Bye, Babies…
July 22nd, 2008 @ 3:09 pm by Mrs. Sundae
As of approximately 8:11 this morning, the invitations are in the mail. I’ve worked so long and hard on those things, I feel like I’ve given birth to them! I packed them up as carefully as possible last night and then handed them over this morning to a perfect stranger who is sure to mangle and otherwise attempt to destroy those beautiful little pieces of paper. I had lofty ideals about having them hand cancelled, but trying to get that done in the city of Chicago makes the phrase “uphill battle” an understatement. I had done my research; I knew that I could probably get them hand cancelled if I tried hard enough, but that in the end they’ll go through sorting machines anyway. So when I went in this morning armed with my beautiful boxes of correspondence, the conversation went something like this:
Me: Gooooood Morning!
(Nothing but an evil glance from Grumpy McGrumperson post office worker. I quickly decide that the cheeriness is going to get me nowhere, tone it down a notch)
Me: Sir, these are my wedding invitations. I know that this is a busy place, but I really want them to arrive in the best condition possible. Is there any way they can be hand canceled?
Grumpy McGrumperson: ((LOUDEST SIGH EVER))
Me: (blurt out as fast as possible before I get kicked out) I’ll even do it myself if you’ll allow me, because I understand how busy you are and don’t want to bother you in the slightest.
Grumpy McGrumperson: It’s not going to matter.
Me: Really?
Grumpy McGrumperson: They all go through sorting machines anyway, unless they are sized so that they can’t fit through the machines. Those will fit through the machines.
Me: I read that if you bring them to the main post office they don’t go through the machines?
Grumpy McGrumperson: The local ones wouldn’t go through machines, but if they’re going anywhere else they’re going to go through those local sorting machines. It’s not like this is 1957 and people are sitting back there putting things into slots by hand. I don’t care what you do, those things are going to have to go through several machines to get where they’re going.
Knowing he’s right and not wanting to go to more post offices and have this same conversation, I hand them over. Seeing as how I am not a huge fan of ambiguity, wondering whether they will 1) arrive in the first place or 2) look like they’ve been delivered by a pack of lions, is making me slightly nuts. But alas, there is nothing I can do about it. If it helps at all, I’ve learned a few things along the way…
Even if you do have them hand cancelled, they’ll go through the sorting machines if they can fit through them. That will eliminate your stamps being stamped over with those huge things, but won’t guarantee that the bar code isn’t stamped across the bottom. The only way to make sure they don’t go through the machines is to size them so that they can’t fit, which will also mean you’re paying for parcel postage. Ahh, the joys of the post office.
But I shall leave you with a sneak preview of a non-mangled invitation. Once they (hopefully) arrive to our guests I’ll show you the whole shebang!
Are any of you going to try and have your invitations hand cancelled? Anyone else feel a sense of panic when handing them over to the post office?
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26 Responses to “Bye, Babies…”
I sent mine out July 5th. My mom went to the post office that is near our cabin (where the wedding will be held). The post office is a single room with a single USPS employee. They handle so little mail they are in danger of being closed down (part of the reason we sent the invites from there was to help with that).
Even though the single person was not busy on the Saturday after 4th of July he was still grouchy about hand canceling. I told my mom to offer to do it herself and the guy was OK with that.
I thought- wonderful! Hand canceled form the tiny post-office! Those invites will look great!
I sent one to myself to make sure. When it arrived it had the bar code and was all scuffed and dirty.
I think it’s inevitable.
To make matters worse, one of the invites got returned in the mail. I took it to my local post office (Cambridge MA) and told them the address was correct. So the woman there agreed to send it again- she then proceeded to take a BLACK MARKER and SCRIBBLE OVER all the bar codes and markings from the invites previous trip through the mail! Now that guest is getting a completely mangled/messy/ugly outer envelope. If I had known that would happen I would have just put it in a new envelope!
Living in New York City I was thinking the same thing as you - “uphill battle.”
I just crossed my fingers and reminded myself that even if the outside of the envelope gets a little “rough” the inside will still be perfect!
*sigh* Why is it that almost every postal worker seems to be related to your Grumpy McGrumperson. 
I went to three different post offices to weigh/get info about my invitations just to make sure what I was being told was right and to sort of judge where I ultimately wanted to drop them off at.
Incredibly, my tiny little local post office that doesn’t even sell/do everything was the best. The guy that works there on Friday afternoons is the best!
I understand that being a postal working probably isn’t the most fun… most of us have had jobs where we had to deal with all kinds of customers and temperments but it’s your job! You are getting paid and ultimately (most) people do have the freedom to go and find another job if they don’t like the one they have. It’s frustrating that this is such a huge trend.
i got to hand cancel mine just 2 weeks ago. they said they didnt have time and handed me the stamp. i blew through them in 4 minutes flat with my sister being the helper. they looked gorgeous, and i saw the one sent to my mother across state, and there were only a few little bars across the bottom, and the stamp was left looking nice. it was worth asking them for the stamp!
I’m a newly engaged bride-to-be and I never knew there was an option to prevent your wedding invitations from experience the least wear-and-tear as possible! Any insight for a rookie would be greatly appreciated : )
I had basically the same conversation as you - offering to do it and them telling me not to waste my time, it was going to go through a machine anyway. So my advice would be to pick your battles, ladies!
I’ve only sent out my Save the Date cards so far, and they were just post cards so I wasn’t going to worry about hand canceling or anything, but the moment I put them in the mail I started panicking that I hadn’t used a dark enough ink and none of them were going to end up at the correct place and I would never even know because they were postcards and didn’t have a return address.
It didn’t help that I was already having a bad week, so I think that added to the panic.
(Turns out my fears were unfounded. I haven’t followed up with everyone on the guest list, because that seems weird just for a save the date, but I’ve heard about several getting to where they needed to be, so I’m going to assume they all did)
ooh! the invites look so pretty, I can’t wait to see more! 
Boston Brides: I took mine (and some of the ones I have made for clients) to the post office at South Station and they hand cancelled them for me…but they were also square so that could be the trick.
In the end, that IS what the outer envelope is for. I mean, at some point in time, it really got messy…mud, horse crap, etc.
If you live near Oregon there is a fabulous place in the Gorge where you can get them handstamped. The place is called bridal Veil and they put a cute handstamp on the envelope. I think you can send your invites to them and she will send them out.
Make sure to buy stamps because they need to stay in business!!
i was able to hand cancel mine in the downtown post office in Sacramento, ca. i went in first thing on a friday morning. the lady was slightly grumpy about it, even telling me, “no, we don’t do that!” but when i offered to do it myself, she gave in and handed me the stamp. Even though the bars and all that made them less than perfect upon arrival, our custom stamp (which had a song lyric printed on it, so i was a little nervous) was completely in tact on all that I’ve seen (and the 3 that have been returned to sender).
Whew! Mine are square so hopefully I can sit this argument out (and huge, I’m going to pay a bundle for postage). A note to anyone in Madison, Wisconsin: The people at the post office on MLK a block from the capitol are really nice. I spent a lot of time there overnighting stuff for grad school applications. I even got them to rub my envelopes for good luck! So, hope is out there.
I’ve read several entries here about cranky postal workers. My intended is a sweet postal worker, so I swear they do exist.
@ Mrs. Corn: lol. Horse crap. I *can* see that happening in Boston…
Miss Sundae, the sneak peek looks so awesome! I love the little dots on the sides - they add just a little punch to the elegance of the graphic. Also, your Chicago P.O. lament reminded me of a Jonathan Franzen essay from _How to Be Alone_… if you haven’t read it, do! It’ll make you feel much better about Mr. McG’s loud sigh.
I don’t know what we’re going to do about hand-canceling… I imagine not, since my mom and I are doing invitations when I’m home for my shower next week and it’ll be veritable chaos, but it could end up being one of those random things she cares A LOT about.
So, uh, after everyone spends so much time on calligraphy, stamps, worrying about hand canceling, this may not be what you want to hear, but…
I throw away the outer envelope.
There. I said it. I laid it out on the table. No matter how wonderful it looks, I don’t keep your outer envelope. Don’t tell me that when I get married it will change — I got married in May. I’ll keep your invite if you’re extra close to me and it’s something you worked hard on and looking back on it in years will put a smile on my face, but I don’t need an outer envelope. I’m not saying this to be mean, but really, take a deep breath, relax, and realize that a barcode on the bottom or a big huge ugly mark through your custom made Zazzle stamp is not the end of the world, because half your guests won’t even keep the invitation itself, let alone notice a barcode on the bottom. So everyone, together, deep breath, and relax. It’s what’s INSIDE the envelope that counts!
Wow, it felt good to get that off my chest.
@bluegreenjean - I mailed mine from that same post office in Madison, WI - they were so wonderful and enthusiastic! I couldn’t believe it. I was practically skipping on my way out.
julieulie: I could not agree more. I just mailed my invitations on Friday… hooray!! I printed all the addresses on clear labels, and only had one envelope. Faux pas, right? 
I also didn’t bother asking for hand cancelling, my postal worker was already giving me an attitude (he was ruining my moment! haha) I knew hand cancelling was out of the question, and I figured they’d go through some machine at some point anyway, besides, the real goods are inside!! I’ve gotten so many calls and compliments since people got them, so I’m thrilled and really happy I didn’t pay a lot to have a calligrapher do my envelopes or anything else. Yey!! I think people are just so surprised because nobody has ever seen pocketfolds, and they all think I’m the crafty one! 
i don’t quite get the whole craze for hand canceling. does it really matter? i’m in the group with julieulie…i don’t pay attention to the envelope [unless to figure out who sent me something] nor do i keep them. my focus is the invite itself and as long as that comes intact, fine by me. i plan on popping mine into the mailbox and being done. what will be, will be. i guess it’s a nice touch but completely unnecessary so please don’t kill yourselves over getting this done.
Egh. How frustrating! I’m glad they finally went out - and I’m sure they’ll do just fine. I can’t wait to see the finished product!
I’m for the hand cancelling myself. I know not everyone will keep the outer envelope, but I also know a few that plan to (both parents, bridesmaids, godmother, sisters, etc.). So after I spent 50 hours (no joke) on those suckers, it may not matter to everyone that the outside is purrrty, but it does to me if that’s okay
I’m with Griffen - while I really don’t think it matters to most of your guests, there are definitely a few who will appreciate it. If you *don’t* hand-cancel, it’s not as if they’ll be tweaked, though. It’s totally a personal preference. And if you’ve worked really hard to DIY your invitations (or spent a lot of money on them), I can totally understand wanting the complete presentation to be really pretty and clean.
(That said… see comment #15. :-D)
I was able to hand cancel mine in the Chicago burbs. Mr. P and I were pleasantly surprised by how nice everyone was! It was almost silly. I am so used to crabby postal workers that I think my mouth might have dropped open when the guy just started stamping them for me. I realize that it will still go through the ringer, but after all that work (”birthing” as Sundae likes to say) I wanted to do whatever I could to keep them lovely!
the main post office in downtown chicago will hand-cancel. i went late at night on a weekend and they happily obliged without a fight or bribe!
For Ft. Lauderdale brides….I brought my invitations to the main Ft. Lauderdale PO on Oakland Park Blvd. One day I brought in 20 and they happily hand-cancelled them. And then the next day I came in with 40 and they took them in the back and hand-cancelled those, too!
The postal staff was very friendly. And best of all, my invitations were all delivered before the weekend (and before my 2 month mark - GOAL!)
I have to mail my invites from Seoul. How do you say “hand-cancel” in Korean?
Mrs. Sundae, Chicago/Lake Geneva, WI
Age and Occupation: 28, Knowledge Manager
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Investment Advisor
Engagement Date: July 20, 2007
Wedding Date: September 2008
Blogging Since: February 5, 2008
Venue: The Abbey Resort
About Me: It’s hard to believe that by the time Mr. Sundae and I get married we will have been together for almost ten years. When we first met in college we split dollar pitchers and now we share the mortgage payments. Despite our love for the city we are looking forward to tying the knot in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin.
i literally just got back from handing over 2/3rds of them!! spent a 1.5 hr lunch break sticking the stamps on and licking all the envelopes. what added to the time is that i forgot to do the little number on the rsvp, so i had to take it all apart before putting it all back together.. i’m so anxious to hear when people start to get theirs!