Wedding Blog

(All of us married Bees have talked about how recaps are often the least commented on posts of a Bee’s blogging tenure because they tend to be pretty straightforward and/or boring in comparison to the “Ahhh! I’m Getting Married! Look At My Crafts!” kind of posts. However, I promise to do my absolute best to make my recaps as fun as possible and hope that you’ll all enjoy reading and experiencing the day with me!)

My dress and my MOH’s dress in the prep room - It’s time to shine people!

As you all read in our previous wedding morning entries, both Mr. Hum’s experiences and mine ran the scale of tame to tense.

For me, the wedding morning was perfect and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. In fact, I felt pretty Zen right up until we pulled up to Mr. Hum’s dad’s house and realized we were t-minus one hour out. And then…then things got a little chaotic. I had been told Mr. Hum was running around inside, so, for a few minutes, I was exiled out in the driveway still wearing my civvies before S.W.A.T. (Special Wedding Accompaniment Team) deemed the hallway clear and rushed me through past a bunch of guests into a bedroom.

My family and friends standing outside pre-ceremony. I was happy that we got there a little early because
I got to say hi and hug everyone (including my best friend who came all the way from Alberta) before the craziness began!

Unfortunately, the room they pushed me into still had a bunch of Mr. Hum’s stuff in it, so they swept the hallway before we made another maneuver into the office next door. However, when we abandoned the room we were supposed to have occupied, the note Mr. Hum had stuck in the mirror for me was abandoned too and I never got to read it! Mr. Hum told me later that this was just as well because he was bitching about his horrible morning, but I was missing him so terribly after being separated for the night, I would have taken whatever I could get!*

Slipping into my dress in the prep room and striking a model pose. Eat your heart out, Tyra Banks!

Anyway, at this point, my nerves started acting up. I hadn’t seen Mr. Hum in what felt like days, I had to get into my dress by myself, all of my wedding accessories were in different parts of the house that I couldn’t enter, I didn’t know where any of the bouquets were, my makeup artist had disappeared to man the guest shuttle and I wasn’t sure what had happened to my dad, who, when we last checked had been trailing after me down the hallway. (Had he taken a wrong turn and gone into the linen closet?)

Me and my dad joking around after he was recovered from the yard. I think the bouquet brings out his eyes.

Thankfully enough, my bridal party jumped into action. Erin tracked down the bouquets and my AWOL dad, Ben’s stepmum (the previously mentioned amazing Gina) rounded up my scavenger hunt-worthy accessories, and Greg jumped in as a temporary replacement makeup artist and helped me apply lipstick (my hands were shaking too hard).

My Man of Honour Greg works double duty as makeup man and puts the finishing touches on my makeup for the day.

Now because I like you all very much and have always vowed to be honest when writing this blog, I am about to tell two embarrassing stories associated with my wedding prep.

Story #1: The Dress-Ass incident - During this period of time, I had managed to climb into my beautiful dress, but because the zipper was so long and directly in the middle of my back, I was walking around with the back hanging open, a fact I didn’t much think about until our male videographer Alex showed up knocking on the door. Now, we spend a lot of time with Alex and he is very much part of our downtown family, but I didn’t particularly want him to see me in my underwear, let alone document my ass flapping away in the wind. Therefore, I temporarily banned him from the room and shouted frantically for someone to zip me up. I don’t remember who did it, but I am forever indebted to them.

Alex waiting patiently outside while last minute wardrobe adjustments are made.

Story #2: The Bathroom Break - After my dress was zipped up and I did my pre-ceremony interview with Alex**, I asked someone to get me some milk as I am hypoglycemic and did not want to risk fainting in the mud because of low blood sugar. So as requested, my dad left the room and returned with a small glass of 2 percent. As I was drinking, various members of my entourage left the prep room to use the facilities before the big aisle walk. However, once they were all done, someone rose a very important question—Does Miss Hummingbird have to go? And you know what? I was so nervous that I couldn’t even tell, because, in the heat of the moment, there is astoundingly little difference between nerves and a full bladder. But, in light of the recently ingested glass of milk, I began to worry that if I didn’t go, I’d end up doing the impatient pee dance as we were saying our vows. So, I took off for the bathroom. The only problem? I was dragging a few meters of fabric along with me and couldn’t move properly in it, so my MOH (going completely above and beyond at this point) had to join me in the bathroom to hold my dress for me while I went. At the end of the day, I am happy I did this (I didn’t end up going again until 3AM and at that point, I was out of my dress), but as someone who greatly values her ability to go to the bathroom unassisted, I am duly embarrassed by this.

There is thankfully no picture of this happening, but in the interest of keeping things chock full of pictures,
here is a still (courtesy of YouTube) of Katherine Heigl in 27 Dresses on pee patrol.

Anyway, once we’d zipped and peed, it was time to go, so I hit the driveway with my fatherly escort and waited for our “theme music” to kick up.

Me and my dad talking strategy before the big walk. We had been forewarned about the mud, but nothing prepared us for how much mud there actually was.

Will we make it down the crazy wet hill unscathed? Will we lose a shoe in the muddy sinkhole in the middle of the aisle? Will we make it through the ceremony without making crazy faces at each other?

Probably not. But find out for sure in my next entry entitled: Ceremony: The Big Show!

Our guests taking a seat while Mr. Hum’s cousin Erik hands out our nifty programs.

* Mr. Hum told me later that he felt the same way and after such a bad morning, he wanted to beg his best man to blindfold him so he could come hug me without spoiling my big reveal.
** Alex: Describe in one word what you are feeling right now. Miss Hummingbird: AAAAAAHHHHHH! (Mr. Hummingbird said the same thing in his pre-ceremony interview.)