I have been to some weddings which did not live up to the bride and groom’s expectations.
No, we’re not talking invitations or flowers or even cake here. I’m talking about one of those things that you spend hours and hours planning for but still sometimes can’t really control – the guest list.
Unfortunately, at these weddings, once the reception began, no one got the hilarious jokes during the wedding party’s speeches and no one hit the dance floor or did an impromptu locomotion routine around the room and there was no fun after-party.
Since the actual party is a big part of our wedding vision, I vowed our wedding guest list would be 90% made up of our friends who really know how to party.
Considering we sent out about 120 invitations I felt 63 yes-s (thus far) was pretty damn good. Or so I thought.
Then I started thinking about the ones that haven’t booked yet or let us know they couldn’t make it. And there are… a LOT. I think I will have to make a pie chart to make sense of it all (’cause yes, I’m dorky like that). I mean, I know we have a lot of family that’s coming and quite of few of Mr Breezy’s parents’ friends… but really, 63 of them?
And then I realized that there is one MAJOR thing thwarting my aspirations of having a friend-heavy guest list that I hadn’t previously accounted for…
BABIES!
Seriously, what the heck? Am I really that old? Are we really all ‘grown-ups’ already?!
I had to sit down and make a list. So here it is: of all our invited friends, the number of couples who either have/will have babies (less than 2 yrs) or are going to be very pregnant by the time our wedding rolls around in November is… (drumroll please)… SIXTEEN.
That’s 16 couples, mind you, which equals 32 people on our guest list. Currently 3 of those couples are coming anyway (immediate family who wouldn’t miss it for the world) but the rest probably aren’t.
What is with all these babies?
I mean, I know there’s a lot of baby-bump watching in the celebrity world lately, but I thought maybe I was just noticing it because I’m ‘of a certain age’. And maybe my friends are all preggers also because I’m ‘of a certain age’. But it can’t be just that?
Is it just me, or did you also have a lot of people decline your wedding invite because of baby issues? Do you think we’re in the middle of another baby boom?
I’m a few years younger, so I’m in the middle of ‘wedding boom’ but babies are already (possibly) preventing some folks from attending, namely my dear cousin whose first baby was supposed to be our flower girl! I want her to do what’s best for her pregnancy but…dangit!
One of my bridesmatrons was a superstar. She gave birth, via emergency c-section, one month to the day before my destination wedding. Despite my multiple attempts to give her options once she found out she was pregnant, and especially after the difficult delivery, she insisted on being there…as a bridesmatron. I don’t have kids so I won’t truly know how awesome her showing up was until then but I do know she was uncomfortable, tired and stressed and it did not show at all. Having her there with her adorable baby made me realize what an amazing friend she is and added so much to our wedding day.
i’m in the midst of a baby boom myself. a lot of my friends who were married during the first wedding wave [yup...multiple waves] are all popping out the kiddies [one of which is working on her second! and one hoping to avoid a third! lol] so by the time my wedding rolls around, i’ll have a big decision as to what to do with all my “nieces and nephews” when it comes to the guest list.
I thought I wasn’t doing TOO badly, but on consideration, out of a guestlist of 70-ish I have one couple whose baby is due the day after my wedding, one who lives in the UK and might not feel like travelling out with her 11-month-old, and one 2nd cousin (who was very much on the B-list anyway) whose wife has to have an emergency C-section the month of our wedding because the baby’s urethra is not developing properly. So that is six people out of 70, hmmm. But none of them are exceptionally close to me, and none of my best friends are even married yet, so I could be doing worse!
Our wedding youngest guest was 2 months old. He flew all the way from Toronto with his 3 siblings (and parents)! My sister is hard core like that 
A good friend of mine left her 1.5 year old with her parents to come to our wedding.
34 children (30 were under the age of 4) were invited to our destination wedding. 95% of those belong to our very good friends. So, we got a nanny service – 7 nannies total – and it was money well spent. We also got busses to transport everyone. From before the save-the-dates went out, everyone knew that Yes, they could bring their children, and Yes, they could still have a good time because they didn’t need to take care of their kids or drive. And now all of our RSVP’s are in – and guess what happened, most of our friends decided to leave their kids at home and have a vacation!! They have told me that since from the beginning they’ve known they could bring their kids – they committed in their minds (and wallets) to coming way back in February. Once summer started, and they realized a vacation would be nice, they found arrangements for their kids. Had they known in Feb (when the STDs went out) that they couldn’t bring their kids, they wouldn’t have committed right away because they wouldn’t have yet known if someone would be available to take care of the kids, etc.
So my suggestion is to make it kid friendly (and it can still be a party), so that guests truly feel like they have an option to bring or leave their kids. (It is hard on small budgets to get nannies and busses – by far one of our largest expenditures – but there are lots of things we are cutting in order to make it work, and it is worth it to have 60 friends getting on a plane to come to our wedding!!)
lots of babies, but most of them are post “attached to boob” so I shouldn’t have a problem plying them away from their kids for the night.
Oh – and we have a 7 year old flying in from Mozambique, Africa to be our flower girl!!
Yes, preach it, sister!
none of my friends kids are under 1, but I have some that are trying to get pregnant, so we don’t know if they can be bridesmaids for sure…
i’m set to be an 8 month pregnant bridesmaid (bridesmatron, technically, i guess). when my friend asked if i would be in her wedding, i didn’t hesitate to say yes. that always surprises people, considering i’ll be “so far along” but i haven’t really had a difficult pregnancy and when people ask me if i’ll be uncomfortable, i usually just shrug and say that it’s not like i’d be any more comfortable if i wasn’t in the wedding that day. pregnant is pregnant. my life hasn’t stopped because of it. pretty much the only things that would stop me from standing by my friend on her wedding day would be doctor’s orders or an early delivery.
I am definitely in the midst of a baby boom! We had a “no kids” wedding, except for my two nieces who were the flower girls, and so we had a number of people RSVP no because they either didn’t want to travel with their little ones or didn’t want to leave them with a babysitter.
I also only had one bridesmaid partially because of pregnancies and children. One of my friends was 8.5 months pregnant at the time of the wedding and the other has 4 kids under the age of 7 and although I know she would have done anything I asked, including being a bridesmaid, I just couldn’t add anything more to her already crazy, busy life.
So, long story short – I feel your pain! Try not to worry about it too much, your day will be perfect because you and Mr. Breezy will be married! That is all that really matters, right?
Yes, we got married a *cough* little *cough* later than our friends and family, which meant that many of our guests now have young children. Ours was the first wedding with all the new babes, so we didn’t know what to expect. Everyone came, which was great. (We invited children). But we were rather taken aback by how early our guests had to leave. No late-night partying like at our friends’ weddings! Totally understandable, but we probably would have planned the timeline a little differently. We would have started earlier and condensed the events (ie, cut the cake sooner, etc). I would recommend the kid’s room; We had a room adjacent to the ballroom with kids activities that was well used and helped keep everyone happy.
I have at least 35 kids coming to my 150 guest wedding. The wedding isn’t until 7pm, but there will be a great band and great food – I bought a boat load of craft supplies and kid snacks and drinks, and I’ll put it all out and let them go to town. The kids will probably just run around and play together and hopefully DANCE like I will! Maybe I’ll even sneak some of their fruit snacks and apple juice for myself! I’m sure I’ll catch some of my friends gluing sequins and feathers onto construction paper with the 7 yr olds…
Babies aren’t preventing attendance (that I know of), but we did have to cut children of friends & cousins from the guest list because it would have added an additional 58 guests…over 30 of the little tykes being our friends’.
I don’t have the baby problem, well not as bad. I think two couples that we are inviting will be pregnant at the time.
The problem that we have is there are no single girls! All of the groomsmen keep asking me about all the “available women”. We don’t have a single single lady on the guest list.
Just thought it was a little funny. No weddings will be held because they met at ours. Unless there is a breakup involved as well.
three of my best friends are either pregnant or trying to get pregnant right now. it makes me sad that there’s a possibility of so many people i love not being at our wedding, but i’m trying to put my happiness for them first. it’s a total baby boom, just like you described!
I feel your pain! I’m 31 and our wedding was this past June. Many of our friends are married and have started families (a total of 7 children have been born within the last 2 years). We love all of our friends kids but we decided to have a ‘children-free’ wedding. Most of our friends embraced the idea of having a ‘kid-free weekend’ but some decided to decline. It’s nuts though when you consider that only a few years ago, kids were not a real factor!
I’m 28, my FI is 32, and we have TONS of friends with little ones. Out of a guest list of ~350, we have almost 60 kids and babies.
FI originally didn’t want to have any kids at our semi-destination (weekend at a state park) wedding. The problem is, since EVERYONE is having to travel for our wedding, that would cut out a huge portion of our friends, who would probably not want to leave their kids with a babysitter for the whole weekend. Plus we’re having 6 kids (all relatives) in the wedding party, so this way they will have more kids to play with and hopefully cause less trouble. I plan on having a craft table and expect that some families will leave the reception early, which is fine. I still have enough child-less friends that hopefully it will still be fun with lots of dancing! Several of my friends have told me they’re practicing dancing with their kids for our wedding, should be very fun to watch their moves!
Mrs. Sea Breeze, Vancouver/Dominican Republic Age in 2008 and Occupation: 30, Communications Manager Fiance's Age in 2008 and Occupation: 29, Experiential Marketing Director Engagement Date: October 6, 2007 Wedding Date: November, 2008 Blogging Since: July 17, 2008 Venue: Majestic Colonial Resort, Punta Cana About Me: Planning a destination wedding by the sea should be (oh no she di-in't…) a breeze (…*sigh* yep, she did) but when you've never been to the Caribbean, your powers of imagination are really put to the test. Luckily, I'm 90% resourceful, creative optimist (and kooky, neurotic practicalist-if-that's-a-word for the other ten). Other than writing about our week-long celebration of family, friends, laughter and love, I adore books, shoes and… you guessed it… long walks on the beach.
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