Weddingbee

We’re leaving. Leaving for Montana. And, believe it or not, my goal is not to think about our wedding until September 5th, when we rehearse. It will be hard, but not as hard as the last two weeks have been.

I’ve shouldered my burden and kept pushing on through. I’ve put on a happy face, especially when talking to others or writing for Weddingbee, where things tend to be fun fun happy wedding-landia. The truth is that the last two weeks have been absolute hell, and I have wanted, very badly, not to be dealing with this wedding any more.

I’m lucky because nothing has “gone wrong.” No major vendor disaster or family drama has befallen us. I simply cannot cope with the stress of planning any more. I no longer feel like I can balance my career, appease my family, and tie together a plethora of details with businesses in another state. I am tired of unreturned phone calls and email, missing critical details, and misinformation. I am ready to break up with our wedding.

Thank God I planned for this in advance.

Yes, I really and truly realized that I would be sick of planning our wedding before it was over. That I might even hate it before the big day came. And, thankfully, I don’t hate it. But I do feel even more exhausted than I ever imagined I would. Even slightly depressed. And a little worried. Everyone says it’s the “happiest day of their life” and that their wedding was “perfect.” What if I don’t feel that way? What if I am overwhelmed, over-stimulated, and stressed? What if I don’t feel anything?

Don’t worry, I’m not preoccupied by these thoughts, but they do occur to me from time to time. I’ve mostly just been completely and utterly occupied with details, as I knew I would be, which is why we decided to go to Glacier a week before the wedding.

We’re going to spend first part of the week relaxing at the Lake McDonald Lodge, which will be a change for us, as we’re used to staying at Mr. CP’s family cabin. We’re going to do a bit of hiking and climbing, then leave for a 2-night, 3-day backpacking trip with friends. Basically, we want to spend time in the park how we normally would, without the added stress of planning a wedding.

The reason for this is essentially that I’m afraid I won’t enjoy the wedding if I go in full-throttle without time to transition from being a planner back to being a bride. I intentionally built in time to step back from the wedding and let my anticipation build a little bit to make the “big day” more worthwhile. I’d encourage you to do the same!

The one downside of all this time has been making sure that the wedding is essentially finalized a week before it happens. We will be without cell service and internet for the most part while we are in Glacier. Eek! And because there was critical information we needed to convey to our guests about details and timing before we went “off the grid,” we had to make sure everything was pretty much nailed down—and that was a lot, A LOT, of added stress.

But I’m done. After two weeks of hell, I’ve finished up at work and finished with the wedding. Yesterday I kicked it out of the nest and it will have the next week to decide whether it can fly on its own. . Our wedding coordinator will take care of all the final details and make sure the event comes together beautifully.

So we’re on our way, our car laden heavy with luggage and wedding decorations (plus several boxes sent with other guests). I’ve written some final details posts (and one surprise!) to keep you intrigued until the wedding next weekend, but the next time you hear from me live, it will likely be after we’re married! I hope to get in one true sign-off post before then, but in case I don’t… thanks for everything. You’ve all been so helpful and encouraging, like I never would have imagined!

Always,

Miss Cherry Pie

• Worrying Through the Week...
• Prepping the Bride