Wedding Blog
Mr. PN has been pretty involved in the wedding planning from the very start. He has played an active role in every major decision, and most of the minor ones. He helped pick the venue, the invitations, and the music. Some things he doesn’t care about much at all, like what color the OOT bags are, and some things he cares about a lot, like having a sweetheart table. I’m embarrassed to admit that on occasion he was more involved than I wanted him to be, such as when he vetoed my idea to exit the reception in a Toyota Prius. My selfish mind responded with, “Why can’t he be like other grooms and just show up?” But then I remembered how thankful I am that he cares about our wedding day and wants it to be reflection of both of us.
While Mr. PN has been involved in all the wedding decisions, I have taken the lead in signing contracts, updating vendors, and sending payments. As the wedding day approaches, my stress levels continue to climb. I fluctuate between being completely calm to freaking out—sometimes several times a day. To make things even more exciting, I also started a new job and I am about 1000% busier than I was before. I love my new job, and I love being busy, but this means that I don’t have time to squeeze any wedding planning into my work day—no research, no emails, no phone calls. During this time, Mr. PN has really stepped up to the plate. In the last few weeks he has happily become the point of contact for many of our vendors and is making phone calls and sending emails. Just yesterday, he called the hotel to straighten out a snafu with our room block, worked with the caterer to choose the wine list, and contacted the rehearsal dinner site to look into modifying our reservation. His help has brought me back to planet Earth, and I’m starting to breathe again!
How involved has your partner been in the planning process? Would you prefer that they were more or less involved?
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Share this post: Stepping Up to the Plate
I’m just starting the process, but my groom is interested in being a part of everything. I’ve done most of the legwork (like calling places, setting up appointments), but he chips in when he sees that I’m stressed. And he wants to be OVERLY involved in things like the flower selection, the color selection, favors, STDs and things that many grooms don’t think about. I’d prefer it this way than having a groom who isn’t at all interested, but it does get tough when he vetoes certain things! 
We’re at the start of our planning process but he is very interested so far. He has ideas for the reception and invitations, last night at dinner he told me what kind of photo he wanted on our STD. LOL.
Right now I have a lot of time to plan at my job, but I will be changing jobs when I move in with my FI, as he lives an hour away from me. Luckily he doesn’t have a job with 9-5 hours, so I know that he can help out with the planning when I need him to be, so I am thankful for his input-even when I don’t always agree with him. 
I have to send him outlook meeting requests with an agenda. He likes to have “quick and too the point” wedding planning meetings.
I like working this way sometimes, but when I’m really excited about a vendor I just spoke to at 3:00 p.m. on Tuesday, I can’t wait until our scheduled “wedding planning teleconference” over lunch on Friday!!!
I’ve taken to calling my sweet FI a “groomzilla”. I think that kinda speaks for itself. But I’ve embraced it. We are both contributing in our own ways - and the closer we get to the big day - the more I know I will appreciate his help!
My FI and I are only one month into the planning, but he has been helping with everything. I usually take the lead with researching and calling vendors, but he always makes it a point to be at every appointment, ask questions and discuss every aspect of the wedding. But like so many other Bees, it can be a pain in the butt when he doesn’t agree with me! LOL!
My FI is very uninterested. Of course he managed to make it to the caterer tastings And I’m sure he’ll manage to make it to the cake tastings. But he really couldn’t care less about all of the other details, which I’m completely fine with.
My husband contributed exactly as much as I needed him to. He was in charge of picking the menu and making honeymoon reservations, because those were the things he was most excited about, and after those were done, he’d just help with whatever task I asked him to do. I normally drive when we’re together, so he was the official cell phone jockey when we were trying to shoehorn vendor meetings into a weekend, he chose attendant attire (and later gifts), and he was in on the invitation assembly line.
But the biggest contribution he had toward planning was to take over the cooking of dinner on weeknights. That cleared a ridiculous amount of time for me to work on the time-suck DIY projects I wanted to do. He may regret doing that, though, since we’ve been married more than a year and he’s still doing the cooking.
that’s right girl, put him to work! lol, jk. da hubs was great about helping with exactly what i needed him to so i am quite lucky.
Oh please more! I have an absentee groom 
But the long distance is partly to blame. And I shouldn’t say he doesn’t do ANYTHING, because when I really need him, he is right there. What a lifesaver Mr. PN is!
My now-husband was uber involved in our wedding planning process, including the selection of the bridesmaid dresses! We actually made a special trip to the store with one of my BM’s so that she could model the two dresses on that we were trying to decide between for him. It was hilarious if you ask me, although at the time I was moderately mortified!
My FI calls himself a groomzilla. LOL But I like that he cares about what “our day” will be like. Sometimes I wish he didn’t care so I could just make some unilateral decisions, but if I had to choose, I’d rather have him care than not care.
we’ve made all major decisions together and i love that– it really feels like a celebration of two people when both have a stake in the planning. that being said, i swear he has very few ‘duties’ that he’s in charge of, and i have to burn a fire under his ass before he does them. that is truly annoying!
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Mrs. Pinot Noir, New York/Napa Valley
Age and Occupation: 24, Health Educator
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 31, Market Researcher
Engagement Date: November 10, 2007
Wedding Date: October, 2008
Blogging Since: June 25, 2008
Venue: Auberge du Soleil
About Me: I am a Minnesota raised, NYC transplant planning a destination wedding in Napa. I'm balancing my love for the environment and my hubby-to-be's love for tradition to create our "green wedding in disguise." Our wedding will include local food and wine, antique touches and lots of love and laughter. When wedding planning isn't taking up my free time (and money) I love to read, cook, workout, watch baseball and travel! Follow along in my adventure as I attempt to plan an eco-friendly and socially responsible wedding (with eco-oblivious Mr. Pinot Noir).
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