Was It Legal?
October 3rd, 2008 @ 12:05 pm by Mrs. Penguin
Our ceremony was like a dream. It was so amazing to hear every word my Myrtle was saying, and knowing that she so painstakingly crafted our ceremony with words from her heart. And boy, it was nothing we could EVER have submitted to her and said, “Here. Read this.” She and I had originally sat down and wrote the backbone for what was to eventually become the most important 20 minutes of Mr. Peng and my life thus far. She took that copy and ran with it, virtually changing every part to be so incredibly personal to us, It really took my breath away. I was marrying the most compassionate man I knew, and being married by the most compassionate woman I knew. Life couldn’t have been better than at that moment! (It’s all been downhill from there, you know. Kidding) 
It was windy… I looked like a lion. Rawr.
But there was one aspect of this perfect match between officiant and couple that I just couldn’t believe ’til I saw it:
Would our marriage be legal?
Myrtle was ordained online through the Universal Life Church. I had heard countless brides talk about how they were having a friend get ordained there, and presiding over their ceremonies, but I couldn’t seem to come across a married gal that ever came back and said, “Yes! We used the ULC, and it worked!” I probably wasn’t looking hard enough, and was too lazy to ask. But there I was. I had a feeling everything was going to be fine, but I really wouldn’t believe it until I saw that hard copy of our marriage certificate in our hands.
This was the moment I started to cry. Myrtle was speaking to me directly and I didn’t want to screw her up and make her start crying, so I refused to look at her while she spoke to me.
I’m happy to report, IT WORKED! We did hit one hiccup, though, and for a while, I didn’t think it worked. Our marriage license didn’t arrive in the time frame it was promised, so I figured something was amiss. About three weeks after the wedding, the county called to let us know that our license was incomplete. We had failed to fill in the box that asks for the official title of the person solemnizing the marriage. Since she was an online ordained minister, we figured she didn’t really have a title, so we skipped it. But, apparently you’re NOT supposed to skip this box, ordained online or otherwise. So if a friend is marrying you, be sure to fill this in the “Official Title” box:
Dep Com Civ Mar
This is probably is short for something meaningful, but I’m too lazy to look it up. Deputy Commercial Civil Marriage? Department of Commerce Civilization March? Your guess is as good as mine. The County Clerk filled it in for us after calling us about it, but it did delay the processing about a month.
You want physical evidence? Here you go:
I don’t know why I felt the need to put my dirty ass in this picture… and yet… there I am.
Fellow online ordained brides, let everyone know what state you got married in, and reassure everyone out there that online ordination works! Or, maybe in your case, failed miserably?
The Penguins got married in California, and ULC worked for us!
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20 Responses to “Was It Legal?”
YAY, so glad it was legal 
and I love the pic of you peaking out from behind your license.
For any Colorado brides out there, the state actually allows the bride & groom to “solemnize” their union themselves - yes, that’s right. . . you can really have a DIY wedding. So if you think about it- you can have anyone perform the ceremony (without paying whatever fee normally required to be ordained) and it will still be legal because in the eyes of the state of Colorado, you and your spouse made it legal when you got the marriage license. For the bride on a budget, this could save the expense of having an officiant (as long as you’re not getting married in a church). I was totally shocked by this info - I’d never heard of such a thing - I don’t know about the other states, but Louisiana definitely does not offer this option for marital bliss.
Woo-Hoo!!! Congrats on it being offically offical Very cute pictures!
I miss your posts! Please find time to write more. As if you have other things to do.
Yes, ULC is just fine in Oklahoma. 
Works in Pennsylvania too! That’s what we did!
NEVER!
Works in TEXAS~
Can I add a question on to this post?
We had considered having my sister get ordained through ULC to officiate our marriage - but then backed out of asking her. She’s already a member of a religion, and I didn’t know if it would make her feel awkward to be “ordained” in another.
Did anyone else struggle with this or have someone decline because of their religion? Or was I just a wimp? We’re already married, so it’s a moot point. I’m just curious!
I believe it stands for Deputy Commissioner of Civil Marriages
we got married june 28 in sonoma, ca and recieved our marriage certificate on july 7th. we had a friend married us. he went thru the sonoma county clerk office to take a 45 mins course to become our duty marriage commissioner for the day. the training program cost $120 but, it was worth it because we had applied for a confidential marriage license. i thought about having him go thru the Universal Life Church but, i didn’t want to risk it since i couldn’t find enough information.
For any Pennsylvania brides out there, know that PA has a similar option to what loralie described above for Colorado. It’s called a “Self-Uniting” license. It was actually designed for Quakers, since there is no clergy. Basically, it’s the same exact thing as a regular marriage license, but has no line for the officiant, just the bride, groom and two witnesses. I think it costs like $10 more than the regular license, but it was worth every penny having my DH’s aunt be able to marry us during our wedding! No proof of being Quaker required!
It does NOT work in New York (oddly enough!). We were planning on having my fiances uncle ordained online and marry us. Wellllll, good thing I read the NY Times article about online ordination… NYS does not recognize any minister without a congregation behind them.
We’re still having him perform the ceremony since it’s important to have someone we love officiating over our vows in front of our family & friends, we will then have a judge go through the legal motions right after.
“Dep Com Civ Mar” = “Deputy Commissioner of Civil Marriages”
We did this in Nevada, and while it worked, there were definitely hoops to jump through. If you want to do this, make sure you research it. It was well worth the trouble (though we did have a couple panicked moments!)
@Erin: One of my very best friends in a very devout Lutheran. I asked him to officiate my wedding. Although he loves me and my DH (then FI), he declined to officiate because we are atheist and, as such, God and Jesus wouldn’t be playing a role in our marriage. He couldn’t, in good conscience, solemnify such a union. I thought he might decline when I asked him, but it would have been so wonderful, I wanted to give it a shot. Aside from him feeling bad about saying no (I assured him that I understood and respected his decision), it wasn’t awkward and I was really glad I’d asked. Incidentally, he had already been ordained in the ULC to officiate at another wedding, so that wouldn’t have been a problem.
Mrs. Penguin, Sacramento
Age and Occupation: 26, Video & TV Producer/Director/Editor
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Doctor of Physical Therapy
Engagement Date: January 29, 2007
Wedding Date: June 7, 2008
Blogging Since: September 14, 2007
Venue: Winery in the Gold Country
About Me: I'm a silly mess of a girl who, above all else in this world, LOVES the Spice Girls. I eat sushi at least 3 times a week, and feel guilty about how much it costs the other 4 days a week. I love designer jeans and cheap accessories. I don't like sweets, but I love the UCLA Bruins!
love it! you’re fierce, woman!!! more pics!