C’mon, RSVP Already, People!
August 8th, 2008 @ 4:40 pm by Miss Sea Breeze
I’ve always known I can be a bit of a procrastinator at times, but I didn’t know how many other procrastinators there were out there ’till now… and all of them are our friends.
When we sent out our wedding invitations, we included a card with information on how to contact our travel agent before {date}. Yes, we did end up underlining the date, after about an hour of hemming and hawing over it (will it come off as being too pushy? but if I don’t, will they see it? is it better to bold than to underline?? AHHHH!!!). This date is also plastered all over our wedding website.
When that day was just four days away, I was stressing out since the only people who had booked thus far were our immediate families and close extended family (aunts/uncles/cousins), and Mr Breezy’s parents’ friends.
I mean, when we announced it, everyone and their dog exclaimed how totally pumped they were and how they were definitely coming, etc. etc. Today, at 63 people, we are actually on the larger side for destination weddings, at least based on what I’ve read on the various forums. But it seems only, like, 3 of those are our friends (who are not related to us).
I couldn’t help but freak out a bit.
I’m sure part of it has to do with the fact that us younger people have a harder time planning vacations and booking off work, not to mention all the ones who are expecting. And I know for a fact a few have said that it’s so far away they just have a hard time committing. Far away?? It’s only 3 months away now. And there I was stressing that I was soooo far behind in booking the resort since so many other girls out there book theirs like, a YEAR in advance. I wonder how they got their guests to book so far ahead?
Eventually I convinced Mr SB to send out a reminder email. After all, they’re mostly his friends anyway, and (he didn’t say it but I’m sure he thought it) that way I wouldn’t go type-A all over them. I love them all, truly. But jeez, people!
Am I being unreasonable? Anyone else stress over their RSVPs?
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18 Responses to “C’mon, RSVP Already, People!”
I’m with Sweet Tea …. I sent out my invites FOUR months before the RSVP date (we’re having a mini-destination wedding, and I didn’t want to mail the invites in the middle of the summer to have them get lost in the shuffle) … and we don’t even have a quarter of them back.
Like, HELLO! Are you coming or NOT?!
Yep. It was a month before the wedding and people were still dragging their feet to make travel plans. ‘It’s still so early.’ Um, no, no it’s not. Especially considering there was a giant music fest in town.
@kleverkira: I just added you to my Google Reader I want to try like ALL those recipes!
ianother point of view: it may be hard for some ppl to commit due to their financial situation.
there may be guests whose situations have changed since you originally talked about it. they may no longer have the extra finances to spring the trip.
i know this has happened to at least some of our guests, and i am expecting a rather low RSVP % bc of it.
I had one friend tell me she wasn’t sure 4 months ago because of another wedding on the same day. I still haven’t heard back from her. At this point, I almost don’t care if people come or not. Just RSVP! It’s especially frustrating since I’m waiting for this first round of RSVPs before I can decide who to send out in the second round.
We’re doing a mini destination wedding near Cape Cod and a lot of Cali friends have bailed, most saying it’s due to their finances. Just trying to keep my eyes on the prize. Hang in there.
I’m with you! a lot of our guests were super psyched about coming to our DW but now wer’e getting responses that they won’t be able to come after all, due to financial situations. Others who are coming, keep telling us “it’s still too early” to book flights/hotels forgetting (even though we keep reminding them) that flights are limited to our location and the closer we get to the date the pricier tickets get….
Another problem we had was with a few guests who agreed to come, booked hotel/air and didn’t tell us! It wasn’t until we emailed them that we found out. We’re really glad they will be with us but it is very frustrating when we’re trying to keep an accurate guest list. Ultimately it leaves us wondering why we bothered sending (pre-stamped) response cards w/envelopes if no one was going to bother using them…. 
i’m right there with you, without the added stress of a DW, though… our invitations have been out for a while now. since our RSVP deadline is one week off, i’m trying to be zen about it, but i want so badly for people to just freaking respond already! i anticipate many people needing reminding… the ironic thing is that many people we know are coming (have already made travel plans, reservations, etc.), just haven’t responded yet. *sigh*
i am thinking happy thoughts and cultivating patience. way to go for having your FI follow up. 
Our rsvp deadline is today, and we’re still missing 15 rsvps. :/ We’ve sent out at least one reminder email and have set a sunday night cut off date. It sucks but you just can’t keep waiting.
totally feel you! we are less than 30 days away and we still haven’t heard from a ton of ppl! GRRR
This seems to be a running theme, people not RSVPing. It’s so rude, damnit!
Our RSVPs required people to respond online. I understand not everyone knows how to use a computer so those people ended up calling us.
But we’ve also had to call people. I think it is just the height of rudeness for people to respond late. Especially without any apology of some sort. Are you telling me you can’t spare even 2 minutes to call and let us know you’re coming?!
One couple (FIs cousin) responded a month AFTER the due date and that was probably because we left a gazillion messages on their phone! And to top it off, they didn’t even say why or sorry or anything!
This issue was driving me into states of dementia all week - our deadline was last Friday and we had something like half of our guests who still hadn’t responded. The ones that most boggled my mind were not the ones that still hadn’t decided whether they were going to travel a long distance less than 3 weeks out (a huge chunk of my family - *eyeroll*) but several of FH’s friends who had every intention of coming and just “forgot” that they needed to tell us! Huh?? Who does that???
We still have about 4 or 5 people that haven’t responded to emails, calls, text messages, facebook messages, etc., so we’re assuming that they’re not coming at this point. But I can easily say that this has been the most frustrating part of wedding planning so far (even beyond actually making the guest list!)
@Claudia: I hear you: the closer the date gets, the more expensive it is! So that’s why I’ve basically accepted those ppl aren’t coming… unless a TOTALLY rad sale happens in the next 3 months.
@all: In our situation,if they’ve booked with our travel agent, I pretty much take that as an RSVP and it’s ok… but it’s the people that haven’t booked AND haven’t called/emailed us or even acknowledged receipt of the invitation that kills me!
I think everyone has this problem, we certainly did. Mr. Pumpkin wanted to have “Sorry you couldn’t make it, catch you next time” cards made up to send out to everyone who didn’t reply by the deadline. Haha!
We had one cousin who was rumoured to be coming but would not return my repeated e-mails or phone calls to confirm. The Monday before the wedding I left him one last message explaining that this was a plate dinner, not a buffet, and that we had assigned seating so I NEEDED to know if he was coming or not. I told him that if I didn’t hear back from him by Thursday that week I was going to assume he was not coming. He did not respond.
Then the night before the wedding I heard that he was here and that he’d brought his brand new girlfriend and 2 of his teenaged kids, none of whom were invited. AGHHHH! So, we had to re-do seating arrangements and escort cards and everything. Soooo frustrating. And he’s been married 3 times! He should know how this stuff works by now!
Wow, I guess even over a year later, I really needed to vent about that…
I so feel you guys, my deadline is Monday and I’m missing 1/2 the RSVP’s. I’m sick over it. I mean, we even cut the guest list down to people who were really important to us, and they have the nerve to not even respond! I’m disappointed in them, seriously, and I thought only Pennsylvania people were like this!! I couldn’t imagine trying to plan a DW. I’m glad for my own mental state that I didn’t go that route. Good Luck Sea Breeze!!!
Miss Sea Breeze, Vancouver/Dominican Republic
Age and Occupation: 30, Communications Manager
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Experiential Marketing Director
Engagement Date: October 6, 2007
Wedding Date: November, 2008
Blogging Since: July 17, 2008
Venue: Majestic Colonial Resort, Punta Cana
About Me: Planning a destination wedding by the sea should be (oh no she di-in't…) a breeze (…*sigh* yep, she did) but when you've never been to the Caribbean, your powers of imagination are really put to the test. Luckily, I'm 90% resourceful, creative optimist (and kooky, neurotic practicalist-if-that's-a-word for the other ten). Other than planning our week-long celebration of family, friends, laughter and love, I adore books, shoes and… you guessed it… long walks on the beach.
don’t even get me started…