Weddingbee

If you could do it again would you have seen Mr. CP before the ceremony to do all of the formals? Just wondering because I’m on the fence.

As an assistant wedding photog, I can honestly say, IT DOESN’T HAVE TO GO THAT WAY!
Here’s a typical schedule:
After ceremony, bride and groom have photos done with parents and siblings. Then relatives are dismissed to go to cocktail hour or check in to hotel room.
Next are bride and groom and bridal party shots.
Then JUST brides and bridesmaids. (groomsmen watch)
THEN just Groom and groomsmen (bridesmaids watch)
Then bridal party is dismissed (usually they go in the limo and party).
Then photo does formal shots of bride and groom.

Folks, this should take 30 minutes. An hour tops.

You should schedule a small gap between ceremony and reception (AND NO RECEIVING LINE). Maybe have champagne and strawberries at the reception before the cocktail hour.

Don’t make this part too complicated (too many backdrops, too many relatives, too many RULES). Don’t give your photog too many specifics. Trust in your decision to book with them (get referrals).

In my 4 years on the job, my photo hasn’t had 1 bride or groom who has missed their cocktail hour.

@shanna–I honestly wouldn’t have done anything differently. A lot of the problem was that we were late arriving anyway (this was because of the aforementioned trolley problem). The moment of seeing Mr. CP for the first time is something I will never forget, and he said time kind of stopped for him. I would never take that back, and neither would he.

@dana–I think so too!! Scandal!

@bob–I totally agree, it doesn’t have to happen that way. The issue was most definitely NOT my photographer, or my list of photos–they were pretty much what you detailed above…the only thing we added was the disguise glasses (which we ended up taking out) and a few extras if we had time (which we didn’t). Our main issue was arriving at the reception late to begin with, because of the issue with the trolleys (which I will get into more later). What you’re suggesting is to either have a gap (not possible in our situation) or have a longer reception (by adding strawberries and champagne, you’re basically just making the cocktail hour longer), which is also not an option for many people–it’s either too expensive or just not an option. :-/ I honestly have no idea how long this took, but we definitely were not taking photos for an hour. It’s just that we were late to the reception venue, combined with having to have all of our pictures taken at one time.

@Stef–I think these things are more important to the families than to people of our generation. Maybe they’ll be more important when we’re older? I also think it’s a way of guaranteeing that there is a photo of each person in your family/bridal party, rather than risking that they might get missed.

Interesting post -

Just today I received a shot list from a bride - it is interesting to hear your perspective on the events ‘after the fact’.

I wrote more feelings about this on my blog - here’s the trackback:
http://www.erichegwer.com/#79

That kinda sucks that your “shoots” got all messed up, but great attitude in dealing with it!

Also, thank you for posting your plan (even if it didn’t work out), this is on my to do list, and although I’m sure it wouldn’t take long to figure out, it is one less thing I’ll have to think about!

I’m glad you got to do it the way you wanted to (not seeing each other beforehand)! And too bad about the timing of the rest of it, but you have the right attitude — something always surprises you by going wrong, and it’s not a big deal unless you let it be.

I do wholeheartedly second what you said here: “Don’t assume that anyone actually reads anything you give them.” Even though we put out lots of information and tried to tell people when to be where, some still got it messed up. I was amazed that the day before, one of the people in my party thought they weren’t going to be fed all evening (even though the wedding invitation said “Dinner reception and dancing . . . “, and my SIL missed all the formal shots because she was still getting ready and thought that was just for the wedding party (even though the schedule said “formals with family members and wedding party at …”). Wow! Tell people over and over, or they won’t get it!

Looking forward to more recap, Mrs. CP!

I’m a wedding photographer, and am so sorry to hear this. Wedding formals should be quick and painless… a good photographer will spend 30 minutes tops on these pictures and will insist on not doing things TWICE like you had outlined. Most of my brides do see each other before and say that is the BEST part of the whole day. It is the quiet moment to just themselves without everyone else around that they remember. They get a moment to talk, exchange cards, gifts, or just tell each other how beautiful/handsome they look. (You don’t get this opportunity when you first see each other walking down the aisle.) As a photographer, we get all the “formals” done before guests arrive so as soon as the ceremony is over, we can capture the true moments - the hugs and congrats and tears from family and friends. When you don’t see each other, you are quickly whisked away by your photographer to hurry up and get the formals done. You don’t get to spend those first moments as husband and wife enjoying the love and congrats from your family and friends, and miss out on some of the best images of the day. We love it when couples do go to their cocktail hour. This is my favorite time to get candid shots of all your friends. This is your party… you should be there! I can’t think of a single other party or event that would go on without the host present! Your friends and family came there to spend time with you… NOT to wait around for your to take pictures. The tradition of not seeing each other before the ceremony works well with the tradition of having a church wedding in the morning and the reception in the evening… but when you have the ceremony and reception all in the same place/location, not only are you not being TRADITIONAL (no church), but it is being somewhat rude to guests to make them wait for you to arrive. I tell my couples that they still are waiting for the wedding day… we still make a very special, unique and great moment… and we capture the first expressions.

For all the brides to be… please don’t dismiss this idea. It is so worth AMAZING pictures, no stress photography, and happy guests! And honestly, I have NEVER had a single couple regret it. In fact most say that first meeting was by far their favorite time of the whole day.

I was the photographer for a quickly-planned family wedding earlier this month, and some of my favorite pictures are between the formals, where the bride reacts to her mother yelling “now one with cousin so-and-so!” “Now one with just the people from out of town!” The whole process took maybe 15 minutes, probably less, it just felt endless.

Your list of groups looks way to long. Your photographer should have worked with you more to fit things in. My photographer had us limit our group list. He warned us that the family, guests, and the bride and groom get tired and bored when they take to long. we did the essential family shots and that was it.

We went partly into our cocktail hour for the shots of the two of us, which was fine with me and I expected that. We saw eachother before the ceremony and it was wonderful. It actually relieved a lot of pre ceremony stress, and we have wonderful pictures of us before and after the ceremony.