Weddingbee

I was the first one he told. It took him a while to find the words, but when he did, they were to me.

“Jillian, I’m gay.”

Three little words, so basic, so simple, but they made his voice shake when he said them. Because saying them made it real.
I’ll admit I was surprised. I had only known him as straight. He’d dated one of my friends and I had often assumed they’d get married. Him and Her.

He wouldn’t look at me right away and I knew he was afraid. After all, there were a lot of things to be afraid of with that kind of revelation. I might judge him. Or shame him. Call him names or try to convince him it wasn’t true.

But I didn’t—I couldn’t—and instead I gave him a hug and told him it was “all cool.” I felt stupid for a while afterward while we sat drinking coffee, thinking my words were too lame and ineloquent, but then he smiled across the table at me and I started to feel better about it.

This was big news and he trusted me enough to tell me.

It was two years before he revealed the truth to his parents.

My Man of Honour is gay. My old writing buddy from high school is gay. Several of my friends are gay. I’ve heard all their stories. Stories about being kicked out of the house. Stories about being threatened and intimidated. Stories about being beaten up in the park. Stories about throwing up every morning for a year out of fear. Fear of saying those three little words that would make it all real. I am gay.

I am not a political person by nature. I have very much enjoyed my time blogging for Weddingbee and genuinely cherish the friendships I’ve made here. I’ve been happy sharing this time in my life with such a great audience and I love and respect the girls that I’ve written with and the people I’ve written for. For the past year these people have been like family to an only child like me and I couldn’t have been blessed with a better bunch. My Weddingbee sisters.

But as is the case with family, sometimes you disagree and you’re left with a choice. You can either stay and live within the rules of the house or you can pack up your bags and head out into the wild blue yonder to live by your own rules.

And so it is with a mixture of fondness and sadness that I flutter my little Hummingbird wings out of the hive for good. I will continue to write on my personal Xanga site (www.xanga.com/bumblingbride) but in honour of the people in my life whose lives conflict with the policies/politics of site’s new owners, I choose to end my time here at the ’Bee.

Much love to all of you who remain as readers and bloggers and many thanks to the Behind-The-Scenes Bee Team (Mrs. Bee, Mr. Bee, BIL Bee and Pengy) who have been supportive both technically and emotionally during this crazy roller coaster year.

Parting is such sweet sorrow…

XOXOXO,
Mrs. Hummingbird

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