Weddingbee Blog

And the winner is… Miss Dumpling!

“Thank you! Thank you, so much! I have a few people to thank for this award.
First of all, I want to thank you, Miss Joan, my ballet teacher when I was 6. I know you quit after my second class, but you knew bad moves when you saw them!
Second, thank you, little brother Dumpling, for always being my dance partner, even though you only did it to make fun of me. And last, but not least, thank you Mom and Dad Dumpling. Y’all have some crazy dance moves. Thanks for passing them along! (Not.)”

I’m not really looking forward to our first dance as husband and wife. I know it’s supposed to be sappy and sweet and the couple is supposed to choose a slow song and look into each other’s eyes… oy vey… I can’t even finish typing this sentence. I’m just downright nervous. I CAN’T DANCE TO SAVE MY LIFE. Unfortunately, Mr. Dumpling is a great dancer and he’s already planning our dancing debut.

He’s also very confident, unlike myself. I am seriously wondering how I’m going to walk down an aisle with 250 pairs of eyes on me, never mind dancing in front of them.

Think I’m being whiny right now? Think I’m making this up? I’m SO NOT. I’ve gathered some photographic evidence to show you just how ridiculous I look when I’m trying to dance, in case you don’t believe me.

Miss Dumpling, age 6, before Miss Joan quit teaching my dance class. I’m pretty sure I’m trying to do first position. Or 4th. I don’t know.

This is Mama Dumpling, dancing in a dance contest at her 30th high school reunion, right before she was eliminated for doing the “Spastic Waving Arms” dance. I inherited these moves.

When I was 9 years old, I must have watched the ending scene of Dirty Dancing at least twice a day. It was also the only part of the movie I was allowed to watch, and I always had to fast forward to “Nobody puts Baby in the corner.” (You can see it on the screen if you look closely!)

And then, I would make my little brother be my dance partner. We were totally Ross and Monica from Friends. Well, until he was cooler than me in junior high school and only danced with me to have something to make fun of me for. See below.

I was so nervous to go to the junior high dance because I was such a horrible dancer. This picture is of an actual dance move, which I practiced over and over again before my date’s mom came to pick me up. Little Brother Dumpling is totally making fun of me.

I only made the Dance Team because of my grades. That is a fact people, not a joke. Can you believe they let me participate in the kick line with those bent legs?

Fast forward to a few months ago at a wedding, where I got test out my dance moves one more time before our big day. I was off in my old world, dancing to a completely different song than everyone else. Look at the other bridesmaid—staring at me like I’m crazy!

Ahhh, the electric slide. Finally a dance I can sort of do. My feet look awkward and I’m on the wrong part, but I totally know this one!

At the end of the night, I let loose and just danced. This is my “white girl overbite” move. Can you handle all of the hotness in this picture?

And there you have it, kids. I’m a bad dancer, plain and simple. I’m not even going to attempt dance lessons because I’m sure it would be a waste of money. Hopefully I will be so happy and excited on our wedding day that I’ll temporarily forget how self-conscious I am and just let it rip on the dance floor.

Are you a good dancer or a bad dancer? Don’t be shy; I want to hear your tales of horror.  If you are a good dancer, how did you find your groove?