Wedding Blog

HC: Hey Kate Monster.
KM: Hiya Haute Cocoa.
HC: Can you sing for the Hive that song you wrote about wedding dress shopping?
KM: What song?
HC: You know, the one that Trekkie Monster kept trying to ruin?
KM: Oh, of course! Here it goes:

I’m glad we have this new technology
Which gives us untold opportunity
Right from your own desktop
You can research browse and shop
Until you’ve had enough and you’re ready to stop.

[Image source. Lyrics from Avenue Q.]

If you’ve been following Miss Haute Cocoa’s dogged pursuit of a couture wedding dress bargain, you know she’s traveled by subway to the Priscilla of Boston sample sale, by train to Kleinfeld’s monthly sample sale and to the Bridal Garden, and by car to the Vows Bridal Outlet. But this will-go-anywhere-for-a-bargain girl ultimately ended her search in her Jem and the Holograms pajamas, with her buttocks firmly planted in her desk chair.

Yes, I found my dress on the internet.

It might seem sketchy to make such a big purchase online, and trust me, even someone with as acute a case of bargainphilia as myself wondered at one point whether this might be a bit of an extreme way to save a few bucks. But after trying on a number of silhouettes, fabrics, and styles at Vows and other sample dress boutiques, I was fairly certain I knew what I wanted: a fit and flare gown in size 8 or 10, either strapless or with little capsleeves, with a little bit of embellishment or lace. After a bit of online research, I realized that there were a number of gowns available that fit my criteria and that (even with shipping costs) they were generally even more affordable than the sample gowns I found at brick-and-mortar boutiques.

Then, one fortuitous day, on the website of Dream Bridal L.A., I found her. Her name was Mona Lisa. She had darling capsleeves with delicate embellishment, a sexy scoop back, a luscious mermaid shape. She was a sample dress in excellent condition. Sure, she made her debut in Monique Lhuillier’s Fall 2005 collection, but as a thirty-something bride, who am I to judge her by her age? I contacted Dream Bridal, spoke to the lovely owner, Britta, and negotiated for Mona to pay me a visit in Boston. Except for an anxious week when Mona got waylaid (the DHL guy appears to have stolen it and then returned it when he decided he was more a Vera Wang kind of guy), the process was easy. Britta gave me ample time to decide whether the dress was right for me. And lo and behold, it was!

I had a great experience with Dream Bridal L.A., as well as with Your Dream Dress, an ebay seller from whom I bought (but ultimately returned) the Badgley Mischka Lucia gown below. Not only did I find lovely gowns at a significant discount, I was able to try the dresses on in my own home, without any pressure or snarkiness from a hovering salesperson.Suffice to say, no, Trekkie Monster, the internet is not just for porn. It’s for wedding dress bargains too. And for those of you still shopping, I thought I’d share a few of the tips I picked up along the way.

1. Researching the seller. There are generally 3 types of online sellers: individuals (i.e., brides selling their gently used dresses through craigslist, ebay, or preownedweddingdresses.com), webstores attached to brick-and-mortar businesses (such as Bridepower), and internet-only businesses (such as Your Dream Dress). Since I’m a bit risk averse, I limited my search to businesses. Not only do individual sellers rarely allow returns, they often sell dresses that have already been altered, which can be hard to size and fit. I also noticed that businesses tend to have better prices than individual sellers, perhaps because brides who paid full price for their dresses understandably want to recoup a bit more of their costs. Finally, it’s easier to test the credibility of a business; I found reviews of many of the established sellers on wedding websites like Project Wedding, the Knot, and the Weddingbee boards, or on ebay, when applicable.

2. Trusting my intuition. If the seller seemed sketchy, if they didn’t return my e-mails or phone calls in a timely manner, if they required — gasp — cash, I moved on. In general, I’d be wary of sellers who tell you brusquely that the gown is in “perfect” condition. Sample dresses are rarely perfect, and the reputable sellers I dealt with were happy to provide details of any imperfections. I also always looked for a written description of the condition of the gown. That way, if the gown arrived in a different condition, I’d have more leverage for negotiation or an easy reason for a return.

3. Negotiating with the seller. Don’t be afraid to e-mail or call the seller to discuss the price. As with all vendor negotiations, I found that if you are kind to the seller, express serious interest in the item, and ask politely if she is able to help you work within your budget, you might be pleasantly surprised by the results. Plus this type of interaction allowed me to get a sense of the seller’s business ethos: Did she respond in a timely and courteous manner to e-mails or phone calls? Was she only interested in making the sell, or did she take the time to share with me information about the dress and her store policies?

On a related note, ebay sellers like Your Dream Dress often give buyers the opportunity to “make an offer.” If you choose this option, recognize that if your offer is accepted, it is as much of an agreement to buy as if you win any other bid on ebay. So bid carefully. (Not on a whim, like me!) Don’t lowball, but do your homework to figure out what a fair price is for the particular item. Since many sample dresses are released into the market when a designer discontinues a particular design, you’ll often see the same dress (perhaps in different sizes and conditions) on various sites, thus making it easy to comparison shop. Also, even if a particular ebay seller does not have a “make an offer” option, you can often still get a better price on a dress by contacting the seller directly. They might ask that you wait until the auction is over to negotiate on a bidless item, but if you are a serious buyer, they will likely be happy to haggle.

4. Checking return policies. Most of the sites I looked at offered at least 24 to 48 hours from the time I received the dress to decide whether to keep it. If I decided to return the dress, I was required to ship it back to them within a certain number of days in the same condition as it arrived. In the event of a return, some sellers, like Bridepower, charge a processing fee (to recoup the cost of, say, cleaning or steaming a dress). Others, like Dream Bridal and Your Dream Dress, charge only for shipping to/from my apartment. Although with insurance it cost me around $75 to send the Badgley Mischka back to Your Dream Dress via UPS, I found the return process to be hassle free. The seller didn’t give me any grief about returning the dress; on the contrary, they were apologetic that the dress didn’t work out and even offered to waive the shipping costs on my next purchase.

5. Seeing a seamstress. Britta of Dream Bridal L.A. gave me very helpful advice to take my dress to my seamstress during the decision period. This way, I could get an estimate for alterations or repairs, as well as get the second opinion of a professional (who has seen a number of wedding dresses) on the quality and fit of the gown.

6. Anticipating snafus. Reputable sellers will ship the gown to you using an insured and trackable method. And you should do the same when returning the gown. But do ask (and try to get in writing) what would happen if — Buddha forbid — a gown gets lost or damaged by the carrier. When the DHL guy temporarily absconded with my dress, for example, Britta took care of everything and kept me updated on all of her recovery efforts. As an added level of protection, I also made my purchases on credit cards with buyer’s insurance.

7. Getting everything in writing. As a lawyer, I am obsessive compulsive about creating a paper trail. This way, any negotiations I have with vendors are memorialized and clear. And any questions or problems can be resolved with a simple forward or fax.

Whew! This is an epic post; I hope it’s helpful! If you’re intrigued, below is a list of the websites I looked at during the course of my search. Also, if you are interested in finding a dress on ebay, don’t miss Mrs. Tulip’s excellent two-part post on the subject.

Avant Bridal

Bell Ancora

Bella Rosa Bridal

Bluefly

Bridal Boutique of Carmel

Bride Couture

Bride Power

Carine’s Bridal Atelier

Dream Bridal L.A.

Encore Bridal

The Frock

Hitched Salon

Once Wed

Preowned Wedding Dresses

Sabrina Ann

Scarlett’s Closet

Stylebug

Your Dream Dress

Did you purchase your dress over the internet? What was your experience like? Do you have any additional tips or websites to share? Tell the hive! I’ll compile any additional sites in my next post and tempt you with some of their delectable offerings. Until then, happy shopping!