Wedding Blog
Planning our wedding entirely by myself has had its advantages. Using our own money for the wedding enables us to call all our own shots and allows for us to avoid many discrepancies with my own family as well as my future family. However, the value in delegation is something that no bride should do away with at the two-week-to-the-wedding-mark. I asked my mom to make a big trip to Ikea to buy these $1.99 vases ($2.99 in Canada), to help me out, and help include her in the wedding. Instead of buying the vases, she noted that “those opaque vases you’re talking about are so ugly, I’ve already planned to have tall clear vases from Costco and fill them with gelling-water-medium and hydrangeas, they’ll look much better.”
You have to understand that I’m the type of girl that would much rather receive a single flower over a big bouquet. That is why I want one of these simplistic looks. So should I stand my ground, or let my mom have her way?
I’d had the idea to raid my bridesmaid’s garden of hydrangeas the night before the wedding to use as centerpieces. I’ve tested it out, and while they do last over a week in water, their spherical shape overwhelms the simplicity of the vase, so I’m vetoing the hydrangeas as centerpieces unless we decide to have clear square vases, but those are $3 a piece just to rent.
I love the look of blackberry branches, and they go with the botanical invites we designed and adore (the actual invite was later revised and this flowering branch image was put on the reply card, but you get the idea).
I’ve purchased a huge box full of these flowers. I’ve been pretty absent lately, but you may remember me as the dead things!!!-bride:
The mums would match the bridesmaid bouquets but I’d have to pay for them.
This is a rose I picked from my garden today. Each table will have two bottles of wine on it—we could accompany them with empty wine bottles with one flower in each, but I still like the simple look of the small white vase.
In the end, it doesn’t bother me that much, but these centerpieces were the only decorations I’d been planning on for the past year. I told my mom that she can decorate everything and anything else around the place that she wants.
Should I back down and let her have her way with these, too?
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Honestly, I like the hydrangeas in the white vase best. But I do like the way the blackberry branches match your invites.
I like the hydrangeas the best too.
I’m w/ Lucy and Laura I LOVE the hydrangeas in the Ikea vases, but I say let your mom have her way if she is going to pay for it and do it - that makes it one less thing you have to do.
The white vases with the single stem look wonderful! If you have a bunch of them going down the length of the table, it will look refined yet abundant. Stick to your plan! (I like the mums — they’re under- used in weddings and textually interesting … although they may not go with a victorian mansion… roses may be more fitting …. )
I think that you should do what you want. Your mom is welcome to her opinion, as is everyone else, but in the end, it is your decision. I think that the vase is super cute and you can’t go wrong.
Oh and I think you should stick to your guns. The vases will look amazing when all lined up or clustered. Moms have a lovely way of communicating don’t they?
I have a really simple taste and I LOVE love love the blackberry branches! I wouldn’t back down on that, it’s YOUR big day! And in my own opinion, the centerpieces say a lot about who you are and are one of the biggest ways to reflect that in the reception. (I am working on a small budget and the centerpieces are one of our very few decorations, so this might be different for you…)
I would stand your ground. Tell your mother that while you appreciate her *suggestion* you really have your heart set on the white vases and that they better go with your vision for the day (or whatever wording will work best with your mom).
Stand your ground! It’s your wedding, and you made it clear what you wanted. Offering suggestions is fine, but overriding you is not. Your mother should be happy to oblige; if she is not, then put someone else in charge of the centerpieces.
These white vases are not simple in their shape or texture–they stand out to me! The single red flower (my favorite) complements the vase and creates a unique line and texture, whereas I think the vase overwhelms the hydrangeas and looks busy.
My question for you on these vases is, do you like them because you like them, or do you like them because they’re so cheap? Would you still pick them if they cost $5 or $10 each? Is your heart set on them?
If your answer is no, and if your mom is offering to pay for the clear vases w/ hydrangeas (or if the price is comparable to you), I would let your mom have her way. If your mom is anything like my mom, she feels that the wedding is a reflection on her taste too, even though you’re planning and paying for it. So if it doesn’t matter too much to you, letting her have her way on this might mean a lot to her.
blackberries blackberries blackberries.
i had them in some of my BM’s bouquets and not only were they beautiful, they were eaten. 
do it your way!
I’m for the blackberry branches, they match so nicely with your invitation. Also, I actually own a few of the white ikea vases and I love them! Stick to you guns!
Blackberry branches in the opaque vases for sure. Those will be lovely centerpieces. Thank your mom for her suggestion and then explain to her that you really would like the opaque vases as you have the centerpieces already planned.
I love the way both of these look! If you’ve been paying for your wedding and have your heart set on these there is no reason for you not to have what you want!
my advice is to tell mama to listen up - the idea she has for the floweres sounds great, but it’s not what you were envisioning. you really had your heart set on these white vases. then ask her if she just wants you to go out and get them. whatever you need to do to make it clear that you’re having these whether she likes it or not.
i think it’s okay to compromise on some things but my sister caved and did alot of what my mom wanted rather than what she wanted and she’s never really been okay with it. you should have your wedding look the way you want it. mom will get over it. find something else that you’re not decided on and let her have a strong hand in that.
I agree - stick to your guns! The opaque vases are so cute and I love the hydrangeas and the blackberry branches!
Plus, so many people have the typical Centerpiece in a Vessel Filled with Flowers. While I think typical centerpieces are gorgeous too (heck, I’m having them - dahlias in buckets!), you’ll be having a beautiful array! A “scene” of florals, if you will. I think it will be quite unique and really set a nice mood.
I love it! Don’t give in!
I guess I’m going against public opinion here… but, I’d suggest you figure out how much this means to you.
Like you, I was in the wedding planning driver’s seat. I (with hubby’s input) made the decisions. My mom respected that and let me do my own thing. One exception was the flowers. She came to the florist appointments with me and while I had some ideas, she had very definite ideas of what would look good. I deferred to her. It did help that she has great taste and I LOVED the flowers at our wedding.
My point is - it made me happy to have my mom involved in that part of the planning and it made her happy to have the flowers the way she envisioned. It was a win-win for us.
Hopefully you find your win-win. 
I really like the blackberries. But there is something to not fighting with the MOM. Maybe you could mix them?
Didn’t your mom already have her wedding? Yeah, she did. Do it your way.
Clear 3-inch square vases are available at dollartreedirect.com for– you guessed it– $1 each. They will deliver them to a local store for no shipping fees.
I love how the flowering blackberries look in the IKEA vases–and I happen to love those vases too! They’re nice & simple & kinda organic looking, since they’re not totally perfect and not a bright white.
My only question with the blackberries though is: Will there still be flowering branches for your wedding? Most of the blackberries that I know of are fruited by August–the flowers long since gone.
I actually liked all of the flower options in the IKEA vase, if blackberries end up being not an option.
Michaels craft store is having a sale on sqaure glass vases this week for $2 each. Might help some.
stick to what you want!
the blackberry branch looks so pretty.
the hydrangea do look a bit much with the vase.
correction: the hydrangeas…
Just say NO to gelling medium. Your Ikea vases look so classy and contemporary…gelling medium is so early 90s.
Hydrangeas are overdone and just say NO to gel.
My first thought when I look at the blackberry branch in the vase was WOW! So unique, so simple, and so utterly cool. They also match your invites…I am not one into the “theming” of everything but it does theme well.
Blackberry branch idea is more eco-friendly too!
I think you should do whatever you want. Tell your mum thanks but you prefer the other look.
It’s nice to hear from another bride who is planning her own wedding without letting parents take over!
I got married in June, and I ran into a lot of issues like this with my mom, even though my husband and I were paying for most of our wedding. I had a very specific idea of the asthetic I wanted - simple, rustic, organic. Just the opposite of my mom’s typical style. She was a very good wedding caterer and planner, but that was in the 80’s - think trailing ivy, large bows, ice sculptures and baby’s breath. I held my ground - despite my mom’s “that’s so ugly” and “how could you possibly like that” comments. I made a point to share with her as many photos and sketches that I could to show her what I was wanting. She was the one putting the flowers together and decorating our wedding and reception site, so I was completely dependent on her to follow my wishes. To my surprise, she totally came through for me. She even added some nice touches that were perfectly in line with the organic and simple look I was going for. My advice to you is to let your mom know how much you appreciate her help, but that you have a vision for your wedding, and you need her to help you carry out that vision, not hers. Good luck and I’m sure she’ll come around. Definitely “no” to the gel!
Love the look of the branches….very simple, elegant and botanical; and they go well with the white vases.
As far as your mother, you should stand your ground. You don’t need to pull the whole ‘it’s my day and I’ll have what I want’ bit, but could let her know that you’re just not feeling the hydrangeas and gel scheme!
Good luck………I’m off the Ikea!
Love the look of the branches….very simple, elegant and botanical; and they go well with the white vases.
As far as your mother, you should stand your ground. You don’t need to pull the whole ‘it’s my day and I’ll have what I want’ bit, but could let her know that you’re just not feeling the hydrangeas and gel scheme!
Good luck………I’m off to Ikea!
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Mrs. Milkshake, Seattle/Vancouver, BC
Age and Occupation: 23, Pharmacist
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Pharmacist
Engagement Date: May 2007
Wedding Date: August 2008
Blogging Since: December 6, 2007
Venue: Victorian Mansion
About Me: Despite the fact that I’ve invested many long years of my life studying the sciences in college, I’m glad to be out of there and I would never do it again! I’m super artsy at heart - I run an indie craft site, I grew up shooting and developing my own film, doing jazz and ballet, and the whole gamut of art classes. I’ve been called a Jane of all Trades… but I was also told many years ago not to make my passion my career because it’d suck the fun out of it. Hence my choice of day job. We live in Seattle but are having our wedding in Canada to be fair to all our family and friends.
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