchids.

It was a blurry sea of loved ones, all standing and smiling at me as we made our way to the stage.

**I loved the way my dresser, Madeeha Kibriya, pinned my dupatta.

I could clearly distinguish Mr. Jasmine in front of us, grinning broadly. He looked so happy that my heart ached; I’m one of those cursed people who can always see the darkness through the light, the melancholy in any joy. As beautiful as that moment was, I knew that it would be over quickly and I would never remember it as clearly or as strongly as I wanted. When I reached the stage, I hugged both sets of parents and sat down beside Mr. Jasmine. My hands folded into tight fists as I anxiously waited for the imam to begin.

A Muslim ceremony can be conducted in several different ways, so I don’t want to hold ours up as necessarily typical or representative of what a Muslim wedding is. We wanted something very concise and to the point; to that end, the imam did not disappoint. He gave a short talk on love and marriage. Mr. Jasmine then asked for my hand in marriage and I accepted. That was the extent of the Muslim portion of the ceremony. Although it wasn’t traditional, we also decided to exchange rings as a sign of our love and commitment.

Finally, we were pronounced husband and wife! We exchanged long garlands of carnations and roses as a symbol of our newfound marital status.

In reflecting upon our ceremony, my one regret is that I wasn’t as emotionally present as I could have been. My extended family is Christian and Mr. Jasmine’s is Muslim; we made a joint decision to have a Muslim ceremony. My parents and brother were incredibly supportive of our decision, but I knew that some extended family and family friends might have disapproved. I wasn’t prepared for how worried I would feel during the ceremony. While the imam was speaking, I was fraught with concern that people were offended or upset. I found myself frequently scanning the crowd for expressions of judgment and disapproval.

I really wish I had spent more time being in the moment. I have no control over the judgments that people might make about our lives and our spiritual choices. I can’t make people see the beauty in the life Mr. J and I are building together and the thoughtfulness and commitment behind our choices. But I did have control over my reactions. I wish I’d had the confidence to stand behind my choices and not let fear and worry cloud what should have been a beautiful, unblemished moment.

For those of you harboring similar fears: I encourage you to take a moment before the ceremony to relieve yourself of any worries, concerns, or expectations. Be truly in the moment and savor every second for its richness and beauty.

Up next: our cocktail hour

** Ek Ladki Ko Dekha is a beloved Indian film song with beautiful lyrics. An English translation can be found here

All photos courtesy of the supremely talented Marisa Holmes, with the exception of starred photos which were taken by family and friends.

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