“Our Wedding Isn’t Going to Be Anything Like YOURS.”
October 7th, 2008 @ 10:59 am by Mrs. Strawberry
Mr. Strawberry was recently talking with his friend Andy and his fiancee about their upcoming wedding and whether or not they were nervous or not. They both agreed they were not, but made a point that it was going to be nothing like our wedding. Mr. Strawberry was a bit confused by this statement. The bride continued by saying that there wouldn’t be any birds at her wedding. WTF!? Was she making a jab at OUR wedding!?
It’s not like we had a bird theme or anything. Yes, there were birds on the cake. And on the invitations. And a few scattered throughout the reception… OMG, was our wedding tacky and I didn’t know it!? I mean it’s not like we had live parakeets at the reception. Or gave away baby birds as favors. I totally want to punch the girl in the face. I know, totally wrong. But let’s be honest, I’m kind of violent like that.
Did a comment about your wedding or wedding planning catch you off guard? What was it?
Related Posts
56 Responses to ““Our Wedding Isn’t Going to Be Anything Like YOURS.””
Aw, that’s not nice! I happen to think the bird theme is very cute! 
Eew! *punch!* punch!* I would be irritated too. I like birds!
How rude! Your wedding was beautiful. You and your hubby were beautiful. 
I would feel the same way, but maybe she was telling you about some things she was planning that similar to what you did at your wedding, and her comment was to let you know that she’s not trying to copy you.
Hmmm, it did come off negative but perhaps it wasn’t meant to be. Maybe (just a tad chance) that they said that to mean, “My wedding won’t be as highly detailed and well-thought of than your wedding.”
So her wedding won’t be nice… like yours
I haven’t received any of these comments b/c I haven’t had my wedding, but I’m pretty sure if someone made a comment like that about my wedding I would want to punch them in the face too.
P.S. I hope my wedding is like yours, I’m incorporating birds too.
IF you go to her wedding get her a gift with birds, wrapped with bird paper, and a card with birds on it. LOL.
That’s just rude. Everyone has different tastes! She’d better be careful thinking that she’s better than everyone else or else her wedding day will be the day from hell!!! Karma is a major b*tch!
I have an old ship theme and I have a feeling that after the wedding (this weekend!) I’ll recieve comments about my “pirate” wedding. Oh well! As long as you are happy and got to include elements of things you love, who cares what other people say!!!
Whatever it meant, don’t worry about it! As long as you and your husband were happy with the wedding, that’s all that matters
I wouldn’t stress about it. It was probably just an off-the-cuff remark. Think about it - pretty much all weddings are the same at their roots (its called tradition!). So she probably thought that the bird theme is the only thing that distinguishes their wedding from yours. No stress, be happy
That’s rude of her to say that! When I read the title of the post, I thought that somebody was complimenting you by saying that their wedding won’t be as creative or beautiful, or maybe that they didn’t put as much hard work into planning. I don’t think your wedding seemed like it took place in the bird exhibit at the zoo (which might warrant that comment). Sometimes when people are jealous or know they can’t do things that you can, they try to bring you down as a way of making themselves feel better. Just shrug it off…and then go look through your beautiful wedding pictures!
I agree, that was rude. I also had someone make a rude comment (or more than a few comments) to me about my wedding. It was my boss! After I’d returned from my honeymoon, he proceeded to tell me (after work one day, as I was feverishly trying to catch up on work) that he and his wife had a horrible time at my wedding, the drive was too long, they hated the food, ended up with headaches, etc. And he told me all of this… to my face! Arg! So sorry you had a horrible time. I had a blast!
My favorite thing someone said to me? “The rehearsal dinner food was way better than the reception food.”
Gee thanks for letting me know that seeing as how the reception food cost oh, 95% MORE than the rehearsal dinner. I think I’ll go slit my wrists now.
Yeah, people can say stupid stuff but I don’t think it’s because they had a problem with your wedding. I think stuff just slips.
you should tell her that you have some advice for her since you just had your wedding (and she’s obviously making a hit and maybe was there?)…
“Sweetie, just take it from me, make sure you don’t invite people who tend to comment on things when they don’t pay for any of it!…It’s just so RUDE after all”.
OMG, how rude! I wonder if I should cut down on the birds at my wedding??? Thought about it and…no!
that is a bi-achy way to be. It sounded to me like she was saying hers won’t be as nice as yours, only saying it in an insulting way to make herself feel better.
It’s bulls*it, either way. I mean, snarky.
Without hearing the tone, and knowing her, it is hard to tell if it was meant as rude or not. Looking at the detail shots from your wedding, it looks like there were birds incorporated into different things - cake, candy bags, etc. - maybe she was just trying to reassure you that she wasn’t copying yours?
Some people get really protective about their wedding being unique - I had a friend that I had to constantly promise I wasn’t copying, which was ironic because in the end she copied several things from my wedding.
Your wedding was gorgeous! Don’t let the one comment get to you!
Oh how I love those comments that are just enough to get under your skin and drive you crazy! Why do people say crap like this?? If I am going to say something snarky it will be very direct…otherwise what is the point?!
Maybe she meant that her wedding wasn’t going to be trendy….birds are sort of trendy these days. I would know, my wedding is covered in them. And I love them and think they are adorable, as I am sure they were in your wedding too, Mrs. Strawberry.
But fat chance she will have in making her wedding not look trendy…most everything all of us like these days is trendy in some regard insofar as what is “in” enough to be available in stores or to be featured in magazines is trendy. That comment was so not cool, but you just watch her eat her words when her wedding does roll around!
Without knowing her, I will still guess that she meant it as a subtle jab. I don’t know why as females we always feel the need to one up each other!
Ahaha, yes, it’s easy to take offense to that kind of thing. I can say from having looked at your wedding photos that is was most certainly NOT tacky.
I kind of got up in arms back when Mrs. Cookie blogged about “cheesy” readings she didn’t want to have read at her wedding - and listed the sonnet that was read at MY wedding.
It’s all so personal - one person’s idea of perfection is another’s idea of cheesy or tacky or what-have-you.
Punch her.
btw - I loved the birds in your wedding.
One of my bridesmaids would say things like that about every decision I made. When I finally found ‘the dress’ she made a comment on how HER dress would be nothing like MY dress, complete with eye-rolling! She even commented on the desired size of our guest list, SHE won’t have 125 guests at HER wedding. (side note: she isn’t even engaged or dating anyone!!!!) Needless to say after taking a lot of this abuse and of course other underlying reasons, she is no longer a bridesmaid! I agree with Jen (comment #9), bring her a bird themed present!
I had a BM in my wedding who’s wedding was 6 weeks before ours and I too was a BM in her wedding. She was constantly comparing vendors, colors, themes, etc. There were many times I could have punched her square in the nose, but then I realized she would look funny in my pictures on my wedding day. ha ha kidding!! Just have to shake it off. No two weddings are alike! It’s all about your personality and style.
I agree — bring her a bird themed gift. ha ha!!
Yes we have heard a few comments that made us do a double take…
In your case maybe she meant that she didn’t have what she precieved your budget to be.. maybe she knows she can’t pull off the stylish event you did… maybe shes knows her ideas are TACKY and she just wishes she could have a bird theme!!
I do see birthday, wedding and xmas cards and gifts in the future going to her house with a certain BIRD THEME!!
she’s just jealous. whatta jerk.
although you could take it that she is not nervous, because her wedding will be boring and uninspired without all of your special touches.
Rude girl! Punch - punch - punch!
She probably drew inspiration from your wedding and was scared that you’d think they copied it (which they probably ARE doing).
My “friend” told me that I would regret NOT having friends as bridesmaids, not having a “traditional wedding” and “trying to cut corners by having under 200 people.”
Then she said that I’d be sad wearing the dress I’d already purchased because “you need something more extravagant for your wedding.”
Oh, so this Vera Wang isn’t to your liking?! So sorry. I’ll go get a sparkly, glittery, beaded dress to make you happy. Punch.
soo…is she under the impression that birds are required at weddings?
but i would have been mad at this too. don’t worry, your reaction is right in line with what i would have reacted.
I think some people just don’t think before they speak. I love the bird theme. This type of situation is when my Ally-McBeal syndrome kicks in and I visualize myself punching her repetitively in the face. Did I just say that?
Some people just don’t like birds. My roommate has an abiding fear of them and thinks they are all dirty and out to ger her. I think she was tortured by the Alfred Hitchcock movie when she was young. Maybe this bride had experienced the same thing?
maybe she was doing the my-wedding-is-going-to-be-different-than-everyone-else’s thing because that is what everyone seems to be striving for these days, to be different for the sake of being different. But honestly, she could have phrased it without making you feel like a moron.
OMG what a rude petty person!~
don’t worry, I’m kinda violent like that too.
what a rude thing to say–but probably without meaning
oh well. your wedding was amazing. AMAZING.
Wow, I haven’t seen your posts in forever! About that girl I am violent like you so you should have socked that B, what a rude comment! Let’s see how HER boring wedding turns out.
“nothing like your wedding” huh?
so i guess it will be uncreative and non-cohesive. sounds like blast, hope i get an invite…
[barf]
omg oh no she didn’t *rolling neck* i like birds. i guess theirs going to be boring. yah i think that’s what she meant.
and how did i react… sometimes i get confuse people tell me they love my details.. then i get some that are like “you want me to help you” them: “no it’s ok”. so i don’t know if i should take it personal.. however if they don’t say anything straight up… i’m not going to.
for the record, birds are so awesome and your little birdy touches were TO DIE FOR!!! I was jealous of your wedding
MRS STRAWBERRY! COME BACK!
During my engagement my (now) SIL kept saying things like “I’m not going to do that for my wedding” or similar things (including pointing out that her wedding was going to be SO different than mine – when she wasn’t even engaged yet!). More than once she’d offer to do something and then say that it was “practice for her wedding.”
I wanted to say to her that NO. MY wedding is NOT practice for HERS. It’s MY wedding. I don’t care that she wouldn’t have or do XYZ. I don’t care what she would do at HER wedding (and BTW she’s not even engaged yet…so it was a bit premature).
Obviously I never said any of that…
Now that she’s engaged she has asked me for help on several things and it’s so hard for me not to say that I wouldn’t know what advice to give since she made it clear that her wedding was going to be nothing like mine.
er…sorry about the rant. I meant to just say that I can empathize…
And your bird theme — it’s yours. Who cares if someone else doesn’t like it. The thing that matters is that YOU like it. (and I think birds are an awesome theme.)
Whatever! She wishes her wedding could be as cute as yours.
And birds are so cute, (I’m a biased canary owner) she must be nuts.
Mrs. Strawberry, your wedding was one of my favourites ever on weddingbee. I’ll totally punch her in the nose for you.
And I whatever the sentiment that you ought to find her a shabby-chic bird-themed gift. Wedding gift. Yeah, buddy.
I can relate. My now sister-in-law would make rude comments all the time while we were both planning our weddings. We had completely different tastes and she would give her opinion (”That’s disgusting.” or “That sucks.”) on things before I could even comment. In the end, our wedding was beautiful and she loved hers. Maybe I didn’t love her taste but my mother taught me that it if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. I learned patience from my time spent with her.
Your wedding was fabulous! Maybe it’s passive aggressive, but I’d give them a bird-themed wedding gift.
Forget her! How rude. And I loved your wedding! I even gave pictures of your wish tree cards to the lady doing our stationary to copy but they didn’t turn out nearly as nice as yours were! And besides, all that matters is what you think.
As for comments catching you off guard, at BIL Pumpkin’s wedding about 4 months after ours FIL Pumpkin was talking to me about how the day was going to go and made some comment about their not planning properly and said, you know, it’s not going to be like YOUR wedding”. Coming from a crusty farmer who wouldn’t know a thing about weddings that was about the best compliment that I could have ever received. I was shocked that he’d paid that much attention!
And, for the record, BIL Pumpkin’s wedding was lovely so I really don’t know what he was talking about… but I’ll take the compliment anyway
i LIVED for your wedding post recaps- it was amazing.
Beautiful, classic and still modern, very romantic and seemed really personalized.
i may be biased since i have a bird theme and all, but i thought your wedding was absolutely lovely and one of my top 3 faves in weddingbee history! it’s so great to see you on here again!
1) i’m one of those crazy bee-otches who would offend someone by saying something like this unintentionally. what i woulda meant was “oh man my wedding is nothing like yours, all amazing with all the cool birds and stuff. pls don’t show up to mine expecting it to be that great (and get disappointed)!” - and for the accidental crime i could have committed, i am soo sorry.
2) you so tease me with these “guest appearances” of yours man! i’m not complaining tho coz i’ll take all the strawberry i can get but you always catch me off guard when i just put away that foam finger!
3) if #2 sounds anything like the possible offense i coulda woulda made in 1), please know that i mean no harm and the foam finger is most definitely of the #1 fan kind!
Biatch!!! Holy INSECURE Batman!
Mrs. Strawberry, your wedding is by far my WeddingBee favorite. I’ve listened whole-heartedly to all of your advice and tips! I have to ask you, did you end up purchasing the fabulous BCBG dress? I am in serious love with that dress! I saw that you didn’t wear it to the rehearsal (you looked adorbale though!) but did you end up getting it for anything else?
I MISS YOU, MRS. STRAWBERRY!!!
Yay I’m so excited to see Mrs. Strawberry!!! Sorry for the ‘mishap’… We had a wooden bird cake topper, and our best man designed our wedding invitations to include the same dutch birds. He and my husband had lots of fun joking about how funny it would be to have birds everywhere at the reception, and then find out that our guests have a severe fear of birds and/or feathers - I was certain (as a joke) that our best man would show us an invitation design with a large bird poop graphic in one of the folded layers… he didn’t, but if he had I probably would have laughed.
your wedding was shabby chic at it’s very best, I got a real sense of your dynamic personality by watching you plan your wedding, and it came out way better than I had envisioned it… forget about ‘grumpy-bride’
OMG. Love the idea of giving her a bird themed gift. I don’t know if I have the balls to do that though.
Greentea–Love the foam finger. All about it.
Anna–I do still have the bcbg dress. I still have it. Never worn. I’m thinking of selling it.
Mrs. Strawberry, Seattle
Age and Occupation: 25, Radio DJ, Advertising Sales, Day of Wedding Coordinator
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Engineer
Engagement Date: 07/04/2006
Wedding Date: September 1, 2007
Venue: Lake Union Cafe, Seattle
About Me: I'm a Navy brat that has lived all over the world. I love reality shows that are in poor taste, going to new restaurants, and trying to be crafty. Emphasis on trying!
Well, that was definitely rude of them! I would have reacted just the way you did, or… maybe even worse!…