Wedding Blog
One major topic of discussion when we were picking out options for our tasting with the caterer at Ravenwood was on buffet dinners versus seated dinners. We had previously been sent a menu that alluded only to buffet-style dinners, but then they sent a new one that included both buffet and sit-down meals. The prices don’t seem much different, but I have no idea if they include wait staff, which for a seated dinner can really ramp up the costs.
So, what are the pros of buffet vs. seated?
Seated Dinner
The seated dinner is served one of three ways.
(1) Individual plates are brought to the guests with the appropriate meal already upon it
(2) The wait staff serves the courses to the plates already on the table
(3) Two waiters serve from a platter: one holds the platter and one serves the meal.
Pros:
Buffet
The buffet dinner is served one of two ways.
(1) With one or more long tables set up with all of the dishes for people to serve themselves
(2) Different food stations set up at different points around the room.
Pros:
Obviously, things like cost and space don’t matter much to guests.
Which of the two do you prefer as a guest, and why?
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I prefer buffet style. There are usually more food options, and you dont get stuck being the last person to get your meal. My favorite wedding food wise, was were the couple set up different buffet stations from around the world. One station had sushi, there was a quesadilla station where they custom made them for each person right in front of you, there was a prime rib carving station, italian pasta station, etc. DELICIOUS. Plus if you have picky eaters everyones bound to find something they like as opposed to a 2 entree seated dinner selection.
Hopefully no one hates me for saying this, but the area I come from buffets are usually thought of as cheap (I’m not from Nashville!). I have been to one buffet style wedding, which was actually Brazilian BBQ so I think it was done more as a tradition than cost factor…. however walking a buffet line in a nice dress and heels is not my idea of a good time. I’m always worried about spilling something at the Whole Foods salad bar, so balancing plates at a wedding just makes me anxious 
+ its unfortunate, but I think a lot of ladies feel very self conscious about how much they choose vs just receiving a seated meal.
I like the buffet, this allows me to be a bit more picky lol. I can choose whatever “looks” good to me as appose of ordering at it not being what I imagined. Even at the buffet if something looks good and doesn’t taste that great I would still have other choices to eat from on my plate. Also it gives the opportunity of people that normally wouldn’t talk to each other because they have nothing in common have food in common =]
As a guest, I would probably prefer a buffet because it seems that I always end up ordering the worst choice of meals from the plated-meal menu and then waste it and try to mooch off of the plates of the smarter order-ers. However, the only experience I have of a formal affair with a buffet, would be my prom, which was terrible. For our wedding, we did home-style (i.e. a mini buffet on each table). I wasn’t a fan of it at first because I think that plated meals are more formal, but when it came to the day of the wedding - I didn’t have to worry if somebody brought an unannounced guest because I knew there was enough food. If we had gone with plated meals, I would have been stressing over what they would get to eat! Also, I know everybody had enough to eat because they control their portion sizes. It seems that the waiters serving from trays at the table would allow the guests to pick how much food they want, without having the buffet stampede. Hope this helps.
Buffet, buffet, buffet! As a guest there is nothing I (and especially Mr Y) am more disappointed by than sitting down at a reception and being served a tiny portion of food. Usually, we’re in a rush to get to the wedding, that we don’t eat much beforehand. By the time the dinner is served we’re both starving.
I was actually gonna have a buffet for my wedding but the cost would be the same but you got to remember buffets for weddings are NOT all you can eat. They still need a head count of how many people. A lot of people thinks its all you can eat but it usually isn’t.
Hi Miss Fondue I’m a huge fan of your blog from before you were a bee:) I actually got a lot of inspiration from you because I also had a damask wedding. My wedding just passed about 3 weeks ago and we had a Buffet. It was the best idea ever. All my guest kept saying how good the food was and how full they are. I don’t know about you but there has been plenty of weddings that I’ve been to where I’ve left hungry. The buffet was so grand that we had so much leftovers. Even though I couldn’t spurlge for an open bar I was glad everyone left satisfied without a empty tummy.
Buffet. I hate being stuck at a table due to other people being served first/later.
our venue said the cost would be the same because for a buffet they have to make more food. they dont know which dishes will be more popular and need to be replenished more than once. we are going with a sit-down to make it easier for some of our guests who have a hard time walking or have other limitations.
seated. def seated!!!!!
I am having a buffet style dinner at my wedding to encourage mingling. Also, I was told that a sit down dinner takes longer. I wanted more of a party atmosphere - my FI and I are not extremely formal people, so we wanted people to walk around, mingle, talk and laugh. If you use a very good caterer and the food is presented well, it will not look cheap.
I prefer (and am having) a buffet with different stations around the room. Picky eaters are happier, and it allows for last-minute guest substitutions with no hassle. You don’t have guests changing their meal options at the last second either.
Additionally, a buffet gives you the option of not having assigned seating. At weddings with buffets I’ve been to, guests ate as they pleased; there was no rush on the food or long lines. Not everyone was sitting down at the same time or even sitting down at all. So on the whole it seems like a lot less stress to have a buffet.
We’re having a seasted dinner, because I don’t like the idea of people standing in line for their dinner. The stations idea works a little better except that the last wedding I went to that had stations, the more popular stations ran out of food pretty early on. Although that was more the fault of the caterer than the bride and grooms choices.
I prefer the first seating option. I really hate buffets at weddings, I always seem to be at the last table dismissed to the food. Plus, buffets can actually cost a lot more since people usually take more than one serving. A buffet actually cost 5-7 dollars more for us, and with the seated option everyone was served within minutes.
Last plug for seated dinner: Elderly guests don’t have to worry about walking around and parents don’t have to struggle to carry both their plate and their child’s.
We are going with a buffet to save on the wait staff costs. I would rather have the few servers that are there to be on top of wine refills than serving teeny entrees that leaves everyone hungry. I’ve never left a wedding with a buffet and thought “gee, I’m really upset I had to stand up to get food” Its the ones with the plated meals where I think, wish I could have had a bit more veggies and less potatoes!!
Maybe it’s a Chicago/Northern thing, but even the idea of a buffet makes me, my FI, our parents and friends want to throw up! (sorry buffet lovers out there! Just being honest!) Besides the food being cold, I always get behind the person who wipes their nose on their hand then reaches into the bread basket (forget using the thongs clearly laying there for getting bread) and touches all the pieces before grabbing theirs. EWW! Besides that, it seems that the ‘good’ food gets eaten first and the people at the end of the line have to scrape the pan.
Go with the plated dinner! Much more elegant and easier for people who can’t move around as well (or those of use who will always spill something) to get their food, relax and just enjoy!
I like the convenience of the seated dinner, and I hate waiting in line for my meal - but at buffet’s usually the food is hotter, fresher, and better tasting. I suppose it depends on what you’re looking for and how important that is to you. It wasn’t that important to me (no one remembers the food anyhow) and I ended up at a location where we are not given a choice. Bummer.
I prefer buffet. We got to take TOOOOONS of leftovers home. Granted, we left for our honeymoon two days later, but those two days we got to eat some amazingly delicious food, and our family did too the day after the wedding. I prefer buffet.
PS - food’s not always cold…?!?! Please. And I still get many many comments about how good the food was (I think people do remember the food…if it’s good). I think the most important thing is that the food is tasty, not how its served, and a plated dinner is hard to do right (and good) imo.
We had a sit-down meal because we felt it was more “elegant” presentation wise. But if you were to ask me as a guest, I think I would honestly prefer a buffet. The food is usually more interesting and has more variety.
When we had a seated dinner with 2 entree choices, we knew we HAD to choose a beef and a non-beef to satisfy most palates.
The international buffets are more variety and everyone will be able to find something they like.
You can make it more “elegant” “upscale” whatever by having manned food stations, where servers place the food on people’s plates, vs serving themselves. Also make sure the venue keeps the food hot and give some serious thought into the room flow. Design the space to minimize lines.
I like the idea of a buffet so that everyone can choose exactly what and how much they want to eat, but I hate the line. I also would consider everyone attending the wedding. Meaning I agree with meagand about the elderly and people with children having difficulties in the buffet line.
Sitting and waiting for your food to be brought to you is the same thing as waiting in a buffet line. I’d rather be waiting seated.
I’m all about the stations. I’ve never been to a wedding with stations, but I’ve been to several company functions with pasta bars, carving stations, etc. and it just seems like so much more fun. I feel like it offers more variety and is good for the picky eaters out there. And it’s a lot less awkward for the people out there who are dieting or just don’t feel like eating.
Buffet! ESPECIALLY if you dont know about the wait staff. My parents were at a wedding where they waiting 3 hours before getting food!!! The DJ had called last dance when they had just started eating! And this was a well established place that caters to large crowds on a normal basis!!!
we had our reception dinner served seated. our venue’s method of service included having waitstaff disperse evenly throughout the room when it came time to serve dinner so we were able to avoid the awkward time gap that exists when you serve front-to-back, back-to-front, or what have you. people got their dinners at relatively the same times.
We are still debating this issue..but are leaning toward a buffet because we can offer more choices while still keeping an elegant setting by having a preplated salad and wine/bread service at the table.
We are still debating this issue..but are leaning toward a buffet because we can offer more choices while still keeping an elegant setting by having a preplated salad and wine/bread service at the table.
I think we are doing a seated dinner. Partially because this is more affordable. Another reason is that we don’t want people standing in line for so long because we have been to several weddings where one table is finishing their meal while the other table waits in line. Although I have heard if managed correctly and depending on guest count you can avoid the line and timing issues.
I do love the idea of stations though. If this were within our budget I’d love to do this. I think it is the best of both worlds because you can choose what you want, but not have to wait in a super long line.
Seated dinner all the way. For buffet, guests have to wait in line, or sit and wait at their tables for their turn, guests are done eating at all different times, so they are once again, waiting. Weddings I have been to that have buffet. vs. seated, the seated meals didn’t take long at all for people to be done eating, they are hungry! You can easily save time here by doing other things, speeches, cake cutting, 1st dance-if your behind on time, while everyone is eating because they aren’t milling around or going back for seconds they are all in one spot! Don’t worry about variety, they saw the menu before they came to wedding, they know what they are eating before hand it isn’t a surprise, that is why couples choose 3 different meals for seated. Buffets are cheaper in my area, and stations are way more expensive then seated dinners. Family style is even pricier.
I prefer buffet because they are generally more “friendly” to those with food allergies. I don’t feel awkward asking the caterers if there is gluten in a dish, but I definitely feel awkward asking the bride and groom to accommodate me with a special meal.
In all honesty, buffet reads less elegant to me because it feels school cafeteria-esque, and I feel awkward being in a fancy dress waiting in line for food and balancing things, and it’s just not as relaxing. However, it could be done in a cool way with unique options that people don’t typically see at a wedding.
So I think it comes down to your audience. If you have a younger crowd and/or it’s a less formal event I think it could go over well. But if you have a number of older guests, lots of people with kids, etc. think about that. For them it becomes more of a hassle than interesting, and some of your older guests might be turned off depending on their expectations.
Be careful with the former. I was at a black-tie event (not a wedding) hosted by one of the best caterers in Philly, and the staff kept DROPPING the food on people as they served it! I was holding my napkin over my light blue gown in fear that it would get stained. SO not the effect those planning the event were (hopefully) going for! 
Hands down, buffet is my preference.
As a guest, I don’t like feeling confined to my seat, waiting for the next course. For me, attending a wedding is all about mingling. I also like being able to choose my items and portions.
As a bride, I liked the buffet because we didn’t have to keep track of entree choices, it was easy to accept late RSVPs or last-minute declines, and we could accommodate all the various dietary restrictions of our guests without having to single anyone out. Our guests didn’t have to wait in long lines because the buffet was well set-up and they really enjoyed being able to go back for seconds!
Although I like the variety offered in a buffet dinner, my fiance and I are going to have a seated dinner. We’ve been to a few buffet weddings…and just didn’t like the way everything was done (from food, to set up, to just the overall look and feel).
I’ve only known long table buffets for weddings. I guess it’s a standard in the south, and it allows people to eat a little of everything, rather than choose one dish and stick with it (no entree envy!).
Seated. It just seems more formal and I like to control the timing.
Also, the first comment on here describing the buffet was a description of my cocktail hour…
We are doing seated (not sure if we even had a buffet choice) but it will be a lot more work for me! Since the dinner is plated, I will have to be really crazy about getting everyone’s RSVP. Also, we have to give a detailed list to the venue on which guest is getting which entree, and also mark it somehow on the back of their placecards! Goodness.
The good thing is, we have four different choices for guests, and they will do vegan meals or special allergies for free as long as it isn’t more than 10 percent of the guest list.
Every wedding I’ve attended was buffet - usually with food stations instead of one or two long tables. We’re opting for sit down dinner because (a) it’ll be a different experience for most of our guests, (b) I think it’s a little more formal and (c) I personally LIKE being waited on occasionally.
I think seated is much better. I hate having to stand in line for the buffet and then try to get back to my seat without dropping my plate. I love buffet food but not at weddings!
I’d have to agree with Tater. Where I’m from (pretentious Los Angeles ;)) - buffets are looked at as cheap.
I agree that buffets would allow for more flexibility but being the meticulous person that I am, having people standing in line and coordinating who gets to go when, etc just seems like a big distraction and a lot of hoopla.
Buffets aren’t always cheaper. It depends on the venue. Some venues make a lot more food for the buffet than they would for a seated dinner. That last option for the seated dinner is called French Service, isn’t it? That’s labor intensive, so the costs will go up.
I know guys are big fans of buffets (i.e. my FI!) probably because they can go back for seconds! I like buffets, too. However, we are having a sit-down dinner. Like others have said, it has a more formal feel to it and I don’t like it when guests are finished eating at all different times.
We wanted to do a buffet for cost reasons (you should get quotes from the caterer before making any choices, the extra service costs for the plated meal were pretty substantial!) but we realized quickly that we didn’t have room in our venue for 150 people plus two buffet tables (and all of the caterers we talked to said we needed two unless we were ok with some guests waiting over 45 minutes). I like both kinds of meals, but I think you shouldn’t do a buffet unless you’re sure you can get people through the line in a timely way. I hate being at the last table to go to the buffet, I get so hungry and impatient!
Wow, it looks like you’ve got a lot of both sides. My experience comes from catering weddings. We did plated dinners, and contrary to popular belief, unless they have *a lot* of servers, not everyone gets served at the same time. The first tables were still long done by the time everyone got their food. I’ve also had a lot of people who didn’t get fed enough asking us (wait staff) for seconds, or a way to get another plate, or eating off of each others plates!
We’re having a staffed buffet (staff serves food from the buffet line) to control sanitary and portion issues, but I’m still looking for a way to cut down on wait time, or at least keep people distracted while they wait!
I hate plated dinners b/c they always take FOREVER for everyone to get their food, and my fiance hate buffets because he thinks they’re lowbrow.
We are compromising and going with a dinner served family-style to the table.
Sounds like lots of great ideas out there! I like either sit down dinners or buffet stations! I’m not a huge fan of long-table buffet because I don’t like waiting in lines and sometimes I feel silly going for seconds. The buffet stations allow you to have lots of “little meals” so you can enjoy lots of options!
Definitely a buffet. I know a plated dinner may seem more formal, but it doesn’t always come off that way. A friend of mine had a plated dinner at her fancy wedding, and the food was cold and not very good. I asked for the vegetarian meal which my friend assured me didn’t have cheese (I can’t do cheese!), and it arrived full of it. A buffet allows guests to pick and choose based on their dietary needs, which is important to making them feel like they are taken care of at your wedding.
I think buffet v. sit down can be very regional– I’m also from the south and have been to far more buffet weddings than sit down served meal weddings. A buffet can be done well!
I prefer, and am having, a buffet (well, stations actually). For all the reasons PP have said, I want to encourage mingling, as a guest I hate being stuck at my table waiting to be served, and FI never seems to get enough to eat when the meal is plated and tries to steal mine! Ditto on I would prefer more veggies and fewer potatoes and to pick and choose what I’d like. We’re still going back and forth on assigned seating, the nice thing with stations is that not everyone will be eating at the same time so you don’t HAVE to have assigned seats or even 1 seat per person.
Good luck!
I’m for the stations. We want our guests to enjoy themselves and mingle but we didn’t like the idea of doing a traditional buffet. So- we figured the stations would be a perfect compromise. The stations lend themselves to a fun, relaxed atmosphere, but still provide the elegance that a seated menu would provide. Plus, we have a lot of picky eaters so a pasta station, carving station etc. will satisfy everyone’s appetite!
As a guest I looove buffets at weddings. You just never know which entree will be the tastiest when choosing a meal, and plated portions can by tiny — there’s nothing worse than being a hungry guest. I’m a small gal and don’t eat a ton, so when I can clean my plate and still be ravenous, something is wrong.
I also prefer a more traditional-style buffet to stations. Stations can be okay when it’s very clear what is being served at each one. But sometimes you just have to hop in a line and hope for the best. Keeping all the food in one general area can help you make “educated” food decisons (wow, the prime rib looks way better than the lamb chops — forget those!).
wow, so many comments… I vote for a seated dinner. The last buffet-style reception I went to ran out of the veggie main course option because people had been getting 2 entrees (boo!) so I got salad and mashed potatoes by the time I made it through the line.
Wow, lots and lots of differing opinions! It’s so nice to hear other people’s points of views.
If we go the buffet route, it looks like we may only be able to afford one choice of entree (so stations are pretty much out), whereas the seated dinner, we could afford two. (It is an extra amount per guest for another buffet option, whereas the extra plated option just depends on the number of guests who choose it.)
We do plan on having assigned tables, if not assigned seating, and there will be toasts and table visits going on while people are eating.
We have a meeting with them in a few weeks to determine exactly what is included in the costs and the number of servers they would provide, but we do plan on getting quotes for both options, and then weighing that in with the pros and cons before deciding.
Def seated dinner!
a good caterer will always have multiple tables being served at once, whereas for buffet, someone’s bound to be at the end of the line. also the logistics get messy. does everyone go up at once. tables get called? i’ve been to a few buffet weddings and it was always very cafeteria style but i guess done right, it can work.
maybe i’m biased but being from nyc, no one does buffets 
I agree that seated dinners feel more formal/elegant, but I have enjoyed most of the buffet-style weddings I’ve been to the most, because I was able to eat exactly what I wanted and to spend more time mingling/socializing with friends during the dinner portion of the evening. That said, most of the buffet weddings I’ve been to have had a ton of food choices (multiple entrees, action stations, etc), so if doing the buffet will actually mean LESS choices in your case, I would probably vote for the sit-down.
I highly prefer seated, both for formality and food options.
As someone with allergies who prefers to eat vegetarian, buffets are a Russian roulette as to whether or not I can identify what each item is so I do not end up with something I can’t eat. With a seated dinner I have always been able to select a vegetarian meal and know that I will have a safe and filling meal.
Seated. I don’t like having to juggle a plate. I don’t like waiting in line. I don’t like being at the last table called to get in line. I don’t like seeing other guests sneezing on the food, or their kids sticking their hands in it. But really, more than anything else, I think seated is more elegant, so it’s just a matter of personal taste.
I vote seated. I just don’t think there’s anything remotely elegant about a buffet.
I like buffets, but as a wedding guest I prefer seated, especially if I’m in a situation where I don’t know a lot of people. I always seem to be out of sync with the rest of the table. It’s sort of awkward to get back to the table at a different time than everyone around you because either you’re the only person eating or you’re finished way early.
NOT BUFFET!
actually, it depends on what kind of atmosphere you are looking for… for a more formal, elegant affair, a sit down dinner served any way is the best way. a buffet is more of a fun atmosphere, much less formal, but also not considered to be as classy as a sit down. who wants to have to carry ur own food at a party?
I think it really depends on the time of day and the “feel” of the wedding. I’d always thought I’d have a formal evening wedding with a seated dinner, but due to some scheduling issues we’re having a lunchtime wedding instead. The vibe will be much more casual, and a seated lunch just didn’t seem to fit. So, we’ll be doing mini-buffets (I think they will all have the same food, but there will be 3-4 stations set up so everyone can get food more quickly). I polled a bunch of people who will be guests at our wedding, and they overwhelmingly said a buffet would be better (in fact, there was not a single vote for sit-down).
Buffet, by a LONG shot! Love the variety of choices, and love being able to pick what I feel like eating. It works especially well when it’s a variety of “heavy hors d’oeuvres” type foods that people can pick at over the course of time. And that lends itself well to serving stations, which cuts out the major negative of a buffet — the “waiting in line” factor.
As a server, I like buffets because we get to eat the leftovers at the end of the night As a guest, I like seated because it allows me to socialize and relax as I am taken care of.
As a bride, I want to feel pampered (plus I am the one who did the tasting, so I know what I will like!)
as an event planner, plated.
as a wedding guest, still plated.
i know a few people above complained that you have more options and it’s easier to deal with dietary restrictions with a buffet, but generally with a plated dinner if you let your server know that you have certain restrictions or allergies they are more than willing to let the kitchen know they need a plate without whatever the item is. they certainly don’t want you to get sick because of their food. also, there is generally always a silent vegetarian (and often fish) option that you just need to ask your server about.
i prefer seating cuz i hate waiting in lines…esp. being korean and koreans usually serve korean style buffet…all the older people have to go first in line..and by the time your getting your food…all the good stuff like the main meat (gal bi jjim) is all gone!!
i did go to an american style resturant and they had american style buffet such as prime rib and salmon…it was very good and the wedding was still elegant and pretty..
iv been to some hotel weddings which were seated and the food came out waayy to cold and over cooked…it wasnt that good as buffet style american food…
but still in the end id rather choose seating to avoid the lines…but its very RARE that the food at weddings are good. Usually the hor de vours are much better so i try to eat as much as i can before the actual dinner is served. =)
funny, it seemd that our vendor preferred seated/plated. I also think its more elegant. A buffet feels like a bbq, i figure i only am doing this type of affair once, so why not go all out and be non-casual.
Picturing people in line, seems like cattle in line, yuck, SEATED.
SEATED !
I hate waiting until our table gets called, then standing in line balancing salad plate and entree while trying to put food on the plate while at the same time balancing myself in dress and heels. It always feels like we are at the camp, standing in line for food at the caffeteria.
I don’t care to have more options, I go there to celebrate the marriage, if I want something specific to eat, I have a dinner at the restaurant of my choice. Besides, the weddings with buffet that I’ve been to didn’t have more than two choices of entrees and one big bowl of generic salad. It basically looked and tasted cheap, nothing else.
buffet!
i was so against it before but my fiance and i have been to two buffet weddings in the past year and have really enjoyed them. neither had a hint of “cheap” and it was just nice to eat what we wanted and talk to people when we got up to get food. at both there were enough stations that they didn’t have to stagger the tables (tho i think that people do that automatically, i noticed at our table we waited a bit until it wasn’t that crowded) and the quality of the food was excellent.
the one we we totally loved had awesome food stations, including hand rolled sushi, carving stations, etc. everyone raved, and this was a hard crowd to please since it’s a ton of well-traveled, spoiled folks used to whatever they want!
my only concern is for the older guests. personally, i don’t want my parents or my fiance’s 70+ year-old parents having to stand in line or carry stuff. but, i think it’s easy to assign a friend or family member to escort them up and hold their plates.
I like buffet only if it’s station-style so I don’t have to wait behind people in line and try to balance everything at once before sitting down again. If I can drop off my plate at the table and go get a salad, that works so much better.
I like seated better in general, but only if there are enough waiters so no one has to wait very long. But, I’ve never been to a seated wedding with bad or small food, so that wasn’t an issue.
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Miss Fondue, Nashville
Age and Occupation: 27, Technical Analyst
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Network Admin Student/Senior Game Advisor
Engagement Date: December 25, 2007
Wedding Date: May 2009
Blogging Since: September 14, 2008
Venue: Ravenwood Golf Club
About Me: I’m your average computer geek marrying a gaming geek and trying to find a good balance of elegance and geek chic in our wedding. I adore The Sims, Nintendo, cosplay, (good) music, TiVo, theme parks, and our two crazy felines.
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