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I am tired. I am disheartened. I am frustrated. Lately I’m just totally over the wedding. Not the marriage, mind you, just this behemoth of a party. Have I ever told you that I don’t even like parties?! Well, I don’t. I don’t like being the center of attention and I really don’t care for large groups of people.
I want to write about something other than weddings (I’m capable, I promise!) I want to piddle away my free time doing something totally random and spontaneous as opposed to the current routine of crafting and planning until I pass out at night. I want to pursue new business ventures and plan for our lives after the wedding but it’s just too daunting and I’m just too tired. Oh, and such vanities as personal appearance? Well, I used to be somewhat fashionable (if I do say so myself). Now? I don’t even know who had shows at fashion week or what they featured and I haven’t purchased a single item of clothing in the last 6 months that wasn’t earmarked “wedding”.
I’m also tired of worrying. I worry about silly things like the linens and types of wine we will serve. I worry about more weighty issues like the effects of the economy on my family and the added pressures of our inflated wedding budget. I mean, here we are in the final countdown of arguably THE most important election of my short lifetime. Any other year I’d be mainlining caffeine for an all night CSPAN/CNBC split screen bender and spending every waking second consumed by poll stats and the shades of purple on our map. This time around I’ve been virtually sitting this one out. Instead I’m dividing my time between trivialities such as the virtues of ivory over white and the perfect letterpress bite. Who. Freaking. Cares.
Look, I know it’s not all bad. I’m incredibly blessed to even be sitting here whining about my situation. I feel fortunate that I am cognizant of these issues and have the ability to address them with 5 whole months left to go. I just wish there were 4 less months in the countdown and (at least) 4 more hours of daylight in every day.
I just want my life back. The thing is, will it be waiting for me when I return from the honeymoon?
Who has also felt this way? Feel free to leave some encouraging words for myself and others and let us know how you pushed past this wedding slump!
As someone else who is engaged…I feel your pain. I got engaged 9/21/08 and our wedding is 8/1/09. I’m exhausted already….partially because I tend to overschedule myself and this new task on my plate isn’t help, partially because everyone seems to keep pushing me to make decisions (ie our registry when we were engaged for 3 weeks).
We finished our most difficult task of dealing with priest meetings and pre cana…it was a very religious filled 2 weeks. I’m exhausted, the fiance is exhausted…we are trying to push each other to get back to the things we liked before this process started…and put the wedding stuff on the back burner. Don’t get me wrong…decisions will be made…but today is not the day to worry about what container the favors will be held in.
Give yourself a week off and get back to what you want to do. Its hard to ignore people’s questions and constant prodding..and while I’m sure the shades of ivory are really important to some people…they certainly aren’t for me and it seems like they aren’t to you either.
If I were you..and I’m doing this myself…”fire” yourself as a bride to be. Ignore it as part of your life for a week. You’ll probably feel a lot better about it and at least you’ll get to pay attention to some election coverage.
iran2day makes an excellent point. You have FIVE months. That’s ages! And we all know you’ve got tons done already, so you’re well ahead enough that you can 100% take off an entire week. Don’t do anything wedding-related, try to stop thinking, worrying about it. Just try be the person you were before, and do those things. You’ll come back feeling much more refreshed and happy!
Wedding hasn’t stopped my political obsession. Nobody comes between me and CSPAN… wedding included!
And you’ve done incredibly well. Breathe. Exhale. Relax.
I’m trying to get most of it done early since I know our engagement time will be less than a year (ring is pending). Thus I will just try to breeze thru it. Somewhat.
I agree with iran2day and that you should take some time OFF to do some fun things. Get together with your bridesmaids. Try to have a fun overnighter away with them. Do some fun stuff. Relax.
My political obsession is with foxnews.com
You earned a mini-pre-relaximoon (borrowed phrase from Mrs. Avo) with your friends or with fiancee ya know? Hugs.
I’ve somehow managed to keep my NPR fix and check the news often. I think it’s my unemployed status that allows me to do both! I hope that you can de-stress soon.
I can relate with you girl! I am 6 months out and I am all pooped out with wedding things, but then I just worry about the wedding when I am not doing wedding related tasks. The only advice I can think to give you, which I don’t know if I am the most credible, is take a date night, buy a cute top and go have a day out doing things you like to do with your fiance and try not to speak of the wedding for that day or even the next day. You might feel a bit more grounded and relaxed in the whirlwind of wedding planning.
I can relate to all of these stories. I have only been planning for about 4 months and I am ready for a vacation. I obsess about all things wedding related (probably from excitement), but then want time without thinking about the wedding. When I have that time, I start thinking about the wedding. It’s a horrible circle. And this is on top of full-time work, a son, a step-daughter, getting my bachelor’s degree and just day-to-day stuff. My face has been breaking out and I am tired all of the time. I think though that taking time for yourself is a great step in the right direction. But I have also rushed myself because I want everything at least booked in another 2 weeks. I want November and December to be for my family only.
I know what you mean! This is why I had a six-month engagement, because I can’t imagine NOT being wedding-obsessed all the time. There’s something about it that just consumes all of you. This way I’m getting it over with as quickly as possible and not even as quickly as I would’ve liked!
Take a break. I had a bit wedding poop-out a few weeks ago, but now that my day is just 6 weeks away, I am getting totally excited to see everyone and wear my dress. The magic does come back!
I wish I had encouraging words for you. I am 11 days away and I wish it was just over. I’m fighting with my mom, tired from trying to fit wedding stuff in between getting through this semester and my house has fleas even though my cats NEVER go outside. I’m so frustrated too.
I’m a big believer that sometimes a girl just needs a chance to wallow. So give yourself that time. Do what you need to do to make yourself happy - take some time off from the planning and do something that reminds you of your pre-wedding self.
Then when you’re done with that, pick yourself up and carry on! Because you’re awesome!! And you’re going to marry the man of your life!
Girl, take a deep breath and take a week or two off!! You deserve it! The great news is your life will totally be waiting for you once you get back from your honeymoon - in fact you will feel like you have more time than you know what to do with! No more searching the net, calling vendors, looking at invites and placecards, trying to keep the guest list straight!! Plus, wait till the first wedding you go to after your own. It is probably the best wedding you’ll ever go to (besides your own that is (: ) You’ll get to sit back and enjoy the food, music, and friends - no worrying about what the band will play next or if you remembered to say “hi” to your boss. In fact, I’d love for you to contact me once you do go to that first wedding after your own and let me know if you felt the same way I did!!!
Pace yourself and schedule a little non-wedding time. We all go trhough that time where it hits us that the wedding has consumed our thoughts and budgets. This is a signal that it is break time.
I’m actually a tad bit tickled as to how similar this post is to that of a woman expecting her first child. The good news is that unlike a pregnant woman, you can put this down and pick it up after election day and the wedding world will not end.
Hang in there sweetie! It will get fun again.
I highly suggest checking out the “Wedding Graduate” posts on A Practical Wedding: http://apracticalwedding.com
They have all been good reminders that the STUFF doesn’t matter– so try to relax about it! And also it’s nice to read accounts by people who have gone through it, have survived, and can tell us that yes– the MARRIAGE matters most, all the time.
YOU ARE SO RIGHT ON! You literally took the words right out of my mouth. I swear, we are like sharing a brain sometimes. LOL.
I feel this way!! I can’t stand wedding planning. I just want it to be over with and then I can stop stressing over everything. Can it be March 8th yet?
I am so with u. I have 6 months to go and Im dragging. Im going to take time off for ME
Take a break, honey! Even just a weekend where you don’t do any planning or deciding.
ugh. that is SO going to be me next year at this time. we planned a longish engagement (16 months) to give us time so we wouldn’t feel rushed… but part of me feels like all it accomplished was to put off the inevitable stress monster! hang in there! i’m sure it will all be worth it in the end!
I know exactly what you’re talking about, babe. I decided to get married in the middle the fall semester of my senior year at college. Full time student, close to full time job, a fiance who was newly home from Iraq, AND planning a wedding? What was I thinking? I was so stressed out I was in tears every day. But you know what? It was the perfect day. I hate being the center of attention but it didn’t even phase me. I was so completely absorbed in my husband, the details didn’t matter. I still don’t think all of the stress was necessary and I wish I would have been able to relax, but now that it’s over I’m rewarding myself. Now that I have post-wedding free time, I’m going to take horseback riding lessons, something I’ve wanted to do since I was little. I’m slowly catching up with school. The stress is starting to go away. It gets better hun. I promise!
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Mrs. Lemonade, Austin/San Antonio Age and Occupation: 28, Bureaucrat Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Music Management Engagement Date: December 21, 2007 Wedding Date: April, 2009 Blogging Since: August 22, 2008 Venue: Country Club ceremony, ballroom reception About Me: I’m a total wonkette who is lucky enough to be surrounded by her favorite things on a daily basis – awesome music, the great State of Texas and of course, Mr. Lemonade! I find any excuse I can to craft something and am completely infatuated with the 1950’s, all things Kennedy, and my furbaby Vida.
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