Weddingbee

This post was originally published here, along with posts by Mrs. Bee, Mrs. Cream Puff, and Mrs. Gingerbread.  The comments on all those posts can be found at the link above.

I wanted to start this post by congratulating Bee and the behind-the-scenes support staff for finally seeing the fruits of their labor with the sale of Weddingbee. I was a long-time Weddingbee stalker before I became a volunteer blogger for the site, and seeing Bee and co. develop the site has been incredible. I’m sure we can all agree that Weddingbee has been an invaluable resource for planning our weddings and a great source of community.

Though I was excited for the change, I must admit my heart sunk when I found out that eHarmony was the company Weddingbee was sold to. It’s no big reveal that principles of social justice underlie not only my wedding planning process, but also my choice of profession and personal goals. As a queer woman and advocate for LGBTQ issues, I have strong reservations about eHarmony’s history and their current stance towards the LGBTQ community, as it goes directly against what I have worked so hard for.eHarmony has stated that it is not part of their current business plan to include same-sex matching on their website any time soon.  Maintaining the ‘business interests‘ of the company has been eHarmony’s justification for denying its services to the LGBTQ community, though the history of its founder’s connection to Focus on the Family suggests to me that there are more than business interests at play.

If we are going to talk about business interests, then I believe eHarmony’s acceptance of the existing LGBTQ bloggers on Weddingbee (myself and Mrs. Gingerbread) is nothing more than another business decision. Token representation of a few LGBTQ bloggers on Weddingbee is not the same as changing an entire business model that I believe discriminates against members of the LGBTQ community as a whole.

My concern with eHarmony capitalizing on the presence of LGBTQ bloggers is not only out of principle, but out of the real material benefits the company gains by our continued blogging. It is profitable for eHarmony when any of us Bees blog; meanwhile, eHarmony loses nothing, because they can appear to support the LGBTQ community on Weddingbee while continuing to block same-sex matching on their main website. It is very painful for me to know that the ad revenue Weddingbee garners from its readers gives eHarmony more money to profit from, and to continue practices that I believe are discriminatory against the LGBTQ community.

I have loved blogging for Weddingbee, but I am concerned that my continued presence on this site suggests a tacit acceptance of eHarmony or their practices. I want to state for the record that this is not the case- I do not. eHarmony is a privately-owned company, and the moral imperatives guiding its business model are its choice. I, however, am not comfortable knowing that my contribution to Weddingbee ultimately benefits a company whose values and morals differ so drastically from my own.

I have every intention of continuing to blog through my wedding, because I would love to share the rest of my journey to the aisle with all of you. I hope that eHarmony is open to me continuing to include my views on wedding-related issues that I feel are important, such as LGBTQ marriage equality, and I look forward to continued dialogue with you all as Weddingbee moves into this new phase of growth and change. If I do decide to leave down the road, dear readers, know that it has been a joy and honor to be a part of the Weddingbee community with all of you!

Sincerely,
Miss Sweet Tea

• Weddingbee and Marriage E...
• Weddingbee and Marriage E...