Wedding Blog
The Recent Avocado Timeline:Sunday
8:00 AM-Get Engaged
9:00 PM-Learn that Mr. Avocado will be going out of town for work
Monday
7:30 AM-Drive Mr. Avocado to the airport
8:00 AM-Last kiss goodbye
Wednesday
4:00 PM-Miss Avocado boards a plane for Washington and moves home until the wedding
Result: 1 happy mother (as shown)
and a very lonely Miss Avocado.
Is anyone else attempting to have a long distance engagement? Do you think that the Avocados can go from now until 2 days before the wedding without seeing each other as planned (because my family sure doesn’t)?
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Share this post: Long Distance Lovers
ditto!!
ginger timelines:
9:00 am got engaged
9:00 pm FI left country for work
4 months later he returns.
only to move to another city for work.
i meet him once a month over a weekend. wedding is in feb. far far away
I actually just saw my fiance on Friday for the first time in three months. We’re getting married next Saturday. So I definitely get the long distance thing.
Honestly, the long distance thing was much harder than I expected it to be. We talked on the phone every night, and sent frequent e-mails, which really helped. Also just doing little unexpected things aside from our phone routine really made a big difference in reminding us that we really did love each other, and the other person was still very important.
Even with all that, without the other person right there I think I had more cold feet freak outs than I normally would have. Its hard to keep the other person from becoming a bit of an abstraction when their not right there. Honestly, for the past few weeks my love for my fiance became more of an intellectual “I remember that I love him”, than I passionate emotion.
Everything came flooding back when I saw him, and it will all be wonderful, but it was differently hard. I’m sure you two can do it, but be prepared for some hard times and make sure you put forth a little extra effort to remind each other why you’re getting married.
Good luck!
C. and I did long distance for two years. The only way we kept it together was our next planned meeting. We found that for us the longest we could go and maintain our sanity was about 2 months–though we had to go 4 a couple of times.
It must be even harder with the pressure and stress of wedding planning. Good communication is going to be key, and in the end you will be stronger as a couple for the experience. Hopefully you guys have a good way to keep in touch!
If you don’t already have Skype, I recommend you get it (and two webcams & two headsets, one for each Avocado) ASAP.
Mr beanchar & I had to live apart for nine months and only got to see each other about three times in person during that stretch.
Skype allows you to make FREE calls (with video or not as you choose) over the internet, so you can actually SEE the person and talk as long as you want without running up huge bills.
It was really great for us– definitely a long-distance relationship MUST HAVE in my book. AND it’s also VERY cheap for calling foreign countries, which will come in handy post-wedding, yes?
(PM me if you want suggestions on where to find cheap webcams/headsets– mr beanchar was genius with this.)
My fiance has been home for exactly four days since we got engaged on May 1. His job entails a LOT of travel. Luckily, mine allows me the flexibility to work from the road, so I can visit him as frequently as the bank account allows for — not nearly enough with airline prices what they are. He is now in Canada and won’t be back until the end of the month - and this time I won’t be able to visit him because of things I have going on. Sucks, but my mother said that maybe the key to a happy marriage is not having to deal with each other : )
Oh I’m sure you can do it- speaking as a military girl counting down the days myself (coincidentally also until october) til he gets home from deployment- I would feel blessed just to be able to hear his voice on the phone more than once every month and to know he’s safe. You can make it- just stay busy every day (which no doubt you’ll have no issue doing since you’re planning a wedding) and the time will fly =)
I haven’t seen my fiance for 3.5 months, he’s in training with the Cdn Navy on the west coast… good news is that I fly out to be with him at the end of the month and I get to bring him home! At first I only heard from him weekly. Which didn’t cut it, but he was being pushed really hard in basic training, so time didn’t really permit. We got all of the wedding stuff outta the way before he left and I had a couple of meltdowns, but I don’t think I could ever do it again…
Your situation seems like it will be harder seeing how you won’t be able to see before the wedding… but ya, good communication is key and as long as you have close family and friend nearby, the time will go by.
As a survivor of an 18-month LDR (we’re getting married on October 4th), there is definitely a period of adjustment that is going to be a big test for the relationship. You’re going to learn a LOT about communication during this period than you ever thought you would, because only having phone/other electronic contact is going to show how you’re able to talk to (and listen) to each other. But it really can be a positive experience–and send him a little care package of stationery so you can write letters to each other. Especially with the hullabaloo of wedding planning, it’s a great way to vent problems, but also take some time for yourself and reflect on what’s going on as well as your relationship. And nothing, absolutley nothing (not even flowers) beats getting a delightful letter to read from the onhe you love.
Best of luck to you–since you two have an end date, it will make things much easier (a big issue for us was not knowing when it was going to end). And really–your relationship will get stronger on the other side. And with all of the planning going on, time will fly!
(Unrelated: really admired the bridal portraits, but I think my favorite picture was of you in the tunnel walking. I’m into odd juxtapositions.) 
u will make it. it will be hard. and it will suck a LOT, but u two will make it.
i’m doing the same exact thing. i said good bye to my fi the week after July 4th for the last time until days before our wedding 11/01/08.
in our total 10 month engagement, we will not have spent 7 days together.
it has sucked…….but its worth it!
if u ever get lonely…..u know where i’ll be!
The Pancakes timeline:
Pancakes’ first date. Two weeks later, Mr. P moves to Korea. Two visits in one year. 14 months after first date, Miss Pancakes moves to Korea, but still lives 2 hours from Mr. P, so they can only meet on weekends. Currently, Mr. P is back in the States and I’m the one in Korea. We’re getting married in October, but we’ll be living in different (non-bordering) states until the wedding. (You can read more about it in my blog:
http://marryingintothemilitary.blogspot.com/
The long distance thing is really hard! I agree with PP that staying busy is the best thing to help the time pass. If you could send Mr. P a Vonage modem wherever he is, he could set it up through his internet and have a local US number which would make communicating much easier!
Good luck! You can do it!
My fiance is Australian, and we are waiting for our fiance visa before he can come over here and we can be married. I haven’t seen him (with the exception of one two week visit I had down under) in 11 months! We talk on a webcam every night, but it’s just not the same. Fingers crossed though, we’re in the final stages of the visa!
My fiance just graduated from the Air Force Academy, and while we were dating we got to see each other MAYBE once a month — the longest time we have ever spent together is two months. Now he is in Texas for flight school, and I am in school at home, so I have calculated that if we see each other once a month, I will see him only 24 times until our wedding in two years 
But as a veteran of long distance — you can do it. Look forward to the next time you’ll see each other, but the time apart is good to grow as an individual, which will be beneficial and imperative (and easier) to maintain once you are married. (now I’ve got to take my own advice for two years)
My friends who had a true LDR (two years with him in US and her in Thailand) scoff at my LDR summers, but since I met my FI in 05, I have never seen him in June or July — we are apart all summer long. So he proposed in Feb, and now we are apart from May until a week and a half from now. The wedding is in December, so we’ll have spent about half of the engagement apart.
And yeah, it is hard. I second Beanchar’s Skype advice — we use Googletalk, which has no camera function, but neither do we. One thing to watch out for is fighting…. sometimes when you’ve been apart for a really long time, it is easy to fight over really stupid things, because you want so badly to just have ANY interaction with him. FI and I have had a few of those where we’ve had to stop, take a deep breath and say “I love you; this doesn’t matter.”
Ugh! I couldn’t imagine…and I think you two are troopers for making things work for this time… It’s actually kinda pathetic how much my now husband and I depend on our daily contact…it has gotten to a point if we spend lunch apart (we both work downtown) we get a little cranky…
Having said that, I truly believe that distance makes the heart grow fonder!!!
I’m thinking of you two!
I third the Skype advice…it makes a huge difference to be able to see each other, rather than relying on tones of voice and whatnot.
We are also doing a long distance engagement–we got engaged in China in mid- February, then I returned to the US in early April for work, then he came to visit in early July and left for the UK this afternoon to wait for an unspecified period of time for our fiance visa to come through while I am off to Hong Kong for a month for business on Tuesday…urgh.
We really believe that we can do this–I think having that faith in and love for each other has pulled us through a few difficult times while we’ve been apart. I hope you and Mr. Avocado will find that the same is true for you!
I have to say that all of you military brides definitely have me beat! I feel for you, especially since Mr. Av and I just finished doing 10 months of long distance during the school year, and we were able to see each other at least once a month during that time. You make me feel bad for whining about missing him. Thanks for making our nightly phone call feel that much sweeter.
So I had a question about this post..does this mean you’re officially engaged now? as opposed to before when you said your fiance was waiting to officially ask/give you the ring??
If so, congratulations! : )
Wow I totally missed your engagement post a while back so…never mind I answered my own question! Congrats like I said though, the pictures were beautiful!
you can do it! my husband and i dated for 7 years, 5 of them long distance. we were engaged for a year prior to the wedding and i planned the entire (horrible) thing by myself and didn’t see him till 2-3 days prior to the wedding also. (only thing he did was try on the tux! and help with last minute disaster control.
i survived and so can you. =) don’t worry.. married life will be much better! =D
@AliCherri1: It’s definitely much worse for him than it is for me. I keep pretty busy with all of the wedding planning and blogging.
@Katie: Thanks!
@kbok: I know it will.
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Mrs. Avocado, Seattle
Age and Occupation: 23, Student
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Consultant
Engagement Date: July 27, 2008
Wedding Date: October, 2008
Blogging Since: June 30, 2008
Venue: LDS Seattle Temple & Hotel 1000
About Me: Somehow this little farm girl found herself a genuine Pole to fall in love and eventually move away to Poland with. I am an LDS bride attempting to plan a private religious ceremony, ring ceremony, seated reception for 100, and an open house while coordinating for guests flying in from across the United States and as far away as Poland. I try to avoid fads, excess waste, and saturated fat. I strongly endorse photography, DDR, calorie counting, rss feeds, cooking, and utilizing your resources.
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