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Growing up, I had a father, but did not have a father present. Unfortunately, my father could not break his bad drug addiction. Sister Spring Roll and I mostly saw our father through heavy glass and spoke to him through tiny holes; as he spent most of our childhood in jail. When he wasn’t in jail, he was rarely around. I vividly remember waiting on the couch with sister Spring Roll for hours, as he had promised to visit, only to be left waiting. When I was a senior in High School, my father completed a several month long drug rehabilitation program. I had hope for him, as he even showed up to my graduation. The hope diminished, as he slowly went back to his old habits.
Sister Spring Roll was married in April and although he didn’t deserve the honor, she asked him to walk her down the aisle. Weeks before the wedding he informed her that he would not be walking her down the aisle or attending. Mom Spring Roll walked sister Spring Roll down the aisle. Mom Spring Roll will be walking me down the aisle as well. Additionally, I plan to have a mother/daughter dance and think I may have found the perfect song:
In My Daughter’s Eyes by Martina McBride
Mom Spring Roll is my hero, my everything. I love her so much and am so grateful for all that she gave up to support sister Spring Roll and myself.
Photo by Olan Mills, circa early 1990’s
Photo by Mr. Spring Roll, 2006.
Who will be walking you down the aisle?
My dad’s best friend will be walking me down the aisle. My father died of brain cancer 9 years ago. Until recently that my dad’s best friend told me that my father, before dying, told him that his job was to stand in his place and walk me and my sis down the aisle when we got married. I will gladly hold his hand down the aisle and dance with him as if it was with my father, just as he wished. Wow, now how do I stop these tears while at work?!?!
I LOVE that last picture — too cute! Super touching post, Spring Roll, and I think that song is PERFECT!!
Miss Spring Roll, you have a beautiful mom.
Since I grew up in a similiar situation, I had my brother walked me down the aisle and I split my father/daughter dance with my step-dad and grandpa. Its the personally touches like these that really make weddings so special and wonderful!
I just teared up reading your post. I am having my dad, but I’ve always felt so strongly connected with my mom and want to honor her by having them both walk me down. Can’t wait!
I’m crying too! But mostly b/c I have a sort-of similar situation with my real father. He is an alcoholic. My mom divorced him when my sister and I were young. We would see him occasionally during my childhood. But when his mother died (when I was 12) he pretty much disappeared. One thing he promised us was that he would come to our high school graduations, and that never happened. I hear from him with cryptic postcards and letters that come every few months or years. I haven’t seen him in 16 years.
Needless to say he will not be at my wedding.
My wonderful step-father, who took care of my mother, sister and I when we needed him most, will be walking me down the aisle.
Thank you for the post SR. I hope to do a dance with my mother too, she is everything to me.
My brother will be walking me down the aisle. He was the one that was there, he was the one that cared.
I think there are so many other women out there in the same situation as you.
My father was around, he just didn’t care and eventually chose not to care at all. He is still out there, he is alive but no longer is he allowed to come in and out of my life. I basically just broke up with my own father.
And life has been 100% better since.
Negative people bring negative outcomes in life!
Kudos to you for surrounding yourself with the positive people.
And I think your Mom will feel 100% blessed at your wedding!
Miss Spring Roll, that is a beautiful song. . . to answer your question, no one will be walking me down the aisle. My father passed away ten days before my 18th birthday, just three days before I graduated high school. He held on until all of my exams were over and class rankings were announced - it was his dream for one of his kids to graduate high school (my brothers & sisters didn’t), and I think it was even sweeter that I graduated at the top of my class.
I’ve considered alternatives - my nephew who was like a brother to me growing up - he was at our house as much as he could me (although he has parents who love him very much). In the end, I decided if my daddy couldn’t do it with me, I’d go it alone . . . it’s a personal decision I made. ReynaBee, it’s touching and beautiful that your father was looking ahead to your big day and made arrangements for his best friend to stand in his place. Okay, and now I’m tearing up. . .
I’m sorry about your dad but what a beautiful post about your mom! Great song choice too!
I cant really say anything becuase this song has me all in tears here…BUT this is an amazing song that compliments a beautiful relationship between mother and daughter
tearing up over here. Can I send your super-woman mom a hug? *HUG* Great job, mom, for raising you and your sister by herself.
you are truly blessed to have a parent who cares so much for you!
Go mom spring roll!
This was a beautiful post. My father is not in my life either, so my grandfather is walking me down the aisle.
I am also having my mom walk me down the aisle since my dad passed away 4 years ago. I think your idea for a mother daughter dance is so thoughtful! I hadn’t considered it, but I think I will ask her!
ditto to miss hot cocoa. with a tear in my eye.
I’m so glad to know I’m not the only bride who will be having a Mother/Daughter dance! My parents are still happily married, going on 30 years come April, and my father is walking me down the aisle. But I have always been very close to my mother too, so I have special songs and will dance with both of my parents in turn. (With Dad it’s Thank Heaven for Little Girls by Maurice Chevalier, and with Mom it’s Celine Dion’s Because You Loved Me.)
My mom is also walking me down the aisle & we will also be having a mother/daughter dance! Yay for amazing moms 
My dad was an alcoholic & used to beat my mom up. She divorced him to make sure that it didn’t also happen to me. He’s been clean for about a year & we’ve been in contact. He’s coming to my wedding (or he’s invited, anyway- whether he actually comes will remain to be seen), but he definitely will just be a “guest” and have no formal role in the ceremony or anything else.
I am SO excited to see others doing a mother/daughter dance! I asked my mom to do one with me as well (as she raised me by herself for 13 years and we’re extremely close) in addition to my father/daughter dance. I’m letting her pick the song - and I’m sure it’s going to be 70’s disco of some sort, so we can let the whole room see our ridiculously awesome dance ability 
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Mrs. Spring Roll, Tampa Age and Occupation: 23, Certified Pharmacy Technician Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Concert Photographer Engagement Date: May 1, 2008 Wedding Date: March 2009 Blogging Since: September 16, 2008 Venue: Beach Social Hall About Me: I'm the stereotypical girl who enjoys sewing, baking, and decorating. I am blessed to share my life with Mr. Spring Roll and our two shih tzu's, Isabella and Gabriella. Hello Kitty, musicals, Target, and Chick-fil-a are a few of my favorite things. I have a fear of fish and Freddy Krueger. Planning our wedding has become a huge part of my life, and I love every minute of it!
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