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Mrs. Jasmine, Chicago/LA Age and Occupation: 25, Attorney Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Attorney Engagement Date: March 24, 2007 Wedding Date: June 7, 2008 Blogging Since: September 20, 2007 Venue: Hotel on the westside of Los Angeles About Me: I'm a happy-go-lucky, imaginative spirit trapped in the body of a lawyer. I love reading, shopping, dining out, and exploring my beloved adopted city of Chicago with my fiance. We're planning the wedding of our dreams in my hometown of Los Angeles and we're excited to incorporate our cherished Indian/Pakistani customs and traditions.
About Mrs. Jasmine

A Jasmine Wedding Story: We Do

July 21st, 2008 @ 11:47 am by Mrs. Jasmine

Previously in this series:

A Jasmine Wedding Story: Beauty and the Bride
A Jasmine Wedding Story: The Mehndi
_____________________________________________________

Fidgeting nervously with the beaded trim of my lehnga, I made small talk with our wedding coordinator’s assistant (and sister), Anna. She talked animatedly about clothes and tattoos, doing her best to keep the conversation light and bubbly. I tried to be equally responsive, but my nerves were getting the better of me. I’m sorry to say I wasn’t the best conversationalist at that moment!

Finally, Angel gave us word that it was time. Anna and I made our way downstairs to the lobby. My brother, who would be walking me down the aisle, was waiting for me. He grinned broadly and we exchanged a few big sister-little brother compliments about how great the other looked. Meanwhile, hotel guests stopped to congratulate me and even take photographs. It was as close as I was ever going to get to being a celebrity.

My brother and I passed the remaining time by debating whether I was supposed to stand to the left or the right of him- I said right because that’s my good side and he said left just to be contrary. Turns out, he was right. :)

Just as we put the “where do I stand” discussion to rest, the strains of Ek Ladki Ko Dekha** began to play. We knew it was time to begin. I gripped my brother’s arm as we slowly made our way into the brilliant sunlight of the garden.


The beautiful programs our wedding coordinator, Angel, created for us.


The incredible ceremony canopy by our florist, Commerce Flowers. I was completely unprepared for how stunning it was.


The aisle was lined with white chiffon and beautiful arrangements of roses, hydrangea, dahlia, and orchids.

It was a blurry sea of loved ones, all standing and smiling at me as we made our way to the stage.


**I loved the way my dresser, Madeeha Kibriya, pinned my dupatta.

I could clearly distinguish Mr. Jasmine in front of us, grinning broadly. He looked so happy that my heart ached; I’m one of those cursed people who can always see the darkness through the light, the melancholy in any joy. As beautiful as that moment was, I knew that it would be over quickly and I would never remember it as clearly or as strongly as I wanted. When I reached the stage, I hugged both sets of parents and sat down beside Mr. Jasmine. My hands folded into tight fists as I anxiously waited for the imam to begin.


A Muslim ceremony can be conducted in several different ways, so I don’t want to hold ours up as necessarily typical or representative of what a Muslim wedding is. We wanted something very concise and to the point; to that end, the imam did not disappoint. He gave a short talk on love and marriage. Mr. Jasmine then asked for my hand in marriage and I accepted. That was the extent of the Muslim portion of the ceremony. Although it wasn’t traditional, we also decided to exchange rings as a sign of our love and commitment.


Finally, we were pronounced husband and wife! We exchanged long garlands of carnations and roses as a symbol of our newfound marital status.


In reflecting upon our ceremony, my one regret is that I wasn’t as emotionally present as I could have been. My extended family is Christian and Mr. Jasmine’s is Muslim; we made a joint decision to have a Muslim ceremony. My parents and brother were incredibly supportive of our decision, but I knew that some extended family and family friends might have disapproved. I wasn’t prepared for how worried I would feel during the ceremony. While the imam was speaking, I was fraught with concern that people were offended or upset. I found myself frequently scanning the crowd for expressions of judgment and disapproval.

I really wish I had spent more time being in the moment. I have no control over the judgments that people might make about our lives and our spiritual choices. I can’t make people see the beauty in the life Mr. J and I are building together and the thoughtfulness and commitment behind our choices. But I did have control over my reactions. I wish I’d had the confidence to stand behind my choices and not let fear and worry cloud what should have been a beautiful, unblemished moment.

For those of you harboring similar fears: I encourage you to take a moment before the ceremony to relieve yourself of any worries, concerns, or expectations. Be truly in the moment and savor every second for its richness and beauty.

Up next: our cocktail hour

** Ek Ladki Ko Dekha is a beloved Indian film song with beautiful lyrics. An English translation can be found here

All photos courtesy of the supremely talented Marisa Holmes, with the exception of starred photos which were taken by family and friends.

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23 Responses to “A Jasmine Wedding Story: We Do”

1.
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Guest
Linzerella

Great advice - I’m worried about this too, being emotionally present and in the moment.

You and Mr. Jasmine look so beautiful!

 
2.
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Member
lulubelle (message)  173 posts, Blushing bee

As usual, your pics and writing do not disappoint! Your ceremony is gorgeous and I love how happy you two look in all the photos.

 
3.
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Guest
Meghan

That last picture is beautiful! Just wow!

 
4.
Mrs. Toucan
Bee
Mrs. Toucan (message)  984 posts, Busy bee

your ceremony was SO gorgeous! Love that last picture- you both look so happy! :)

 
5.
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Kate

You are a wonderful writer and the pictures are beautiful. I agree with Toucan. The last picture looks like you don’t have a care in the world! Oh and your husband is a cutie!

 
6.
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Sharmeen

What a great song to walk down the aisle to!

 
7.
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mini

what an honest post- I am having a hindu-muslim wedding and worry about the same things, and really appreciate your advice.

 
8.
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Courtney

You look stunning!

 
9.
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Priya

I love reading your wedding entries. I’m sitting here crying at my desk! You’re an amazing writer and your wedding looked so amazing =)

I wish you and Mr. J a lifetime of happiness!!

Can’t wait for the rest of your posts!!!

 
10.
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bruin

how ironic! i’ve always dreamt of walking down the aisle at my wedding to that exact same song! :) beautifullll. the day i get married, i can only hope that i look as happy as you do. :)

 
11.
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Bee
Miss Pomegranate (message)  956 posts, Busy bee

Oooh - I love how she served the programs in the MacBeth Tray!

 
12.
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Member
groomzillaisme (message)  59 posts, Worker bee

I love your pictures. Looks like it was an amazing wedding. What’s funny is that my outfit for our Nikkah looks almost exactly like Mr. Jasmine is wearing.

 
13.
frenchbulldog
Bee
frenchbulldog (message)  6,063 posts, Bee Keeper

Your post about your wedding always make me tear up :)

 
14.
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Bee
Mrs. Jasmine (message)  1,154 posts, Bumble bee

@Priya: @AliCherri1:
I’m so sorry– I didn’t mean to make you ladies cry!!!

Thank you so much for the sweet comments everyone! This post was especially poignant for me to write, so the feedback means a lot to me!

 
15.
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Guest
Sultana

Fabulous advice Mrs. Jasmine. I am Muslim and my fiance is Christian and it’s been hard trying to please both families. All our decisions are always fraught with worry - whenever we do anything I also have to keep an eye out for disapproval and I feel like I’m missing out on a lot of special moments with my fiance as a result. I plan, on the day of, to be in the moment. Disapproval is going to come anyway…I just need to learn to ignore it.

 
16.
Mr. Bee
Bee
Mr. Bee (message)  1,545 posts, Bumble bee

Wow, this post was so beautiful! I especially loved this: “I’m one of those cursed people who can always see the darkness through the light, the melancholy in any joy.”

 
17.
Mrs. Bee
Bee
Mrs. Bee (message)  3,261 posts, Sugar bee

gorgeous stunning pics!!!

 
18.
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Annie

That really is good advice and I will try my best to take it. To tell everyone else to hell with it and just be in the moment. I’m only 11 days to my wedding and my family/officiant/his family is just stressing me out so much, trying to make everyone happy and all the compromises are building up on me. So thank you for writing this, because it’s always good to know that we’re not alone.

 
19.
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A Jasmine Wedding Story: Cocktail Hour » Weddingbee » The Wedding Blog

[...] in this series: A Jasmine Wedding Story: We Do A Jasmine Wedding Story: Beauty and the Bride A Jasmine Wedding Story: The Mehndi [...]

 
20.
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Jennifer

What was the gift!!!!!

 
21.
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The Jasmines Do Hawaii » Weddingbee » The Wedding Blog

[...] at Sunrise: In a recap post about our wedding, I mentioned that I was worried during our wedding ceremony. Knowing how much this distressed me, Mr. Jasmine came up with a romantic idea. Early one morning, [...]

 
22.
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A Jasmine Wedding Story: A Reception to Remember, Part One » Weddingbee » The Wedding Blog

[...] in this series: A Jasmine Wedding Story: Cocktail Hour A Jasmine Wedding Story: We Do A Jasmine Wedding Story: Beauty and the Bride A Jasmine Wedding Story: The Mehndi [...]

 
23.
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Cara

The wedding looked beautiful! Maybe I should show this blog to my friend who is getting next year. She needs some ideas on how her wedding should look. I think this would be a great idea for her wedding since she wants it in the summer and to have it outside with lots of flowers around everywhere. I’m hoping picking the theme will be a lot easier than trying to find a Chicago Wedding Band . She has been looking at that for a while and has yet to narrow down choices! I guess that is a lot harder than I thought it would be!

 


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Mrs. Jasmine
Mrs. Jasmine Mrs. Jasmine, Chicago/LA Age and Occupation: 25, Attorney Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Attorney Engagement Date: March 24, 2007 Wedding Date: June 7, 2008 Blogging Since: September 20, 2007 Venue: Hotel on the westside of Los Angeles About Me: I'm a happy-go-lucky, imaginative spirit trapped in the body of a lawyer. I love reading, shopping, dining out, and exploring my beloved adopted city of Chicago with my fiance. We're planning the wedding of our dreams in my hometown of Los Angeles and we're excited to incorporate our cherished Indian/Pakistani customs and traditions.
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