Wedding Blog
Every morning I wake up almost overwhelmed with the amount of work that goes into planning a wedding weekend and hometown reception. I get as much done as I can, and then attempt to shut my mind off at night so I can fall asleep. So many other things keep getting pushed off to the side, and I end up making a lot of excuses for the non-wedding areas I keep falling short in. I don’t wash my face before I go to bed, my room is a mess of wedding supplies and packages, I haven’t started packing for the cross-country move I am making in three weeks (I don’t have that much to take, but still), and somehow I still haven’t applied for that perfect job opportunity that a friend emailed me about a few weeks ago. Sometimes Mr. Avocado and I only end up speaking for 10 to 15 minutes a day because I can’t think of anything to talk about other than wedding stuff, and we just get stressed out.
All of this craziness has led me to develop a mantra that I try to repeat multiple times a day:
Don’t focus so much on the wedding that you forget about the marriage.
For me, the marriage stands for everything that will happen after the ceremony, the Hotel 1000 festivities, the honeymoon, and our hometown reception. It’s back to life, back to reality, back to the good stuff.
However, that doesn’t mean that I can put all of the other stuff on hold until that time comes. I need to focus on my health, my spirituality, and my relationships right now, because those things are so much more important to me than a pretty cake or a violinist at the ring ceremony will ever be. I want the wedding to be an event that takes place in the life I am already living to the fullest, not the culmination of what I once was, or the brink of what I am about to become. Sometimes, I need to remember to just breathe.
Drew Barrymore taught me to “just breathe” in one of my favorite movie scenes of all time.
What do you try to remind yourself of every day?
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Share this post: Focus on the Marriage
I used to watch Ever After over and over again. I totally agree that it’s important to focus on the marriage and not just the one day.
I’m a huge worry wart! I easily get wrapped up in things I need to do 6 months from now. I’m trying very very hard not to “worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
I’ve been married for a year so wedding planning stress isn’t the issue for me. But I’m dealing with a lot of stress from work. In either case, pre or post wedding, it’s so very important to not let these little things get in the way of the marriage!
I commend you Miss A. for seeing the big picture! Hang in there. My husband and I planned our wedding long distance as well so I understand the frustration that brings. You’ll get through this!! 
Amen sister - its easy to lose sight of the important part of the day, drowning in details. But mawwaige is what bwings us togever today.
Hang in there Ms. Avocado! The best wedding I ever went to was short on details and long on love. I don’t remember anything about centerpieces or music or blah blah blah, and the overall decor was simple and chic, but I will never forget how happy they were to be getting married and how relaxed and included all of the guests felt because that was the vibe they put out. The details really don’t matter.
It’s all about the big picture, and the fact is that our wedding days will only be 24 short hours of that picture. It’s important, certainly, but what’s more important is taking are of yourself and enjoying the ride.
So true!! I keep telling myself if we don’t have 3 bands or the most unique and personalized ceremony EVER it’s oky — at the end of the day we will be MARRIED and that’s what it’s all about, no? xoxo
When I’m stressing over wedding stuff, I try to ask myself, “what will you remember in 20 years?” I’ll remember how my fiance looked as I was walking down the aisle. I’ll remember getting ready with my bridesmaids. I’ll remember who was there with us. Will I remember whether we served 3 or 4 hors d’ouevres, or what kind of chairs we picked? Probably not.
Haha..i watched that movie “Ever After” yesterday…..its one of my all-time favorites!
Love this - it is good for people to remember this! I think I read somewhere (Modern Bride, maybe?) that some people experience “Event Crash” during or after planning… meaning the bride was just so into the planning and didn’t realize she wasn’t spending time with the FI. Then the FI wants out.
oh and you’re so cute for putting up an Ever After reference! love that movie!
@Miss Meatball: Another favorite favorite movie. I can quote almost the entire thing.
@Delia Adriana: If “event crash” means being sick of what you are devoting so much time towards, then I am guilty. Just get this thing OVER WITH!
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Mrs. Avocado, Seattle
Age and Occupation: 23, Student
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Consultant
Engagement Date: July 27, 2008
Wedding Date: October, 2008
Blogging Since: June 30, 2008
Venue: LDS Seattle Temple & Hotel 1000
About Me: Somehow this little farm girl found herself a genuine Pole to fall in love and eventually move away to Poland with. I am an LDS bride attempting to plan a private religious ceremony, ring ceremony, seated reception for 100, and an open house while coordinating for guests flying in from across the United States and as far away as Poland. I try to avoid fads, excess waste, and saturated fat. I strongly endorse photography, DDR, calorie counting, rss feeds, cooking, and utilizing your resources.
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