Keeping It in Perspective
October 7th, 2008 @ 2:15 pm by Mrs. Pinot Noir
The final weeks of planning have been a little overwhelming. Even when you do as much as you can in advance, there will always be last minute issues like missing kilts and a rainy weather forecast. It is so easy to freak out over things you cannot control, and obsess over the things that are going wrong. It is important to remember the important things—marriage, family and love.
I awoke on Saturday morning to find a wonderful email from my friend J who lives in Los Angeles. She has been following my blog and saw that it had been a difficult week. Her words were so comforting and really helped me put it in perspective. She got married in June and could relate to my situation. I asked her if I could share her words of wisdom and she was happy to oblige. Without further ado…
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Hey Babe!
I’m seeing on your blog that you are encountering all sorts of stressors and I thought I’d send you an email pep talk.
Take a deep breath!
One more.
Alright, do that every once in a while, and then remind yourself that in a month, you’ll be back to your same old schedule, living in your same old apartment, wearing your same old clothes, hanging out with your same old friends, reading the same old web pages, kissing your same old Mr. PN.
You’ll have fun and funny memories of your wedding because you handled these problems GRACEFULLY and with the knowledge that while your wedding was incredibly important and you wanted it to be beautiful and wonderful, you remembered that it is these problems that will make those memories wonderful. Perfection is boring. Do your very best to roll with the punches, not have panic attacks because of them. Grace, grace.
This may sound easier said than done, but you can do it. You are a strong, sensible woman and you can use your mind to stay calm. For perspective: our DJ backed out three weeks before, Seattle was in the 50s and raining the week before (in JUNE!?), I forgot to order plates for the reception and the owners of the farm used a chainsaw to cut a door in the barn DURING THE RECEPTION. And those are the ones I can think of off the top of my head. What an AMAZING wedding and reception we had. If we hadn’t had any problems, I don’t know if I would be so proud of how it all turned out.
I know hindsight makes it easier to appreciate these things, but just know that you’ll be fine. Real problems are cancer, hurricanes, car accidents, and war. Your wedding will be wonderful, kilt or not, warm or wet. We love you and can’t wait to witness your marriage. And the calmer you are in preparation for that, the most wonderful part of it all is that the more incredible it will be. Be calm for that moment. It is amazing.
Take another deep breath. You will be fine.
I love you.
J
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I really appreciate these words of wisdom and will incorporate them into our own planning process.
How have your friends and family helped you keep things in perspective?
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7 Responses to “Keeping It in Perspective”
Uh, can we hear more about how the reception had a new door and a CHAINSAW? THAT sounds like a great wedding story!
Oh, I would LOVE to tell! (do you mind Ms. PN?). An older guest was using a walker and couldn’t access the restrooms because of the steps between them and the barn. I didn’t know any of what was going on until I heard the chainsaw start up. Turns out the owners of the barn were willing to cut a door in the barn right then to open up the ramp to the restrooms. I was so impressed. They were wonderful wonderful people. The point is, when things go awry, it is a stressful moment, and the quality of your memories depend on how you handle it- with a cry or with a laugh. And memories of laughter are ALWAYS better.
What a great and encouraging letter 
Your big sis rocks, but I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that!
That is a wonderful letter! I should probably print it so I can refer back to it next year.
[...] a relaxing weekend and super supportive email from my friend J, I made peace with the fact that Mr. PN might not have a kilt and that I can’t control the [...]
Mrs. Pinot Noir, New York/Napa Valley
Age and Occupation: 24, Health Educator
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 31, Market Researcher
Engagement Date: November 10, 2007
Wedding Date: October, 2008
Blogging Since: June 25, 2008
Venue: Auberge du Soleil
About Me: I am a Minnesota raised, NYC transplant planning a destination wedding in Napa. I'm balancing my love for the environment and my hubby-to-be's love for tradition to create our "green wedding in disguise." Our wedding will include local food and wine, antique touches and lots of love and laughter. When wedding planning isn't taking up my free time (and money) I love to read, cook, workout, watch baseball and travel! Follow along in my adventure as I attempt to plan an eco-friendly and socially responsible wedding (with eco-oblivious Mr. Pinot Noir).
My MOH and bridesmaids were a godsend. When I would start to worry, they would put it into perspective. Also, they took away my cell phone mid day and started screening my calls. Brilliant idea on their part!