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If you remember from a previous post, Mr. Dumpling is Catholic, and I am in the process of converting. One of the first things I asked our marriage coordinator at the church was about the difference between a Catholic wedding ceremony and, say, a Baptist or Methodist wedding ceremony. Being from the South, those were the sorts of weddings I attended. You know the ones—20 minutes max, I do, me too, kiss the bride. I now present…
Anyway, we decided that we wanted full Mass at our wedding. I was so shocked to find out that full Mass was an HOUR LONG. (*must not lock knees and pass out*)
 I’ve only attended one wedding at a Catholic church before, and honestly, I did not pay attention. I did some searching around on the Internet and on our Catholic Weddingbee boards and found out a few things. If you’re Catholic and think I’ve missed something, please speak up. I’m new and excited and I would love some input!
The Order of Mass The Mass is divided into five parts: gathering and entrance rite, Liturgy of the Word, marriage rite, Liturgy of the Eucharist, and concluding rite. The service should last a bit over an hour.
The gathering and entrance rite is a procession of the celebrant priest and deacon, the attendants, and the bride and groom to the altar. The priest greets the community and blesses them. There may be a penitential rite, which consists of a communal prayer for mercy and forgiveness, followed by a prayer or song called the Gloria.
The Liturgy of the Word consists of three readings from the Bible, chosen by the couple, all of which will probably have something to do with marriage. Friends and family members will be chosen to read the Scripture. First will be a reading from the Hebrew Bible or Old Testament; then a psalm, either read from the Book of Psalms, or a song based on one; then a reading from the New Testament. There will also be a reading from one of the four Gospels, preceded by a special Alleluia prayer or song called the Gospel Acclamation. (Christians who are able to do so should remain standing during the reading from the Gospel.) After the Gospel, the officiant will give a short homily reflecting on the marriage that is about to take place.
The marriage rite follows. The familiar exchange of vows and of rings will take place first, sealing the marriage. (This may seem anticlimactic to those who are used to seeing this part happen at the very end.) After the rings are exchanged, the Mass continues. Prayers for the newlyweds, for the community, and for various groups of people will be offered up.
The Liturgy of the Eucharist is when Communion is offered to the congregation. Bread and wine will be blessed and prepared to become the Eucharistic meal. We will pray the Lord’s Prayer together, then spend a few moments to offer one another a sign of peace in the form of a handshake or hug. Then the bread and wine will be distributed.
The concluding rite consists of a blessing of the community and of the newlyweds, a dismissal, and a recessional song. Guests should wait until the wedding party and priest has left before leaving their seats to exit the church.
Since a good number of our guests are not Catholic, we will also be printing a shortened version of this in the programs. That way, everyone knows when to sit, stand, kneel, stand, sing, shake hands, etc.
OK Catholic brides, I need your help. Is there anything I have left out? Any words of advice?
Catholic weddings are definitely long. We attended one last month and one of the groomsmen locked his knees and fainted in the middle of the ceremony! He had 9 stitches in his head, but made it back for the cake 
They are truly moving ceremonies, though, if you follow along and understand the meaning – good idea to explain it in your programs!
Oh yes, they are long. I stood up in a Catholic wedding a few years ago… luckily we were able to sit down for part of the mass.
I’m a Catholic bride as well. Both of us are cradle Catholics and I think you found out more information than I know! This list is really helpful BTW! I do think you included everything.
I’ve been to a lot of Catholic weddings and even though they are 1 hr or so, I think they go by pretty fast. At all of the Catholic weddings I’ve been to, the couple kneels at the front of the aisle on a special kneeler for almost the entire service. I would see if you church does this or if you sit by the altar and face the congregation.
When we asked our priest about a full mass and the shorter one, he said that if both people are Catholic they do the full mass. The wedding ceremony will follow the same outline as a regular Sunday mass, but with the Marriage Rite added in.
I would suggest you make sure you eat before the service and drink plenty of water! Kneeling for that long can be dangerous, especially in your dress! I would make sure that you can kneel ok in your dress during one of your fittings!
Sorry that was so long!
We had a full Catholic mass and it was 40 minutes, so I think it depends on the priest.
Hahaha…. I grew up Catholic, and I didn’t know until I was a teenager that weddings were ever LESS than an hour! I just figured they were all that long!
An hour is probably the maximum length of time, 40-50 minutes is more usual, especially if you don’t have a lot of Catholic guests to receive Communion. The couple usually either sits in their own chairs on the altar or they kneel facing the altar for the majority of the Mass, but the wedding party will have a front pew reserved for them where they will be seated except during the exchange of vows/rings. So not to worry. I think that’s a good idea to include a description of the parts of Mass so people can follow along.
We had a full Catholic mass. We weren’t facing the clock (or the congregation) for most of the mass and I started getting nervous that it was going too fast and would throw off the time frame I had set up. Until I turned and saw that we were in fact on time and did get finished just under an hour, probably around 45 min.
The thing that I was surprised about, and I think is standard for Catholic weddings, is you get to have your “wedding kiss” moment right before the priest tells everyone to give a sign of peace.
I made a full program to explain some of the Catholic rituals (what to do during Communion, etc. )to our guests since many of them were not Catholic. If you have any questions please feel free to email me.
And best wishes to you and the Mr. !
The length depends a lot on how many people are at the wedding and how long communion takes. Also, how long the homily and songs are. I’ve been to mostly Catholic weddings and at the ones I’ve been the bride and groom and wedding party sit during most of it, just like the rest of the guests (except the bride and groom are up front). The bridal party only stood up while the couple was saying their vows. In one wedding, only the MOH went up front, the rest of us all stayed in our pews.
My Catholic wedding was last month and the whole ceremony was maybe 40 minutes max because it does depend on the priest. It also depends on your song selections (because you don’t have to have songs for everything) and what readings you select. Also, if you priest likes to talk a lot good luck. I had been to other weddings at my church that were longer, like an hour or more. It was weird, though, for mine we were kneeling for the majority of it. At other weddings I’ve been to at my church they had the bride and groom side on the side of the alter for part of the ceremony so either way you don’t have to stand the whole time.
Miss Dumpling — I actually made a pretty detailed program for our wedding (full mass) that included the readings, music, and a description of what the rite of marriage means to Catholics so that everyone could feel involved and our non-Catholic attendees would understand. Let me know if you would like to see a copy of it.
If the majority of your guests are not Catholic I’d reconsider the full mass. Communion time gets a bit long and confusing for those who are not.
Also, I don’t intend to sound snarky (typing never fully expresses intent), but I’d somehow let your guests know that it is usually frowned upon for a non-Catholic to receive Eucharist in a Catholic ceremony. It may depend on Churches, but in the community I grew up in it was unthinkable for anyone from another religion to get Eucharist. They’d have to get up, step aside to allow those receiving Eucharist to go ahead, sit down, and get up again for the same individuals to return. (I always found this tedious as I am expected – as a Catholic – to do the same when I am attending service at another religion’s church/temple). It gets to be a strained process.
@ amaryliss: Another option is for non-Catholic guests to go up for communion like the rest of the guests, but cross their arms in front of their chest and the person giving communion with give them a blessing. There’s a little less of the stepping over each other in pews this way The priest has announced it at most weddings I’ve been to, which I like because I feel like it is more a person of authority notifying the rest of the guests.
If you’re looking for a good place to find the most common Catholic readings for weddings (for the Old Testament, New Testament & Homily readings you will need to select), someone at your church should be able to give you a book called “Together for Life” which has all that information.
These links were also helpful to me:
http://catholicweddinghelp.com/topics/readings-rite.htm
http://genesis-ministry.org/downloads/CatholicWeddingLiturgyReadings.pdf
I would just make sure that your program indicates to guests when they need to sit, stand, kneel, etc.
I know we’re all chiming here, but another word of advice. Your groomsmen and bridesmaids will want to sit down. This kind of ceremony focuses on the couple. So just ribbon off the front rows on either side, or even in a side sanctuary for your party to sit. No one is expected to stand for an hour except the priest. Some churches also provide you and your fiance a chair to sit down in during the homily. No worries the priest will go through all this with you and if it doesn’t feel right…then ask a question!!
And about the Eucharist just add a note in the program that if the participant is not catholic but wishes to receive a blessing to just walk up with everyone else and cross their arms over their chest. Then the priest gives them a special blessing instead of bread.
I am a Catholic bride! Yes they do last an hour – BUT you don’t have to stand for the whole thing. You get to sit down (and kneel) like everyone else. I would also recommend a detailed description of what is going on for your non-catholic guests. Congrats and welcome to Catholicism!
Make sure you ask about the kneeling thing, and practice kneeling in your dress gracefully!
Also, kneeling for a long time can be painful, so just be prepared.
I’ve usually seen the bridal party seated in the front row, except for the MOH and BM who act as the witnesses or whatever.
The Mass is so beautiful…I’m not Catholic, but I appreciate how much time and thought is put into the Mass instead of just rushing through a ceremony. But, it’s not for everyone…
Wow, thats fantastic. I’ve never heard it announced at a ceremony though. Maybe to be certain you could request the priest to do it? I’ve been to several with a bunch of Lutherans (I’m Catholic, my man’s Lutheran) and they get so confused quickly (and then I get harassed afterward for not telling them “how its done”). I hate to admit it, but it is kind of humorous to watch!
Oh, and the Lord’s prayer. This is definitely a complaint I get from them all the time: Catholics tend to pause prior to “For Thine is the Kingdom….” whereas they just keep going.
Believe me, with the group I’m getting into we are just going to do a Blessing a week after the ceremony – that way I can do a short service with no confusing bits for my future in laws to have difficulties (and material for future jokes later) with.
We had a full Catholic Mass, and even though its long, I enjoyed every minute of it. You see the wedding ceremony is the most important part of the day, and with an hour ceremony you (or I in this case) had plenty of time to be in it, enjoying it and reminding myself a couple of times…. this is your wedding day, live in this moment, its the best time of your life…
I grew up going to Catholic weddings and was shocked at my first non-Catholic wedding. Liek 15 minutes!? My full mass wedding was about 50 minutes and it went by sooo fast. About half of our guests weren’t Catholic, but even the most staunch athesists said they thought it was a beautiful ceremony. (Phew!)
Each church and priest is different and I’ve seen the bridal party stand the whole time or sit most of the time. Some brides and grooms sit at the altar, some kneel. We had our bridal party sitting in the front row and come up during our vows.
My advice is don’t go through the motions, but be really be present as each portion of the mass/ceremony happens.
Oh and the thing I never realized until our marriage prep is that the Sacrament of Marriage is the only Sacrament not performed by the priest, but by the couple. How cool is that?!
Mrs. Dumpling, Las Vegas Age and Occupation: 27, Finance Fiance's Age and Occupation: 34, Real Estate Engagement Date: March, 2008 Wedding Date: March, 2009 Blogging Since: August 26, 2008 Venue: Catholic church ceremony & golf course reception About Me: I grew up in the Deep South, and while most people say I have a thick southern accent, I tend to think it only comes out when I need to use it. Living in Las Vegas has definitely been an adventure and Mr. Dumpling and I are loving every minute of it! We are planning a traditional Catholic wedding ceremony and a reception with lots of DIY! We might even get Elvis to show up! I'm a HUGE Beatles fan, love The Office and can't wait to become a Mrs.!
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