Please Say No
September 2nd, 2008 @ 11:32 am by Mrs. Hydrangea
We spent so much time arguing, compromising and finalizing our guest list that I really never took into consideration the size of the room, once we had the stage, dance floor, food etc. I guess I just always figured that a lot of people wouldn’t be able to attend the wedding, and that the room was a lot larger then it actually is. I was wrong.
Here sits our stack of returned RSVPs*. As of now, here’s the count:
298 Invited
153 Attending
39 Not Attending
We were hoping for only 200 to attend. The room, if we completely change the layout and plan for the night, will fit a max of about 240 people. So, doing the math, we have 106 responses yet to be received and, if all say yes, that’s putting our final count at 259!
I’m still hoping to reach only 200 attending, but after a run down of the missing RSVPs, we are estimating that the majority of them will accept the invitation. The cut off date for sending back the RSVPs is September 6th. After that date, any that we haven’t received we will have to call to find out if they plan on making it to the wedding. We really do hope that everyone can attend and I’m sure that if they can all make it, we will find a way to make it work.
Word to the wise - double and triple check your maximum invited with how many people your venue will hold. This was probably the least wise decision we’ve made through the whole planning process!
Have any of you come across the same problem when working your final numbers around the size of your venue?
*The one RSVP you see sitting in the opposite direction is the only one that we’ve received that has more names listed than the number of seats we have reserved for them. I’d say 1 out of 96 cards received isn’t so bad!
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20 Responses to “Please Say No”
For us, most of the last ones to RSVP were declining.
WOW! That is a lot of guests! Good luck!
We are in a similar boat as you are, but it’s not the room that’s the constraint…it’s that pesky budget. Our rsvp deadline isn’t until 9/24 so I think we’ll be getting a few more no’s before then…it will all work out no matter what. =)
Interestingly enough, most of our last RSVPs received were also declining. Even though we had mostly thought those people would attend. Having talked to some of them since then, the reason the RSVPs came so late was because they were hoping that whatever situation prevented them from coming (work, health issues, etc) would change. So maybe you will also find that the case with your guests.
Ahhh! We are in the same boat, too–inviting almost 390 people, but guestimating and PRAYING that only 250-300 will attend. The room will be a tight squeeze with 300. We haven’t even sent out invites yet and I’m already freaking out every time FMIL says so-and-so is planning to attend. It is an out-of-town wedding for most. Keep us updated!
I jumped on a venue before we finalized our guest list. The reception room could hold a max of 170 although that would have been very, very smooshed. Our guest list topped out at 219. Luckily, most of those guests were out of state and we knew they wouldn’t attend but it still freaked.me.out.
We ended up with just 115 people attending the wedding. I could not have imagined more people sitting in that room.
I’m sure you will be fine! If people haven’t responded by now, I would guess a majority won’t be attending.
i hear you! we are in the same boat but for different reasons. We will have plenty of room, but every time we get a no i say “we just saved $100!!!” I will miss those who cannot attend, but either way we will be married and hopefully not swimming in debt because of it.
@MrsDavis:
I’ve heard that the declines come in last, too.
As of Saturday, 54 are attending, 2 declined, 108 outstanding. Our RSVP date is September 25 so we have time but I wish the rest would start pouring in. Luckily our venue holds 400 people and we’ve invited 164 guests so we’ll be fine.
Miss Hydrangea, are you calling the guests that added additional guests or are you letting it slide? Just curious how you’re handling it. I haven’t had that issue yet.
So far you are getting a response rate of 79.69% attending. If that trend continues, you can expect 238 as the final count. But as others have pointed out, late responders may also be more likely to be “no” responders. Hope it works out.
@Jodi: We have only had one RSVP come back with 4 people, when only 2 were invited. If our numbers go below what we’d like, then we will let it slide, but, if not, Mr. H and his family will have to call them to let them know that, unfortunately, the extras cannot attend.
They sent it in for 4 after we had also sent out separate notes requesting that no children and no guests not listed on the invite attend.
Eek! They sent in a RSVP adding additional guests after you sent out a separate note telling everyone not to do that? Yikes! :-\
Good Luck Miss Hydrangea! My sister had the same problem- she ended up with a 98% acceptance rate. The venue had to be creative, but they made it work. It was an awesome night. Here’s hoping things will turn out a little more like we planned for our big days!
miss hydrangea- how did you send a separate note requesting no children and no extra guests? Did u do it with your invitations?
holy guest list!! I’ll send “no” vibes your way. I hear most of the nos come later anyway. Good luck!
Sounds like the insert you included really did the trick in keeping unwanted guests away!
@Miss Pineapple: Hahaha, I am the exact same way. Poor Mr. Avocado had a groomsmen cancel on him and I was sad for him for about 30 seconds before I got excited thinking how much closer that cancellation would bring me to the ideal budget.
@Miss Champagne: HeeHee…Holy Guest list…
Seriously though, how awesome do you feel that everyone wants to party with you guys?!? I feel your pain though…we’ve been trimming every which way we can
Our RSVPs are are also due on Saturday. We’ve been planning on an estimate of 250 guests (with 284 invited…nearly all in town), if our total were to be more than that, things would get tight, but it looks like we’ll be okay. Right now we’re at 153 yes, 30 no, and 101 outstanding. What I don’t get is why there are still so many oustanding RSVPs? There’s only 4 days left people!
Glad to see your guests are slackers, too. 
Good luck with the “No” responses!
Call me crazy, but we’re not doing RSVPs. Our wedding is the week after Christmas, on a bowl game day, plus, our families are so spread out. We’re using the invitations like announcements. My cousin is doing our catering and we’re using foods that can accommodate any size crowd.
Mrs. Hydrangea, Dallas
Age and Occupation: 26, Administrative Assistant
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Network Analyst
Engagement Date: June 2007
Wedding Date: September 2008
Blogging Since: January 14, 2008
Venue: Catholic Church and Reception at The W Hotel
About Me: Mr. H and I come from very different cultures and backgrounds so I'm excited to plan our wedding with a balance of both traditions. My mom has always been a DIY queen, and I'm just now starting to get into it with a new house and a wedding to plan!
Yikes! Hope you stay under your limit! We are having a similar situation in that we want everyone to say no too. We invited 201 and are only expecting 65-70 at the most… (out of town wedding for all) so far we are still good and only have had a few surprised but its still a stressful situation!