Ice, Ice, Baby
August 30th, 2008 @ 1:02 pm by Miss Hot Cocoa
Mr. Hot Cocoa and I have very different aesthetics. He’s traditional and classic; if he were a store he’d be Brooks Brothers or Falconable. If I could be a store, I’d be Anthropologie — fun and girly, with a splash of vintage. So when it came to picking out an engagement ring, Mr. HC said he would pick out the stone, but felt very strongly that I should pick out the setting. Initially, I was a little bummed about this — I had a whole fantasy of him surprising me with the perfect ring that he’d designed. But I got over it when I realized that this meant I got to do more shopping. Schweet!
Cue the bling photos.
At first, I zoned in on an emerald cut stone on a simple pave band. I really like the emerald cut. It’s understated, refined, and modern — the Natalie Portman of cuts.
[Image source.]
But when Mr. HC asked my mom for permission to propose to me (cute, huh?), she told him that under no circumstances could the engagement ring be square shaped. She had this whole theory of how the stone represented the marriage, and that it’s bad juju to have a stone with angles since you want your marriage to be smooth and corner-free. Oy vey. I’d never heard of such a theory. But here’s the thing about my mom: she’s superstitious and persistent. Oh, and Mr. HC finds her very intimidating. Bottom line — I wasn’t getting an emerald cut ring unless I was ready to find myself a new mom and a new fiance. Given that I’d had the former for 31 years and the latter for close to 15, it seemed a tad inconvenient to find new ones.
After near-talmudic discussions of whether cushion or asscher cuts qualified as “smooth and corner-free,” I relented and decided to go with a round stone. There was still, however, the question of the setting. A pave cathedral design was lovely, but I was nervous that the thick band might not be comfortable to wear on a daily basis.
An heirloom setting sounded right up my alley, but I wasn’t sure what it’d look like in person, and we’d already decided to get our ring online through Brilliant Earth.
One setting that I never thought about was the halo. It looked like a donut. And I wasn’t into any donuts that don’t come off a Krispy Kreme conveyer belt.
But then I saw the cover of the Spring 2008 edition of Martha Stewart Weddings. And my eye zeroed in on the ring on the upper right corner.
[Image source.]
Halo. Pave. Round. And so beautiful! Still a bit unsure about the computer rendering of the halo, I asked Eric Grossberg, the very accommodating co-owner of Brilliant Earth, to send me a picture of a real ring with a halo setting. He didn’t have a picture of the halo with a pave band, but he was able to show me what a halo with a plain band looked like. To my delight, the real ring was much more delicate and refined than the virtual ring. And it had a sweet vintage vibe that I completely fell for.
Ultimately, the ring was still a surprise, since I didn’t get to see the whole setting or the stone until Mr. HC proposed. And while it’s not at all what I thought I’d like when I first started looking, I love it and think it’s very me:
And here’s a closeup (don’t be scared off by my hairy knuckles — I’m 3/4 Chinese and 1/4 werewolf, apparently):
Given the title of this post, there’s only one appropriate way to end it.
Word to your mother!
Did you choose your setting, or did your fiance? Did your family have any say in the matter? Do you know of any other quirky theories about rings?
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29 Responses to “Ice, Ice, Baby”
I haven’t heard of getting a round stone for luck, but certainly the whole round theme is common in general. Hence why all Chinese banquets have *round* tables and the opening ceremonies at the Olympics.
Unfortunately, my FI did not ask permission even though I encouraged him to. He asked me what I might like in a ring, we went shopping one weekend where I gave him my first choice (which was a Tacori) and a couple more affordable options. I knew he was leaning towards the Tacori but didn’t see the ring until he proposed.
Gorgeous!
lol at your using “oy vey” and “near-Talmudic.” Yay Miss HC! All that time with Mr. HC has rubbed off. 
(Mr.GV claims he used “oy vey” before me, but I tell him now he’s allowed.)
Your ring is SO amazing. I bought that MS Weddings right after I’d gotten my very non-traditional ring, and the cover kept taunting me with sparkly goodness. I still adore my ring, but I had to hide that magazine!
The only other ring thing I know about is in Judaism (and possibly other religions), and I believe it’s an actual law: the wedding band is supposed to be a plain gold band with no adornment or engraving (although the engraving rule is arguable). I think there are several reasons for this: not showing off money, both at the wedding and after; symbols of eternity, purity, and wholeness (being a full circle with no breaks); and also some speculation about representing a coin… = ownership. 
ew. I love the symbolism involved but don’t feel like the plainness part is that important - or maybe I’m just making myself feel better about my ring not fitting all the rules!
Beautiful Cocoa! I didn’t have any say in the ring, but Mr. P did a great job finding something unique
Hello, I <3 you. Let me count the ways: 1. an ethically sourced diamond; 2. your input on the ring; 3. an awesome vintage-esque halo setting. A beverage after my own heart.
wow….thats stunning.
the halo looks great. i didnt really appreciate it until after i’d decided on a vintage design.
i love your manicure too. so delicate. very pretty. i’m aiming for that exact look on my wedding day. if i could just stop breaking my nails…..
I have almost the same ring, except I have a sapphire center stone instead of a diamond!
I never wanted a hand in designing it, I wanted it to be a total surprise. But I DID feel like some aesthetic advice would be much appreciated. We had talked about it for a while and I’d offer suggestions every once in a while, and I went to offer one yesterday and he said he didn’t want to hear it. After some coaxing, I learned that he purchased the ring just yesterday. SO~!
It’s so funny that you posted that cover, because the second ring on the second row in the orangeish box is my dream ring and how I’m getting mine reset this year. I have an oval set sideways already, but I love the pave on the outside of that one and the thin band.
Your ring is very pretty. I picked mine out and I actually was the first one to see it. I picked it up from the store! We eloped, so it was only ready the week before we got married, so I picked it up on my way to Vegas. 5 years ago yesterday. Where has the time gone?
GORGEOUS ring miss cocoa!!
I have the same ring too but with two pave bands. I absolutely love it! I also was never a fan of the “donut” but really wanted something delicate, but when I was “forced” to try on a setting similar to the one I ended up getting, (except it had 3 pave bands instead of 2), I couldn’t get it out of my mind. I started imagining the setting with 2 pave bands instead but could never find it. One day, fiance and I walked by the window of a jewelry store, and saw it!… so yes, in the end, I chose the setting :). He snatched it up while I was there because we were worried we would never find the setting again. He then took a few months to find the perfect diamond to go with it before he proposed. I am still madly in love with the ring, as I am him :). I always get so many compliments and it makes him so proud when I get a compliment about my e-ring in front of him.
my ring looks just like that. it’s a.jaffe and it has a flat bottom.
We have extremely similar rings! So of course I love it. I didn’t hear about the round superstition until after we had picked it out together-so we got good ju-ju by accident I guess!
@lilmissd and @Miss Sweet Tea: I am such a hairy beast!
@Dmd: I think the one in MS was a tacori too!
@GorgesViola: LOL. It’ll be plain band for me for the wedding band b/c of Judaism. Glad I got the pave band for the e-ring. 
@GetMarried4Less: I’m a nail biter! It’s taken me forever to get my nails long enough to have a grown up manicure.
@CarolineG: That sounds beautiful — is it also from Brilliant Earth?
@ist: Congrats!!
@KateMW: The oval pave sounds gorgeous!
@MM: That’s such a sweet story.
@christine: Flat bottom — that sounds like a great touch!
I have the same one! My FI had it made for me based on a few pictures I gave him ( er.. taped to his bathroom mirror!) ha! I love seeing it on other people too. It catches my eye and then I think, hey that’s my ring too!
Your ring is stunning Miss HC. In answer to your question, my fiance and I actually designed it ourselves. I like to call it my Frankenstein ring because it was (no lie) the band from one ring, the side stones from a second, the head from a third and the stone from a fourth. We put 100% faith in our jeweler to pull off something amazing and he did.
The funny part is that the entire time we were talking engagement, I was dead set on a 3 stone princess cut… I have a round center, princess sides and pave band
@bugaboo and @HappyAmy: Woo hoo for good taste. LOL.
@nicole3381: I love “frankenstein” ring!
your ring is beautiful! I picked mine out with out knowing it. My fiance’s best friend had been dating a girl for a long time and I alwys teased him abuot when he was gonna propose. So one day he asked me to help pick out a ring for his girlfriend who he was gonna pop the question to. Little did I know I was picking out my own ring! I didn’t findout about the little plan my fiance and him had until the day I was asked that oh so important question. I love my ring!
augh! I love emerald cut, and wear one myself as as an occasional right hand ring (I deliberately picked a band ring as my engagement ring so that the ring I wear more regularly is low profile), so I’m sad your mom nixed it. however, I am also a big fan of the halo so that’s a darn good alternative in my books 
@ljcadv: That’s such a sweet story. Your fiance’s very clever!
@Ms Popcorn: Ooh . . . right hand ring. Yes, I think that’s what I need! LOL.
So pretty!! I’ve never heard of that theory, but it kinda makes sense! Yay for moms.
The ring is gorgeous. I actually sent my fiance a massive amount of pictures of rings that I loved so that he could get an idea of my taste. He actually had the ring made and everyone, including myself, was impressed with the finished product.
This is going to sound weird, but…
you have beautiful hands.
Oh, and your ring is pretty too.
@Elle: That’s wonderful that your fiance got it right!
@L: LOL. I actually think my hands are stumpy (they are inhumanly small), so that’s such a great compliment to get.
[...] jewelry, including the useful Greenkarat and Brilliant Earth (from which Mr. HC and I got my e-ring), she happened on Perlis’s designs, which are fashioned from eco-friendly materials. According to [...]
My fiance picked mine out all by himself. We did go window shopping together so he could get an idea of what I like, though. I ended up with a beautiful princess cut solitaire with a low setting (the one thing I insisted on, since my mom stopped wearing hers cause she kept scratching me when I was a baby).
Miss Hot Cocoa, Boston/Los Angeles
Age and Occupation: 31, JD/PhD Student
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 32, Medical Student
Engagement Date: May 30, 2008
Wedding Date: March, 2009
Blogging Since: April, 2008
Venue: Ritz Carlton, Marina Del Rey
About Me:
I am a professional student by day and an amateur cupcake taster, bargain shopper, and wedding planner by night. I am obsessed with NPR, the Food Network, paper, dance shows, Anthropologie, post-structuralist theory, Weddingbee!, "The Office," and celebrity gossip. When not procrastinating from my dissertation, I spend time catering to Jellyby, our overly anxious shih tzu, and getting to know Mr. Hot Cocoa. We have only been dating for fifteen years, so it's like I'm in love with a stranger! From the East Coast, we are planning a Jewish-Chinese Extravaganza in L.A., where we both grew up.
WoOwza! Now that sum bling.
And as for being 1/4 warewolf.. we must be cousins.