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Dearest Auntie Flo,
I am sorry, but you are not invited to our wedding. I know how much we both enjoy our monthly visits together—even though you have been giving me horrible bloating and cramps lately. Mr. Cookie and I have a love/hate relationship with you! Every time you come to visit, Mr. Cookie has to rub my belly and says I become very irritable. 
But we both like that your visit indicates we will not be welcoming newly baked cookies to the family, just yet!
Recently, it seems like you keep pushing back your monthly visit. Your September visit is nudging closer and closer to our wedding date. I apologize, but during our wedding I just cannot accommodate your demands. Having my bridesmaid lift up my wedding dress, while I try to change a tampon, is just not an experience that I want to share with them. I also want my hormones at a steady level; I am already going to be emotional as is! In addition, Mr. Cookie and I would also like to get to know one another, in the biblical sense, if you know what I mean. 
We just can’t do “it” with you coming between us.
So, for the sake of our wedded bliss, can you please schedule your visit before the wedding? By your November visit, I will have beautiful pictures of the wedding to show you.
It would be ever so helpful for you to comply with my demand! Even though your visit will not to be able to ruin our wedding day, I prefer that you not attend.
Hope to see you earlier rather than later,
Miss Cookie
LOL. This truly makes being a groom blogger ever so rewarding
hahahaha. i love that mr. mango has the first comment on this.
I am WITH you. Unfortuantely due to some major health issues (experienced in the past 3 weeks no less, after 33+ years of great health!) I have no idea when my Auntie Flow is appearing. So I am just praying that she has mercy.
lol hilarious
eeeeep! can you imagine if she did visit? I am worried about the same issue… I will keep my fingers (and every other limb) crossed for you. and YES, I too find it hilarious that Mr. Mango commented first, it’s so nice to have a man around for perspective!
God, tell me about it. My current extrapolations (considering I’m 9 mths out), predicts that my own aunt will be arriving the DAY BEFORE my wedding!
Cannot happen.
This might be a dumb or too personal question - but is no one on the pill? According to my schedule Aunt Flo should be accompanying us on our honeymoon, but as she is not invited… I’ll just keep her away by not skipping a week of pills…
@kpenn: This only works with some pills (monophasic) for some people… but I did it for years before I got an IUD!
@kpenn: That’s what I was thinking too! I always do this around big events!
hahah, that’s awesome. also, kpenn, that usually works best if you start doing it a few months in advance, otherwise it will usually still show up…
i’m on depo shots and don’t get mine. unless i’m under a lot of stress! for some reason, that just brings it on.
lol! so hilarious!! 
i have been thinking the same thing for the past two weeks.
also, mr mango your comment is making me lol
“newly baked cookies”?!?!? I nearly fell off my chair at work!
Good luck!
sometimes the “skipping that week” doesn’t work, so it is better to alter it ahead of time…one of my close relatives (back in the day) got hers the day of her wedding…bless her heart…and of course she was still a v***** 
Hopefully this works out for you. Mine was not supposed to come for visit the week of my wedding but (I think b/c of stress) it came anyway, almost two weeks early!!! I was bummed. But it forced me to deal with my dress on my own in the bathroom which was nice to figure out. Plus the bathroom at the venue had complimentary tampons and when I ent to get one they were almost gone. I went back to the table and mentioned to my sister that I couldn’t belive they were all gone int he first half hour of the reception and she said “Oh here” and opened her purse and there they all were. She had pocketed most of them. Classy.
@Mr. Mango: I am glad this post made your bee experience more rewarding 
Oh my goodness, I was in a pissy mood and that actually put a smirk on my face. Thank you. Aunt Flo is the reason I asked my MOH to perform a not so typical MOH duty….. She prescribes and gives me depo since she’s a PA. I love her. I haven’t seen Auntie since late December/early January. I don’t miss that witch, she was a real thorn in my side. 
hahhahaha….love it
ps - aunt flo - take mercy on me and let mine end just in time to enjoy my special day!
I have planned ahead. I did the math on my calendar and saw that I was set to start my period on my wedding day… so I am going to skip my sugar pills for two months so I know I will be “visitor” free until after the honeymoon. Hooray!
I was literally laughing out loud while reading this and my (male) boss walks by and says, “If it’s that funny then forward it to me” and then I laughed even harder!!! haha!
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Mrs. Cookie, Denver Age and Occupation: 25, Nonprofit Fundraiser/Theatre Designer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Financial Analyst Engagement Date: September 2007 Wedding Date: September 2008 Blogging Since: May 8, 2008 Venue: Ten Mile Station About Me: With a degree in Theatre I never realized that planning a wedding was a lot like Theatre Management, until I started planning my own. I am a coffee addict, especially Starbucks' Grande Mochas, yummy! I love to cook (especially chocolate chip cookies for my honey), travel to exotic places, and be creative. As a couple, Mr. Cookie and I are extremely practical, down to earth, and children at heart. We live in a cozy abode with our adorable Pomeranian, and love to play board games and watch movies into the evening.
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