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Miss Sea Breeze, Vancouver/Dominican Republic Age and Occupation: 30, Communications Manager Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Experiential Marketing Director Engagement Date: October 6, 2007 Wedding Date: November, 2008 Blogging Since: July 17, 2008 Venue: Majestic Colonial Resort, Punta Cana About Me: Planning a destination wedding by the sea should be (oh no she di-in't…) a breeze (…*sigh* yep, she did) but when you've never been to the Caribbean, your powers of imagination are really put to the test. Luckily, I'm 90% resourceful, creative optimist (and kooky, neurotic practicalist-if-that's-a-word for the other ten). Other than planning our week-long celebration of family, friends, laughter and love, I adore books, shoes and… you guessed it… long walks on the beach.
About Miss Sea Breeze

In my last post, I was telling you about how Mr. Breezy and I had decided to take care of our girls’ bridesmaid dresses, and how I had taken it upon myself to find said dresses.

After more than three months of scouring the city’s stores, I came upon what I thought was the perfect purple bridesmaid dress at Jacob.

After I sent my girls the pictures, I got a reply from Miss P. She said she was in, so I went back and scooped up one for each girl, juuuuuuust to make sure that Jacob didn’t go out of stock or something.

Well, that turned out to be entirely unnecessary. Because when I went back a month later to return all the dresses, they still had oodles and oodles of them in each size.

I guess you could say I was overcautious.

Not to mention over-optimistic, over-exhausted, and over- OMIGOSH-ONLY-SIX-MONTHS-LEFT-WHAT-ARE-WE-GONNA-DOOOOO???

Yeah. Six months. Not six weeks. Months.

It was time for this bride to take a chill pill.

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I think that there’s a time in each bride’s wedding countdown when she suddenly gets an insurmountable urge to get every single possible detail decided/purchased/organized/DIY-ed/done immediately. We have this weird notion that as soon as we wrap up those details, we can kick back, relax, and just enjoy the rest of the engagement or something. (At least, I thought that was what would happen.) So we stress out and try to rush around getting things done.

Unfortunately, this time is usually so early in the process (”early” in real-time that is, not bride-time) that those around us–especially dear friends who have yet to endure the pain joy of planning their own weddings, and who do not understand why their bride friend is sending them five emails a day with links to bridesmaid dresses that all look pretty much the same to them, when there is still lots and lots of time to go shopping for dresses—think we are just plain insane.

Obviously, this is clear to me now, but that’s only because it’s four months later and I can look at it through my retrospect-acles (where the vision’s always 20/20).

Sure, I was disappointed when one of the girls said she didn’t think the Jacob dresses I had bought would work. Beyond that, I was annoyed with myself that I had this impossible vision of perfection in my head that was turning my shopping excursions into nightmares.

Once I calmed down, I realized that hey, this wasn’t that big of a deal. Sure, this dress was a strike, but everything happens for a reason. And it was time for me to get off of bride-time and out of this bride’s anxiety-riddled head space.

Most important of all, I remembered the reason I was doing this in the first place: to make sure my three wonderful friends who had each agreed to parade around in the Caribbean in a purple dress for an entire day (oh and what wonderful friends they are!), at least felt comfortable, looked smashing, and didn’t have to stress about anything.

My resolved strengthened, and a short mental vacation from bridesmaid dress shopping later, I went back to work.

And since I’d exhausted all the stores in my city, I bit my lip and dived into the world of online shopping.

(Results of my online hunts next time)

Was there a time during your planning experiences where you had to tell yourself to take a chill pill? Did one of your friends tell you that you needed to relax (…out of sincere concern for your health, that is) and put things into perspective?

14 Responses to “The One Where the Bride Takes a Chill Pill”

1.
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Miss Champagne says:

every.day.

2.
echo says:

ahahaha retrospect-acles!! LOVE IT!! I might need to borrow your pair at some point ;) I haven’t reached that chill pill point yet, but I’ve got plenty of time, so I’m sure it will happen.

3.
Katharine says:

What does everyone seem to have against purple? I love purple! Miss SB, if you want me to come be in your wedding party I will parade around the Caribbean in any damng purple thing you want :-)

As for the chill pill…this is going to sound stupid beyong belief, but I’m starting to freak out because I’m TOO CHILLED. Yup. I’m so laidback I’m terrified because surely I should be DOING something???

4.
Becky says:

A few days before my wedding, my nephew went into the hospital with spinal menengitis (he was only six months old). That definitely put everything into perspective!

He recovered wonderfully, thank goodness.
:) Becky

5.
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Miss Sea Breeze says:

@Katharine: It wasn’t the purple, it was the style of dress that didn’t work. I’m with you though… anyone who doesn’t like purple can’t be my friend. ;-)

6.
mdouris25 says:

Not sure what exactly your bridesmaids (and you) are looking for - but nordstroms has a decent size selection of purple dresses (in a variety of shades of purple!) You can search the dress shop online by event and color. Good luck.

7.
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Miss Avocado says:

Oh, did you find those retrospectacles in your online hunting for the purple dress? I’ve been putting in lots of orders for stuff lately, and I would love to add them to my shopping list.

8.
skiv says:

Check out http://www.donnaricco.com for dresses. She was a lifesaver. I changed from purple to dark blue but she has several purple options. My girls are in love with the dresses they ordered. They have totally different body types and live on opposite coasts. Don’t give up hope yet!

9.
amy says:

i.am.so.there.

sigh.

10.
WeddingKitty says:

Definitely! I get so excited when I can check something off in my little bride book, it is pretty pathetic. It makes me want to work out the details of each task at the same time, so I can make that little check mark. Grow up, right??

11.
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Miss Dumpling says:

i need a whole bottle right now. For reals! ::ahem:: mild panic attack at office max because they were out of labels. Ive had 3 or 4 people in the last week tell me to relax.

12.
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Miss Pomegranate says:

@Miss Champagne: Me. Too.

Or at least I’m told so. I think people are starting to hate me for being “too focused” and “too organized” - it wears on me, especially when it’s Mr. Pom saying those things. I wish I could just be happy with my loooong checklist, alas no. Oh well! Thank goodness for chill pills!

13.
bugaboo says:

Right here sister! I am next in line! Mine is 9 months out and I just got that crazy urge the other day! I can’t stop thinking I need to order and plan everything Today.

14.
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Miss Champagne says:

@Miss Pomegranate: maybe a support group is in order?


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Miss Sea Breeze Miss Sea Breeze, Vancouver/Dominican Republic Age and Occupation: 30, Communications Manager Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Experiential Marketing Director Engagement Date: October 6, 2007 Wedding Date: November, 2008 Blogging Since: July 17, 2008 Venue: Majestic Colonial Resort, Punta Cana About Me: Planning a destination wedding by the sea should be (oh no she di-in't…) a breeze (…*sigh* yep, she did) but when you've never been to the Caribbean, your powers of imagination are really put to the test. Luckily, I'm 90% resourceful, creative optimist (and kooky, neurotic practicalist-if-that's-a-word for the other ten). Other than planning our week-long celebration of family, friends, laughter and love, I adore books, shoes and… you guessed it… long walks on the beach.