When Bad Things Happen
September 19th, 2008 @ 11:01 am by Mrs. Cream Puff
It would be foolish to expect your wedding to be 100% perfect, and I’m no fool. I expected that a few things would go wrong. Little things. You know, the groomsmen are a little bit late, the frosting on the cake is off-white instead of white, things like that. I truly didn’t think anything big would go wrong. In a way, I think we expected that things would go a lot more smoothly, just because I was so organized. In some ways, that was totally true. But in other ways… well, not so much.
Although I would love to tell you that everything about our day was all sparkles and rainbows, I can’t. And you know what? I don’t want to. When I started blogging on Weddingbee, I didn’t want to pretend like wedding planning was 100% fun, 100% of the time. It can be stressful! I had weird dreams. I made a mistake booking a vendor. I had a meltdown in a shoe shop (ha ha). They’re all memories, and they’re actually pretty funny now. But to me, blogging about these issues is what makes it real. It’s what makes blogging worthwhile. And you know what? Our wedding wasn’t 100% perfect, either, so I’m not going to pretend like it was. I’m going to share the nitty-gritty, in addition to the wonderful, sparkly, rainbow-y stuff. I’ll share with you the good things, and the bad things. Because that’s life, and your wedding may be no different.
So as I was saying, we expected little things to go wrong, and had already decided not to pay any attention to the things that no one else would notice. Unfortunately for us, we had some really big things go wrong:
One of our vendors—our “day of” coordinators—seriously screwed up. Like, really bad. We’re not talking OMG-the-cake-didn’t-show-up-on-time stuff. We’re talking OMG-they-didn’t-set-up-the-ceremony- righ
After (and during) the wedding, I really didn’t want to think about the things that went wrong. I guess I had high expectations of the wedding, and I wanted nothing but positive thoughts and memories to look back on. Maybe thinking of it that way was a little naive, I don’t know. A few days after the wedding, I sat down with my parents and talked about how the day went, and I was finally totally honest with how I felt about some of the mishaps. There were tears, but it felt so good to finally be honest with myself and be real about my feelings. Life ain’t perfect, and the wedding wasn’t perfect, either. I was really angry at first, but now I’m in a place where I can truly offer some sound advice to you guys, rather than rant and rave about how upset I am (was).
My number one piece of advice is this: no matter how organized you are, or how many details you thought of, it means nothing if your details aren’t properly executed. Also, go with your gut. I had such a good feeling about our caterer. Leading up to our wedding, I was totally confident that they would execute our reception perfectly. In the end, they completely exceeded my expectations. Our reception was immaculate. The ceremony, however? Not so much. The trolley rides were really bad. When it comes to hiring professionals for your wedding, you can skimp on the little things—go with the cheaper lighting or the less expensive limo company. At the end of the day, if you’re missing the spotlight on your cake, nobody’s gonna notice. But as for the people who are responsible for actually setting up your day, be sure you hire someone you trust.
What went wrong, you’re probably asking? Well, it’s a long story that would probably take three posts to cover, and I’m not sure that we really need to get into exact details about what went wrong. In general, I think most of the problems stemmed from the fact that I handed our DOCs our plans a few weeks before the wedding, and I’m not entirely confident that they read through it all. They said to me at one point during the planning process that they didn’t think I needed any help because I was so organized. I can’t help but think that they put their energy into other clients or personal matters, rather than preparing for our wedding. They may have thought that they could fall back on my completely organized plans. Part of it was my fault, too. I wasn’t 100% confident in the DOCs we hired, but the price was right. I set out to make things as organized as possible and give them as many detailed instructions as possible—no matter how inexperienced they were, if they followed my directions and used their common sense, we figured we would have very few problems.
Unfortunately, they didn’t follow my directions or seem to use their common sense. Our ceremony setup was kind of a disaster. Signs I’d spent hours slaving over were in the wrong places—guests never even saw them. The aisle was set up really badly—it curved in strange places and didn’t follow the measurements I’d given as guidelines, even remotely. Strangers were talking during the ceremony and the DOCs did nothing to quiet them. They told me about every little problem, which stressed me out and made me feel like I needed to do something to solve them. But I’d made a commitment to myself: do not let the little things bother you. So I plastered a smile on my face and tried to forget that my ugly aisle probably wouldn’t be gracing the pages of Martha Stewart Weddings (ha ha).
The ceremony itself went perfectly. I was totally thrilled with the ceremony we’d written, with our reading, and with my Uncle Bob’s reading in Hebrew. The weather was perfect, and the chuppah was also perfect. At one point, my dad stepped on my veil, which was hilarious. It was all quite wonderful. I was very happy.
After the ceremony, our trolley ride was to begin. So many things went wrong. Basically, a lot of the guests didn’t end up with tours and most of them arrived to the reception a half an hour late. Some guests were waiting around at the ceremony location for a long time, waiting for their trolley. Prior to the wedding, Mr. Cream Puff and I were very, very excited about our trolley tour. Mr. Cream Puff told me later that he had visions of hanging off the side of the trolley, waving to onlookers. Sadly, this is not what happened, though I must admit: this probably wouldn’t have happened anyway (you know, because of the risk of bodily harm and all). We drove straight to our reception and still missed the entire cocktail hour.
I was very, very frustrated with the DOCs at that point, but I was really trying not to let it affect me. In retrospect, I should have sent them home right then. The caterer handled the reception, and the only job the DOC had at the reception was to take care of my family (i.e. handle any drama, to have made sure Mr. Cream Puff and I had water), and I figured that they couldn’t screw that up. My third piece of advice is: don’t think to yourself, “well, they can’t screw it up that bad” and also, know when to cut your losses. Think twice—you only get to do this day once.
At the reception (which, as I said earlier, was immaculate), our DOCs were nowhere to be found for most of the night. There were a lot of issues that could have been handled by them, and I have no idea where they were (well, that’s actually a half-truth: at one point I went on the back patio and found them drinking alcohol and socializing with the guests). These aren’t the reasons why I say that I should have asked them to go home after the trolley mess, though. Every half hour or so, one of the DOCs would find me and tell me how much time was left in the reception, and would periodically tell me about every mini-crisis as if I needed to help solve the problem. That really put a damper on my enjoyment of the evening, which sucked. I doubt that the DOC knew she was doing this at the time, but it just goes to show: there are unexpected ways to screw things up. You can’t think of everything.
I can honestly say that our wedding would probably have been ruined if I had trusted our DOCs to set the whole thing up. Thank goodness for our caterer, who set the reception up perfectly and was responsible for executing most of the details I’d slaved over. And thankfully, pretty much everything else went smoothly. We were missing one of our ceremony musicians (string duo, anyone?) and we didn’t end up with the cake spot we’d ordered, but neither of those things was important and none of the guests noticed. I simply called, got my money back, and forgot about it.
So, my friends, to recap: Do not skimp on a DOC. If you need one, pay the price for a good, experienced one. This is the execution of your day we’re talking about: it deserves a bigger slice of your wedding budget than some of your other details. Secondly, listen to your gut: if you’re feeling a little iffy about something that really, truly matters to you, deal with it before the wedding. Sometimes, it’s worth losing your deposit. Third: don’t make excuses or say, “they couldn’t screw it up that bad.” If you think they could screw it up at all, get rid of them; it’s not worth taking the chance.
Hopefully our experience will help some of you!
P.S.—Thank you so much for all of your support for my E.Coli, guys! I’m feeling a lot better—almost recovered, in fact!
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64 Responses to “When Bad Things Happen”
My mother’s father stepped on her veil too! She has a tear at the bottom of her veil. I will be wearing her veil on my wedding day and we are leaving it as is, hole and all!
To this day one of her wedding memories is him stepping on her veil just as they started walking down the aisle.
I’m so sorry! Everyone dreams of a perfect day and that’s not always (or ever!) how it turns out … but in the end, your friends and family were there to witness a beautiful ceremony joining the two of you together. Congratulations!
My wedding was the same day as yours, Ms. CP, and we had trouble with our DOC too. I didn’t need her to do much, so I also went with the best price, thinking the tasks were easy enough that I could trust pretty much anyone. But…no. She just seemed to be along for the ride, and grudgingly at that. She seemed reluctant to help in any way. She sat in the bar area all night while my MOH tended to our needs. Nothing catastrophic happened as a result, but I’m not sure I got anything for my $800.
I just want to cry after reading this (i’ve been trying so hard not to the last few days). I’m getting married in 10 months and things are not going according to plan. My venue keeps disappointing me. They put me in the wrong room and now they can’t provide me the ceremony i wanted. We hired a rental company to provide our linens and backdrop and they are as incompetent as they can be; i knew i shouldn’t have booked them. I have to keep going over my budget coz of these mistakes and by associating myself with unprofessional people. I want to hire a DOC but at this point, i don’t think it’s something i can afford and they may not be that good based on ur experience. I’m not the type of person who handles disappointment that well. But I am very proud of u for keeping ur cool that day, coz if it was me, i think i would have lost it.
Cream Puff, Thank thank thank you for sharing your not-so-perfect moments with us. Since our wedding, I’ve had a lot of mixed feelings about the execution of different plans, the hiring of certain vendors, etc. etc., and it can be really hard to deal with emotionally because no one wants to hear that your day wasn’t perfect. Thank you for expressing a lot of what I was having trouble saying. Also, ironically one of my big statements post-wedding has been– if i had it to do over again, I’d have hired a DOC. Thank you for letting me know that could also have been a mistake…and that at a certain point, you have to let it go– look at the photos and enjoy the best times of the day.
Thanks for posting about your experience! I feel so awful for you! I’ve never heard of such a bad experience with a DOC. It will definitely make me think twice about what I decide to do for our wedding day!
Oh you poor thing. That would be devastating to any bride. Thank you for posting about your experience and giving advice, and hopefully this doesn’t happen to anyone else!
First off SO HAPPY you are feeling better - health wise and about the things that went wrong at your wedding. Thank you for sharing this w/ us and not just the rainbows and sparkles - I hope this one of those things where ppl can learn from other ppls experiences, I for one will definitely not skimp on my DOC now 
Mrs. Cream Puff, I so admire the way you’ve honestly shared the highs and lows of your wedding planning process. I feel like this post should be titled, “When Bad Things Happen to Good People,” because it just doesn’t seem fair that your vision wasn’t executed when you were so organized and prepared!
Just writing to say that you have been one of my favorite bees…and this is exactly why. You handled this with grace and dignity. I’m sure your memories will be filled with all the good moments. And finally…where are your pro pics!!
Mrs. CP, I’m sorry that your DOC was so horrible and keeping your cool about it on your big day. I am in the process of hiring one now and your advice really helps. I’m glad your almost recovered too!! Thanks Mrs. CP!
CP, Thank you so much for this post. My wedding planner sucked so bad and was so unorganized I had to send her directly to the reception site so I had no one at the ceremony. When we walked out of the ceremony , everyone was gone, no one waited for us. By the time I got to the reception, nothing was done right. And hundreds of dollars went to waste because she forgot my photos for the table, and my table cards. My MOH’s FORGOT MY VEIL and my GLOVES at the hotel. My bridal party were not on time and I had to chaffeur them to get their hair and make up done because they wouldn’t go out in the rain. I was so stressed I literally ran away for an hour so I wouldn’t cry, you would never know in the photos we took but I am so happy someone wrote about how things do fall apart but still you can have a wonderful day. Put everything in writing, I mean everything you want to happen and what you it to look like, Take photos of your ideas….give it to the FMIL and your mom. Let them oversee it. No mom is going to let anyone walk over their kids on their wedding day. That is one thing I wished I did, my mom was driving me crazy trying to help me the day of but I didnt want to stress her so I didnt ask. I wish I did.
Even a few months prior to my wedding, I’m definitely finding that you get what you pay for…. so I’m glad I hired an incredibly expensive month-of planner :).
It sounds to me like more good things happened then bad. Keep your chin up!
thank you for sharing this great piece of advice with us! i always look forward to reading your posts. Can’t wait to see your pro pics too!
i’m so sorry to hear about such a horrible and unprofessional DOC. i went to a wedding last weekend where the coordinator/doc was awful too. she kept going to the couple’s head table during the reception to ask them questions! i sat at a table that was directly facing the head table and i always saw her up there. the couple couldn’t even enjoy themselves for 2 seconds! i would hate to have a vendor who constantly asks what i want to do next.
also, when the couple was doing the table rounds, the doc came up to each table first and told us to make it quick because the couple needs to get to all of the tables. it just gave off the wrong vibe, like it’s such an obligation for the couple to come see us at our table. if time is short, the doc should have asked the couple to not linger at any table for an extended period of time! at least that’s better than telling the guests to “make it fast.”
Thanks for sharing the painful truth *HUGS*
FI has said to our coordinator more than once that under no circumstances is anything to be brought to our attention the day of.
We’re having a friend who works as an event coordinator elsewhere bare that brunt for us.
Thank you so much for posting this. I am getting married in a few weeks and have been having huge misgivings about my hairstylist. Another hairstylist who has lots of recommendations recently became available because a bride cancelled, and my gut says I should go with her, but I was feeling bad about cancelling on the first stylist. Your post made me realize that we have a gut instinct for a reason and that I will feel worse if I stick with this hairstylist out of fear of confrontation/making her feel bad and have a bad experience than if I suck it up and cancel. Thanks for the nudge I needed.
I am SO sorry you had such a disappointing experience with your DOC’s! I have been involved in weddings for several years… both complete planning and day of… and it always saddens me to hear that a Coordinator, who is supposed to make things LESS stressful for you, didn’t live up to her promised service.
One of my most important rules has always been to handle any issues behind the scenes! The bride needs to relax and enjoy her day!
It’s great that you took the time to talk things out with your parents. I would also suggest that if you weren’t 100% satisfied with the job by ANY vendor, write a letter and let them know! Or even contact the Better Business Bureau. Brides who come after you will be grateful!
I am glad you do have some great memories.
Miss CP, I can only imagine how frustrating it was to go through this. I’ve always indentified with your posts because I think we have similar planning styles, so I know I would have been just as upset as you on the day.
I know for obvious reasons you can’t give their names here, but it might be helpful to see if they were listed on vendor review sites like weddingwire.com and review them there to keep other brides from going through what you did.
You definitely handled everything with dignity and grace! VERY admirable. I’ve been wavering with my decision as to whether I will be hiring a wedding coordinator for our wedding AND whether or not I should go the “budget friendly” route but after reading this - I’m definitely saving $$ for a good wedding coordinator.
One day you’ll look back on all of this and smile, though. I promise! =) BUT let’s focus on what matters the most: you’re now MRS. Cream Puff! =) Congrats!
Mrs. Creampuff, I know exactly what you mean about not wanting to think about the bad stuff right after the wedding. You just want to bask in the glow of being married, right?
Fortunately my DOC was fantastic (she’s my brother’s girlfriend, so I knew and trusted her 100%), but my DJ didn’t execute on my well-laid plans the way I wanted him to. I had a LOT of regret about this, to the point that it still made me cry a month after the wedding.
I’m over it now, but it sucks to have something go wrong when you spend *so* much time planning. I feel bad about caring so much, but as brides we get very invested in our plans, and just want the day to look like what we’ve imagined and planned for. Thanks for sharing your experience!
Thank you for sharing your experience and turning it into advice for the Weddingbee readers.
I like when people keep it real about their weddings, their relationships, and their kids. Not everything in life is perfect - often far from it - and people usually only share the good stuff. It keeps the rest of us not feeling like something’s wrong with us when things aren’t perfect.
I didn’t know that about your string duo. Our musicians actually were a string duo (violin and cello) as planned and I thought they were fine. Really as long as there was a single violinist for us it would have worked. (No so sure about a single cellist though.)
For someone who had made a commitment to herself to not let little things bother you, you sure didn’t quite live by your words, did you? You got married in a crowded public park on a gorgeous day and you’re upset at your DOCs because people were making noise? I’m pretty sure people enjoying a public park have the right to make noise. In fact, I’m fairly confident if your DOCs tried to intervene to stop people from making noise, they would be violating the law. Sounds more like you’re trying to place the blame on someone else instead of blaming yourself for having a ceremony in an unideal location. Next time, perhaps try a library.
Thanks everyone, for the support! I am glad that my post has helped some of you.
@ Kelly: clearly there were problems other than people talking during the ceremony, right? I find it interesting that that’s the only thing you focused on–I could certainly care less if people were talking!
Mrs. CP — I am so sorry that your DOC’s didn’t do the job you hired them to do. There is no excuse for that kind of behavior and it upsets me that someone in this business would act so unprofessional. I hope your post will serve as a reminder to other brides how important it is to trust your gut feelings.
And it isn’t unusual for your coordinator to kindly ask onlookers to be respectful of the ceremony taking place by being quiet. As a matter of fact, I’ve done it plenty of times if necessary. Most people don’t realize they are making a ruckus and kindly oblige. Last time I checked, it wasn’t against the law to ask someone for a little respect!
I kind of agree with Kelly. You cared enough to make a point of it in your review.
I’ll admit I had to read your rant three times to really get a good picture of what went on. And I’m still really lost, except that you pretty much hate them and think they’re horrible people and they ruined your wedding.
So can you clarify these two statements for me: “At the reception (which, as I said earlier, was immaculate), our DOCs were nowhere to be found for most of the night” and “Every half hour or so, one of the DOCs would find me and tell me how much time was left in the reception.” ??? Were they no where to be found or bugging you so much they were annoying?
I don’t know. I’ve tried my best to enjoy your posts, but you always just out complaining about something or everything. I’m kind of glad your planning is over.
Wow, so many supportive, realistic responses and then… number 26. Urgh.
Thanks for sharing your experiences, good and bad. I’m glad that you had many great aspects to tell us about, even if not everything was perfect. It’s all a lesson learned, right? And you’re sharing that with others, which is so helpful.
In my case, my DOC was one of my best friends, and I know there are reasons for and against having a close friend do it, but it worked out so well. (She had offered to do it in place of being a bridesmaid.) I think it was a combination of us being, like you, super-organized and full of vision, and her, unlike your DOCs, being truly invested in us and our wedding. She cared about us and what we wanted on that day, and put her heart and soul into getting it done. I’m sorry that wasn’t your experience.
Welcome back, Mrs. CP! Been wondering how you were doing–so glad you are better (both physically and emotionally about the wedding)!
I agree with others that you are a great bee; I love to read your posts because they are honest and interesting. You seem very mature about it all. Not everything went right with my wedding, either, and we still were thrilled, but afterward I have had the ‘what ifs’ and questioning some things (and ours were minor–some rain and a few small items not exactly as I wanted them). So I appreciate your great attitude and explanations. I hope you can look back and feel great about all that went right–I KNOW you will!
And can’t wait to hear and see more about the good stuff of the day! 
Thanks, you guys!! I love you.
I’m so sorry I forgot to mention: the pro pix are ON THE WAY! I can’t wait. Our photographer accidentally sent them to the wrong address, but I should have them next week! They are GREAT, I can’t wait to share them!
WOW! my best advice to any bride is not to be so anal. Have no expectations and thinks will work out.
Go with your gut is also good.
I’m so sorry this all happened Mrs. CP! I think you handled it as gracefully as you could. I would have totally been stern with the DOCs not because my wedding isn’t picture perfect but because I’d feel like I’m getting ripped off!
That’s awful to hear. When you hire someone, you expect them to actually do their job. They absoultely should have asked onlookers to be respectful and there’s no excuse for their behavoir at your reception- drinking on the job and notifying you of all of the problems.So happy to hear your caterer came through at least!
Can’t wait to see your pictures. You put so much detail into your wedding, that even though your DOCs were a disaster, I’m sure your wedding was absolutely beautiful!
I can totally sympathize with you. I made the same mistake. I skimped on my DOC and she was also a disaster. I also thought “how bad can she screw it up?”. The answer for us was VERY BAD. Mine made almost the same mistakes as yours except the drinking part. I wonder if they all went to the same school?
I’ve been married a year now and I can honestly say you will look back at it and laugh. The positive points and beautiful moments will stand out more.
Thank you for sharing this. I’m interviewing a coordinator next week and this is helpful to know because initially I thought it really didn’t matter if they were somewhat competent. Clearly it does though!
wow so much feedback. i feel ur pain Mrs. CreamPuff, my hubby keeps telling me that the day is over but I wish I hadn’t had trusted ppl’s common sense so much bc my common sense is not everyone elses’. oh well. it is over. hope ur married life adjustment is going well!
Mrs. CP another reason ( of many!) why I love your posts! You are always honest, and that is something to be admired!
I always appreciate honesty, and I’m terribly sorry your day was less not than perfect, but less than what you’d hoped for/expected. I am a little bit bothered that some people may read your post and end up being more worried/scared/paranoid/anxious than they really need to be about their own wedding….for one, there is a point of no return for some - a point where if your wedding is a week away, you probably can’t hire a DOC (or fire your current one). I guess I would have appreciated your post a little more if you had summarized not with sort of “what to do if you’re unsure of a vendor” but rather something along the lines of - the most important things are the things that leave you legally, happily wed to the person of your dreams…because I *think* that’s how you feel, right?
…my mil wore white, my centerpieces were not how i’d imagined (or hoped), my BM’s didn’t get alterations and one of them looked absolutely ridiculous swimming in her dress, we had a few no shows, and a couple uninvited, unexpected tagalong guests, one of our toasts was paaaaaaainful, I put my own hair up for my reception…without a mirror, I lost a wedding dress button, our DJ’s computer crashed and it lead to a crazy shutdown/restart thing in the middle of our reception (which, I actually didn’t know about until the next day…i just thought he had the song skipping on purpose), my fil’s didn’t stick around for pictures after the ceremony so we have zero pictures of us with my dh’s family…yet you’d have a hard time getting me to describe my wedding day as anything other than perfect, honestly.
[...] my last post, a reader named Kelly made a comment that got me thinking: she said we’d chosen a less-than-ideal [...]
Thanks for sharing this story with us, CP! I’m sorry that your wedding day wasn’t the “perfect” day that you sought, but at the end of the night, at least you were able to walk away with more good memories than bad…
And I applaud your honesty and openess about everything that you’ve gone thru with the wedding process (and the aftermath). A blog is supposed to be your thoughts and ideas, and I think it’s so rude that people are actually calling you out on just writing about how you felt with what happened.
I love that you are so honest. Not many can or will be. It takes major guts to be honest…Thank you.
Thank you so much for your honesty. I have always enjoyed your posts and am happy to hear you are feeling better about everything.
I had a similar problem with our DOC and was beating myself over it after the wedding. I wasn’t 100% confident with our decision when we chose them and I normally go with my gut. The few stressful parts of our day occurred when the DOC team dropped the ball. We hired them to help the day go smoothly and we ended up stressed. I would have gladly paid double for someone more competent - we paid $400 and got what we paid for. I think the DOCs knew that they had not lived up to their duties even before our wedding day b/c they took $50 off of our remaining balance. It took me awhile to laugh about it. Now I can’t help but laugh when someone brings up “Pancake Boobs” (the nickname my family kindly gave the DOC). She wore a wrap dress and looked like she wasn’t wearing a bra, hence the name. Believe me, it wasn’t pretty. I couldn’t ramble on but it isn’t healthy
Looking forward to seeing your pro pics!
man. I’m just wondering, have you had a conversation with the DOC about their poor performance?
Thank you so much for your support, you guys. Sometimes it sucks to get negative comments, but I would personally want to read honest experiences, so that’s what I write! I am glad to know that most of you appreciate it.
@Anne K.: I am so sorry that you had a similar experience! I can honestly say that it’s only been a month and a half and I already feel so much better about it!
@heavnzbrat: I’m so sorry!! Sometimes it’s hard to let go of these things. 
@megs: pancake boobs sounds like she did a terrible job, too!!
@Ms. Popcorn: I sent them a long email, and told them how much everything upset me. They really only addressed a couple of the problems and didn’t take much responsibility (for example, they sort of apologized for the ceremony looking really bad, but they didn’t acknowledge the drinking). I told them that I wanted to give them a heads up before I told other brides what happened to me, just to give them a chance to respond. They just kind of seemed to accept that they were going to get a negative review, and that was that. If I had been in their position, I’m not really sure how I would have handled it, either. There was no way to go back and do things differently, so I guess there wasn’t much they felt they could say…?
Thanks for sharing! I’m trying to prep myself that things will indeed go wrong, but they will make our day that more special and memorable! I let you know in 7 months if that mindset works out or not!
Glad your day was good, overall! My parents were in the bay area visiting the weekend you got married, so I do know that you had a BEAUTIFUL weather day!
awww cp! sorry it didn’t go well. i agree pay the correct money. i’ve done some coordinating for family and friends.. and it’s a lot of work. i couldn’t imagine what kind of people think its ok to just sit around and things like that go by. if you think about it… most places you get married out although maybe not out in the open are public areas. like if you happen to bein town and drop by this church and walk in. you aren’t completely refrained from it… if they were talking i would expect my doc to try to tell them it would be nice if they can keep it down.
they sound so unprofessional. drinking alone is not professional. don’t worry.. you are within your rights to be upset
thanks for being honest. and glad things worked out.
Wow I can’t believe some people are being so rude in response to your post. I’ve always loved reading your posts along with almost everyone else here. ridiculous.
holy crap woman, talk about things in common! we really need to get together and get our yap on (and that get together may have to be a freaking sleepover with the time it’d take for us to get it all out)!!
Hey Puff,
I know how you feel, although my wedding was wonderful I also had some low spots that I felt like could have gone better (i.e. guests using decor as ashtrays - I knew I should have made those No Smoking signs!) The farther away I get from the actual day the less I fixate on that and the more I remember the look in my grooms eyes when he said his vows, the dance with my Dad, hugging my mom.
Funny thing though - my Dad stepped on my veil during the ceremony too!!!
Oh my gosh, that’s awful. But you know what really shocks me - that they didn’t care! I think the drinking is the height of poor professionalism! You may wish to be vocal in negative reviews and even complain to the better business bureau (alcohol consumption!) or local business groups.
And, spread the word about the amazing service you received from your caterer. Spread the word as much as your negative word for the DOC!
Mrs. CP, I want to add my voice to the choir of those who have thoroughly enjoyed following your planning journey. Your honesty is refreshing and welcome!! I was just telling a friend today that I’m sorry your tenure on WB is winding down. Keep up the wonderful work!
Wow, drinking on the job is SO unprofessional. That in and of itself would have been enough to make me really angry.
Yeesh — these DOCs sound AWFUL. Did you get them to refund some of your $? And are you going to identify them so that other brides get the benefit of knowing who to avoid? Despite the snafus, though, I’m sure the wedding was so lovely; how could it not be, given all the wonderful details (your STDs, table numbers . . . swoon). Hugs to you (and boo to the judgy miss judgingtons).
You know … it really annoys me when people bust out words like “anal” or “picky” or say “chill out” to someone (almost always a woman) who says that she was disappointed in something. Mrs. CP paid her DOCs to set up the ceremony the way she’d planned it, to organize the trolley rides, and to manage problems at the reception so she wouldn’t have to stress about them. They either did those things poorly or didn’t do them at all. That sounds like a legit complaint to me. And that doesn’t even include the drinking on the job!
Mrs. CP, I can’t wait to hear about the good parts of your wedding — I bet the pics are gorgeous! And I’m sure that one day, like megs, the DOCs will become a humorous part of the story of your day
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You’re not anal or picky for having certain expectations/hopes/visions for your wedding day. The DOCs screwed up. No two ways about it. What are you supposed to do? Lie and say it was fine?
And just because people have a legal right to be somewhere and talk loudly, doesn’t mean they should. Most people would have the decency to quiet themselves if they saw a wedding going on. Your DOC should’ve asked any oblivious bystanders within the vicinity to please quiet their voices. What’s so hard about that? It’s not brain surgery.
Definitely feel your pain but hope you managed to enjoy your day regardless. Unlike most guests, I noticed everything. I had my MIL walk down the aisle AFTER me because my DOC didn’t bother meeting her (she couldn’t make it to the rehearsal) and instructing her what to do and my DOC forgot to get the marriage license from me so we did not have it signed til after the honeymoon (legality issues now).
And it’s not about being picky but about KNOWING what you want. I’m sure after you see pictures you’ll feel better that regardless of the mishaps it was still a perfect day.
Thank you so much for keeping it real. It is often just rainbows and sunshine on wedding bee but not everyone has a “perfect” day!
It doesn’t make it any less special now.
Completely agree with the whole idea that it is best to go with your gut instinct.
The best advice is probably to make sure you just ENJOY THE DAY!
Mrs. Cream Puff, San Francisco Bay Area
Age and Occupation: 25, Illustrator
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 31, Merchandise Planner
Engagement Date: May 27, 2007
Wedding Date: August, 2008
Blogging Since: February 7, 2008
Venue: Ceremony at Crissy Field and Reception at the Green Room
About Me: I never dreamed about my wedding as a little girl because I was too busy playing in the mud or pretending to be Martha Stewart–but now that it's here, I'm having a fabulous time DIYing everything in sight! We’re planning a very fun multicultural wedding (I'm Jewish and Mr. Cream Puff is Chinese), filled with as many personal details as I can muster.
My day wasn’t perfect either but in all of the pictures my groom and I are glowing and not glowering. (The photog did not catch me in the waiting area before the ceremony mumbling to myself and looking sad…)
Here is what went wrong… outdoor ceremony, HUGE STORM and it was so windy in the alternative space that at the last minute we had to rent ugly, ugly, plastic walls to keep the rain from blowing in. So in all my pictures, we have ugly, white tarps in the background. If it had just rained, all would have been fine, but it STORMED and our “rain plan” didn’t account for gale force wind. Plus, our white reception chairs were delivered to the ceremony site and they got soaked and our ceremony chairs (ugly, metal folding chairs that came with the venue) were delivered and set up to the reception site and by the time anybody noticed, the rain had already soaked the pretty chairs. In all of my reception pictures we have ugly, poopy-brown metal folding chairs. OY!
But sitting in those chairs were people who had smiles on their faces despite the thunderstorm and did not seem to mind the chairs. I think the only people who noticed were me and my MIL.
All in all it was a wonderful day and people said the storm made it that more memorable!