Ridding the Lump

Ridding the Lump

September 6th, 2008 @ 2:44 pm by Mrs. Green Tea
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I don’t know if anyone else shares this sentiment, but one of the things I really looked forward to about being married was being able to pack that engagement ring away!

I have never been big on wearing jewelry, and had never dreamed about wedding rings of any kind. It was very weird to carry something so valuable on me all the time, and at the beginning it was honestly quite uncomfortable to have a thing sticking out at that odd (to me) spot on the finger! Mr. Green Tea offered that wearing it was not a requirement, but after leaving it at home for a couple weeks, I realized that it made him quite happy to see the ring worn. So I wore it most of the time, and got mostly used to it. 22 months later though, whenever the sticky-outty part hits or snags anything, it still freaks me out a little.

Upon our return from the honeymoon, several people already asked where my e-ring went. Some folks have a hard time understanding why I wouldn’t want to don it everywhere I go. While one of my bridesmaids is looking to get a second band to add to her current big rock e-ring plus blingy band combo, I’m totally digging the comfort of my simple little band. The e-ring is now safely tucked away at home, to be brought out only on special occasions. No more sticky-outty for me on da daily, whoopee! Ahh… the joys of marriage.

I’m glad Mr. Green Tea and I agree on that comfort comes first. Even though I would have been fine with not wearing anything at all, the symbol is important to him so this is how we compromised. But I do know many out there who would feel awkward not wearing their e-ring along with the wedding band.

What do you plan on doing? Did you and your spouse agree on the ring wearing arrangement? Am I the only one out there getting odd looks for rocking only the band?

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41 Responses to “Ridding the Lump”

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Member

lilythespitfire (message) 114 posts, Blushing bee

It unnerved me too to be wearing something so valuable on my hand every day. I was really worried about it and actually didn’t want to wear it to work because I work with kids. But then I got over it because it did make my fiance happy, plus the setting was super low, lightweight and a comfort fit. I don’t notice it anymore.

9/6/08 @ 2:53 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Gingerbread (message) 644 posts, Busy bee

This is one of the reasons we stuck with our engagement bands wedding rings. Too much bling made us uncomfortable too.

9/6/08 @ 2:58 pm (reply)

Guest

Vic004

I got used to my e-ring, but also having just a band instead of the bling ring was also an option when first thinking of ring selection. I do indulge in the thought and what if’s of the look of a simple band, which is against the norm these days when women usually daydream of a big rock. To each their own when it comes to these things. I understand!

9/6/08 @ 3:18 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Sweet Tea (message) 461 posts, Helper bee

I can’t wait to just wear a band too! I love my e-ring, but it’s definitely not an ‘everyday’ look for me, at least not forever. One year of bling is plenty, thanks!

9/6/08 @ 3:39 pm (reply)

Guest

nowMRS

I don’t wear my e-ring around either. i know my husband spent all his life saving on my e-ring, but it made me feel uncomfortable wearing it around, and my husband is completely fine with it. you’re not alone!!

9/6/08 @ 4:04 pm (reply)

Guest

PurpleLime

One of my closest friends didn’t even get an e-ring. Her hubby proposed to her with the intention of letting her pick whatever she wanted but jewelry and anything fancy is just totally not her style (it was really hard to help her find a wedding dress for the same reason!). She decided against the e-ring altogether. Now that they’re married she just wears a plain gold band.

Do what you want to do, it’s your ring and your finger!

9/6/08 @ 4:17 pm (reply)

Guest

kandaceandjason

I guess I’ll be the first to post for the opposition Hubs spent $2000 on my e-ring, you better believe I’m wearing it every day for the rest of my life! Too valuable (and pretty!) to sit hidden away in a drawer

9/6/08 @ 4:50 pm (reply)

Hostess

KateMW (message) 2,704 posts, Sugar bee

I love my engagement ring and I wear ONLY that. I don’t wear a band at all. I have one, but I don’t like how it looks with my ering, so I just wear the bling. I hate the word bling, btw. I have no idea why. Anyway, I think it’s OK to wear what you want. People ask me when the wedding is all the time.

9/6/08 @ 5:08 pm (reply)

Guest

katieo

What’s the point of even spending the money on that fancy ring if you’re not going to wear it? I’m not wearing mine but just cause I just had a baby and my fingers are still swollen. After that, it’s back on, baby! I totally agree with kanaceandjason…get your money’s worth!

9/6/08 @ 6:09 pm (reply)

10.

Member

December (message) 485 posts, Helper bee

I love my e-ring, but it simply cannot be worn with my wedding band (http://applesofgold.com/133-13.html) without coming way, way up my finger (almost to the middle knuckle). So I guess I will only be wearing the wedding ring on most daily occasions.

9/6/08 @ 6:16 pm (reply)

11.

Guest

Colleen

My fiance would be pretty heartbroken if I didn’t wear it. He saved like a fiend for it and I think it’s kind of selfish to not wear something that means that much. It’s an expensive thing and sure it might make you nervous, but what’s the point? It’s like buying nice dishes and never wanting to use them because one might break or never wearing your really expensive perfume because you don’t want to waste it– we only have one life to enjoy what we have, especially a pretty little ring that actually carries a lot significance with it. Nice things are meant to be used and worn.

9/6/08 @ 6:21 pm (reply)

12.

Guest

MRS. SKI

I too am gonna play devil’s advocate here…

I read this post to my man and he said this is the most insulting thing he had ever heard of. This is the ultimate slap in the face. Men (in general) put a lot of time, money and effort in finding the perfect engagement ring for their woman. It makes them very vulnerable. The least you can do is be gracious enough to wear it and not make him feel bad when you don’t. If you are soooo concerned about wearing something so valuable, you insure it. End of problem.

Personally, if you aren’t gonna wear it, sell it. Why is it sitting in a drawer somewhere?? You could put that money towards something useful. My fiancee just said, “No man will ever be happy with the idea of his wife not wearing the e-ring. He might be going along with it to make you “comfortable” but he is secretly pissed about it, guaranteed.” I totally agree with Colleen: Nice things are meant to be used and worn. Show off you bling bling and make your man proud! This isn’t so much about you and it about him.

9/6/08 @ 6:37 pm (reply)

13.

Guest

anne

i don’t wear it everyday either … only on special occasions… plus i ride subway so prefer to keep it at home…

9/6/08 @ 7:06 pm (reply)

14.

Guest

peihan

GT, I can see your reasoning, but I gotta agree with the idea that it was something that he spent a lot of money and thought on. Part of the justification for spending the money was that I’d wear it every day, and thus, the cost per day would be low =) I’d have felt it a waste to spend so much money and then not wear it (but that’s just for us). Like buying nice furniture and always keeping it under plastic wrap and not actually using it =) My ring also has a low and smooth profile for everyday wear.

December, my e-ring doesn’t ‘go’ with my band either- I just wear them on separate hands. That way both my hands get some happy!

I loved my e-ring so much, I also almost went the no wedding band route, but then I decided I wanted something to match with him, so two rings it was.

9/6/08 @ 7:30 pm (reply)

15.

Guest

dckatiebug

My e-ring was not expensive (the best part of getting engaged in college when we were broke), so it doesn’t hurt my husband’s feelings that I’ve stopped wearing it. I hardly ever wear jewelry, and two rings on one finger just felt bulky. But the reaction from other people has been pretty telling. People regularly assume that I’m not married because I’m not wearing a big ole rock. This doesn’t bother me; I see it as a teaching moment about the extent to which materialism has entered our most sacred relationships …

9/6/08 @ 8:09 pm (reply)

16.

Guest

katze

I knew he would want me to wear it all the time, so we looked for something I would be comfortable with. I sew and work with fabric a lot, so there is no way it could be something snaggy, and also for my general absentmindedness I didn’t want it to be super-expensive or irreplaceable. What I have is seven teeny diamonds set into the ring, so no snagging, and beautiful to me but not expensive. I wear it with my gold band and it is great! Not too much, but I get to wear it all the time. Makes us both happy.

9/6/08 @ 8:11 pm (reply)

17.

Guest

BunnyBlue

We had this talk well before becoming engaged . I love my ring , and wanted it not to sit too high because i WOULD smack it into things. But I too will be glad not to be questioned why i am not wearing my e-ring. I work with my hands and don’t wear it to work all the time because i don’t want to kill my ring. It’s a comfort thing but also a peace of mind thing , I would hate to have a stone pop out at work.

9/6/08 @ 9:20 pm (reply)

18.

Member

marianneinvan (message) 197 posts, Blushing bee

This is why I’m so glad I got to be a part of choosing my e-ring. The ring my honey had originally picked had a really high profile, and I knew I would snag it on things all the time. Instead, we chose a ring that matched the aesthetic of what he had chosen, but with a lower profile and less pointy setting. So far, it’s been great, so the plan is that I’ll wear it all the time.

My mum wears her e-ring all the time, because she always switches it te her right hand when she has something important to remember!

9/6/08 @ 9:24 pm (reply)

19.

Member

MsPopcorn (message) 217 posts, Helper bee

that’s why my engagement ring is a band ring. I still wear it on my right hand with the plain wedding band on the left, but I knew I didn’t want to wear something sticky out-ie on a daily basis.

9/6/08 @ 10:38 pm (reply)

20.

Guest

Rebecca

I picked out my own e-ring, and I love it. But I can’t wait to wear my wedding band, cause I love that even more. I plan on wearing my wedding band on my left hand and the e-ring on the right, since they are both pretty thick. And the e-ring doesn’t look like the typical e-ring.

9/7/08 @ 10:05 am (reply)

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