Wedding Blog
I have a little nagging worry and I need your help dealing with it, pretty please. Remember all of that stuff about the dress? I liked the David’s Bridal dress all along, I’ll admit. But (*sssshhhh*, this is the secret part) I bought the second dress for my guy.
Um, what? Yea, hold on, I’ll explain.
My best girls and I went to try on wedding dresses together about a month before Mr. Cheese and I were officially engaged. Yes, it was jumping the gun, but I justified it because one of my girls was about to move across the country and I wouldn’t see her again until our wedding and I didn’t want to miss out on such a fun experience. During that “session,” I tried on a very traditional dress — beads and a big skirt and the whole nine yards — and we took a picture. Gotta love the cheesy smile.
Late one night the mister and I were looking at pics from a party on my laptop, and I backed up one picture too far. There I was, in all of my silly-face and fake smile glory, in a wedding dress.
His reaction? In a hushed voice, “You look like a princess!”
I love the sassy dress, but I gotta be honest, I want my guy to think, “Oh, my, gosh….!” in that same hushed voice when he sees me on our wedding day. And I’m just not sure that the DB dress does it.
Thoughts? How do you reconcile what you want with what you’d like for your love?
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P.S. Now, I know he’ll think I look fabulous no matter what I wear, and maybe all I need is to remind myself that I’m supposed to go with what feels best for me… but I love him, and this is his day too. Who wouldn’t want that kind of hushed-in-awe reaction from their man on their wedding day?
Here’s what I think. That dress here, you look more, um, female, than the DB dress. The DB dress is killer. But this one? We are talking, um, measurements. We are talking hourglass.
The bridesmaid dress won’t do it. If you got a dress for your guy, it would have to be like this, out in out, etc.
Now should you? Far too complex of a question…:_) BTW, this one is FABULOUS, in an hourglass kind of way.
I think his reaction was any guy’s reaction to his fiance in a fancy dress. This is a nice dress. But is it THE dress to you?
The fact is, he will love anything because you’re in it. You looked so freaking fabulous in the DB dress, I would hate to see you pass on it because you think your fiance has a certain expectation. Believe me, all he expects is a white dress and you. Wear what makes you feel great and it’ll show.
But he has seen this one so the reaction has already passed. You look STUNNING in the DB dress and it is new and different and he will be reacting to that. Sure the DB is not your typicle wedding dress (neither is mine) but I think that makes it special and memorable. And you feel much more fab in the DB so there is no question about it in my humble opinion. Stick with DB you’ll look like a princess only hotter.
Honestly, you don’t look like yourself in this dress. In the DB dress you look SMOKIN’, but in this one you look very, very tradition, which is fine if that’s what you wanna do, but I don’t see you as a traditional kind of gal. Your body looks totally amazing in the DB dress, and it looks good in this one, too, but you look like yourself in the mermaid.
I agree with Meghan. And in reality he had that reaction because you did look like a princess but you can only imagine what he would say (or should I say WILL say) if he saw you in the other dress! You can’t go wrong with either but I hadn’t read the other post and then checked back when I read this one and was like WOW! The mermaid dress is awesome!
For sure more hourglass in this dress. Really the decision is yours, though, about whether you want to dress more for you or him. I’m sure he’ll love you in either dress. I had the same dilemma because my guy likes more of the princess style and after putting a few dresses on I was kinda liking the mermaid and trumpet styles. At one of the places I went dress shopping at the girl I was working with told me that guys grow up watching the same princess movies we do and that’s why they like those dresses most of the time. I went with more of the princess style in the end because I found a dress that had a little of something we both liked in it.
Anyway, it’s up to you…a more traditional dress or something that is a little more modern? I really do think you’ll get a great reaction out of him either way, so pick what you are happiest with.
I had the same debate when buying a dress. I was torn, do I want to go with a traditional dress or something with a little more of ‘me’ in it. I debated about what I wanted the mood of my wedding to be, romantic or chic and contemporary. I was debating between the same DB dress that you tried on and a lacey number with the a-line style. I thought about the reaction from my man and knew he’d think “wow” no matter what. It was what followed the “wow” is what helped me decide. With the traditional, I knew he’d think “wow, she’s beautiful and I’m so lucky to be marrying her” but with that DB dress I know his thought will be “wow, I’m marrying that SMOKIN woman?!? Daaaaaaaang I am a lucky man” I also decided that dress would help get me in the party hardy mood for the rest of the night.
You really have to go with your heart on this one, but make sure you get the dress that YOU like.
@ILoveMySigg: Okay, this helped SO much. Since I don’t want the dress in this pic, I may as well go with the one I love rather than a half-*ssed version of what I thought he liked. (At least, that makes sense in my head!)
@shannamt: Whew. Thanks!
@Meghan: I don’t think I look like myself, either! Whew.
@Lillindy: You know, I’m glad to hear that it’s not just me being weird. I love this place because I can admit to being a little ambivalent and not get flamed for it.
Thanks, y’all!!! I’d been needing to get that off my chest for a while!
First-time commenter here, but your story is pretty similar to mine, so I had to weigh in.
I am a non-traditional gal. I had no intention of getting anything poofy or flowery for my wedding dress. All my wedding dress shopping was focused on getting a destination wedding dress, even though I wasn’t planning a destination wedding. I bought my dress on my second trip to David’s, with the encouragement of 2 of my girlfriends. It was Galina VW8893:
http://www.davidsbridal.com/bridal_gowns_detail.jsp?stid=2637&prodgroup=10
…a beautiful, figure-hugging halter trumpet with a plunging neckline and a little sweep train. I adore it…it’s so unequivocally “me.”
A few months later, I finally showed my dress to my mom and MOH. My fiance was there with us but refused to see me in the dress because of superstition. But my mom and MOH hated it. Which wouldn’t have been enough to make me exchange it, but they told me they knew my fiance would be disappointed…and shouldn’t I consider his happiness on our wedding day? etc.
I wanted to show the dress to him so he could give me input, but he had no part of that. So we described it to him, and indeed he was disappointed. For some unknown reason, he was pretty adamant that I wear something with beading and a longer train (ugh!). He’s very image-conscious and would not be happy with just any dress…it had to be “the” dress. He had pictured something more like DB style V8820, the total opposite of what I wanted:
http://www.davidsbridal.com/bridal_gowns_detail.jsp?stid=2294&prodgroup=10
It was pretty on me, but…poof, pink, flowers, and a big chapel train. Not at ALL what I wanted.
I went back to David’s and proceeded to try on about 30 more dresses. Finally, I ended up exchanging the dress for T9315:
http://www.davidsbridal.com/bridal_gowns_detail.jsp?stid=3346&prodgroup=10
I love the way this dress looks on me (it probably flatters my figure more than the original did), and the amazing corset back alone is enough to justify the exchange. It’s not poofy or over-beaded, but it has a longer train than I like, and it’s satin (I prefer chiffon or organza) and strapless (I wanted halter or spaghetti straps, which I suppose I could still add). It’s a compromise, and I still wonder whether I should have stuck with the one that was more my style. But I just think of how happy this will make him…in the end, I know it will have been worth the trouble.
There were dresses I liked that were more “in between” like the Mori Lee bridesmaid dress (that’s the “second” dress you were mentioning, right? Not the one in this picture?). But I agree with ILoveMySigg in that something in between won’t cut it. You’ll both just end up disappointed. Do you have enough room in your budget to get both dresses, and just wear the DB dress for the reception?
FWIW, you look awesome in the DB as well as this one! I don’t love the Mori Lee pickup dress, but I’d love to see the purple bridesmaid dress from your other post on you!
I love the top of this dress on you…but the bottom isnt right…and I think that you should surprise him with something different now that he has seen this…and you know you will def get the same if not better reaction when he sees you walking down the aisle! I cant wait to try on dresses this coming April! 
Best wishes!
In general men don’t know anything about wedding dresses. They know what they see in the movies and t.v. - big strapless, cinderella ballgowns. Every time I showed my groom something more creative he always said stuff like “that looks like a nightgown” “that looks like a cocktail dress, etc.” It’s cause it just didn’t fit his hollywood “vision.” I ended up going with the dress that fit me the best and that I felt was “the one.” It’s actually super super similar to your DB dress. And he loved it. And I loved it. And everyone loved it. And I still get comments about how great it looked.
GO WITH THE DB!! Guys just don’t know any better. hehe
I’m sure his comment was just in reaction to seeing you in a wedding dress and truly picturing you for the first time as a bride. He won’t be disappointed, I assure you, whichever you choose.
I love you in the DB dress. You look nice in this dress but you look STUNNING in the DB dress. Literally, you took my breath away. I think you should definitely wear the DB dress.
Also - the DB dress totally compliments your hair cut!
I really like the DB dress the best. I think that you wear that dress, where as the one in post seems to be wearing you. Your guy is not marrying the dress, he is marrying you. If one of them makes you happier, more comfortable, and truly reflects who you are…then go for that one.
@Jen: I think that last one is a great compromise… and I’m so glad that I’m not the only one dealing with the indecision!
@Librarygirl2: Thanks for the reminder. I feel better.
Just wondering what style the dress is in the photo above (if you remember). It looks a lot like the dress I wore in my wedding! Good luck with your decision. One of my friends gave me good advice - she said that I’ll know when the dress is “the one” because it will smile at me.
I think you should wear what makes you feel best, and he will react to you radiating confidence.
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Mrs. Cheese, Knoxville
Age and Occupation: 29, Engineering Manager
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, CAD Designer
Engagement Date: July 31, 2008
Wedding Date: May, 2009
Blogging Since: October 16, 2008
Venue: Our home and the two acres it sits on
About Me: I’m an emotional girl who loves sentimental things, parenthetical asides, and trying to do things herself. I can cook, sew, am a whiz at planning, terrible at delegating, and totally in love with my fiancé (who will be my second husband but first love of the rest of my life). For our home/ garden/ DIY wedding, we’ll be moonlighting as interior designers, home improvers, and gardeners with the help of our fabulous friends and neighbors. We can’t wait to be married, and are learning how fun getting married can be.
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