Wedding Blog
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Back in November 2007, we signed the contract for our venue. At that time, gas was inching toward $3 a gallon, and the Feds were still in recession denial. But how could we predict that in the next eleven months the global economy would go from bad to worse? Although, Mr. Cookie and I have yet to feel the pinch of the credit crisis (fingers-crossed), the economic downturn had a hand in slicing and dicing our guest list.
Mr. Cookie and I wanted an intimate wedding – our maximum limit was 100 but expecting no less then 75. I thought with over a 150 invitees, and figuring in an already 40% rejection because for most of our guests this would be a destination wedding, I was almost positive our guest count would no be less than 75. Boy was I mistaken.
As the RSVPs started rolling in around mid-July, we received a steady stream of “declines with regret.” At first Mr. Cookie and I tried to make light of the situation –especially since the declines were from relatives we hadn’t seen in years. However, when some of our “unless the economy was in a crisis, wouldn’t miss your wedding for the world” guests started to decline I knew it was something more than people not liking us or thinking we smelled bad.
My assumption about the economy playing a part in our guest count was confirmed when I called our florist. When I gave her a centerpiece count that was well below my estimated number she simply said, “Don’t’ worry. You are not the only bride that is experiencing a decline in her guest count.”
At first Mr. Cookie and I were devastated not only emotionally, but because of the monetary impact. Our venue, Ten Mile Station, has a food and beverage minimum – which included set-up, wait staff, linens, china, tables, chairs, etc. With 75-100 guest, the price of the minimum for the whole shebang was not cheap, but wasn’t expensive either. Around the middle of August with our guest list hovering around 55, we had to beef up our meal to four courses to even touch our minimum. To this day, I am still struggling with the per person cost, because as a nonprofit event planner, I know we could have done our wedding for so much cheaper.
I was talking to my MOH one day about our guest count, and she put it into perspective, “With the majority of your guests being from out-of-town, the average American vacation time being two weeks, high gas, airline, and food prices, how can we ask those that our struggling to come to a wedding?” And she was right, how could I ask those that are trying to make ends meet spend an ever depleting disposable income and vacation time on attending our wedding? It seemed selfish.
In the end, we got our very intimate wedding with a final guest count of 63. To be honest, that number was perfect for us. The love that surrounded us on our wedding day was infectious, and during the ceremony there wasn’t a dry eye among the congregation. Between the pig roast, wedding, and brunch, we got to really talk to and spend quality time with all our guests and especially those who had traveled from afar to witness our nuptials. No matter if our guest count was lower than I expected, our wedding was still magical.
How has the economy impacted your wedding? Is/was your guest count lower than expected?
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Share this post: The Economic Downturn of Our Guest List
I don’t know about our guest count as our wedding is in August and we haven’t even thought about Save the Dates yet, but I do know that it is effecting whether we can attend other weddings. We have friends who both live on the westcoast but are getting married in a small town in North Carolina and I’m afraid we may not be able to go to their wedding. The flight itself would take the whole day and my fiance would only be able to take one day off for the trip. We’d fly Friday, attend the wedding Saturday and the leave Sunday. It would cost us over $1000 for the weekend. I’m not sure we can justify the expense as were tightening our belts to make sure we have enough for our own wedding.
We had almost 80 less than our original estimates (made in summer 2007) of 250. Because most of our extended friends and families live far away (many overseas), I’m positive that the economy had a huge impact.
Oof, we’re hoping for the exact same number as you were for our semi-destination wedding, and so far have sent out Save the Dates to 115, thinking that was covering our bases.
I really appreciated this post, especially in regards to the food & bev minimum that doesn’t change with your guest count. I’ll definitely be paying attention to the guest count between now and the wedding!
We had the exact same problem. We invited 171, expected 100-125, adn have 80 coming.
We estimated 300+ and are probably coming in around 200 for the same reasons. Either way it’s huge but still….it’s significantly fewer than we expected.
We estimated 300+ and are probably coming in around 200 for the same reasons. Either way it’s huge but still….it’s significantly fewer than we expected. I, too, would have booked a smaller venue had I known.
We’re realistic on how many people will be attending our wedding. We’re getting married near my hometown which is about 200 miles north from where my fiance and his family live, and roughly 2,000 miles away from where my mother’s side of the family lives. We know some of the people will make the trip, but it’s just not realistic for everyone.
We’re estimating about 50 people. Luckily our venue is a historic mansion, so if we do end up with more, we’re fine, and if we have less, the space won’t look empty. Luckily the idea of a very intimate wedding has always appealed to me since I’m not really a fan of being the center of attention. 
We invited 274 and originally guaranteed 200. Luckily our venue only requires 175 for a Saturday night as I don’t think we are going to have even 200. For us it might be different. We had a lot of “and guest” which seemed to decline the guest but we will have almost a 35% decline rate. I do think times are affecting going to weddings though.
Great post…our wedding is next week (9 days!) and we have less guests confirmed than we expected. I believe a lot of it has to do with the economy.
Thank you for this entry. I was starting to get really self-conscious about our getting-smaller-by-the-day count.
We had our destination wedding (about 6- 9 driving hours away from the majority of our guest list) last Saturday, October 4.
We had originally invited around 125 and had confirmed RSVPs for 59 guests (confirmed as of late September). I was SHOCKED last week when my phone kept ringing and it was more and more guests declining. I couldn’t believe that it was less than a week before the wedding and we had between 10-15 call and say they weren’t coming. We had already paid for everything for 59 guests, and got stuck footing the bill for this number of guests (per our contracts). My recommendation to those with destination weddings is to follow your gut and perhaps assume 5% less than your confirmed RSVPs. The caterer will always be happy to charge you more, but you can’t get your money back if people back out at the last minute.
We invited 150 and had 89 attend last month. It was heartbreaking and I’m sure the economy had a lot to do with it.
Thanks for the post Mrs. Cookie. Your wedding sounded intimate & so personal, glad it all worked out
Our wedding is next march, but our save the dates go out at the end of the month, and i’m already anticipating many early declines. The economy hit our bridal party…my oldest friend and bridesmaid called me 2 weeks ago saying that she & her daughter (our flower girl) couldn’t attend, due to finances. As you can imagine, I was very sad and more than a tad angry…it’s 6 months away and she refused to look at options…i’ve not required the bridesmaids to do anything other then get a pink or peach dress (they are not matchy matchy).
Ultimately I think most of our guests will be local and we’ll have about 75 people (we’ve guesstimated up to 100…but are praying it’s not!).
I’m very nervous and curious to see how ours turns out. As of the moment, we’re inviting 83 more people than our cost allows for at the venue. But, like you, half of our guests are from out of town and I fear the economic situation will really interfere with their ability to come. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see, and prepare for a smaller wedding. I feel ya, Cookie.
my wedding will be a semi-destination wedding for most of our guests, while our invites have yet to go out, i’m totally worried the rsvps will be low. the good news though, smaller numbers bring an intimate feeling
I am okay with declines, it will only mean we will a) get a more intimate affair, people that truly want to be there no matter what and 2) we will be “forced” to upgrade to meet our minimum fees so better meal, bar, cake.
We had the same problem for our Aug. 30th wedding. We invited well over 215+ and ended up with 125 (but that’s after LOTS of last minute invites). Only 3 of my husband’s relatives showed up (and that includes my MIL and BIL!) We had to meet the venue minimum and have it be worth it still (we had a 10 piece band with a huge dance floor). All in all, the economy definitely affected the guests we invited and I’m sure the gifts (or lack of gifts) we received. (Not that I was counting on the gift portion). But I’m grateful for everyone who still showed up and supported us. I knew the money was already spent and it was important to me to have everyone forget their financial problems and have a good time.
I can’t say the ecomony had anything to do with our loss of guests. Frankly, some just decided to go somewhere “better” than our wedding. Ouch. Including children, we invited 165 expecting 130 and perhaps a few last-minutes friends of parents. The wedding is next weekend and we’re at 115. We upgraded to the next menu and added an appetizer and lemonade to meet our minimum for food and beverages. I definitely wish I could have seen this coming, we could have gone smaller and pick another venue or I could have invited a handful of B-list folks.
Still looking forward to a wonderful day!
I just have to say that I love it when there is group picture of bridal party plus guests…I love it!!!!
We invited 200+ and had 130 attend, although we knew beforehand that many invitees would not be be able to attend since they live far away & overseas. Declines did not bother me at all, what DID bother me were the people that did not bother to RSVP, or even worse, those that RSVP’d “yes” and then did not show up (and didn’t even bother to let us know they wouldn’t be coming), ugh! So rude. Was anyone else upset about this?
this post scares me. we’ve decided on a destination wedding, but now i’m not so sure. i want everyone to be able to come to the wedding but is it selfish of me to ask? i feel bad now that i’m expecting or at least hoping family and close friends to spend their vacation time with us. hmm.. what should i do?!
sigh… gee i’ll have to invite about everyone i know to meet our minimun at the decline rate that seems to “normal” on this post.
we just had our wedding with a final guest count of about 198 - including us - this weekend. i would not have changed it for the world, because it a was fantastic wedding. BUT we did invite 270 and had to guarantee 225. More than 65 people declined and about the remaining 7 didn’t come last minute. because our number was on the larger side, we still felt like it was a pretty big wedding, and we were satisfied with it. still, though, that wasn’t what we estimated, and i’m pretty sure it was due to the economy and/or the costs of travel.
@Nick’s Chick:
I feel your pain at people not making good on “yes” RSVPs. For one particularly important event for my family, we had a third of our 300+ friends-and-family guest list decline, a third respond “yes” and a third not RSVP (!). What shocked me more was that a THIRD of our “yes” list didn’t show, and made no apologies. Needless to say, some people will no longer be invited to the wedding. =(
Has anyone read ‘Miss Manners on Painfully Proper Weddings’? She mentions one wedding where something like 35 guests showed out of about 200 “yes” RSVPs. Apparently the husbands and children decided not to come at the last minute. If you are that bride, I cried for you….
I’m expecting some of this for my wedding in Colombia. First, we encountered the issue of “why would we ever consider going to Colombia?” But now, I’m looking beyond the guests who fear for their safety, and I worry that many of those who said they would come won’t be able to due to costs. My invitations haven’t gone out yet but I have a feeling I’ll face a similar situation for those coming from the U.S.
I’m expecting some of this for my wedding in Colombia. First, we encountered the issue of “why would we ever consider going to Colombia?” But now, I’m looking beyond the guests who fear for their safety, and I worry that many of those who said they would come won’t be able to due to costs. My invitations haven’t gone out yet but I have a feeling I’ll face a similar situation for those coming from the U.S.
Yep, I’m in this situation too. We are getting married next weekend (Oct 18th) and we are having a big wedding - I have lots of family. We invited 420 and expected around 275-300 to show up. Our final RSVP attendance count was 245. So we have about 30-50 less people that we thought we would have. I’d say about 40% of our guest list is more than an hour drive to our wedding, so that does have an impact. However, this is far from a destination wedding…it’s my small hometown in NE Ohio. Quite a few people are driving anywhere from 2-4 hours to be at our wedding, and a lot of those people are staying at the hotel that night, and considering gas prices (even though they’re dropping). I’m actually happy we got close to 250 - which was our original committment to the caterer. But yes, I definitley think this crisis with the economy impacted our guests willingness to come to the wedding. Sad - but true.
My guest count is also taking a hit. The wedding is in 3 weeks and all the maybes are quickly turning into no’s. We invited 131, expected 100, and are getting about 75. Oh well, on the plus side we will have the more intimate affair that we wanted.
Oh, and one more thing….
I read TONS of things that said the “typical” attendance rate for a wedding was around 75%, even 80%. So if you invited 200 people, you should “typically” expect around 150 to show. I felt that the 75% attendance rate sounded about right, and I felt we would be in that percentage for our wedding.
BOY - was I wrong! We ended up with a 58% attendance rate. MUCH lower than the “typical”.
Something for you upcoming brides to keep in mind. Yes, every wedding is different and you could have 90% show up. But I would say that the talked about 75% attendance rate is not so accurate these days. A friend of mine who got married this Spring said the same thing - she also had a 58% attendance rate.
Something to keep in mind…
Its funny that everyone seems like they are complaining that a lot of their guests declined. (I totally agree though - its VERY rude to reply “yes” and then not show without an explanation.) My fiance and I are just putting together our guest list. We are hoping for between 100-130 attendance (due to budget reasons) and our list is slowly getting larger and larger everytime I turn around. I’m hoping that we don’t end up with only 50 people who show up, but I’d rather have someone decline than not invite them at all!
@JanieLeigh: I don’t think hoping they come is selfish in the least bit. With the economic downturn, I don’t think brides should expect people who are in financial crisis, especially when you factor in travel expenses, lodging, and gift, to attend a destination wedding.
Thank you for posting this blog. We are getting married next August in Central America (where I’m originally from), and I’m beginning to think that we may end up having a smaller party than planned. So far we’re inviting 243 people, the majority of them from different countries. We are hoping to have about 150 guests since we actually don’t want to have a HUGE wedding. However, I’m beginning to wonder if we’ll even get that many. It’s very scary to plan a wedding at this time since who knows where we’ll be a year from now. Parts of me actually feel guilty for making people travel and spend money to come to our wedding.
Mrs. Cookie, I love your wedding! It seemed to be so intimate and really beautiful. I really think these are the best kind, having been to so many weddings myself. We are planning a semi-destination wedding and I have often wondered how many people will actually make the trip? I secretly want about 80 even though we are inviting 120. It will be interesting to see if the economy will affect our wedding too. This is definitely something everyone should consider. Thanks for the post!
yep. we had always planned for a small wedding - our venue max was 60, so were aiming for about 55. final guest count was 43, which was the perfect wedding for us. we had one cancellation a few days prior, so ended up paying for 45, but it all worked out in the end.
for the next year or so, if not more, we can probably expect the downward trend to continue. it is expensive to travel anywhere - not only plane tickets or gas money, but rental cars, hotel and meals, not to mention time off of work. in uncertain economic times, taking too much time away could be problematic for some people. the best advice i can give is to keep your chin up, be as gracious as possible and not take it personally. build in some flexibility to your estimates whenever possible and pay attention to contract terms. as someone else mentioned, it’s always easier to add to a contract than take away.
[...] the guest list was a lot smaller than I expected, we really enjoyed the intimacy of our wedding. In lieu of a receiving line we [...]
We have received about half of our RSVPs but I am not predicting an ACCEPTANCE rate of about 40%. I expected a high decline rate due to much of my family being out of town but had no idea how many people would ultimately decline. I believe many people who would’ve attended last year and are actually still fine financially, are cautious of spending the money to travel because they are unsure how the next few years are going to be.
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Mrs. Cookie, Denver
Age and Occupation: 25, Nonprofit Fundraiser/Theatre Designer
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Financial Analyst
Engagement Date: September 2007
Wedding Date: September 2008
Blogging Since: May 8, 2008
Venue: Ten Mile Station
About Me: With a degree in Theatre I never realized that planning a wedding was a lot like Theatre Management, until I started planning my own. I am a coffee addict, especially Starbucks' Grande Mochas, yummy! I love to cook (especially chocolate chip cookies for my honey), travel to exotic places, and be creative. As a couple, Mr. Cookie and I are extremely practical, down to earth, and children at heart. We live in a cozy abode with our adorable Pomeranian, and love to play board games and watch movies into the evening.
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