Weddingbee Blog

I read an absolutely delightful essay the other day in the newspaper, all about a charming 84-year-old grandma’s thoughts on her grandson’s non-traditional wedding. If you have a couple minutes, I highly recommend it.

In brief, this wedding, which took place a few months ago on Prince Edward Island, incorporated many of the more funky trends I’ve heard about lately. There were movie-poster-style save the dates, ‘bridesmen’ instead of maids, a wedding party decked out in matching (green!) sneakers, eclectic music choices and readings from darling children’s storybooks.

The grandma not only took it all in stride, but seemed to be genuinely tickled by the unexpected twists. I wanted to give her a great big hug at the end of the article. That’s how much I loved it.

Inevitably, after reading, I got to thinking about my own grandma, or rather, ‘Babcia’ as I call her.

Babcia (pronounced ‘bap-cha’; it means ‘granny’ in Polish) is my mama’s mama and she’s 86. (Sadly, I never got to meet my other Babcia in person.) She lives in a little rural town in Eastern Poland called Janów, near Białystok.

Isn’t she so adorable you just wanna SQUEEZE her?

Even though I’ve only met Babcia three times—when I was one, fifteen, and nineteen—we have a special bond.

This is a picture of me when I was nineteen; I was studying in France for a year, which gave me the opportunity to pop down to Poland for a Christmas I’ll never forget.

The first time I went to visit her there when I was fifteen, she was still washing clothes in the river and to make a phone call to her daughter in the next village, she still had to dial the operator and ask her to connect them. I’m not even exaggerating.

So, it’s not so surprising that the only time Babcia ever traveled anywhere in her life was once to Canada when my brother was born, and I was one year old.

I was so enraptured by Babcia that I insisted on wearing a handkerchief on my head just like her… even months after she’d gone back to Poland.

Tomorrow I’m popping some wedding invitations in the mail to Poland—one to Babcia, and a couple others to some family and friends. We know that coming to the wedding is not a possibility for them, but I’m sending the invitations along anyway with a note (and a Polish translation) to make them feel like they are a part of the celebration, and to ask them to think of us and pray for us.

I wonder what Babcia will say when she sees it.

Will she think we’re strange for getting married in the Caribbean? Will she be bewildered that we asked all our family and friends to fly there and celebrate with us? Will she be confused at what kind of reception it could possibly be without back-to-back polkas and waltzes? Will she be shocked that I’m planning on dragging my wedding dress through the sand and ocean at a sunrise photo session?

Maybe. But then again, maybe not.

I can’t help thinking that somewhere behind that weathered face with its mischievous smile is a young girl just like me, and that our bond connects us despite the miles and the decades.

Somehow, I think she’ll understand.

What do you think your grandparents will/would say about the non-traditional elements of your wedding?